F.i.g.h.t C.l.u.b

The weather was cloudy, again. And this time, it rained. We again headed to Juhu for some chaana zor garam. And again, it was Ripley’s Believe It Or Not. This time it was the script of Pankaj Kapur’s directorial debut Mausam. It stars Shahid Kapoor and Sonam Kapoor.

And those of you who are still wondering about the “again” factor, click here to read how we got lucky one day and put an open bet on Imran Khan’s famous dud – Luck. And if you  are curious to know the weather report this time, read on…

Looks like Pankaj Kapur’s aim is to tell an epic love story, which crosses the barriers of age, time, space, religion, countries and events. But the problem is, there is nothing epic about it. Its all about Harry and Aayat’s meeting, separation, meeting, separation, meeting, separation and finally, well, we all know how hindi films end.

And this meeting & separation of lovers happens all of a sudden, every time, once, twice, thrice and so on. The script is divided into four seasons, each like one chapter that tells us how the lovers meet to separate again. It starts with political undertones, and then, few more big national and international news incidents are added in every chapter to separate the lovers. The story starts in 1992 and ends in 2002. The impact of one big international incident is hilarious, its just in one scene. And there is NO need for it.

In the first season, the set up is quite elaborate, all about a marriage that has got nothing to do with the main story.  The story moves in sluggish pace and will test your patience. The second season is the one where the love story happens. And its all in Scotland. Why ? No clue. It could have been any other place, even in India. The lovers don’t get to meet because there is a communication gap. And may be, the distance helps in making the gap wider.  Season three keeps the lovers away from each other for some reason or another and then the finale in season four. One more big national incident and suddenly all is well. So, the drama is all about the communication gap and  after a point, we felt like we should just call up both Harry and Aayat and tell both of them about their whereabouts. No need to struggle to find each other. That was 70’s, sir!

If we can’t finish about 120pages at one go, it means there is something wrong with us or with the script. First 30 pages and we were snoring and how! And there are three songs in the first 30 pages. Jejus! Holy fuck! Its PANKAJ KAPUR – one of the best actors we have. Lets go back.

We tried again and finally managed to finish it. And re-read it. Its not bad, its just boring. May be, Pankaj Kapur should continue with acting or may be, he will prove us wrong and show us the big middle finger. But with Shahid Kapoor and Sonam Kapoor in the lead, it needs the talent of Wong Kar-Wai to make something interesting out of this script. And yes, lot of scenes have to go. Lots! Just go. They don’t make any sense and go nowhere though the story moves from Kashmir to Mallukot to Scotland to London to Udhampur to Ahmedabad.

And here is what we liked – The writer-director seems to be very clear about the ambience sound he wants and the way he wants. Almost every scene has decription of the same. Some of the romantic scenes in season two are interesting. There are options written for some of the scenes – either this way or that. And here is one scene from the script….

I/E.  TRAIN/TRAM.  SCOTLAND  – DAY

Harry and Aayat are seen standing in a train or tram, it is crowded.

AAYAT

Bua ab hamare saath rehti hain.

HARRY

Oh! I see. Kaise hain ?

AAYAT

Theek hai….aur tum ?

HARRY

Main bhi theek hun

AAYAT

( smiles a little or small laugh)

Nahi. I mean tum kahan rahe itne saal ?

HARRY

Kaha raha hun….(looks at her) Mallukot station se tumhari gadi ko jate dekha – ussi waqt air force mein selection ka khat mil gaya. bas phir training, uske baad commission, ab jahan jahan posting hoti hai vahin rehta hun.I mean in a way Mallukot choot sa gaya hai.

AAYAT

Mallukot what a lovely place na ?

HARRY

Yaad hai tumhe ?

AAYAT

Yes, of course.

There is a silent pause. They look at each other.

Show us the finger, sir! Show us. We are waiting and how!

The film is produced by Madhu Mantena, Reliance Religare (Sheetal Talwar) and Eros Entertainment. Madhu and Sheetal’s last masterpiece was Rann. And Eros have been delivering one dud after another. Their latest is Anjaana Anjaani. Click here and here to read what the makers have to say about this film.

Sirs, hope you do read scripts before you decide to produce a film. Hope you do know how to read a script. And hope you will be able to deliver. Good luck. And if you decided to produce the film because it has Shahid Kapoor and Sonam Kapoor, well, its never too late to start praying. Jejus!