Archive for April 10, 2012

Among many other things, his twitter bio includes a distinct aspiration – future porn filmmaker. And as we wish him all the best for it, who better than writer-filmmaker Suparn Verma to look back into Bollywood’s past which might have triggered off this aspiration of his. So here’s Bollywood’s Rape-O-Meter according to him. Read on.

Rape is an ugly word of a horrible and cowardly act.

But in Bollywood especially in the 70’s and 80’s it was actually considered as necessary as an item number.

The movie pitch went something like this ‘Sirji, Introduction of hero on a dark night, he saves the heroine from being raped and beats up 10 goons,  3 romantic songs, 1 religious song, 1 sad song and 1 item number, 4 action scenes, and Sir beat this our film will have not 1! Not 2! But 3 rape scenes!’

Why did we need those scenes?

Two reasons in my opinion. Firstly in those days the skin code was unimaginable, so only the vamp or the victim could show skin, even the heroine had to be shown as a bitch in a swimsuit before she was reformed by the man into a salwar or sari clad socially acceptable ‘bhartiya nari’.

Secondly, all action films followed a simple formula almost as if it was a game called Screw-the-hero!

So the villains would start by raping the bhabi and killing her husband, and putting the hero behind bars for the crime. In his absence his sister would be raped as well and his parents killed. The wife would be saved for the second act whereupon his release he would get one more romantic song with her before she too was raped and killed and then the hero would be tortured till the vamp let him out and he would take on the entire crew of villains beating them up as he would make each punch count.

Yeh meri abla bhabhi ke liye’ DISHOOM ‘Yeh mere bhai ke liye’ DISHOOM ‘Yeh meri behen ke liye’ DISHOOM ‘yeh mere bhoode maa-baap ke liye’ DISHOOM ‘yeh meri biwi aur uske pet ke andar panap rahe bacche ke liye’ DISHOOM! And then came the final blow ‘aur yeh insaniyat ke dushman tujhe jeene ka koi haq nahin….yeh….mere liye’ DISHOOM

But as the filmmakers tried and found new ways to create those item rape scenes, they actually invented a new form of comedy.

Truly! You would exclaim, how can such a disgusting act be made funny!

I will show you how today.

But before that I have to share certain statistics a fellow Bollywood fan and amateur statistician had put up on the net. I call it the Bollywood Villains Rape-o-Meter.

Top lining the gang of Rapists is

Rapist No. 1 – Prem Chopra with 250 rapes in his career….to quote the man the legend ‘Mera naam hai Prem….Prem Chopra

Rapist No. 2 – Ranjeet with 150 rapes comes close. This man ruled the rape scene from 1970-1985

Rapist No. 3 – Danny Denzongpa has 110+ rape scenes to his credit. The reason why these guys also make it to the top is because in the 70’s and 80’s even the villains would be multi-starrers, so the above three or some combinations would indulge in group rapes so that they all could be killed in 10 minute intervals in the second half.

Rapist No. 4 – Shakti Kapoor with over 80 rapes to his credit

Rapist No. 5 – Amjad Khan with over 30+ rapes to his screen credit, in 1981 every film he acted in had a rape scene.

Rapist No. 6 – The original Bad Man of Hindi cinema – Gulshan Grover, with over 22+ rape scenes to his credit.

The others in this infamous list include The Lion – Ajit (12), Amrish Puri (9), Premnath (3), Rehman (7), Om Puri (6), the awesome Jeevan (6), Ruppesh Kumar never got a solo rape scene but only participated in a group (5), Kiran Kumar (4), K N Singh (3), Madan Puri (2) and finally Mac Mohan (1).

Presenting to you today are the funniest rape scenes from Bollywood. Let me prepare you for the climatic one. It is from Manoj Kumar’s cult movie Clerk!

To kick things off we have Ranjeet enacting the famous Bollywood group rape scene with quotable gems being spouted by them

On the subject of rapes, it is a very interesting fact to note that the ethereal Poonam Dhillon left the industry after her career got into this cycle of being raped in every second film. This scene is Bollywood creators favourite setting! A dark night, stock shots of lightning and rain and the rapists laughing like hyenas

Ever wanted to see how a date rape could kill you?…laughing I mean? Gullubhai will show you how it’s done in this howlarious sequence

While we are on the subject of Gulshan Grover, this one has him playing the flute to Divya Bharti, in a getup that screams I am gonna rape you, but still the lamb-like Bharti gets in the vanity van.

One of my all time favourites with Shakti Kapoor and Anita Raaj. Did you know that she ended her career by being raped by Shakti Kapoor in 6 films in a row! This one has her tried to a fake wall actually asking ‘What are you doing?’

I know I promised you the most funny rape scene ever! Well this one is from Manoj Kumar’s Clerk, where the 100 year old Bharat Kumar plays a college student! He also manages to do the impossible – make Rekha look like a skunk – I do mean a skunk not a skank!!! If you don’t believe me check out that hideous wig or head gear long with the make-up. But coming back to the matter at hand…it has Omshiv Puri raping….once again Anita Raaj. One piece of advise, when you hear these six words again…RUN….’Sweety, Sweety, Sweety..Baby, Baby, Baby’

The 5th Documentary and Short Film Festival of Kerala will be held in the capital city Kerala ,Thiruvananthapuram (formely known as Trivandrum) from the 8th to 12th June 2012. The festival, a unique venture in India is being organized by the Kerala State Chalachitra Academy for the Dept of Cultural Affairs, Govt of Kerala as part of its endeavor to catalyse a vibrant documentary and short film movement.


The festival will have :

A. National Competition Section under the following categories:

1) Long Documentary (over 40mts)

2) Short Documentary

3) Short Fiction (under 70mts)

4) Animation

5) Music Videos

B. Campus films competition for films produced by students from Educational Institutions above Higher Secondary level based in Kerala:

1) Short Fiction works 20min and less.

C. National and International non-competitive sections with the following categories.

1) Long Documentary Section (over 40mts)

2) Short Documentary Section

3) Short Fiction section (under 70mts)

4) Public Interest spots

5) Music Videos

6) Animation Films

7) Student Productions (Director must provide proof of being a bonafide student)

– There will also be specially curated sections focusing on issues, themes, countries and the works of filmmakers. The programme will also include Interaction/Workshop Sections with Media and Professionals from all over India.

DEADLINE: Last Date for receiving the Completed Entry form and preview material is30th April 2012.


A. There will be a National Level competition for long documentaries, short documentaries, Animation and short fiction films produced in India between May 1st 2011 and 30th April 2012. The following awards will be given:

a) Best Long Documentary (40mts and above) with a cash prize of Rs 1.00 lakh and a certificate.

b) Best Short Documentary (under 40mts) with a cash prize of Rs. 50,000/ and a certificate

c) Best Short Fiction (under 70mts) with a cash prize of Rs. 50,000/ and a certificate

d) Best Animation with a cash prize of Rs. 25,000/ and a certificate.

e) Best Music Video with a cash prize of Rs. 25,000/ and a certificate

– Navroze Contractor Award for the Best Documentary Cameraman: Rs. 10,000/

B. Campus films competition for films produced by students from Educational Institutions above Higher Secondary level based in Kerala:

– There will be a competition for short fiction films for bonafide students studying within Kerala .The films will have to be 20min or under in duration and produced between Jan 1st 2011 and 30th April 2012 . The director of the film has to be above 18years at the time of production. The jury will award the following prizes:

i) Best Campus Film (20min and below) with a cash prize of Rs. 20,000/ and a  certificate to the creative team.

RULES & REGULATIONS (for competitive sections):

1) Eminent Juries will be appointed by the Kerala State Chalachitra Academy .No person with any involvement in the films will be present on the Jury.

2) Only films produced in India or with one Indian Director are eligible for the National level competition. All films participating in the competition have to present either a certificate from the Board of Film Certification or a signed notarized affidavit on Rs 50/ Stamp paper by the person entering the film that the film has been completed between May 1st 2011 and 30th April 2012 (both days inclusive)

3) Campus Films have to be made by students who were registered students at the time of the production of the film, in an educational institute above Higher Secondary level located within Kerala. The films have to be short fiction of under 20min duration. The films have to be produced between Jan 1st 2011 and 30th April 2012 (both days inclusive) .The age of the Director has to be above 18yrs at the time of production. A certificate from the Educational Institution stating both the above is required.

4) Films must be available for festival screening on one of the following formats : DV, Beta SP/PAL, 35mm

5) A selection committee appointed by the Kerala State Chalachitra Academy will select films for the screening in the competition and non competitive sections.

6) A director or production company may enter more than one film, provided a separate entry form accompanies each film.

7) No films as works in progress will be accepted. A film once entered cannot be re-entered in the competition.

7) Only selected films will be intimated by email. No letters of non- acceptance will be sent. All lists will be available on the website by 20th May 2012

8) Directors of films in competition will be invited to attend the festival with 2 Class AC Train fare and hospitality during the festival.

9) All non English-speaking projects must have English subtitles.

10) The Director of the festival has the power to include any film at his discretion.


Secretary, Kerala State Chalachitra Academy, Mani Bhavan, Sasthamangalam Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala –


CONTACT : Ph – 0091-4712310323. Fax -0091-4712310322. Email –

For more information, please visit or or direct link to the page is here.

Tip : Sumit Purohit