Posts Tagged ‘rating’

Times of India’s film critic Srijana Mitra Das has given 4 stars to Sajid Khan’s Housefull2. Who is this enlightened soul? Someone please introduce us to him/her. Seems like a bong. And a bong with such unique taste in cinema must belong to some rare tribe. Anyway, if the 4 stars weren’t baffling eough, there’s more to the story. Take a look at this pic.

This is the Bangalore edition of TOI. Have taken a screengrab of the review page. Reviewer is the same Srijana Mitra Das and rating is 4 stars. Now take a look at this next pic.

This screengrab is from the Chennai edition of TOI. Again, reviewer is the same Srijana Mitra Das. But the rating is 2.5 stars. Who ate up my 1.5 stars?

Same film, same reviewer, same newspaper but two editions and two different ratings.

WTF!

Who writes the reviews? Who gives the ratings? Does Srijan Mitra Das really exist?

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO US?

Tip – Yashpal Singh/Dhanya Rajendran

The name is La-zmi. KhatNi La-zmi! She is known for starting her ”stars” count from three. Give her any movie to review and it will be three. We follow a simple thumb rule when it comes to her star ratings. La-zami’s 2 stars = zero. So, 3 = 0+1 = 1, 4 = 2 and 5 = 3. Try it out for any movie and it works every time.

Plus, she also has the distinction of being the only film critic in India who even plagiarised a film review!  Ooh la la! What a Tale it was, Shark Tale. And that too from Roger Ebert’s review. Aur bolo ? And if you were in your nappies those days, you can click here and here to read more about the scandal. If you are reading the first link, do check out the comment section (4th comment) for complete proof of her xerox machinery!

And after all this, she still has her job with India’s one of the biggest media group (ok, giant). Plus,  there is more! Remember how her Kurbaan review suddenly made it to the front page of Bombay Times on that bloody friday!

We are exactly not sure who get to make how much for every “star” that matters and for moving the review from Page 8 to 1st Page! But someone surely is busy counting.  And it cant be only her!  But here comes the best part – it didn’t help the makers and distributors of the film any bit. The film bombed and how!

Ask any Delhiwallah and they will happily tell you how exclusive screenings are held for her. Ok, she may be plus size (or XXXL or whatever) but she surely doesnt need the entire theatre to herself. Why aren’t other critics invited for the same ? Brownie “stars” & more! It happened during Paa too. And when some of the Delhi based critics raised their voice, Amitabh Bachchan apologised about the same. Now after all that history, here is the latest dope!

We are sure, cent percent sure! The makers of Raajneeti have already shown the film to her. Only her. Almost a week before the release. And she has confirmed her rating to them! Four fucking stars! Not sure who fucked whom, where, how and in what position but its gonna happen. We are willing to bet! Unless our blogpost manages to make enough noise for her/publication to change it from 4 to 3.5 stars! But if the group is involved and cheques have been passed, then aandhi aaye ya toofan, its gonna be four, fucking four!

And its not only her and the publication, the makers of the film are no lesser culprit. BTW, do we see a pattern here ? Its from the same production house! Have they cracked a “stars” subscription deal ? Looks like. As the dude sang, The Times They Are A-Changin’…..just that we didn’t realise that it will go to the other extreme!

UPDATE – We returned home and switched on the tv, it was Bambai se gayee Poona, Poona se gayee Patna n blah blah blah on SetMax. That was Juhi Chawla. But guess who else is singing…delhi se gayee bambai, rating meri bhi bik gayee! Same old Khat-Ni Lajmi. We got lil wrong on the location info. It seems she was shown the film in Mumbai and NOT in Delhi. And the makers flew her from Delhi To Mumbai to screen the film for her. Now, we are gonna bet its 4.fucking5 stars!

Anupama ChopraNow, Picture This! Is it technical goof-up or peer pressure ? Or some readers might dismiss it as our conspiracy theory! But whatever it is, its interesting for sure. Read on.

Every friday morning we religiously do one thing. Check out all the possible reviews of the recent releases. Generally Indiafm (Taran Adarsh), Rediff (Raja Sen/Sukanya Varma/Chandrima Pal) and NDTV (Anupama Chopra) come out with the early reviews. Anupama’s reviews are first published on the website www.ndtvmovies.com and are generally out by noon. She speaks out the same lines on her review show Picture This on NDTV 24 X 7 at 20:30.

This friday when we put out the early reviews of Sujoy Ghosh’s Aladin on this post , we read Anupama’s review and realised that she has rated Aladin – 3/5 stars. Here is the google cache of the same page. Have a look.

aladin_review1

After that, slowly one by one reviews started coming out. And most of the reviewers thrashed the film completely, rating it between 1 and 2 stars.

There are lot of reviewers who know that they are wrong guys at the wrong place and so before rating any film they make sure to call up few other fellow reviewers and check if they are judging the film right or wrong. Trust us, it does happen. Or they end up making fool of themselves who even give good ratings to Randeep Hooda’s Love Khichdi, search Buzz18 reviews! But no, Anupama Chopa doesnt belong to the club! She is infact one of the most sane and sorted out reviewers who knows her subject quite well. Though sometimes she looks misfit for TV.

And thats why its a big shock and surprise to see the rating of Aladin going down from three to two stars. Here is the link to the new review page with 2/5 stars. Putting here a snapshot of the same page. Its UNBELIEVABLE! Do they think we are blind and they can get away with anything ? Naah, those days are passe! 

So, will the holier-than-thou NDTV explain this to us ?

Aladin new review1

On her show Picture This  she rated the film 2/5. So, did she change her rating after reading other reviews ? Or was it someone else’s mistake who added one extra star to Aladin ? If anyone can enlighten us on this issue, we will be much relieved! Do let us know. We are eagerly waiting to know why and how!