what we are reading – EightandHalf
Vikram Bhat goes 3D with Stereophonic sound, and Mimoh Chakraborty is Mahakshay. And it seems Mimoh, oops Mahakshay’s voice is dubbed by Vikram Bhatt.
Remember Sagar Bellary? Bheja Fry ? Dinner Game ? His next film Kaccha Limboo has been ready for quite sometime. And now it’s finally releasing.
In yesterday’s Mint Lounge I-Day Special Edition Sidin Vadukut had a piece where he argued that Twitter is better than blog. Just 140 characters, say it, over and out. But we don’t agree. What do you do when you have to make a list ? So, we are back to a post which was in drafts for long time. And what better day than I-Day to put it out.
So, here is our list of Top 10 Twitteraties who blocked us in the last one year or so. And some, for damn fcuk funny reasons. Its time to celebrate our gag order and do tell us who blocked you and for what ? In no particular order…the new members of Fight Club Hall Of Shame…read on…
1. Mahesh Bhatt – He makes us feel that Itchgaurd will never make a loss till he is alive. But he gave us some brillant movies too. He is the biggest importer of talent from across the border, at the cheapest possible rate. But we loved his book A Taste Of Life too.
This time he was tweeting about how the Copyright Bill is not good for Bollywood. We decided to burst his tweets, retweeted them with the correct facts, that how its going to stop the exploitation of lyricists, singers, composers and how they will finally be able to retain the copyright of their compositions. With no straight arguements in hand (ok, may be he was busy itching), he clicked the BLOCKED button.
2. Vikram Bhatt – If Uncle is here, can the nephew be far behind! The director delivered more than dozen duds, all in a row. But we loved the HT Cafe covers that he wrote when Khalid Mohamed was the editor there. Aha, that love story also went kaput. Back to our story.
He tweeted – Mahakshay Chakraborty is the next big thing. Whoever disagrees has something coming! And we dared to disagree. Which sane person wouldn’t ? BTW, Mahakshay is MIMOH reloaded! And when we reacted in the nasty possible way, he told us – don’t be in too much of a hurry to write someone’s obituary. You are not even what he is.
But as Arnab Goswami would put it The country wants to know, who wants to be Mimoh or Mahaskahy and why ? Tell us NOW! Not us and we don’t know anyone with such a wish. But we have to thank him, he made us bit more (in)famous!
3. Shirish Kunder – This is our favourite story! It seems he discovered Adaptation quite late and tweeted that its a brillant film written by Charlie & Donald Kaufman. We corrected him. There is nobody called Donald. He again tweeted that how Charlie & Donald Kaufman were nominated for the Oscar Award for Adaptation. We again corrected him and retweeted that Donald Kaufman doesn’t exist. And don’t expect us to be sober when we are telling you something about someone whom we consider to be the God of screenwriting. And then boom..Blocked.
BTW, we think he shot some of the songs in Jaaneman superbly. His next is JOKER with Akshay Kumar. #JGrin. Get ready for all the puns, Mr. Donald Duck!
4. Sajid Khan – Aha, the gasbag! What do you call someone who made supershits like Heyy Potty and Housedull ? Not Filmmaker for sure. We call him Pottymaker. You need some talent to make such expensive potties and make people eat it too!
The last nail in our BLOCK coffin – he tweeted that Up In The Air was boring. He could not finish the film and stopped it midway. Ooh la la. Reaction and his action! Last heard, he is MIA on Twitterverse. We have started following the fake one.
5. Suhel Seth – Nobody knows about his day job. But we all know that he is a fuckall actor (Courtesy Pooja Bhatt). Does he sleep in tv studios ? How come he is such an authoritative voice on everything…from Arundhati to Arunachal and Commonwealth Games to Chinese Cuisine ? Does he have a twin brother ? Because sometimes he is on air at 2-3 channels at the same time. HOW ? Plus, he writes Agony Uncle columns too!
Can’t find the piece now but someone wrote a feature on him and enlightened us about his day job. We retweeted it with all our genuine concerns. The Agony Uncle went BANG! We like his Agony Uncle pose though! Check out the pic here, on the top left-hand corner of the website.
6. Shatrughan Sinha – Can’t locate him on Twitter now but swear, he was there. Was tweeting about his son Luv Sinha’s Saddiyaan. Guess it was the beta tweeting on behalf of daddy dearest. Ok, so we can cover both the Sinhas together. Go check No. 7.
7. Luv Sinha – Who ? Yes, that should be the first question. But then, thats how Bollylalaland operate. Ok, here is the joke of the century. Luv Sinha has two fan clubs on twitter. Here & here. But then, he can reply in another joke – Even Uday Chopra has a fan club. Aur bolo ?Can we please have one too ? Hands up ?
As we were busy cracking Sadiyaan jokes, the baap-beta duo shouted KHAMOSH!
8. Jitesh Pillaai – Bus naam hi kaafi hai ? Ok, Test your Bolly Quotient – Tell us the name of one editor who calls Sonam Kapoor as My Shona Chona or something like that ? Well, if you edit the most expensive and glossy toilet paper in the country, guess you can do so. We were cribbing about the toilet paper for a long time and finally one day he woke up and did the good tweed of the day!
BTW, did Kalmadi order the same toilet paper from filmUNfare office for CWG? It needs lot of talent to fill so many pages, issue after issue, with so much shit! Oh yeah, finally after ages they did a nice feature recently where they got Dibakar Bannerjee, Zoya Akhtar, Shimit Amin, Anurag Kashyap and Madhur Bhandarkar together for a delicious chat. But Madhur ????
9. Sarita Tanwar – We love Mid Day for all the sleaze and the goss. But she edits the Hit List. We loved the fact that its editor Abhijit Majumder didn’t compromise his stand after his famous altercation with Amitabh Bachchan.
But how can you let anyone to rate Once Upon A Time In Mumbai 4.5/5 stars!!!?? Even more than Peepli Live and many other such films. We happily crowned her the Jackass Critic Of The Week. And there she went…chore ko toh dikhte hai sab chor!
BTW, a bitchy actress called up to say that by the weekend she was celebrating the success of OUATIM at her best friend and producer Ekta Kapoor’s party. And she makes it to our sHIT List!
10. Like all those morons who dedicate their tweets to Anupam Kher, this one is dedicated to all those nameless and faceless creatures who blocked as for all the right reasons. Go kiddos, make your list and make us more famous. We Love Hate Storys and We Are Family for sure! Aha, KJo always comes so handy! Even on I-Day!
Dhen Tedan! Its friday! And the dope is out. Dibakar Banerjee’s Love Sex Aur Dhokha. Plus Vikram Bhatt is back again and is still struggling to scare us. Sir, aapka naam hi kaafi hai ab! He has competition only from Ramu. And the third release is Lahore. First, its LSD. Click here to read our take on it.
Anupama Chopra (NDTV) – LSD falters in the second half. The second story feels too long and the last isn’t as smoothly done as the first two. But the film is a worthy experiment created by one of Bollywood’s most imaginative and original directors. Let me warn you that it is a polarizing film. You’re going to either love it or you’re going to hate it. But I strongly recommend that you don’t ignore it – 3.5/5
Rajeev Masand (CNN IBN) – In the end, Love, Sex aur Dhokha is consistently gripping, although the third story strikes me as a tad contrived. You will be shocked, you will be startled, but walking out of the theatre, you know you have just seen what is possibly the most important Hindi film since Satya and Dil Chahta Hai. Not only does it redefine the concept of “realistic cinema”, it opens a world of possibilities in terms of how you can shoot films now – 4/5
Raja Sen (Rediff) – It is, as the oft-abused phrase goes, an ‘important’ film, and one you should watch if only to acquaint yourself with the way things inevitably work. It’s bleak, bittersweet, funny and markedly unglamorous, and yet you come out humming the theme tune, your head blown clear off your shoulders. Hell yeah. Welcome to adulthood, Bollywood, can we get you another beer? – 5/5
Shubhra Gupta (IE) – It holds up an unflinching mirror to the primal screws that the world turns on, and shows us the way we are. I have one minor grouse : I wanted it to be edgier, darker, but it still took me to a place where practically no current Hindi filmmaker, barring an Anurag Kashyap or a Vishal Bharadwaj, has transported me to – 4/5
Kaveree Bamzai (India Today) – With Love Sex Aur Dhokha, he has shown how far a Rs 3 crore budget can stretch if you have ingenuity and courage. He tells the story of three intertwined couples, Rahul and Shruti, two film school students who elope with tragic consequences; Rashmi and Adarsh, who work in a store; and Mrignayana and Prabhat, a sting specialist and a wannabe star from Meerut. It’s partly hilarious, mostly sad, yes quite misogynistic but also very unusual – 4/5
Mayank Shekhar (HT) – It’s a sort of flick you ideally discover without burdens of expectation: a caveat you must bear in mind, in case you were planning on rushing off to cinemas right away. Where any Bollywood movie without a gyrating, lip-synching hero perceives itself as ‘different’, this one, from an audience’s point of view, is truly an experiment – 3.5/5
Gaurav Malani (Indiatimes) – Love Sex aur Dhokha shouldn’t be restricted with tags like experimental, offbeat, path-breaking, low-budget or multiplex cinema. While it happens to be all of these, it goes beyond with its smart story and superlative storytelling to be a brilliant and entertaining film. This autobiographical account of a camera is absolutely recommended! – 4/5
Minty Tejpal (Mumbai Mirror) – For today’s liberal, urban, rich India, Love, Sex Aur Dhokha is the new age roti, kapda aur makaan, a trio of issues that need urgent undressing, sorry, addressing. LSD is totally recommended to all adult citizens, regardless of gender or political affiliations – 4/5
Taran Adarsh (Indiafm) – On the whole, LSD is original, innovative and ground-breaking cinema, which will shock and provoke you. The film is definitely not for the faint-hearted or those who swear by stereotypical fares, but for those who yearn for a change. The youth, especially in metros, should fall hook, line and sinker for this one. The volatile title as also the explosive content should make this low-cost film [budgeted at approx. Rs. 1.5 cr.] a commercial accomplishment! – 4/5
Nikhat Kazmi (TOI) – Don’t expect time-pass entertainment. Think beyond run-of-the-mill and see how Ekta Kapoor re-invents herself as the producer of contemporary Indian cinema’s first full-blown experimental film – 3.5/5
Vikram Bhatt’s Shaapit marks the debut of Aditya Narayan. There is something really irritating about his face. Think that might easily lead to some fear factor. Lets check if it scared the critics or not.
Rajeev Masand (CNN IBN) – Horror films are meant to get your heart racing pumping. At the end of this film, you’ll have to check for your pulse – 1.5/5
Shubhra Gupta (IE) – Bhatt’s `1920’ gave us a ghastly ghost who hung upside down, and a couple of shivery moments. Practically nothing about `Shaapit’, which has the youngest looking debutant hero after Shahid Kapoor, is scary : not the bag of skeletons which floats around a 300 year old castle, not the wailing and the screeching, and the moaning and the groaning – 1/5
Taran Adarsh (Indiafm) – On the whole, SHAAPIT is truly a scary movie, which comes across as a worthy follow up to RAAZ and 1920. If you are a fan of ghost stories, SHAAPIT should be on your list of ‘things to do and watch’ this weekend. Go for it and be prepared to be spooked! – 3.5/5
Gaurav Malani (Indiatimes) – You won’t curse yourself on watching Shaapit . But then again it’s not blessed with anything extraordinary – 2.5/5
Nithya Ramani (Rediff) – There are some genuinely frightening scenes that will make you jump off your seat. Those looking for chills won’t be disappointed – 4/5
Nikhat Kazmi (TOI) – The film works not so much due to its story. Rather, it’s the way Vikram Bhatt tells his story — with a certain polish and pizzazz — that draws you in. Also, it’s Pravin Bhatt’s multi-hued cinematography which adds a lyrical quality to the film – 3/5
And the third release of the week is Lahore. Directed by Sajay Puran Singh Chauhan, it stars Farooque Shaikh, Saurabh Shukla and Sushant Singh.
Shubhra Gupta (IE) – The recently-released `Invictus’ gave us the true story of how Nelson Mandela used rugby to cement ties between blacks and whites in post-apartheid South Africa. `Lahore’ uses another sport–kick-boxing– to suggest how India and Pakistan can come together, but to much less effect – 2/5
Rajeev Masand (CNN IBN) – It’s well-intentioned, has its heart in the right place, and it’s an engaging enough watch. But it never rises above that to become a film that could truly make a difference – 2.5/5
Minty Tejpal (Mumbai Mirror) – Lahore is a decent effort, a sports film with a political backdrop, both genres being a relative rarity in Bollywood. However, if it had been 20 minutes shorter, with clearer purpose, less dialogue and tighter direction, Lahore could have been a good film – 2/5
Kaveree Bamzai (India Today) – It’s a film that could have done with less length and more effort to find a better lead. Fewer cliches too. But for anyone who likes the crunching of bones, the slam of fists into each other and the twisting of muscle, go right ahead. Make your day – 2.5/5
Sukanya Verma (Rediff) – Though limited in its story-telling and undistinguished in execution, Lahore redeems itself somewhat by intently playing on the paradox of pacifist intentions realised in the face of a seriously hostile sport – 2.5/5
Nikhat Kazmi (TOI) – Lahore tells a fiery story, gently and lyrically and is embellished with some great cinematography (Neelabh Kaul) and action choreography in the kickboxing sequences (Tony Ching Siu Tung). But most of all, it boasts of a stellar act by the performers with Farouque Sheikh walking away with most of your applause as the genteel Hyderabadi who must train a team of winners, despite political and bureaucratic interference – 3.5/5
Gaurav Malani (Indiatimes) – With a perfectly predictable plotline, if a film still keeps you riveted through its runtime, you know there’s something earnestly right about it. Lahore has a right director. Sanjay Puran Singh Chauhan has the finesse to package the standard story with the requisite action and intensity that a sports film demands – 3/5
Roshmila Bhattacharya (HT) – Even though a Pakistani kickboxer has a hand to play, literally, in the story’s shocking turnaround, there’s no attempt to get into jingoistic spiel or whip up pop patriotism. So Pakistan’s decision to ban the film comes as a surprise. Lahore is not without its flaws but it still leaves you wanting to punch the air! – 3/5
Taran Adarsh (Indiafm) – On the whole, LAHORE is a small little gem that takes you by surprise and catches you completely unaware. The finale in the boxing ring itself is worth the price of the ticket and more. I suggest, you make time for this one – 3.5/5
Guess its not difficult to figure out whats the film to catch this weekend. Go dope! And if you can, do watch Umesh Kulkarni’s marathi film Vihir.
The honeymoon is not only over but it seems it has left bitter aftertaste too! With Khalid Mohamed and so many mean bones in his body, any outing will surely get acidic! To be honest, we love his writing. Its Mean Mohamed Steet!It would be killer only if he could keep his personal agenda out of his writing!
Now to REWIND. Vikram Bhatt & Khalid Mohamed (KM), the two came together to start aslibaat.com after Khalid Mohamed was fired from Hindustan Times (HT). Reason – recession. cost cut down. Asli reason – Rumour is Big B pulled all the possible big strings to get KM out because he and his family was under continous attack from Madhu Mottu & Under Honey’s Hat (KM’s popular gossip column), almost everyday, in HT’s Cafe supplement.
On the other hand, Vikram Bhatt, once the next big thing, lost it and how. Delivered duds after duds, more than a dozen in a row and had stars runing far far away from him with every new release. When KM was with HT, Vikram started writing a weekly column for HT Cafe. Wrote some great cover stories too, on the weird ways of the place called Bollywood. Unlike others, completely candid and unpretentious! Loved it! But when KM was sacked, VB was also out.
With Aslibaat.com going on track, VB was suppose to produce KM’s next film titled Rutba, based on the story of his stepbrother Hukam Singh. But because of some differences, both decided to go separate ways. Now KM is out of aslibaat also.
KM went back to Passionforcinema.com where he had started a blog diary sometime back. In the post titled Question of my Rutba, he wrote….
Towards the end of last year, there came an opportunity to finally narrate the Hukam Singh story as a film. The script was demanding, many of its scenes like confessionals to a church father. I was satisfied with the result, my producer Vikram Bhatt wasn’t. He rightly pointed out that it was far too internalised. I agreed. After four more drafts, both he and I were gung-ho. We had done it.
Then it came to the casting, the music, the basic essentials. That was on. Then there were snafus which are often inevitable in the process of filmmaking. Rutba was ‘routed’ as Mid-day put it, the intro said that the film had been shelved.
You can read the full post here. And reacting to the reports in media, Vikram Bhatt wrote on his blog….
Also in today’s newspaper Khalid Mohamed says that he is not making ‘Rutba’ for my company because he is tired of waiting for the film to start and that I was interfering in the script and the music of his film. I can only laugh at that comment and luckily I said nothing in response but what I did not say was that I was the only one in the entire film industry who was willing to make a film with him and with me gone Khalid Mohamed has lost his last chance to make a film. I feel really sad for him and the person that he his and would wish for him to find peace and happiness that eludes him. He says that he was the one who opted out of making the film; I will grant him that last scrap of self-respect that he is clamoring for with that statement though I have his e-mails that say quite another story. Let it be.
Cant find the full post by Vikram but the interesting bit is quoted here. BTW, VB was referring to this report in Mid-day.
Now Vikram Bhatt plans to continues his aslibaat without KM and KM has started a new blog. The link is http://khalidsspot.blogspot.com/.
F.i.g.h.t C.l.u.b 