There is a new twist in the tale. Film Federation of India has written a letter to Ritesh Batra after all the Oscar hullabaloo.
Read on.
(PS – What’s with ???)
Archive for the ‘gossipmongers’ Category
Film Federation Of India’s letter to Ritesh Batra on Oscar Controversy
Posted: September 30, 2013 by moifightclub in bollywood, cinema, film, gossipmongers, Indie, News, WTFTags: FFI, Film Federation Of India, Oscar, ritesh batra, The Lunchbox
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WTF : Shabana Azmi’s 60th birthday – Slum Cake!
Posted: September 23, 2010 by moifightclub in Bolly Jokes, gossipmongers, News, pics, shit, WTFTags: birthday, Guardian, Javed Akhtar, Shabana Azmi, Slum, Slum Cake, WTF
Yes, thats the cake. And no, its not a typo for PLUM cake. Its a SLUM cake! Aur bolo ? Not only the idea is disgusting but even it looks fugly! Imagine, you are eating a slum at a birthday party. How moronic! Well, its Bollylalaland. It was Javed Akhtar’s idea, cut by Shabana Azmi and bollywood biggies danced their way to glory.
Click here to read to Guardian piece on slum cake. Click here for the party pics and here for the party report. And if you wondering about Vidya Balan’s weird wardrobe, well, headgear was the theme of the party.
I-Day Special – Top 10 Twitteraties who blocked us and for some damn good reasons!
Posted: August 15, 2010 by moifightclub in Bolly Jokes, bollywood, gossipmongers, life, Special, ThoughtsTags: Jitesh Pillaa, Luv Sinha, Mahesh Bhatt, Sajid Khan, Sarita Tanwar, Shatrughan Sinha, Shirish Kunder, Suhel Seth, Vikram Bhatt
In yesterday’s Mint Lounge I-Day Special Edition Sidin Vadukut had a piece where he argued that Twitter is better than blog. Just 140 characters, say it, over and out. But we don’t agree. What do you do when you have to make a list ? So, we are back to a post which was in drafts for long time. And what better day than I-Day to put it out.
So, here is our list of Top 10 Twitteraties who blocked us in the last one year or so. And some, for damn fcuk funny reasons. Its time to celebrate our gag order and do tell us who blocked you and for what ? In no particular order…the new members of Fight Club Hall Of Shame…read on…
1. Mahesh Bhatt – He makes us feel that Itchgaurd will never make a loss till he is alive. But he gave us some brillant movies too. He is the biggest importer of talent from across the border, at the cheapest possible rate. But we loved his book A Taste Of Life too.
This time he was tweeting about how the Copyright Bill is not good for Bollywood. We decided to burst his tweets, retweeted them with the correct facts, that how its going to stop the exploitation of lyricists, singers, composers and how they will finally be able to retain the copyright of their compositions. With no straight arguements in hand (ok, may be he was busy itching), he clicked the BLOCKED button.
2. Vikram Bhatt – If Uncle is here, can the nephew be far behind! The director delivered more than dozen duds, all in a row. But we loved the HT Cafe covers that he wrote when Khalid Mohamed was the editor there. Aha, that love story also went kaput. Back to our story.
He tweeted – Mahakshay Chakraborty is the next big thing. Whoever disagrees has something coming! And we dared to disagree. Which sane person wouldn’t ? BTW, Mahakshay is MIMOH reloaded! And when we reacted in the nasty possible way, he told us – don’t be in too much of a hurry to write someone’s obituary. You are not even what he is.
But as Arnab Goswami would put it The country wants to know, who wants to be Mimoh or Mahaskahy and why ? Tell us NOW! Not us and we don’t know anyone with such a wish. But we have to thank him, he made us bit more (in)famous!
3. Shirish Kunder – This is our favourite story! It seems he discovered Adaptation quite late and tweeted that its a brillant film written by Charlie & Donald Kaufman. We corrected him. There is nobody called Donald. He again tweeted that how Charlie & Donald Kaufman were nominated for the Oscar Award for Adaptation. We again corrected him and retweeted that Donald Kaufman doesn’t exist. And don’t expect us to be sober when we are telling you something about someone whom we consider to be the God of screenwriting. And then boom..Blocked.
BTW, we think he shot some of the songs in Jaaneman superbly. His next is JOKER with Akshay Kumar. #JGrin. Get ready for all the puns, Mr. Donald Duck!
4. Sajid Khan – Aha, the gasbag! What do you call someone who made supershits like Heyy Potty and Housedull ? Not Filmmaker for sure. We call him Pottymaker. You need some talent to make such expensive potties and make people eat it too!
The last nail in our BLOCK coffin – he tweeted that Up In The Air was boring. He could not finish the film and stopped it midway. Ooh la la. Reaction and his action! Last heard, he is MIA on Twitterverse. We have started following the fake one.
5. Suhel Seth – Nobody knows about his day job. But we all know that he is a fuckall actor (Courtesy Pooja Bhatt). Does he sleep in tv studios ? How come he is such an authoritative voice on everything…from Arundhati to Arunachal and Commonwealth Games to Chinese Cuisine ? Does he have a twin brother ? Because sometimes he is on air at 2-3 channels at the same time. HOW ? Plus, he writes Agony Uncle columns too!
Can’t find the piece now but someone wrote a feature on him and enlightened us about his day job. We retweeted it with all our genuine concerns. The Agony Uncle went BANG! We like his Agony Uncle pose though! Check out the pic here, on the top left-hand corner of the website.
6. Shatrughan Sinha – Can’t locate him on Twitter now but swear, he was there. Was tweeting about his son Luv Sinha’s Saddiyaan. Guess it was the beta tweeting on behalf of daddy dearest. Ok, so we can cover both the Sinhas together. Go check No. 7.
7. Luv Sinha – Who ? Yes, that should be the first question. But then, thats how Bollylalaland operate. Ok, here is the joke of the century. Luv Sinha has two fan clubs on twitter. Here & here. But then, he can reply in another joke – Even Uday Chopra has a fan club. Aur bolo ?Can we please have one too ? Hands up ?
As we were busy cracking Sadiyaan jokes, the baap-beta duo shouted KHAMOSH!
8. Jitesh Pillaai – Bus naam hi kaafi hai ? Ok, Test your Bolly Quotient – Tell us the name of one editor who calls Sonam Kapoor as My Shona Chona or something like that ? Well, if you edit the most expensive and glossy toilet paper in the country, guess you can do so. We were cribbing about the toilet paper for a long time and finally one day he woke up and did the good tweed of the day!
BTW, did Kalmadi order the same toilet paper from filmUNfare office for CWG? It needs lot of talent to fill so many pages, issue after issue, with so much shit! Oh yeah, finally after ages they did a nice feature recently where they got Dibakar Bannerjee, Zoya Akhtar, Shimit Amin, Anurag Kashyap and Madhur Bhandarkar together for a delicious chat. But Madhur ????
9. Sarita Tanwar – We love Mid Day for all the sleaze and the goss. But she edits the Hit List. We loved the fact that its editor Abhijit Majumder didn’t compromise his stand after his famous altercation with Amitabh Bachchan.
But how can you let anyone to rate Once Upon A Time In Mumbai 4.5/5 stars!!!?? Even more than Peepli Live and many other such films. We happily crowned her the Jackass Critic Of The Week. And there she went…chore ko toh dikhte hai sab chor!
BTW, a bitchy actress called up to say that by the weekend she was celebrating the success of OUATIM at her best friend and producer Ekta Kapoor’s party. And she makes it to our sHIT List!
10. Like all those morons who dedicate their tweets to Anupam Kher, this one is dedicated to all those nameless and faceless creatures who blocked as for all the right reasons. Go kiddos, make your list and make us more famous. We Love Hate Storys and We Are Family for sure! Aha, KJo always comes so handy! Even on I-Day!
POTD : Spot the Wig Man Out! Plus Junior B’s new KHJJS pic after 24 hrs countdown (WTF)!
Posted: August 15, 2010 by moifightclub in Aao guess karein, Bolly Jokes, bollywood, etc, gossipmongers, picsTags: Abhishek Bachchan, Amitabh Bachchan, Endhiran, Khelein Hum Jee Jaan Sey, pics, Rajinikanth, Robot
This time POTD is not Pic Of The Day but its PICK Of The Day. Take a closer look at both the pics and pick the odd wig man out! Both the pics are from the music release function of Rajinikanth & Aishwarya Rai starrer Robot (Endhiran).
And if you think its a futile exercise, click here. Its even made to Answers.com page. So, don’t put the blame on us. We have never been able to understand the reason though. And he is so desperate that even when he is being taken to the hospital on a stretcher bed, he doesn’t forget to cover it. Scroll down and take a closer look at the pic….aha, the hand!
Dear Boss, you can do everything. Can you please crack this puzzle ?
Moving to Junior B. The kid who is tweeting for his new film Khelein Hum Jee Jaan Sey should be immediately banned from Twitterverse. Why ? Check out this timeline. They did 24 hours countdown to reveal a new KHJJS pic of Junior B. Here is another puzzle…tell us whats so special about this pic ?
Their answer – Its part one of our independence Day surprise.
Our answer – Please take back our independence if this is the surprise!
WTHattrickF : Jackass Kumar’s grin is gone! Bombay Times takes the blame!
Posted: July 15, 2010 by moifightclub in Bolly Jokes, bollywood, gossipmongers, shit, Thoughts, WTFTags: Akshay Kumar, Bombay Times, Jackass, R K Laxman
We are sure that by now everyone knows the hottest word after “Paul” is “Jackass”. And if you are one of those who are still in wonderland, click here and here to read what,why,when and how it happened!
And it seems that Jackass Kumar and Big Buddhu B soon realised their mistake. It was backlash from every side. And in order to cover up the mess, they score a WTF hattrick. Today Bombay Blunder Times carried a story on their last page stating that it was their idea. WOW! To quote from the article….
But the point is this: Akshay Kumar didn’t visit Laxman in hospital to promote his film. It was our idea. He is, after all, playing the great cartoonist’s Common Man in his next release Khatta Meetha. At 86, ailing for close to a month, deprived of speech, struggling to get back movement, Laxman welcomes visitors. The alert and curious eyes light up, the handshake is firm and he refuses to let visitors go. They make him feel better. His wife Kamala and daughter-in-law Usha report a difference in his progress when people are around. “Akshay’s visit really made him happy, he perked up,” says Usha.
Everybody is welcome to visit Laxman, he’s on the 7th floor, room 712 of the hospital. Akshay Kumar took the time to do so. Who’s next?
Click here to go the epaper version of TOI. Select Bombay Times and then go to the last page of 14th July 2010 issue. Of course, they had no choice but to take the blame because the whole world knows the keyword called “medianet”. And it means if we want to inaugurate our new potty with Jackass Kumar grining next to it, it can come on the first page of Blunder Times. One just has to sign a fat cheque.
And whats worse, they have put out a new pic. The grin has vanished! Jackass Kumar is now all sober. Take a look.
This is the worst possible idea after making that mistake. Its confirms that they also realised the crime they committed! And today Madhavan Narayanan, journalist/columnist with Hindustan Times, tweeted…
A source close to Laxman family has mailed me saying they were “not happy” with Akki’s behavior.
He even put out a post on the whole issue and also clarified that he knows the family. To quote his previous tweet…
I used to work 10 feet away from Mr. Laxman in TOI and we used to watch him in awe. His son was a colleague as well.
Click here to read his kickass post on the Jackass controversy. So, whats next ? What will the combo of Jackass Kumar and Blunder Times deliver. We are waiting and how!
WTdoubleF: Guess who is supporting Akshay “Jackass” Kumar ? Amitabh Bachchan. Naam toh suna hoga!
Posted: July 13, 2010 by moifightclub in Bolly Jokes, bollywood, gossipmongers, Thoughts, WTFTags: Akshay Kumar, Amitabh Bachchan, Bharati Dubey, Jackass, R K Laxman, Rajeev Masand, Twitter, Upala KBR
It all started with this picture.
We wrote about it here. It was a shameless piece of shit publicity idea to involve an ailing old man who has nothing to do with the film. Rajeev Masand tweeted about it saying…
Need innovative ideas 2 promote films in competitive times. But Akshay Kumar grinning like a jackass at RKLaxman’s hospital bed is a new low.
Guess who found the tweet offensive. Amitabh Bachchan. Why ? Because of the use of the word “jackass”. We think thats an understatement. Look at the grin on Akshay Kumar’s face. What do you call that ? Plus, Rajeev said “like a jackass”. And even before Rajeev tweeted his thoughts on the pic, blogosphere and social media was already buzzing with sharp criticism of the pic and the publicity idea.
So, the key word is “Jackass”. We checked Dictionary.com and according to it…..
jack·ass has two meanings – noun
1. a male donkey.
2. a contemptibly foolish or stupid person; dolt; blockhead; ass.
We bet Rajeev didn’t mean the second one. It has to be the first one.
Anyway, WTdoubleF is that Amitabh Bachchan who criticises media almost everyday on his blog doesn’t find the pic offensive. Infact, he doesn’t comment on it but puts the focus on “jackass”. Wow! Bachchan in Blunderland. And to remind Mr Holier-than-thou, here is what he commented on his blog about TOI journalist Bharati Dubey once….
Get married, if you are not already. Embrace your sentiment. And may you hold on to it till your old age without the use of any props ! When you get there, give me a call. If I am still around, we’ll talk !!
Ofcourse, thats not personal. Click here to read more – why and when. And this wasn’t the first time. He also commented on Upala KBR of Mid-day stating…
Upala, the affable and rotund by-line writer form MidDay is insistent on my responses to the utterances of Mr Sinha, Mr ShahRukh Khan, Mr Salim Khan, Mr Aamir Khan.
Mr Bachchan, what do you mean by rotund by-line writer ? Again, going back to dictionary.com, it means…
ro·tund –adjective
1. round in shape; rounded: ripe, rotund fruit.
2. plump; fat.
3. full-toned or sonorous: rotund speeches.
Well, its also not personal! You can read the blogpost here. Wow, Sir, you are surely getting better with age. And yes, you choice of words surely confirms that you went to Sherwood School.
And click here to read Rajeev Masand’s reply to Bachchan’s criticism.
BTW, Sir, what do you think of that publicity stunt of Akshay Jackass Kumar ? Knowing your Sherwood School background, you surely can come up with better word than “jackass”! We are waiting and how!
PS – We lost respect for the old man long long long back, though he still remains one of our favourite actor of all time. So, all you “jackass” fans of Big B, come, attack us!
UPDATE – And finally the Jackass Kumar has replied. Click here to read his reply.
Dear PJ, stop playing dirty & petty politics!
Posted: June 10, 2010 by moifightclub in Bolly Jokes, bollywood, cinema, conspiracy theory, film, film review, gossipmongers, movie reviews, reviewsTags: Apaharan, Manish Tiwari, Open, Padmaja Thakore, PFC, PJ, Prakash Jha, Raajneeti, review, Tehelka
PJ – As a reviewer wrote, ” Perhaps Prakash Jha is just punning on his initials, and laughing at us all”. We thought its priceless and deserves to be QOTD! But who knew that PJ would really get down to play dirty and stupid politics. First story is our conspiracy theory and second, our sources say, is cent percent true. And if second story is true, then we are sure about the first one too.
Here is the conspiracy theory. Padmaja Thakore posted a review of Fart-neeti on PFC, and in not so kind words. Two days later, the post vanished. No reason was given, where and how. And if you have been following Padmaja Thakore’s posts, then its not difficult to figure out how strongly she defends her reviews. Suddenly withdrawl symptoms! Why ?
We were curious and tried to put two plus two together. We found out that she is married to filmmaker Manish Tiwari who made his debut with Dil Dosti Etc. The film was produced by Prakash Jha. According to our theory, PJ must have got to know about the review and didn’t take it lightly. Ghar ka bhedi Bivishan, ok, Bivishan’s wife ( Yes, if they can take Mahabharata route, we are going Ramayan way). And thats why, without any reason Padamaja Thakore removed her Raajneeti post from PFC. If you are still interested in reading it, click here to read the post. Courtesy – Google cache!
Now, the fact. We have got to know that PJ has been calling the big bosses of one of the popular websites and has threatened to sue them and their reviewer. Reason ? Their Fart-neeti review and the reviewer’s hilarious pricesless quotes on him and his Fart-neeti film. It seems PJ, unlike his intials, doesnt have a funny bone. And our sources say that this news is cent percent true. If this is true, we are sure that our conspiracy theory is correct too.
Whats more, this is not the first time that PJ is doing it. When his film Apaharan released, something similar had happened. The film had a tie-up with one of the major hindi news channels. But when the channel gave a bad review to the film, PJ called up the person concerned and got into an altercation, on how they can give bad review to the film when they are channel partner! Since then, the two have not been on talking terms!
Someone need to tell Mr PJ that any kind of partnership doesnt mean that you own the editorial right over any kind of content! Unless, its Khat-Ni LajMi ! And yes Mr PJ, now we know why you lost the elections, not once but twice. Think big, play politics at bigger level, not dirty & petty ones!
PS – And after all this, we read a profile of PJ in the latest issue of Tehelka that portrays him as a man born with instinctive love for risk! Yawwwwnnn…..we have happily moved to Open!
PPS – Dont get us wrong, we also used to love his films. But then, his “films” used to deal with politics and not “him”! Now its all just a PJ!
Na Raaj Na Neeti – We bet FOUR fucking stars! And here it is!
Posted: June 4, 2010 by moifightclub in Bolly Jokes, bollywood, conspiracy theory, film review, gossipmongers, movie reviews, News, WTFTags: Raajneeti, review, Scam, Scandal, WTF
Here was our bet! And yes, she doesn’t disappoint! And like always, we are again damn right! Ok, tired of saying it. BTW, we are being warned from different sides – Karara jawab denge! We replied – Hum dekhenge…par jo kahenge sach kahenge….
And if you are still interested in reading the review, click here.
WTF : Na Raaj, Na Neeti, its a bloody scam! Four stars! Wanna bet ? (UPDATED)
Posted: May 31, 2010 by moifightclub in Bet You Didn't Know, bollywood, conspiracy theory, film, film review, gossipmongers, movie reviews, plagiarism, reviews, ThoughtsTags: film, film review, rating, Scam, Star
The name is La-zmi. KhatNi La-zmi! She is known for starting her ”stars” count from three. Give her any movie to review and it will be three. We follow a simple thumb rule when it comes to her star ratings. La-zami’s 2 stars = zero. So, 3 = 0+1 = 1, 4 = 2 and 5 = 3. Try it out for any movie and it works every time.
Plus, she also has the distinction of being the only film critic in India who even plagiarised a film review! Ooh la la! What a Tale it was, Shark Tale. And that too from Roger Ebert’s review. Aur bolo ? And if you were in your nappies those days, you can click here and here to read more about the scandal. If you are reading the first link, do check out the comment section (4th comment) for complete proof of her xerox machinery!
And after all this, she still has her job with India’s one of the biggest media group (ok, giant). Plus, there is more! Remember how her Kurbaan review suddenly made it to the front page of Bombay Times on that bloody friday!
We are exactly not sure who get to make how much for every “star” that matters and for moving the review from Page 8 to 1st Page! But someone surely is busy counting. And it cant be only her! But here comes the best part – it didn’t help the makers and distributors of the film any bit. The film bombed and how!
Ask any Delhiwallah and they will happily tell you how exclusive screenings are held for her. Ok, she may be plus size (or XXXL or whatever) but she surely doesnt need the entire theatre to herself. Why aren’t other critics invited for the same ? Brownie “stars” & more! It happened during Paa too. And when some of the Delhi based critics raised their voice, Amitabh Bachchan apologised about the same. Now after all that history, here is the latest dope!
We are sure, cent percent sure! The makers of Raajneeti have already shown the film to her. Only her. Almost a week before the release. And she has confirmed her rating to them! Four fucking stars! Not sure who fucked whom, where, how and in what position but its gonna happen. We are willing to bet! Unless our blogpost manages to make enough noise for her/publication to change it from 4 to 3.5 stars! But if the group is involved and cheques have been passed, then aandhi aaye ya toofan, its gonna be four, fucking four!
And its not only her and the publication, the makers of the film are no lesser culprit. BTW, do we see a pattern here ? Its from the same production house! Have they cracked a “stars” subscription deal ? Looks like. As the dude sang, The Times They Are A-Changin’…..just that we didn’t realise that it will go to the other extreme!
UPDATE – We returned home and switched on the tv, it was Bambai se gayee Poona, Poona se gayee Patna n blah blah blah on SetMax. That was Juhi Chawla. But guess who else is singing…delhi se gayee bambai, rating meri bhi bik gayee! Same old Khat-Ni Lajmi. We got lil wrong on the location info. It seems she was shown the film in Mumbai and NOT in Delhi. And the makers flew her from Delhi To Mumbai to screen the film for her. Now, we are gonna bet its 4.fucking5 stars!
Who the fuck is Joginder Tuteja or is he Mr Chutreja ? Jaane Kahan Se Aaya Hai!
Posted: April 14, 2010 by moifightclub in bollywood, cast & crew, conspiracy theory, film review, gossipmongers, News, reviews, ThoughtsTags: Jaane Kahan Se Aayi Hai, Joginder Tuteja, review
Wondering why we are wasting so much energy, time and space on this certain Mr Joginder Tuteja…naah..we like the surname Chutreja! Who is he ? Really! Ok, take a look at the following two pics…
This is a screen grab from the film Jaane Kahaan Se Aayi hai. And Mr Chutreja gets an opening credit in the film, as “Editorial Advisor”. And that too, all solo. Even Chetan Bhagat didnt get that. BTW, can someone please explain to us the contribution of “Editorial Advisor”. Now check this out.
Here is the print ad that quotes the same Chutrejaji, unless there are two Joginder Tutejas.
So, Chutrejaji has given 4 fucking stars to Jaane Kahan Se Aayi Hai! Even Nikhat Kazmi has given 3.5 (count that 1.5. Because her maths is all wrong. Count her 2 stars = zero. Then it fits well. Try it next time). So, is this the role of “Editorial Advisor” ? 4 stars ? And how unethical it is to review a film in which you have an opening credit! Will the real Mr Tuteja or Chutreja please stand up! And he writes for PTI! Aur bolo ?
Can someone please explain this to us ? Or is it just namesake ? If so, we are sorry but please tell us the role of “Editorial Advisor”. We would love to try our luck there. Bet it includes a fat cheque too! For the rest, well, if this is the state of affairs, film criticism better be dead. Let A O Scott argue as much as he wants too. Long live Chutrejas!
F.i.g.h.t C.l.u.b 