F.i.g.h.t C.l.u.b

It’s that time of the year again. And like ever year, we are starting our Rewind (year end post) series. So we (the usual suspects who contribute here) sat together, poured some drinks, discussed, poured some more, fought, pondered, poured some more, looked back, debated, poured some more, and concluded the 20 things which we learnt at the movies this year. Also, 13 questions that baffled us all through the year.

This was our 2012 list. At first glance, Deepika Padukone and Tigmanshu Dhulia have made it to the list again.

1. Deepika is Padu-Khan – 4 blockbusters. From just a beautiful face with weird ghataan accent and shaky acting chops to commanding the screen with her presence and talent, this has been quite a marathon.

2. Vacuous Versova – The film filmmaker made Versova world famous on FB and Twitter. It started here, and made headlines here.

3. Kahe ki tu hi hauw…..Hum tohre bin ab rah na sakiley….Jaani tui soodhuyee…saathi tui soodhuyee….Confused? Here.

4. Nawazuddin might be the flavour of the season, but Irrfan Khan is still the baap. Saajan Fernandes of The Lunchbox, Wali Khan of D-Day and Umber Singh of Qissa – those eyes that stare blankly into space should be counted as a school of acting. If he is pledging his eyes to be donated after death, they should go to a film/acting school for further research.

5. The password for script of Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola was the colourful abuse used in the film. GUESS.

6. Tigmanshu Dhulia is the most unreliable director. He swings from one extreme to other. On the scale of burn-the-reels-of-Shagird to awe-fucking-some-terrific-Paan- Singh-Tomar, he can fluctuate anywhere.

7. To be completely politically incorrect and if you can pardon this look-ist tweet, the rickshaw-walla-dikhne-wala-south-ka-hero can deliver a hit in Bollywood- Raanjhanaa.

8. Sonakshi Sinha CAN act. Lootera. Now, if only someone tells this girl that life and cinema exists beyond filthy remakes of South films or regressive masala overdose. Dabangg, Rowdy Rathore, Joker, Son Of Sardar, Dabangg2, Once Upon A Time In Mumbai Dobara, Bullett Raja, R…Rajkumar – nobody has ever been so consistent in picking up the same desi buxom bimbo roles again and again.

9. Aaloo bhaath, moordi bhaath in Badtameez Dil. Thanks to Amitabh Bhattacharya for getting these in Bollywood dictionary. Ask your bengali friends to explain.

10. Shah Rukh Khan needed a Rohit Shetty film. The theatrical trailer had the full filmography of Shetty.

11. “Sex and Shah Rukh Khan always sells” is passe. Sex with Shilpa Shukla sold. B.A Pass.

12. Northern-isation of Prakash Raj is complete. He played the villain opposite Deol paaji in Singh Saab Sunny Paaji The Great.

13. Motormouth Sajid Khan finally fell flat on his face. And has gone into hiding since Himmatwala crashed faster than the rate at which he abuses critics.

14. Uday Chopra says good bye to (his non existing) acting career. At least as a profession.

15. You can convert Chetan Bhagat’s unreadable book into a good film. Kai Po Che!

16. ABCD – Any Body Can Dance. AFCBH – Any Film Can Become Hit. Latest one : ABCD – A for Aao re aao, B for Bhaao na khaao, C se Chilla ke gaao, D se Daaru peete jaao. AACSKMP – Aao And Can Someone Kill Me Please.

17. Aftab Shivdasani, Vivek Oberoi and Ritesh Deshmukh have delivered one of the biggest hits of the year. DIGEST.

18. Milap Zaveri saved all his money on rent because he spent the entire year at Gaiety-Galaxy getting hard on watching audience’s reaction to Grand Masti and Shootout At Wadala. Also, every show was house full, on every show people danced, threw coins, and left cum on the seats. (courtesy – Milap’s live tweeting)

19. Tagore + Acid = Tasher Desh. Who would have thought? Q is the A.

20. Sona Spa is Inception redux. No, we are not joking. It’s the definitive cult film of this generation. If you haven’t seen it yet, WATCH.

13 Unanswered Questions

1. Where is Rajeev Khandelwal?

2. What was Hansal Mehta smoking post Dil Pe Mat Le Yaar and pre-Shahid?

3. What’s the final box office collection of Chennai Express and Krrish 3?

4. Who earned the real Jackpot – Kaizad Gustad, Naseeruddin Shah or Sunny Leone? This is the only good thing about acting aspirations of rich kids.

5. what’s R…..?

6. What did the FFI committee see in The Good Road?

7. How did Ramaiyya Vastavaiyya make more money than D-Day and better TRP than most films? And it seems to be true.

8. What’s the real Milkha Singh story? Here

9. Why KRK is the last man standing with balls of steel giving out the right box office numbers?

10. Why is Raj Kumar Yadav (Rajkummar Rao or whatever he has become now) not a bigger star? who else can match up to his acting chops in the new generation?

11. Who directed Dabangg? Yes, that was 2010. But Besharam is 2013.

12. What murabba has Kashyap fed to Bachchan and KJo?

13. Were they really spoofing Bachchan as a chimpanzee in Yamla Pagla Deewana 2? Why Dharam paaji with Chimpanzee?

What have you learnt or discovered at the movies this year, do let us know in the comments. Also, if you have more questions or answer to any of our questions.