Archive for the ‘WTF’ Category

Central Board Of Film Certification (CBFC) has refused to certify Alankrita Srivastava’s film Lipstick Under My Burkha. And the reason given are pure WTF. Here is the letter issued by CBFC. Do read.

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Click here to read the full report. This is not the first time that they have been so dumb about certifying a film. And this surely won’t be the last. With bonafide morons at the helm of affairs, what else can one expect.

And the best part is the film has been doing the fest rounds for quite some time and has been getting some great reviews.

 

Indian Express recently did a feature on the new Censor Board. They interviewed all the Board members on films, violence & sex in films and other such related stuff. It’s difficult to imagine from which stone age  they picked up these fossils who will now censor and certify the films. Except Dr Chandra Prakash Dwivedi, everyone’s IQ seems to be the same. Click here to read the feature.

Today the news is out that the Censor Board had asked the makers of Dum Laga Ke Haisha to mute the word “lesbian”. Ghanta, haramipana, haram ke pille and haramkhor words have also been replaced (see the image).

wbaDaHoo

Well, nothing surprising there. But “lesbian”? What’s wrong with the word? or in what context is it wrong? We called up one of the Board members who was against it and we got to know the exact scene.

When the female lawyer is consoling Sandhya at the court and touches her face lovingly, her younger brother says – ‘Mummy…didi lesbian toh na hoti jaari..‘ Mummy says ‘Ye kya hota hai?‘ and then the brother says ‘Bade shehron ki bimaari hai..

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Aing! The “L” word. What’s so scary there? Since it was shot in such a way that the makers could not mute the word, so they had to remove the entire dialogue.

Will someone please enlighten us what was so wrong with “lesbian” or its context in the scene?

The Ghanta Awards, 2015 – Nomination List

Posted: February 19, 2015 by moifightclub in Awards, bollywood, WTF
Tags: ,

Pic 1The 5th edition of the Ghanta Awards is here and the team behind the awards have come up with this year’s nomination list. The East India Comedy (Sorabh Pant, Sapan Verma, Sahil Shah and Kunal Rao) will host the Awards in Mumbai on 8th March, 2015.

1. Worst Film

Action Jackson

Humshakals

Kick

 

2. Worst Director

Farah Khan: HNY

Sajid Khan: Humshakals

Anant Mahadevan: The Xpose

 

3. Worst Actor

Ajay Devgn in Action Jackson

Saif/Ram/Riteish in Humshakals

Akshay in It’s Entertainment

 

4. Worst Actress

Bipasha: Creature 3D/Humshakals

Sonakshi Sinha: Holiday/Action Jackson

Sunny Leone in Ragini MMS 2

 

5. Worst Song

“Photocopy” from Jai Ho

“Icecream Khaungi” from The Xposé

“Callertune” from Humshakals

 

6. Worst Debut

Shekhar Suman in Heartless (as Director)

Mannara in Zid

Mika & Shaan in Balwinder Singh Famous Ho Gaya

 

7. WTF Was That!

SRK learning to dance from a bar dancer in Happy New Year

Jackie Bhagnani ‘inheriting’ the PMship in Youngistaan

Ajay Devgn’s genitals being a good luck charm in Action Jackson

 

8. Anything But Sexy

Sonakshi Boxing/Playing Rugby in Holiday

Randeep Hooda & Nandana Sen having sex in paint in Rang Rasiya

Deepika Padukone animated in Kochadaiyyaan

 

9. Most Controversial Controversy

TOI’s Deepika Cleavagegate

Ridiculous demands to ban PK

Ali Zafar insulting Afridi in Total Siyappa

 

10. Worst Couple

Ajay Devgn/Sonakshi/Yami/Manasvi in Action Jackson

Arjun & Ranveer in Gunday

Akshay Kumar & a Golden Retriever in It’s Entertainment

 

11. Worst Miscasting

Priyanka Chopra as Mary Kom

Alia Bhat & Arjun Kapoor as MBA’s in 2 States

Sonam Kapoor as a Physiotherapist in Khoobsurat

 

12. Worst Brand Endorsement

Shreyas Talpade for Red Bus

Hrithik & Sonam for Oppo Mobile

Viveik Oberoi for Swacch Bharat Campaign

 

13. Worst Supporting Role

Suniel Shetty and a tank in Jai Ho!

Everyone (Except SRK) in Happy New Year

KRK in Ek Villain

 

14. Shit Nobody Saw

Sholay 3D

Ungli

Dhishikiyaoon

What happened with Coke Studio (Pakistan) Season 6?

Posted: January 15, 2014 by moifightclub in music, WTF
Tags: , , ,

Our regular music contributor Rohwit is angry. He is in full Hulk mode. Here’s why.

Coke-Studio-Season-6

Background

Like every year, the entire commune of music lovers (and cynics) waited for the new season of Coke Studio Pakistan to air, and despite so many delays, it finally did. The modus operandi was different this time. It was to showcase what ‘logistics proof’ fusion can achieve thanks to technology. The melodies were handpicked by the studio and were given a twist by recording a part of it live in Pakistan and add to the same with musicians outside Pakistan, by way of post production.

The result

Clearly communicated in their press events and in Pakistan local media, the season was expected to have 8 episodes. However, much to everyone’s surprise, after episode 5 came an abrupt announcement that it was the last episode of the season.

The hate

Not many liked the new sound because of many reasons. Some were logical (stating they missed the wholesome feel to it and so forth). What took my goat was when I heard few really stupid stuff from the so called musicians who I used to adore. Calling the producer of Coke Studio a ‘corporate douchebag’ and venting out their venomous reaction seemed kind of ‘khattey angoor’ish to me because they haven’t been invited to the Studio thus far.

Anyway, here are some really stupid ‘reasons’ doing rounds with our modest replies to them. Feel free to add your reply or questions

1.       The local musicians were ignored by collaborating with outside musicians

Yes, you are right. After all it is only Coke Studio Pakistan’s duty to put the entire country’s musicians on the world map. Everyone else can continue aping this movement and sing the same old compositions with shoddy camera work. More so, when the studio communicated right from the beginning that this time they will attempt next level of fusion by mixing their sound with foreign musicians, they should have totally ignored foreign musicians. Makes sense. Isn’t it?

2.       In one of the song, the local musicians’ footage was cut. Blasphemy!

Very sad that in the final edit the musician got edited out. Can you ask that musician to return the cheque because apparently he was looking at a TV appearance, and couldn’t make the final cut?

3.       Imagine! For listening to music we now have to see T.V.!  (click here)

Err what? Please read the point allegation number 2 above. It wasn’t supposed to be about T.V, yet people are up roaring against this? Confusing. Can you repeat the question please? This time without being in the influence of substance abuse? Thank you.

 4.       Non musician corporate douchebag shouldn’t be the project manager of such a movement.

Absolutely right. To us he looks like a failed corporate executive. I mean why give out the music for free when you can make money by selling it? Right?

Our Submission

Coke Studio Pakistan has always been about music, and the fun the band has been creating with that music. Of course, this year they went a step ahead and tried to present their music to the world at large by treating it differently with ‘foreign musicians’. We feel the season went great and was pleasantly different from what we have all accustomed ourselves whenever a mention of Coke Studio Pakistan is made. They tried something new this year, just like they tried something new when they kick started season 1. Rather than jumping up and down literally forcing them to pre-end the season and keeping us all devoid of the experiments that Coke Studio is known for, we could have allowed them to go on.

Our folk music will always be a treasure trove. The art is to produce it and arrange it in a way that it reaches maximum people. For that, sitting with a 12Kbps file will not help. Let the art out. Let it be explored. Let people mix classical with new, serious with silly…let it all flow. Somehow whatever is good will stick. That’s the beauty of art in any form.

Like we read in an article somewhere – Past all borders, music begs for us to look deeper, when understanding the idea of what is ours. Can we do that? Or is it too tough?

Rohwit

dedh-ishqiya3

This is a strange scenario. I read review after review after review, every damn possible review of Dedh Ishqiya. Just to figure out one thing – to see if anyone has written about the homage scene in the film, and the inspiration behind the film’s spoiler, or scratched it beyond the surface. And i was extremely disappointed to see that not a single reviewer has mentioned it.

They didn’t get it?

They don’t know about it?

They haven’t read it?

Just because the director didn’t tell or it wasn’t mentioned in the press release?

Because, for me, that is the highlight of the film. The smartest scene in the film. And that *is* the film too. Strange. Seems like we are reading a group of philistines who have been raised on a limited staple diet and don’t know how to read a film beyond their radar. Not that such funny things has never happened in the past, but this should straight go to FunnyOrDie section. So which scene i am talking about?

SPOILER ALERT (Don’t read further if you haven’t seen the film yet and if you hate spoilers)

In the scene where both Naseer and Arshad’s hands are tied and they are watching Madhuri and Huma having fun, getting physical. Naseer looks at Arshad and says, Lihaaf maang le. Arshad looks up and smiles. And then we see just a big shadow on the wall which suggests physical intimacy between Madhuri and Huma’s characters. That’s the homage to Ismat Chughtai’s Lihaaf. The setting, Begum, homo-eroticism, huge shadow play – the elements and the incident is the same as in Lihaaf.

That’s not all, the entire back story of Madhuri’s husband is also from the same story. And the spoiler – their relationship and her back story is the core idea of the film. Rest of it has been just built up to cover this plot. So it can be called a really smart adaptation of the short story. Much respect for the writers of the film – Darab Farooqui, Abhishek Chaubey and Vishal Bhardwaj.

So why is it such a big fuss?

1. Because it involves Ismat Chughtai – one of the most eminent, progressive and feminist Urdu writers.

2. Because it involves Lihaaf (published in 1942) – the most popular and celebrated short story by Ismat Chughtai.

3. Because Lihaaf created a big controversy. Ismat Chughtai was charged with obscenity and was summoned by the Lahore court in 1944. She went to court, refused to apologise and won the case. Click here to read a funny excerpt about the case from her memoir. And if possible, do watch Naseer’s play on the same which also includes Manto’s trial.

4. And most importantly, because it’s still relevant. Chughtai’s story dealt with homo-eroticism and lesbianism which created a huge ruckus then. And today, when we are still debating gay rights and article 377 in India, a mainstream Hindi film brings the subject on the big screen with mainstream actors, and connects it so smartly to such an important and controversial literary work, and to its history. And we have no fucking clue! Lilaah!

Strangely, it seems most reviewers didn’t even get the historical, social, or literary context. If i was the boss, i would have surely asked for some explanation, rejection, and resignation. Because what’s the point of reviewing films if one doesn’t know where one is coming from – our art, culture, literature and such an important bit of history. It’s utterly shocking and baffling to say the least. It might sound extremely snobbish, but am fine with me being accused of snobbery than being philistine, especially when we are talking about Ismat Aapa and Bhardwaj’s cinema.

– You can find the English translation of the story here or here or in the embedded link below (translation by different writers). Do read. And do remember it was published in 1942.

– Found another adaptation on the net – a short film based on the same story

– If you were born and brought up in some other planet, Ismat Chughtai’s wiki page is here.

– To know what we thought about the film, click here.

NotSoSnob

POTD : Why did YRF publish the spoiler of Dhoom:3?

Posted: January 1, 2014 by moifightclub in bollywood, POTD, Spoiler, WTF
Tags: , ,

Here’s the half page ad that was published in today’s HT Cafe of Mumbai edition.

D3

Are they done with the business of the film? No wonder it has done a great business so far and the claim in the advertisement is true too. And they are still making money. So why spoil the party for those who still haven’t seen? This is a rare thing.

For its latest box office numbers, check BOI here.

Or for that matter any bollywood film? Spoofing is a serious art and a good one needs much more than the combined acting talent of Uday Chopra, Abhishek Bachchan and Katrina Kaif. That’s a big problem with bolllywood – they don’t know how to take a joke. As me and many of my friends have faced similar situation many times in the past because of our tweets or blog posts, it’s hardly surprising anymore. Here’s the latest story. This one is about YRF and Dhoom3.

Here’s the kickass video by AIB guys which completely pwns YRF.