Archive for July 1, 2011

If Rangan can, why can’t we? So, here it is. All in bullet points.

  • Dil Chahta Hai released in 2001 and this year marks the 10th anniversary of the film. My friend Kartik Krishnan is among those counted few who doesn’t like the film. First grudge – three guys who don’t even say bhainchod. Not even once. While the rest of us claimed it to be new bollywood’s coming of age film, KK still believes DCH is NOT us. Delhi Belly scores there at least. It took 10 years for three friends to come together and say bhainchod. Oops, three came for Rock On and three more are coming soon for ZNMD too. But that’s trilogy from Farhan Akhtar brand of cool and confused characters’ coming of age without the cuss words .
  • In order of their appearance – Fucking, fucker, balls, dick, chooth, bainchod, bastard, fuck, chootiye, gaand, asshole, dumbfuck, teri maa ki, bhosdike, gaand marane.  I hope these words are not new in your cusstionary and you don’t giggle every time someone says balls. Because in Delhi Belly, it’s all there. Seems I missed “thevidiya” – tamil word for whore.
  • So what’s your mother tongue? And is it the same as the language you speak everyday? No, right? Well, that’s the case with most of us. English is not a phunny language any more, desi characters talking in English is phunny. Or at least bollywood made it phunny. Add Rahul Bose and it’s super funny. Remember Before The Rains? Delhi Belly scores here too. The film is in Hinglish, which seems natural for a film like this, and the actors are comfortable in it. No accent too. Like us, they walk, talk and sleep in Hinglish without any kind of baggage.
  • No interval. This is about 96mins long. But since we contribute to the revenue more via cold drinks and popcorn, am sure the theater will keep on reminding you about this. Buy, buy, buy. Not every producer can demand a no-interval screening. And even if they demand, nobody will care to listen. With Aamir, it’s a different game. You Don’t Mess With Aamir. Nobody will say it but that’s the truth. Even for Dhobi Ghaat he managed to screen the film without interval. A refreshing change, hopefully others will follow soon, and hopefully we will still keep on contributing to coke, samosa and popcorn so that the theater revenue doesn’t go down.
  • And the movie? 3 guys, 2 girlfriends, 1 husband, his ex-wife and 1 Don along with some really good character actors in small roles. Stool sample and diamond pack gets mixed up, lots of confusion and farts of every possible kind, some cuss words, few kisses and bhag D K Bose. It’s nothing that you haven’t seen before but in a country where it’s difficult to think of one good film which released in the last six months and has repeat value, even a timepass entertainer scores high.
  • Shehnaz Treasurywala has lost her “wala” but her treasury is very much intact. She is still selling “peek-a-boo-b”. Remember MTV’s Most Wanted where she would come close to camera, bend a little and you could feast your eyes? Well, she does the same in at least 2 scenes.
  • For a person with a weak tummy, the farting sounds were really uncomfortable that kept on reminding me that I might need a loo break soon. Luckily i survived.
  • If you are looking for layers, I would suggest you go for Buddah Hoga Terra Baap which should be having layers and layers of make-up.
  • Is it the same Abhinay Deo who directed Game? Again Aamir Khan will walk away with the credit.
  • Dear Cunnilingus, welcome to Bollywood. No, knowing you doesn’t make us look cool but it just validates your existence. Good luck on the debut. Hope you survive.
  • Dear Akshat Verma, hopefully you get to direct your next one. I know you wanted to direct this one.
  • Shock value? That’s just the marketing pitch, there is nothing shocking if you have been to Chan-Wook Park’s school of incestous studies. or even if you know Lars Von Trier.
  • 90minutes. No songs (Ok, almost no songs). No interval. Adults only.  It works. Watch it.

(PS – Was there more to Vir Das’ love story? Chop-chop at Khan’s editing table?)