Archive for the ‘shit’ Category

Yes, thats the cake. And no, its not a typo for PLUM cake. Its a SLUM cake! Aur bolo ? Not only the idea is disgusting but even it looks fugly! Imagine, you are eating a slum at a birthday party. How moronic! Well, its Bollylalaland. It was Javed Akhtar’s idea, cut by Shabana Azmi and bollywood biggies danced their way to glory.

Click here to read to Guardian piece on slum cake. Click here for the party pics and here for the party report. And if you wondering about Vidya Balan’s weird wardrobe, well, headgear was the theme of the party.

We are sure that by now everyone knows the hottest word after “Paul” is “Jackass”. And if you are one of those who are still in wonderland, click here and here to read what,why,when and how it happened!

And it seems that Jackass Kumar and Big Buddhu B soon realised their mistake. It was backlash from every side. And in order to cover up the mess, they score a WTF hattrick. Today Bombay Blunder Times carried a story on their last page stating that it was their idea. WOW! To quote from the article….

But the point is this: Akshay Kumar didn’t visit Laxman in hospital to promote his film. It was our idea. He is, after all, playing the great cartoonist’s Common Man in his next release Khatta Meetha. At 86, ailing for close to a month, deprived of speech, struggling to get back movement, Laxman welcomes visitors. The alert and curious eyes light up, the handshake is firm and he refuses to let visitors go. They make him feel better. His wife Kamala and daughter-in-law Usha report a difference in his progress when people are around. “Akshay’s visit really made him happy, he perked up,” says Usha.

Everybody is welcome to visit Laxman, he’s on the 7th floor, room 712 of the hospital. Akshay Kumar took the time to do so. Who’s next?

Click here to go the epaper version of TOI. Select Bombay Times and then go to the last page of  14th July 2010 issue. Of course, they had no choice but to take the blame because the whole world knows the keyword called “medianet”. And it means if we want to inaugurate our new potty with Jackass Kumar grining next to it, it can come on the first page of Blunder Times. One just has to sign a fat cheque.

And whats worse, they have put out a new pic. The grin has vanished! Jackass Kumar is now all sober. Take a look.

This is the worst possible idea after making that mistake. Its confirms that they also realised the crime they committed! And today  Madhavan Narayanan, journalist/columnist with Hindustan Times, tweeted…

A source close to Laxman family has mailed me saying they were “not happy” with Akki’s behavior.

He even put out a post on the whole issue and also clarified that he knows the family. To quote his previous tweet…

I used to work 10 feet away from Mr. Laxman in TOI and we used to watch him in awe. His son was a colleague as well.

Click here to read his kickass post on the Jackass controversy. So, whats next ? What will the combo of Jackass Kumar and Blunder Times deliver. We are waiting and how!

Because calling him filmmaker would be disrespect to the medium. So, after his Hey Potty, he is back with HouseFool.

Check out his latest interview. There are some million gems in it. Its a must must must watch! So, click on the video, sit back, relax and take a deep breath. Its 25mins long but trust us, its all worth it!

Filmmakers and critics – it always been a strange relationship and it will remain that way. Its more weird in India because most critics are not full time critics here. They handle editorial responsibilities as well, and for that, they need the same stars/directors almost everyday. Bonds develop and every critic have their own set of people for whom they are biased, consciously or sub-consciously. One star more, half a star less, anyone can easily manipulate.

And this is why gasbags like Sajid Khan dares to open his mouth. But who is he ? The filmmaker, oops, pottymaker who directed that potty piece full of potty jokes called  Hey Baby ( we are still not sure about the number of ‘y’s and why so). Like many other shitty ones, this one also worked at the box office. Since then the pottymaker has been shouting from rooftop that he deserves better stars. Can someone please explain to him that there is a BIG differnce between trade analyst and film critic. On second thoughts, if he had the brains to understand that then he would have never have been a pottymaker at first place.

Here’s the critics qawwali which he performed at the Star Sabse Favourite Kaun Award show recently. Enjoy, if you can.

Because he or she needs to be fired now! Dont belive us, check out the video from 5:22.

We dont follow any of these maha-muqabla or maha-sangram but a good friend mailed us this one and we could not understand the maths. If you cant play the video, here is what the anchor says….

Final round se pahle Shaan ki team thi 81 points par aur Himesh’s Warriors thi 78 points par… THREE points ka difference. 

Shaan’s Strikers ka is round ke baad final score hai 122 points. Himesh ke honge isse kam ya jyada?

Is round me Himesh ko mile hain 43 points. Jiska matlab hai  unka final total hai 123.5 points aur aaj ke winner hain Himesh’s Warriors. WTF!  78+43 = 121 or 123.5 ??

This doesn’t need a Maha Maths but  the show declared Himesh as Winners! Can someone connect the missing link!

Surprise! surprise! Someone has suddenly found a new love. Till yesterday he had a favourite hobby and every night before going to bed, he used to spare time and space for it. Just go to his blog and you can read all those lovely words dedicated to the hobby called media-bashing. Even the film Paa wasnt spared, though there was no sense to it.

Now that his home production Paa has managed to get some good reviews and making money at the box office, he has mailed love letters to media persons working in various newspapers, magazines, channels and portals, thanking them for their support and appreciation. All signed by him. Guess what happened to that good old hobby!!??? Though we cant reveal the person’s name but a good soul mailed us a copy of the letter. Have a look.

If you cant read the text of the letter, it says….

My Dear XXX,

I am writing to express my deepest gratitude towards you and your prestigious XXX for giving our film “PAA” support and appreciation.

The magnanimous affection demonstrated by the media has been most overwhelming. Our company and we wish to express our gratitude for this kind gesture.

                                                                     With warm regards

                                                                     Amitabh Bachchan

                                                                    Abhishek Bachchan 

Not very very long ago, the same Amitabh Bachchan wrote these lines on his blog…

You mention in your article under reference that I should not forget that the media has had a distinct hand in my stardom. Ho ! Ho Ho ! … now we are all laughing !

Firstly, I have never ever accepted or believed in this media created epithet of stardom or any other ‘dom’. And secondly, for 18 years under the ban of the media, Amitabh Bachchan ‘the actor’ that you admire, had his most successful run at the box office.  So get off your high horse and smell the dung. Media will be incapable of making or breaking an actor. Only the masses have that strength and you are still very far away from that criteria.

You can read the full post here. This was in reply to Abhijit Mazumder’s column in Mid-day.

Dear Mr Bachchan,

What happened ? Is the letter a mistake ? Why this change in stand suddenly ? Or is this a fake love letter ? An actor of your calibre surely knows how to fake it, and fake it well.

MFC

BTW, Big B’s next release Rann directed by Ram Gopal Varma also promises to expose the media. The remote controlled country! And he is the same actor who created that Patna based stupid monster SKJ, whose claim to fame is false reports, a mention by Bachchan on his show Kaun Banega Crorepati and Sonu Nigam! Talk about corrupting the media. Ho Ho Ho…now we are all laughing!

Beat this! This is called guts! Even when his recent release Radio has proved to be a big dud at the box office and has been killed by every possible sane reviewer, Himesh Reshammiya is again threatening us with a new film. Bhaag Bhola, Run Lola, Himesh Bhai is back!

The film is Kajraare, directed by Pooja Bhatt! T-Series is producing the film and its written by Mahesh Bhatt. A man trying to run away from his past….A woman trying to escape her future! Sounds like they are going to meet on the sets of new tv show “Raaz Picchle Janam Ka“.

Out of 12 pages of today’s Bombay Times, three full pages have Himesh on it. The first page, second page and one more. The morning chai rarely taste so better! Mr Pinky-dinky-lips! Take a look and enjoy!

And here is the third page. The list of critics you should never trust! Our favourite is Juginder Chuteja, oops, Tuteja!