F.i.g.h.t C.l.u.b

Like the last few years, we are back with the wrap-up post of the year – things we discovered at the movies and the unanswered questions.

20 Things we discovered at the movies

1. Emraan Hashmi CAN act. From lips-that-have-kissed-every-co-star to buck teeth, this was the transition of the year.

2. A Don who asks for “permishan” and cries like a baby. He must be the one who goes to Mumbai, becomes “Mumbai Ka King”, but when he comes home, he gets slapped by his wife.

3. Kids as Kids – the charming Gattu and Sridevi’s son. Dear Balki, you don’t need to make them “sexy” or kill them. Ask Gauri.

4. Ranbir Kapoor doesn’t even need dialogues. At a time when every hero is going for southern remakes loaded with seeti-wala punch lines, he goes in the opposite direction. Barfi!

5. Raj Kumar Yadav is poor man’s Ranbir Kapoor. And i say this with much respect. Apologies if it sounds condescending. Unlike others he has no qualms about appearing in small roles (GoW2, Talaash, Chittagong) but he has so much honesty in his performance that he always leaves a mark. Wait till you see Shahid, you will feel he is Shahid Azmi. So betting my money on this guy.

6. All About My Mother – English Vinglish. Gauri’s Mother. Lyricist Swanand’s mom Neelambari voicing navrai majhi. Vicky Donor’s mom and her mother-in-law.

7. We were wrong about Tigmanshu Dhulia. See point no. 8 in our 2011 post. Plus, he is a terrific actor.

8. Pregnancy before marriage is a blockbuster idea. Kahaani. Vidya Balan.

9. “Slow and Steady” Raghvan can also go wrong. But Raabta has great repeat value.

10. Cliches can be fun too. We define our “cliches” and there’s a way to get it right. Punju. Bong. Marriage. Vicky Donor.

11. Sharman Joshi is not the next Shah Rukh Khan as VVC and company would have liked the world to believe. Also, VVC, Hirani and Co have started talking more about writing than the actual writing they do. Ferrari Ki Sawari.

12. A Don in his bare minimum can become the eye-candy for a bangalan. Talk about reverse commodification. Far far away from the days when gaon ki gori would go to the kuwan to pani bharo and get cheroed.

13. Deepika Padukone can act. Cocktail.

14. We knew nobody can beat Bhai-porn. Add Bhabi and you have the “Fastest 100 crore” orgasm – in just 5 days. Aditya Chopra knows where the money is.

15. Prakash Jha is the new Madhur Bhandarkar.

16. It took as more than two decades to prove Mohnish Behl and Sooraj Barjatya wrong. Ek Ladka aur ek ladki finally dost ho sakte hain. Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu.

17. Your friendly LIC agent can be a closet serial killer. Irony could not have been more delicious. Bob Biswas.

18. Sehar was an accident. Kabir Kaushik scores his hattrick – Chamku, Hum Tum Aur Ghost and Maximum this year.

19. Rab will make the jodi but Jesus will break it – Aditya Chopra’s Filmy Funda No. 786.

20. Aditya Chopra exists. Saw him at the last rites of Yash Chopra.

10 Unanswered Questions

1. Who thought you can “Go For Gold” with Abhishek Bachchan, Sonam Kapoor, Bipasha Basu, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Bobby Deol, Omi Vaidya, Sikander Kher? Red and White Bravery Award nomination please.

2. What were they trying to do in Aiyyaa?

3. If it’s neither sequel nor franchise, what do you call them? Same name, new numbers. Bhatts? Murder/Raaz/Jism/Jannat – 2,3,4,5…..infinity.

4. Ekk Deewana kyun Tha?

5. What was Madhavan’s weight in Jodi Breakers? Especially when he goes underwater in his suit and is surrounded by bikini babes all round.

6. Why did Gulshan Devaiya say yes to “Hate Story”?

7. Who is still giving money to RGV to make films whatever-you-want-to-call-them?

8. What will be Madhur Bhandarkar’s next?

9. Did Aamir Khan count the average number of tears he shed in each episode of Satyamev Jayate?

10. Finally, Has Ishq In Paris released? (PS – Preity’s name is Ishq in the film)

Do let us know about the things that you discovered at the movies this year and the questions that baffled you.