Posts Tagged ‘Akshay Kumar’

If the header is not self-explanatory, then over to Navjot Gulati for the rest. Read on.

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILER. DO NOT READ, No, wait. READ IT IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO WASTE YOUR MONEY ON THIS FILM.

I often hear an argument by filmmakers and film Buffs that masala films generate money for the smaller (better) films to be made, and they provide good time pass fun. Not so very long ago I also believed that, but on 1st June my belief went for a toss – from Andheri to Malad to Filmcity to some studio in the outskirts of Bombay(that’s where the most of this piece of crap was shot). I wasn’t mighty impressed by Rowdy Rathore’s (RR) promos but somewhere I could see the wickedness which Prabhudeva portrayed in Wanted and that gave me a hope that RR might be a good fun, but alas.

I firmly believe that staying true to the genre is the most difficult thing to do, and if you succeed in doing that, then a Singham or a Wanted is born. For me, Singham and Wanted are true to the genre. I have been using this word too much I guess. Yes, I’m. I like to call it the Punjabi Dosa (ok, I just coined it).

The ingredients are as follows :

1. An emotional story ‘inspired’ or ‘lifted’ or ‘officially bought’ from a Southie Film.

2. A big star who is famous in North India, has six packs to show and shirts to take off.

3. 5 well-directed action sequences.

4. Humorous dialogues.

5. An item number.

6. Peppy Music.

7. A very strong villain.

8. Standout performances by supporting cast.

By no means I’m endorsing these kinds of films. I’m just stating a fact. Now, let’s analyze Raddi Rathore on these parameters.

1. Emotional Story

A pickpocketeer doppelganger of a cop takes revenge from a crime lord in Devgarh. This revenge is for the cop’s murder after he is tricked into becoming the guardian of cop’s little daughter, who still has a walkman in 2012! Because? Precisely, there’s no reason. Nostalgia, i say. Well, whatever rest happens in the film is because of only one reason – that is what happens in the original film which they have got the right to remake.

And they also have a homage to Jadu, the alien from Koi Milgaya, as the Cop is suffering from a tumor and can only fight like a Hulk when water is sprayed on his head.

2. A big star with six packs who takes his shirt off.

I disappoint. No Bhaai. No Duggu. No Devgn. No Shirt off. Probably Akki was not prepared since this is his 1st action film in AGES (CCTC, Tasveer,Tashan, Singh is King, Family had NO ACTION).

3. 5 well directed Action sequences.

I will give a 5star to anyone who can point out those to me I as was busy yawning throughout the slow-mo punches and the blasting cars in CG, all lifted from the original film (Vikramarkudu).

4. Humorous dialogues.

An example of film’s humor?

Well, it was nonexistent.

5. An item number

Wanted and Dabbang had better. Even Singham for that matter.

6. Peppy Music

The music by Sajid-Wajid is functional. Won’t last beyond the weekend of the film.

7. A very Strong Villain

They cast a guy from Southie films called Nasseer, who is trying to hard do a Prakash Raj, and he is playing a Bihari guy whose voice has been dubbed. #Enoughsaid

8. Standout performances by supporting cast

The guy who played the photographer, he has made a living out of the phrase, Bhaiyya Ji Ismile. Singham had Prakash Raj’s comic act towards the end. I crack up whenever he says, “Yeh Cheating hain”. Wanted had Prakash Raj again. Also, it had Vinod Khanna in an unintentionally funny performance. In this film, we have Yashpal Sharma visiting Baapji, played by Nasseer, with his kids and begging him to help find his wife. Later on he sees her as the sex slave of the son of Baapji, and keeps quiet to avoid his irk. As pointed by Karan Anshuman in his Mumbai Mirror review, this has to be the most regressive scene in hindi cinema history. For me, the character of Yashpal Sharma defines the film.

Now, coming to my biggest problem with the film – the ‘sur’ of the film. The reason all the films I have mentioned have worked is because they didn’t take themselves seriously, but strangely for good 50 minutes Rowdy Rathore is cringe worthy with its stupid take on all sorts of regressive films that Dharam Paaji used to do with B-grade directors. And suddenly towards the last 30 minutes, it becomes a goof ball comedy where the villain is now scared of the Police Inspector, and it miserably fails while trying to pull off a Prakash Raj.

Why It should Flop.

If this film also goes on to have a steady run from Monday, then it will give rise to many clones which will take our cinema nowhere. The ‘virus’ started with Bhaai, moved to Devgn, and now has reached Akki. I won’t be shocked if we see SRK doing such a film and making an ass of himself soon. Shahid Kapoor is already doing the remake of Vettai. And even bigger fear I have is that somewhere an aspiring filmmaker, after seeing the success of the film, will believe that the film is not about the script but the star (although it’s true but there are many who are trying to change that).

The day is not far away when Tushar Kapoor will ask Ekta Kapoor to ‘relaunch’ him in a southie remake, or for that matter, even, ‘Uday Chopra’. Be prepared for it or spread the word and make Raddi Rathore a weekend phenomenon which tanks Monday onwards.

(P.S – I’m not against masala films but the ones made ‘Badly’ like Buddha Hoga Tera Baap and now Raddi Rathore. Also, I have intentionally left out many points mentioned in other reviews/posts because I am also trying to be original 😉

The film stars Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Akshay Khanna and the always-trying-hard-to-be-dude-in-JHS Raghu Ram and his twin brother. Directed by Farah Khan, its written by Kunder Bros – Shirish and Ashmith Kunder.

Have a look. And post your feedback in the comment box.

And here is the title song video, which the makers claim that it has been leaked out. Well, the makers of biggest con job got conned!

And thanks to BollywoodWiki for the trailer alert.

Last time he cooked, we had Chandni Chowk To China. This time he is on the small screen. Akshay Kumar is the host of the MasterChef India, to be aired on Star Plus. The first promo of the show is out. Its more than 2minutes long and says nothing! Wow! Now, that needs some  serious talent. Well done. Can someone please enlighten us about the brains behind the promo ?

The film is directed by Vipul Shah and stars Akshay Kumar, Aishwarya Rai, Randhir Kapoor, Neha Dhupia and Aditya Roy Kapur.

And here is the trailer….

If this is not a Colour Test for eyes, we are not sure what is it. Vipul Shah might have the answer. Check it out.

PS – Can anyone explain the meaning of Replayy ? Why double Y ? Y ?

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Here is the trailer of a new film called Emotional Atyachar – The film and two posters of other two new films – Jhootha Hi Sahi & Action Replayy.

Emotional Atyachar – the film is directed by debutant Akshay Shere and stars Ranvir Shorey, Vinay Pathak, Mohit Ahalawat, Kalki Koechlin, Abhimanyu Singh and Ravi Kissen.

Jhootha Hi Sahi is directed by Abbas Tyrewala and stars John Abraham and Pakhi (Abbas’s wife). But why is Pakhi missing from the first poster ? Isn’t this her big debut ? Any conspiracy theory ? Action Replayy is by Vipul Shah and stars Akshay Kumar and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan.

We are sure that by now everyone knows the hottest word after “Paul” is “Jackass”. And if you are one of those who are still in wonderland, click here and here to read what,why,when and how it happened!

And it seems that Jackass Kumar and Big Buddhu B soon realised their mistake. It was backlash from every side. And in order to cover up the mess, they score a WTF hattrick. Today Bombay Blunder Times carried a story on their last page stating that it was their idea. WOW! To quote from the article….

But the point is this: Akshay Kumar didn’t visit Laxman in hospital to promote his film. It was our idea. He is, after all, playing the great cartoonist’s Common Man in his next release Khatta Meetha. At 86, ailing for close to a month, deprived of speech, struggling to get back movement, Laxman welcomes visitors. The alert and curious eyes light up, the handshake is firm and he refuses to let visitors go. They make him feel better. His wife Kamala and daughter-in-law Usha report a difference in his progress when people are around. “Akshay’s visit really made him happy, he perked up,” says Usha.

Everybody is welcome to visit Laxman, he’s on the 7th floor, room 712 of the hospital. Akshay Kumar took the time to do so. Who’s next?

Click here to go the epaper version of TOI. Select Bombay Times and then go to the last page of  14th July 2010 issue. Of course, they had no choice but to take the blame because the whole world knows the keyword called “medianet”. And it means if we want to inaugurate our new potty with Jackass Kumar grining next to it, it can come on the first page of Blunder Times. One just has to sign a fat cheque.

And whats worse, they have put out a new pic. The grin has vanished! Jackass Kumar is now all sober. Take a look.

This is the worst possible idea after making that mistake. Its confirms that they also realised the crime they committed! And today  Madhavan Narayanan, journalist/columnist with Hindustan Times, tweeted…

A source close to Laxman family has mailed me saying they were “not happy” with Akki’s behavior.

He even put out a post on the whole issue and also clarified that he knows the family. To quote his previous tweet…

I used to work 10 feet away from Mr. Laxman in TOI and we used to watch him in awe. His son was a colleague as well.

Click here to read his kickass post on the Jackass controversy. So, whats next ? What will the combo of Jackass Kumar and Blunder Times deliver. We are waiting and how!

It all started with this picture.

We wrote about it here. It was a shameless piece of shit publicity idea to involve an ailing old man who has nothing to do with the film. Rajeev Masand tweeted about it saying…

Need innovative ideas 2 promote films in competitive times. But Akshay Kumar grinning like a jackass at RKLaxman’s hospital bed is a new low.

Guess who found the tweet offensive. Amitabh Bachchan. Why ? Because of the use of the word “jackass”. We think thats an understatement. Look at the grin on Akshay Kumar’s face. What do you call that ? Plus, Rajeev said “like a jackass”. And even before Rajeev tweeted his thoughts on the pic, blogosphere and social media was already buzzing with sharp criticism of the pic and the publicity idea.

So, the key word is “Jackass”. We checked Dictionary.com and according to it…..

jack·ass has two meanings – noun

1. a male donkey.

2. a contemptibly foolish or stupid person; dolt; blockhead; ass.

We bet Rajeev didn’t mean the second one. It has to be the first one.

Anyway, WTdoubleF is that Amitabh Bachchan who criticises media almost everyday on his blog doesn’t find the pic offensive. Infact, he doesn’t comment on it but puts the focus on “jackass”. Wow! Bachchan in Blunderland. And to remind Mr Holier-than-thou, here is what he commented on his blog about TOI journalist Bharati Dubey once….

Get married, if you are not already. Embrace your sentiment. And may you hold on to it till your old age without the use of any props ! When you get there, give me a call. If I am still around, we’ll talk !!

Ofcourse, thats not personal. Click here to read more – why and when. And this wasn’t the first time. He also commented on Upala KBR of Mid-day stating…

Upala, the affable and rotund by-line writer form MidDay is insistent on my responses to the utterances of Mr Sinha, Mr ShahRukh Khan, Mr Salim Khan, Mr Aamir Khan.

Mr Bachchan, what do you mean by rotund by-line writer ? Again, going back to dictionary.com, it means…

ro·tund –adjective

1. round in shape; rounded: ripe, rotund fruit.

2. plump; fat.

3. full-toned or sonorous: rotund speeches.

Well, its also not personal! You can read the blogpost here. Wow, Sir, you are surely getting better with age. And yes, you choice of words surely confirms that you went to Sherwood School.

And click here to read Rajeev Masand’s reply to Bachchan’s criticism.

BTW, Sir, what do you think of that publicity stunt of Akshay Jackass Kumar ? Knowing your Sherwood School background, you surely can come up with better word than “jackass”! We are waiting and how!

PS – We lost respect for the old man long long long back, though he still remains one of our favourite actor of all time. So, all you “jackass” fans of Big B, come, attack us!

UPDATE – And finally the Jackass Kumar has replied. Click here to read his reply.

In Bollylalaland, there is no word called shame! As they say, jiyega..marega…publicity ke liye par kuch bhi karega! Remember Aamir Activist Khan during Rang De Basanti. Well, its that time of the year again.

A new film of Aamir Khan Productions is up for release and wonder whom he is remembering – Asheem Chakravarty. Why ? Because it makes news. Because Indian Ocean has composed one song for Peepli Live and another old song of theirs is included in the album of the film. But where was Aamir when Asheem Chakravarty passed away ? Why we didnt hear anything from him ? And where was he when the documentary on Indian Ocean – Leaving Home released ? That was the best tribute to Asheem. Aamir doesn’t need to put one more tribute show! If only he had supported the film, that would have been enough. But strange are the ways of the world, so bear it.

The other one is about Akshay Moron Kumar. Guess where he went to ? Breach Candy Hospital to meet cartoonist R K Laxman. Why ? Because he has a new film coming up called Khatta Meetha, directed by another moron called Priyadarshan. So, the marketing guys must have hit upon a great idea – lets get Akki the common man to meet the cartoonist who created the great indian common man. Because according to the Bombay Times report, Laxman’s common man was the inspiration for Akshay’s character. Bloody liars! Its a remake of malyalam film Vellanakalude Nadu.

Just take a look at the pic, see both the faces and you don’t need any words to describe  the scene. You can read the full article here (select Monday- 12th July, 2010 and then Bombay Times tab – its on left corner) or check out the first page of Bombay Times (epaper).

And thats why we have been requesting Robert Pattinson (though we hate the vampire craze)  again and again to just bite us once. We desperately wanna suck some bolly blood!

Time to leave your brains at home, again! At the rate at which Priyadarshan makes movies, we are thinking of opening a brain deposit counter. Might be a good business idea. What say ?

Anyway, the two maha-duds have come together again. And its called Khatta Meetha, directed by Priyadarshan and stars Akshay Kumar. Is it a remake again ? Don’t care much but if someone knows, do enlighten us. Here is the first teaser trailer of the film.