KAUFMAN - "Or cramming in sex, or car chases, or guns. Or characters learning profound life lessons. Or characters growing or characters changing or characters learning to like each other or characters overcoming obstacles to succeed in the end. Y'know ? Movie shit."
Kaufman is sweating like crazy now. Valerie is quiet for a moment - from "Adaptation".
We are all about CINEMA. That movie shit.
NOTHING is sacred.
NOBODY is spared.
Because we talk about films, dammit.
Not your sex life.
Films, fests, unsung, indies, undiscovered - all that and some fun. If you have dope on anything related to cinema or you would like to share something, do write to us at moifightclub@gmail.com.
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This was suppose to be a private conversation. Screenwriter & lyricist Varun Grover wrote something for Pavan Jha and mailed it to few of us. Loved it, and think am good in convincing (or call it threatening) people, and so, putting it as a post here. By the way, if you know Pavan Jha, you will get the context. And if you don’t know him, then you must. For everything thats hindi film music, Pavan knows it all. He also run the website http://www.gulzaronline.com/, and as friend once joked, if it’s a quiz on Gulzar, may be he wouldn’t know all the answers but Pavan will.
पवन जी के जन्मदिन पर, एक छोटी सी कोशिश…
*************
मुसाफिरखाना
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जब कोई गीत बन रहा होगा,
किसी स्टूडियो में, १९५० के आस-पास,
(जहाँ नौशाद साब होंगे माँझा पकड़े, और रफ़ी साब पतंग उड़ा रहे होंगे)
या उसके २० साल बाद भी,
(पंचम और गुलज़ार शीशे के इस पार बैठे, आशा जी और ‘शीशे में आशा जी की
परछाई’ को साथ साथ देखते)
उसे नहीं पता होगा आके जुड़ेगा एक दिन,
वो एक ऐसे खजाने में,
जहाँ उसके साथ होंगे, कई और स्टूडियो,
कई और साज़ और उन्हें बजाने वाले,
कई नामी, कई गुमनाम,
शब्द-सुर-टेम्पो…
और साथ होंगे,
कई किस्से, उनके बनने के, खोने के, फिर मिल जाने के,
उनके बनाने वालों के, पागलपने के,
किसी तूफानी रात में, किसी शहर की सड़क पर, कोने में,
उनके चुपचाप पड़े पाए जाने के,
जनमने के, दफनाते दफनाते बचा लिए जाने के,
आप पवन जी हैं वो जगह,
जैसे एक पूरा नया देश…या एक सराय..
सिर्फ अलग-अलग स्टूडियो से निकले,
दुनिया घूम कर आये गीतों की…
कई बरस बज कर, थक कर,
उनके आराम करने का मुसाफिरखाना,
जहाँ हर गीत, भले ही वो पूरी बाजू वाला हो,
या थोड़ा सा लंगड़ा,
बेधड़क आता है…
बैठता है, सुस्ताता है,
मुसाफिरखाने के बाकी राहगीरों से बतियाता है,
या खुद ही खुद में, शौकिया, गुनगुनाता है…
कह नहीं सकते, कितने गीत हैं,
जो आजतक मुसाफिरखाने से गुज़रे हैं,
किसी ने गिना नहीं आज तक,
लेकिन ये तय है कि,
हर गीत हिंदुस्तान का,
गुज़रा ज़रूर है.
Subrat, who ? If you know him, great. If not, Kartik Krishnan has an intro for him – He is The Guru-Mahaguru encyclopedia of film knowledge, pop (and other) culture, literature connoisseur from the Raymond Chandlers, Oscar Wildes to Ibn-e-Saafis, and expert on music, quizzing, food & alcohol (One would think in that order). Unlike most professors, his musings on cinema are non pedantic and yet rich with layers of subtle meaning (and humor). And as he says himself – he’s more a consumer than producer of creative output. He’s even introduced us to two of his legendary colleagues. Prof ATM Yadav – whom KRK so shamelessly copied saying , “Yadav kabhi Bhikhari nahi hota, hamesha raja hota hai raja“. And Prof Arthashastri. We do hope to see both of them soon. And if you thought that’s all the man does, his day job has nothing to do with any of his aforementioned passions.
Woohoo! Quite a long one! And since the intro has managed to over-hype the author, please read on….
It was an opening sequence that filled me with dread. A tiny sapling being planted into the soil by a female hand soon to be trampled over by an insensitive passerby. Was this “Rabbit Hole” or will I now espy a Guru Dutt sprawled in a park morosely observing the world go by? Is this Pyaasa with the oft talked about symbolic opening sequence of a bee hovering over flowers in an ‘all’s well with the world’ sort of a manner till a surprisingly careless foot precisely squashes it away? Thankfully, that was a minor aberration in Rabbit Hole as it went on to depict a heartrending yet understated story of loss and longing. Pyaasa, on the other hand, for all its hallowed position in the classics of Indian cinema, would go onto show an overwought story of poet who riles against this soulless world with barely a nod to subtlety barring Sahir’s poetry. Maybe I am being harsh to Pyaasa. In my opinion it was the subtler of the Guru Dutt films and it showcased his limited acting abilities rather well. The rest of Guru Dutt ‘tragic’ oeuvre has often left me wondering. When it comes to raw display of emotions, why do we love going over the top and then staying there. As the lawyer pleads NOKJ – kab tak chhat pe rahega. Ab to neeche aaja.
And, this is Guru Dutt – widely held to be one of our more understated filmmakers.
I have lost my appetite for melodrama. As more life happens to me (as opposed to I seeing more life), I realize nothing dramatic happens in ordinary life. And, nothing dramatic happens in things around ordinary lives. The background score to our lives is the drone of the whirring fan above our heads. You will be lucky to discern melody there if you hear closely and start humming to it. But, trust me, there’s no Salilda doing an Anand in that drone. But, why has this discovery eluded our filmmakers who claim to show ordinariness in our lives? Or, why do we as audience love melodrama so much that it is a ‘fix’ we need in every movie watching experience?
These are questions that crop up in my mind as I see the audience reactions around me on No One Killed Jessica. Admittedly, the film fell short of my expectations – an inconsistent screenplay, an over the top Rani and a poor supporting cast. However, what surprised me was the commonest reason cited for disappointment – the way the movie closed. Apparently, there wasn’t enough drama; a spectacular last reel of monologue, rousing emotions and the deliverance to all of us who invested our emotions in Sabrina.
We must love melodrama dearly to expect such a denouement and then be bitter about not finding it. Why do over the top portrayals win our hearts and then the awards? How does one bear Rani Mukerji in Black? Or, why should the last sequence of Sadma be so iconic? In my mind it spoils an, otherwise, remarkably restrained film. Or, take Dilip Kumar’s shtick through the decade of the 60s. How was it great acting? And, since I am getting these things off my chest, let me not forget the cringeworthy Karishma throwing stones into the lake while cursing her creator in Dil To Pagal Hai and finding a Filmfare and a National Award being thrown at her in return for display of such histrionics.
The reason I am often given is a version of ‘we are like this only’. That we love our emotions, the rona-dhona and our movies reflect them. I find this hard to accept. Firstly, we are not the most emotionally expressive race. I am sure the Italians, Spaniards or the Latinos will concur. Secondly, the arts that precede filmmaking like theatre and literature hardly betray any signs of our future love affair with melodrama. Read Premchand, Tagore or even the relatively pedestarian Devdas (that marker in melodramatic history of Hindi cinema). You will be surprised by the restraint, by what’s left unsaid. Even the early years of Hindi cinema rarely had the protagonist declaiming for long periods on social ills or the mythical mother with her gajar ka halwa.
So, where did we go wrong? I don’t know. May be the answer lies in the transformation of Dilip Kumar from a genuine brooding actor in intense portrayals in the early 1950s to a caricature of the ‘tragedy king’ that lazy directors made out of him in the 1960s. Is it any surprise that the most restrained of the directors of that era, Bimal Roy, didn’t direct Dilip Kumar after late 50s? And, once you had accepted Gunga Jumna, Dil Diya Dard Liya or Aadmi as great dramatic performances, how far is Rajendra Kumar banging the door down in Dil Ek Mandir and Manoj Kumar grating on and on about Indian culture in Purab Aur Paschim. Follow that linear process and you will reach Sunny Deol with a handpump and Shah Rukh Khan’s quivering lips in Devdas. And,eventually, to the million TV serials where each emotion is amped up a million times with the camera going berserk being lapped up by millions of us.
There have been signs of improvement though. Movies like Johnny Gaddar, Oye Lucky, Kaminey and, lately, Udaan, all had great drama without going over the top. Just as I was letting a sigh of relief, I find everyone around me sorely missing that dramatic closure in NOKJ. And, then I saw the Ra.One poster. Out went subtlety through the window.
One more film awards ? NO! But we are different. SO ? Everyone says so! Am sure that must be the initial reaction after you read the header of the post. But just give me few minutes and let me try to explain it once. If you like it, great. And if not, that’s ok.
Ask yourself –
Q. Do you have any respect for any of the current hindi film awards ?
Q. Do you even know how they are selected ? Who votes for whom and who is selected how ?
Q. Do you remember who won what awards in which year ?
If answers to all the questions are in negative, and if you are branded as a cynic for wondering why we don’t have a single credible film awards in the country, then let’s join hands and try to do something.
Honestly, we all know that the film awards in our country are just “tv shows”. The tv shows needs TRPs and so they need stars. Event companies get involved, they are asked to get the stars, and its all about the negotiation power of the star. Every year new categories are added to suit the need of the “star”. Debutant, Best comic role, Best villain , Best Jodi of the year, Best Jodi of the decade, Hottest couple, Best Child Artist, Power List Topper and blah blah blah. You name it and they have it.
There are awards by film magazines, production houses, movie channels, event management companies and some more. Scratch the surface and you get to know everything. Every year they come out with their nominations, we read and crib, they host the awards, we see and crib some more and then forget it completely.
It started in the same manner this year. Nomination lists of awards came out and we started cribbing about it. Only difference, the platform was new – Twitter. Nikhil Taneja suggested that we should try to do something. Enough of cribbing! Is it possible ? Yes, let’s give it a try.
Some of us came on board and we started discussing the Do’s and Don’ts. It all emerged from Tweet-discussions A twitter handle ( @twi_fi_awards) was created and more debates and discussions followed. Someone suggested the name TwiFi Awards and others loved it. TwiFi ? Twitter Film Awards. The idea is use to the vast and unique platform of Twitter and get everyone involved to spot the best of the cinema talent.
And everyone agreed that let’s keep it free, fair, independent and most importantly, Transparent. Whatever we do, should be visible to everyone….who is voting for whom and who is getting how many votes.
But who will decide ?
A. To filter out the best from the rest, a Jury consisting of country’s top critics and bloggers will vote to select the nominations. Critics because they see almost every film and you may agree or not, but their opinion matters. And bloggers because they do it just for the love of it. So if we get the best of the both, we might be heading in right direction. Also, the jury for music nominations is different.
To read the full list of critics who are on jury, click here. You name them and they are there! Bet you won’t be disappointed.
Once they submit their nominations, we will compile it all and put it out for voting. And everyone can vote. All you need is a twitter account.
Q. Who will decide which blogger will vote ?
A. Everyone. We asked people to nominate their favourite bloggers by just tweeting his/her name to the official account (@twi_fi_awards). Believe it or not, we got names of 70 bloggers to be part of the jury. Pavan Jha designed an application where people can cast their vote to select their favourite blogger. Voting is still open. Click here and access it through your twitter account. And to keep it transparent, your vote will appear on your Timeline too. ( We are not storing any data. Its used only for the purpose of voting)
And if you have any more doubts, click here to know all about the TwiFi Awards.
To know more about the TwiFi Awards, click here. To know more about how to vote for the jury, click here.
We are not sure where and how far we will reach, we are not even sure if we are heading in the right direction. But one thing is for sure – we are trying to make a change. And the intention is entirely honest. Only because we are sick, bored and tired of “tv shows” masquerading as film awards.
About 1500 people on Twitter, more than 500 on FB, about 30 critics, 70 bloggers and some 800 voters have already joined us. Will you contribute too ?
Let’s give cinema a chance.
Or you can go back and cheer for Golmaal. Or may be you can try and crack this puzzle – Omkar Das Manikpuri ( Peepli Live) is nominated for Best Performance In A Comic Role.
Its that time of the year again. The only time when we love making, reading and sharing lists. We decided to compile all the filmy lists and compare them. So here it is – all the year-ender lists . And any critic who puts I Hate Luv Storys and Khelein Hum Jee Jaan Sey in his/her list of Top 10 films of the year, needs to stop reviewing films. Now.
Anupama Chopra (NDTV)
Top 5 – 1. Udaan 2. LSD 3. Peepli Live 4. Ishqiya 5. Robot
Best Trailers – 1. Dabangg 2. Yamla Pagla Deewana 3. Road, Movie 4. Ishqiya 5. Yeh Saali Zindagi 6. Love Sex Aur Dhokha 7. Once Upon A Time In Mumbai 8. Tere Bin Laden 9. Peepli Live 10. Udaan.
Film Soundtracks – 1. Ishqiya 2. No One Killed Jessica 3. Love Sex Aur Dhokha 4. Aisha 5. Udaan For details, click here .
Sukanya Varma ( Rediff)
Best Films ( In no particular order) – Peepli Live. Ishqiya. Robot. LSD . Tere Bin Laden. Pas Gaye Re Obama. Udaan. Do Dooni Char. Band Baaja Baarat. Dabangg
Golden Trophies – 1. Peepli Live 2. Do Dooni Chaar 3. Love Sex Aur Dhokha 4. Ishqiya 5. Udaan 6. Rajneeti 7. Tere Bin Laden / Phas Gaye Re Obama / Well Done Abba 8. Dabangg / Guzaarish / My Name Is Khan 9. Kartik Calling Kartik 10. Striker / Antardwand
Best Of The Worst – 1. It’s A Wonderful Afterlife 2. Krantiveer 3. Knock Out 4. Mumbai To India 332 5. Teen Patti 6. Accident On Hill Road 7. Sadiyaan 8. Bum Bum Bole 9. Hiss 10. Dunno Y… Na Jaane Kyon. In details Click here
Namrata Joshi (Outlook) :And the one that touched the heart: Ab bhool gaye hain joote kahan utaare the…
For Liberalisation’s Children, click here and for a very personal recap, click here.
Shubhra Gupta (Indian Express) : Can you tell a story, Mr Fink? Can you make us laugh? Can you make us cry?” Onwards, to 2011.
When i pinged Kartik Krishnan on GTalk yesterday, he told me has busy reading a new book. Film book ? Yeah. As always, i asked him if he could write a (recco) post and as always, he replied with a hmmmmm, which is a difficult expression to decipher. What to write about a book where every page is delicious ? Now that’s a genuine excuse, and difficult argument to win. So he wrote something and typed some excerpts from the book. Knowing him so well, I should have guessed it ( Click here to read Kundan Shah on Renu Saluja. And click here for Guru Dutt on Classics and Cash) Typing out excerpts from a book may sound simple but is really a painstaking job. And is also a service for less privileged human beings who don’t have access to the book but are e-connected. And now his side of the story and more..
He asked me to ‘review’ this book written by Jai Arjun Singh (a superb writer-blogger who should write as frequently about cinema as literature – cos when he does – he nails it)
“Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro – Seriously Funny since 1983 – By Jai Arjun Singh” – click here to buy it
Now how does one try an encapsulate more than 250 pages devoted to the making of one of the oft quoted cult classic films of our times, in about 500 words ? How much trivia do we JBDY Bhakts know already, that we need a book to tell us ? What good could it possible tell which would be new ?
Turns out – Lots !!! My knowledge of the film is a measly 1% of what is there in the book. And I claimed to be one of the biggest JBDY bhakts among my circles-have even met Kundan Shah and tried to squeeze out maximum information out of him on the film. Clearly I’m wrong 😛
Trivias, Background history of the players, the director, writer, actors, scripting, NFDC, pre production, fights, troubles, ultra low budget shooting, post production, release & reviews, the legacy – it has it all – all summed up in an unputdownable read.
And when you read such a revelation – how do you write a post on it ?
May be stop endlessly raving about it and simply give some snippets of the book. May be hope that seduced by the ‘trailer’ of the book, people will go and buy it. Because at 188 bucks (film books normally cost Rs 500,800,1500 or more) this book is a steal. Highly Recommended. Cash on delivered to you doorstep in 3 days! Flipkart rocks!
So instead of a recco post, am transcribing quarter of a chapter here & there, hoping that this will contribute to the sales of the book. I hope I’m not offending the author of the book or the director.
Over to the book’s Intro –
The Artist as a Store Attendant(talks about the initial days of Kundan Shah- the humor streaks – the beginning transcribed below)
“Take this hypothetical situation”, Kundan Shah tells me at our first meeting in his Bandra office. “You want to write a book about this film I made years ago. So you call repeatedly and ask me to meet you and I keep putting you off, and you are getting fed up but you aren’t in any position to say anything. You’re the underdog in our relationship.”
“Then, finally, I do call you over at a very inconvenient time, say 10.30 at night. You travel a great distance to get here, but then find that I’m busy-I have people over. I brush you off with the words :”Hey listen, can you come later?”. It’s an inconsequential matter for me – your book isn’t going to make my 25 year old film more popular than it already is- but for you, it’s as if the world has come crashing down.”
“But you don’t want the people sitting around to see that you’re hurt. So you put on a brave face, turn the whole thing into a joke. “Okay, sir,” you say with your dead pan expression, “should I go back and come again at one am?” So now your humiliation has been transferred into another medium -sarcasm, whatever. And it’s for me to respond because, suddenly, I’ve become the butt of the joke”
Comedy and cruelty often go hand in hand, stresses the man who wrote and directed a very funny film that ends with its two most likeable characters heading for the hangman’s noose. “When a person slips and falls, he might -speaking realistically – have broken his hip, or worse, but people laugh. You create humour out of something painful.”
The Corpse, The Chess Game And The Flush Handle
Given how popular the ‘laash’ sequences would become, it’s a pity that the crew never got around to shooting some of the zanier scenes with the dead body, especially after the inebriated Ahuja takes it home with him. The scenes at the guesthouse were to include one where Ahuja – eager to entertain this strangely shy mehmaan who doesn’t say a word-initiates a game of chess with the body.Naturally, the drunkard ends up losing to the dead man. (Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal had established a precedent for Death winning cinematic chess games, though it is unlikely that Kundan and Ranjit Kapoor had this in mind when they wrote the scene).
Ranjit also fondly remembers a sight gag that begins with Ahuja encouraging the corpse to have some whiskey. When the drink inevitably spills on the floor, the builder slurs, “Arre yaar, tu yahaan susu kar raha hai? (‘You’re peeing on the floor?’), but regains his courteousness and, in the tradition of the good Indian host, carries his guest to the bathroom. There he puts the deceased commissioner’s hands through the flush chain, comes back to his room and falls asleep. The next day, when Vinod and Sudhir are looking for the body in the guesthouse, they are alerted by the osund of the flush: the body has been upright in the bathroom all night, the weight of its arm pulling down the flush handle every time the tank fills. Rinse and repeat, so to speak.
The climactic chase offered endless possibilities for droll use of the laash, one of them being a planned scene where Vinod and Sudhir disguise it as a beggar asking for alms. In a fine touch, Tarneja, Ahuja and the other crooks – who have built a career by cheating people out of crores of rupees – interrupt the chase to conscientiously put money in the ‘beggar’s’ bowl. But pehraps the funniest laash moment that didn’t make it to the final cut was a scene where the partners hide the body in a doctor’s clinic. The physician, described in the script as ‘a Jiri Menzel type’ (a reference to the Czech director of such movies as Closely Watched Trains), gives the body a complete check-up (temperature, blood pressure, pulse etc) and then proclaims, in the self assured, avuncular manner of the typical Hindi-film doctor : “Ghabraane ki koi baat nahin hai. Do din mein theek ho jaoge” (“Nothing to worry about. You’ll be fine in two days”)
Naseeruddin Shah Ko Gussa Kyun Aata Hai ? The Mirror Crack’d
But the next scene with which Naseer had problems might have worked better if he had been allowed to have his way. This is a sequence that ranks among the films weakest, most awkward moments – the faux mushy exchange between Vinod and Shobha as they stand in front of the mirror and she plays victim (‘Main ek akaylee abhla aurat hoon …’) to mine his romantic-hero feelings and manipulate him into helping her.
Actually the scene begins with Vinod trying to cosy up to Shobha, who swiftly makes it clear that theirs is a ‘professional sambandh’, that of ‘maalik aur naukar’ (hence the famous shot of Shobha placing her foot under Vinod’s chin). But then, realising how important these photographers are to her grand design, she changes tack. Some of the dialogue that follows – “Mere sapnon ka sathi, main bhi bhookhi hoon…pyaar ki” and “Suno mere dil ki dhadkan” – plays like a parody of mainstream melodrama.
When Kundan wrote the scene, his idea was that it would be a game of charades between Shobha and Vinod. Obviously, Shobha is the devious one, but Vinod isn’t entirely innocent either: he wants the fun of being seduced by this attractive woman but at the same time he vaguely senses that this might be a trap and he doesn’t know how far he can trust her. The scene was to be driven by this conflict. In fact, it was the thought of this scene which had inspired Kundan to cast Bhakti Barve – when he saw her on stage in Hands Up!, he realized that she was an actress who could handle the required nuance.
However when it came to shooting, Naseer said he wanted to play the scene seriously – Vinod would take everything Shobha said at face value and fall hook, line and sinker for her trap. A major arguement followed.
Naseer: There has to be a serious moment between these two!
Kundan: I agree. But this isn’t it! The serious moment can come afterwards, once she has backstabbed them.
Naseer: Let’s put it to a vote. The whole unit can decide whether I should play this scene straight or crooked.
So everyone voted and it turned out that almost everyone was on Naseer’s side.
Kundan: This is ridiculous. So what if everyone agrees with you. I’m the bloody writer of this thing and I’m also the director – I’m using my power to overrule the vote.
Naseer: Fine, then I won’t have dinner!
Okay, it probably didn’t happen exactly that way, but the upshot is that things were threatening to fall apart. As it is, this was never going to be an easy or straightforward take. When you are shooting a scene where two actors face a mirror together and the viewer sees only their reflections, the camera set-up is complicated. The actors have to look at predetermined spots rather than at each other, which can make performing the scene somewhat tricky since they can’t directly respond to each others facial expressions. A lot of preparation is required, and it is probably a good idea if the overall mood on the sets is congenial.
Eventually, Naseer agreed to play the scene the director’s way – and even had his food – but the results of the disagreements are sadly visible in the film. The sequence begins very well – Bhakti is outstanding in the shot where she realizes that she has to put on an act for this lovelorn fool and slowly starts drawing the curtains – but it quickly deteriorates into something clunky and inconsistent. Temporarily deprived of his simplicity, Vinod has a sly, cocky look about him that goes against the character, and Naseer doesn’t look at all convinced about what he is doing. Watching the scene today, one cringes at the sight of one of India’s finest actors so obviously out of sorts.
But this is the only scene where the actor’s discomfiture shows: though his role in the film is relatively subdued compared to those of Ravi Baswani, Om Puri and Satish Shah. He has a gala time in scenes such as the one where he pretends to be an American reporter for DeMello’s benefit, and as the fake ‘Duryodhana’ in the Mahabharata scene. In some ways, his achievement is all the more notable because he wasn’t to the genre born, so to speak. Besides, his commitment to the movie never flagged. Crew members remember him as being constantly encouraging towards the younger members of the unit, and very keen not to be treated as a big-shot (which he was, in the context of non mainstream cinema). Anytime there was a problem with money – as there frequently was – he would tell Kundan: “Take this out of my salary”. His attitude was emblematic of the overall approach to the making of Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro: fume and curse about specific things going wrong, but then get over it and put in your best.
PS – This post is NOT sponsored by the author, the publishers of the book or by Flipkart. If you are good, we will shout out from roof top and let the world know.
But first here is my top 5 films of the year – Udaan. LSD. Ishqiya. Peepli Live. Do Dooni Chaar. That was easy. Tell me which one needs any explanation.
And now here is the list of 20 things we discovered this year and 10 unanswered questions which confused us all. And this required long debate, discussion and dissection. Please do add yours in the comment box.
1. If looks could kill, the most romantic moment of the year had Naseeruddin Shah staring at an unknown passenger in a bus. And she did respond. Matter of just few seconds, but what a foreplay. Click here…from 00:12.
2. Striker – The underrated, underplayed and easily one of the best albums of the year.
3. LSD – Can be bollywoodised and still have the same psychedelic effect.
4. If your intials are A.K, chances are actors can be cast according to the characters. Rajat Barmecha. Omkar Das Manikpuri.
5. Habib Faisal is the new Jaideep Sahni. Or Sahni of Twenty10. YRF. Delhi. Do Dooni Chaar. Band Bajaa Baraat.
6. Delicious Exports of The Year – ( Phans Gaye Re ) Obama and Osama ( Tere Bin Laden ). We had both. Next is what ?
7. KLPD Imports of The Year – Ben Kingsley ( Teen Patti) and Barack Obama ( MNIK).
8. Bollywood learnt a new hindi word – Dabangg. Some still think its Da Bang.
9. Dibakar Banerjee can give other lyricists a run for their money. Try LSD again. Title track, tainu tv pe wekhya, I cant hold it and more.
10. KJo took one step forward – We Are Family is an official remake of Stepmom. And few steps back – Everything else was a waste.
11. Ashutosh Gowariker thinks watching KHJJS and fighting for the freedom struggle is the same. Well, at endurance level, it might be. On Twitter, when we asked him for refund, he replied – asking for a refund?? It is like asking for a refund from the revolutionaries who gave their lives for us!! I am saddened!!
12. Impossible – Thy name is Uday Chopra. Pyaar Impossible. Height of Impossibility – Daya Prochu. Anagram of Uday Chopra, his philosophical twitter twin who has lots of time and loads of gyaan. And is now in comic avatar.
13. The Year of disasteR – Road, Movie. Rann. Raavan. Rakht Charitra 1 and 2. Rokk. Right Ya Wrong. Red Alert. The exception that proved the rule – Robot.
14. SLB is still in his cocoon. Nagesh Kuknoor is still in denial. And Ramu is still RIP.
15. Abbas Tyrewala proved that all rumours about JTYJN were true. Yes, Aamir can.
16. Surnames can be misleading. Highly misleading. Try Lynch. Hisss.
17. Gloria Jeans ( Bandra) and Costa Coffee (the one below Karan Johar’s office) kills creativity. Otherwise how do you explain the sound of Vishal-Shekhar’s music this year ? Four films. No new sound. And you can spot them there at any time of the day.
18. The reason why nobody is casting all Bs together. Action Replay. Teen Patti. Raavan. KHJJS. Rann. Guzaarish. Half a dozen. Housefull of duds.
19. Kumar is the new Khan. If star status is all about opening day collections, then Salman Khan ( Dabangg), Aamir Khan ( 3 Idiots) and Tees Maar Khan are on Top 3 positions. Time to change the title of SRK’s next – Ra One Khan ?
20. Rajni can do anything but as Nana Patekar said…ek macchar aadmi ko…..Remember Robot.
10 Unanswered Questions
1. Who directed Kites ?
2. Why UTV produced Guzaarish ?
3. Who thought that Priyadarshan can remake Majid Majidi’s Children Of Heaven ?
4. Why was Filmfare’s Editor and the entire team so gung-ho about Farrukh Kabir’s Allah Ke Banday ? They non-stop tweeted and retweeted.
5. Did Ranveer Singh’s dad produce Band Bajaa Baarat ? Though post-release he silenced all his critics.
6. How does Gorilla’s fart smell like ? Dear Anil Kapoor, we are at moifightclub@gmail.com
7. How many more sequels of Golmaal are still being planned ?
We thought we will talk about the movies later. Following in the footsteps of Bollyfellas, lets talk about ourselves first. Those of you who have been religiously following us, must have read all the posts. And if you aren’t, here it is – some of the most interesting posts at one place. Posts that made us happy, got a wicked smile after clicking the publish button or the ones that got us many smileys on various social networking platforms. Enjoy!
1. EXCAVATED – Sai Parajpye’s offer LETTER to Ravi Baswani. For Chasme Buddoor. No extra allowance.
2. BUSTED – The Curios Case of Joginder Chutreja. Credited. Reviewed. Rated. And Caught.
3. DISCOVERED – Gulzarsaab – as you had not seen or heard before. In front of the camera.
4. PREDICTED – The one with the worst punctured tyres. Also, Body – 9 cr. Tyres – 6 crore. Beat that!
5. REVEALED – Band Masters Rangeela & Rasila of Dev D fame.
6. CAUGHT – IPL’s launch video was “Made In China”.
7. FOUND – The madness of Pancham which created magic.
8. BET & WON – Its not difficult to predict Nikhattu Kazmi. It was an open bet and she proved us right.
2010 – Is it going to be remembered as the Year of Open Letters ? Think so. Wonder why ? Because there are hardly counted few cinema gurus in this country and when they disappoint too, where else do you go ? This one comes from a fan of Mohanlal, someone who knows the cinema of the region as well. I still remember this post by another friend and we still talk about the header of his post – Mohanlal can act with his back to the cinema! How many can do that ? And if he can, why turn to other side to kick the villains in slo-mo. Leave it to others. Read on….
Dear Laletta,
At this moment you must be celebrating the release of your new film that you also produced. A year ago I was very excited when you were reviving your banner, Pranavam Arts for this film. To Malayalam film buffs this banner needs no introduction. This banner has actually given lot of gems that pushed Malayalam cinema to new heights in terms of cinematic growth.
The first film to be made in this banner was His Highness Abdullah and the last film that released in this banner is Kandahar, which released on Friday. With Kandaha
r you have officially killed the quality of your banner and the brand. As the title credits started unfolding, the first tag that actually caught my attention was “The Legendary Superstar- Mohanlal”. Then I did not think much about the tag moved ahead with watching the film. A film titled Kandahar is actually an out and out commercial film, yes it also has a plane hijacking plot thrown in to do justice to the title, that too the most twisted way. Major Ravi as a film maker has found a way to make pathetic army films using his Major tag. A film maker who gets to cast two good actors, Bachchan and you, plainly wastes the idea and the script catering to pathetic mass demands without aesthetic sense, quality or taste, expecting audiences to clap at every move of yours. All I could see was audiences getting more and more uneasy in their seats, as the movie progressed. I am not sure which set of your fans love this sort of crap from you ?
What was the idea of using Amitabh Bachchan in a character, when the story remotely does not demand it? What was so extraordinary, that no other actor could play it? Have you lost your sensitivity in a film that deals with plane hijacking, what is the need for the pathetic underwear humour? And Laletta, by the time Major Ravi narrated the script to you, I am sure you realised the film has nothing to do with the Kandahar incident that took place in 1999. Yet you decided to make this film under your established Pranavam banner, I feel Major Ravi continuously making these cheap army films makes him a bigger disgrace to the nation as he appears to be making money out of pseudo patriotism. Yes the icing on the cake, the film also has an item number in a disco. Do you really think the masses love this? Where happened to your taste?
You once played an assassin who reached a royal family to kill the king, and through your mutual passion of music, you and king form an inseparable bond. Forcing you to think whether you should eventually kill the king and turning against the same people who hired you. Below is the scene where you are thinking about whether you should proceed with the murder, when Gowthami comes to you, in her innocence, she tell you whatever you are thinking, she’ll pray for you. Subtlety was your greatest strength then.
Below is a song from Bharatham, the second film of Pranavam Arts, when you played a singer, who is forced to hide his elder brother’s death during his sister’s marriage. The night before the marriage he finds out his brother is dead in a road accident, and when he returns with the news home, the family at home receives a letter saying the brother is in a holy trip to Kashi, you decide not to reveal the news to the family, deciding to wait till the wedding gets over. That’s when the relatives ask you to sing. You go along, hiding the grief. The performance won you the National Award that year. The song still gives me goose bumps.
The above two was just the beginning of Pranavam Arts; you repeated consistent quality in terms of stories, performances in every project of Pranavam Arts with different directors including Priyadarshan, who has no more stories to tell these days. You actually achieved a mile stone when you produced Vanasprastam, when a lot of Kathakali teachers refused to teach you the dance form. They said the scenes that require Kathakali couldn’t be performed by any actor, since it takes years of practice by any artist to achieve that perfection, you proved them wrong.
Vanaprastham was not a commercial hit for you, after which you closed down the banner, but deep inside you could sleep peacefully you opened Malayalam audiences to a different world, something you can proudly show in your body of work. You actually showed your potential, there is no role that you couldn’t handle. Mani Ratnam called you the Gerard Depardieu of Indian Cinema. You don’t need those comparisons; your fans know what you are capable of, be it comedy, intensity or subtlety. You were everyman’s Lalettan then.
Somewhere today you have lost the passion of the actor and artist. Unfortunately the bunch of cronies like Major Ravi and your gang, whom you have been backing off late under Aashirwaad, have lead to your destruction and deterioration in your work. You are surrounded by people who have made you blind with such pointless positioning like Tamil stars who need milk worship. A pathetic bunch of fans actually resorted to idol worship you on every release and decided to give sad tags like Legendary and Universal Superstar, when you were and are our Lalettan, unfortunately none of those stupid fans know what you have done for Malayalam cinema or for what you have achieved in this craft or do they remotely respect you as an artist, with them lot more agendas are at play, I am sure you are well aware, they expect you to ape Bollywood stars, romance young 20 something heroines and want you to send goons flying in the air, when today you should be playing your age, exploring characters your age and pushing the envelope like Pacino or Depadieu. You should be actually thinking of collaborating with artists internationally. When you should be making a Pranavam Arts film under directors with strong voices like Blessy, who force you to break your image, you choose people like Major Ravi who massage your ego. All this makes me worry; I don’t want you to become a Rajnikant and getting lost in the Superstar tag that we no more will get to see our Lalettan who we once knew. You are beyond such tags as an artist. Ever think of the first time you acted?
Here is the actor in you begging the director to complete the film with whatever funds, while the director advises you to believe in yourself and your work. A classic scene from Mani Ratnam’s Iruvar. The film ranks as one of my favourites
Years ago on TV, I watched Guru, directed by Rajiv Anchal, which was India’s entry for Oscars where you played a man who had sight in the land of the blind. The film was one of the most profound films and I could never take it off my mind. In the film, when you loose sight like the others, you are asked to explain what blindness is to the people who can’t see. You talk of a wall that is blocking you, unless that wall breaks…
Even as I write it, I know that this post does not even begin to sum up your body of work, but it pains to see you chase stardom even at this age, no tag will do justice to the biggest tag we know you as, Lalettan (Lal brother). I sincerely hope that you read this letter and return as Lalettan.
Till then, I am assuming in reality you have become blind.
I first met you at the time of the TV Series Peking Express where we bonded instantly over discussions about Ram Gopal Varma, Ritwik Ghatak, Anurag Kashyap, Vishal Bhardwaj, Dibakar Bannerjee, Scorcese, short films, pseudo intellectuals, lack of subtitled assamese film dvds and many other such common topics. I remember the statement you made – ‘In India, there seem to be more people in love with vodka than in Russia itself’ – which was a dig at various fake people we keep meeting in this business of ours. And that you had famously remarked – ‘I can live without cinema, but can’t live without old monk’.
2010 has been a fuckall year when it comes to filmmakers who have been snatched away unfairly from this world – Saurabh Usha Narang, Pankaj Advani, Manish Acharya and now you. Unfair ! Bloody Unfair !
I remember watching this short film with the LPA gang in Hotel Janpath Delhi, amidst much heated discussions with everyone about cinema. I remember where I said -“Why is this angle so weird?” And you had said “The film is meant to be so. I wanted the weirdness”. The trivia that you shared – how you wrote the film in Hindi which is your second language, how the actor Adil Hussain (superb) improvised the ‘juice’ line, how the art & poster design was done – is the sort of stuff we filmwalas can listen to all day long.
Then you showed me your other short film – Windows – which I instantly professed my love for – shot LSD style with dollops of voyerism. It didn’t seem like a film at all. And the DVD commentary-ish VO made it completely personal. And I remember how happy you were when I told you the same. ‘Yes. I wanted to do that but only a few people who have seen the film have managed to get it’. And I remember being very happy & gloated with that observation of mine. I became a fanboy then 🙂
“The first shot of the film is a director’s shot.
The second shot of the film is an editor’s shot.”
And as the film went on, it slowly became an other worldy trippy experience for me.
And today as it’s been almost more than a week that you have passed away due to multiple organ failure, and someone shared your film’s link – instantly I was reminded of you and the times we spent together. The telephone conversations from Kolkatta – discussing independent filmmaking & the masala bollywood; bitching about some of the typical film institute teachers who know all what is wrong with a film down to the smallest frame yet have themselves never made a half decent film (I can imagine you laughing as you read this line, from wherever you are). When you called me to inform that your film has been selected to Pusan film festival, I couldnt help but be proud, yet I knew that your best was yet to come.
Unfortunately, now it will never come.
RIP Mozo Darling. Take care and I hope they allow you to make movies in heaven.
Kartik Krishnan
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The Doctor, Nurse and the Patient
Synopsis : To a man just woken up from coma, a nurse coldly announces his mother’s death. From then on, his doctor and the nurse meet mysterious deaths in turn. This revenge play deals with indifference to other human beings through tense genre touches, culminating in an unbelievable finale.
Hello, again folks. So, is Aamir a star only because we’re too dumb? Does he ‘know his audience so well that he confidently feeds them tripe’?
Well, I’ll say he clearly does know his audience pretty darn well. As for feeding them ‘tripe’, perhaps that would be going overboard. Aamir’s films (and I’m obviously not talking Fanaa, Ghajini or his cult-classic Mela here) are anything but tripe. Yet, they’re hardly works of great artistic merit or as daringly different as they’re widely propped up to be, right?
Is he a star because we’re too dumb? I wouldn’t say yes to that, because that would be condescending and not completely true. However, part of the appeal of Aamir’s films is that they make us feelintelligent. They’re clearly way above the average tripe Bollywood serves us, and certainly don’t ask us to ‘leave our brains at home’ like a lot of films do. But they don’t particularly require us to use our brains either. Did we really have to exercise our intellectual capabilities watching Taare Zameen Par, however un/limited they might be?
So, while the content is meaningful and not run-of-the-mill, it’s hardly challenging. Or penetrative. It’s astute entertainment, not quite junk, like the low-fat snacks and cola Mr. Khan so convincingly hawks, but easily digestible and spoon-fed, all the same. In the Great Taran Adarsh Book of Cinema, it fulfills all the three Es: Entertainment, Education and (sic) Enlightenment. But it doesn’t challenge us. And we, the frogs in a well, are happy to believe we’ve just watched something mighty smart and sophisticated. Some find it ‘phenomenal’ and some even feel ‘shell-shocked, challenged and motivated’! Jai Ho!
Which is why Dhobi Ghat– a film that is so far removed from anything Aamir has acted in so far- becomes an important and interesting film to look out for. When Aamir talks about how it’s ‘fine cinema’ and ‘not for everyone’, he’s not just saying it’s out of his audience’s comfort-zone- he is also pointing out that it is way out of his own league and territory.
In the world of Dhobi Ghat, it’s Aamir who’s the real newcomer- a highly capable actor, but one who comes with the layers and baggage of years of ‘popular’ cinema, one who’s used to flashing his schoolboy charm and playing to the gallery when required. Here, he’s in a naked, alien space, without the comfort of the props he’s usually equipped with. It’s natural, the nervousness- right? Far from being condescending, as Raja dramatically puts it, I’d say he’s being very honest… and refreshingly human.
I’ve often been accused to being anti-Aamir. It couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s just that I find the entire ‘perfectionist’ persona and the excess hoopla around his performances/films a little overbearing. But nothing takes away from the fact that he is one of our best mainstream actors. And there’s all the more reason to applaud Aamir, now that he’s actually living up the hype of being ‘different’, at least in his choices as a producer: PeepliLive, Dhobi Ghat and Delhi Belly.
At a time even UTV doesn’t want the tag of making ‘meaningful’ films, Aamir is now admirably backing films that are a marketing nightmare without majorly compromising on their spirit. He managed pretty well with Peepli Live (though Anusha Rizvi’s film, with its earthy, ribald humor had some popular appeal despite its style) and turned a small film big. But Dhobi Ghat and Delhi Belly will be harder to sell, with their moody, urban landscapes and English dialogue. (I’m making an assumption about Delhi Belly, but it reportedly being a dark, urban sex-comedy majorly in English, and the fact that its been completed for a while now gives me a feeling that they’re still figuring what to do with it.) I sure hope he succeeds; these are the kind of films that might help open a lot of new doors, especially for Indian films in English.
Ah, back to the column:
Calling the Indian audience short of sensitivity or emotion is a stretch in any book. We’ve always been suckers for high drama, even in comic scenes. You know, the kind of films where vacuum cleaners birth infants just so caricatured fathers can have changes of heart? Yeah, those wouldn’t work if the audience didn’t react with its heart and forgive all the farce.
Yes, Raja- high drama, the key word here is high, not drama that is subtle, that doesn’t scream its lungs out. Hell, even Rocket Singh, a film that was all heart and soul, a film I know you loved too- failed last year because apart from the poor marketing, it lacked high drama. It was very much mainstream entertainment with generous doses of humor and heart-tugging moments, but its relaxed, non-gimmicky tone wasn’t very appreciated, was it? I’ve even read reviews that described it as an office ‘documentary’. Yes.
And since when did you need to be cine-literate to appreciate a good film? A masterpiece is a masterpiece is a masterpiece, and hits you right between the eyes — and shoves you in the heart with the force of a roundhouse right — no matter what you know about the craft of cinema. A good film is a visceral experience, and you do not need to be aware of technique or predecessors to be overwhelmed by it. Sure, film theorists and critics and their mothers all have different ways of consuming a film, but a solid film — which could be personally smashing for any single one of us — doesn’t need cinematic education to show off its chops. At all.
Oh, come *yaw*on. Are you really that naïve? A masterpiece is a masterpiece is a masterpiece, eh? So whatever happened to Eklavya, which you hailed as one? My God, there’s so much utopian idealism in this one paragraph that it would put Ashutosh Gowariker to shame. One man’s visceral experience can be the other person’s headache, even unintentional laugh riot. Black, anyone? Hell, I’m sure I can find folks who found Dabangg a visceral experience. Gosh.
Then again, as a friend suggests, perhaps this too is strategy on the part of the masterful marketing maestro. Berate the masses, and dare them to come see a film in defiance of the claim that they won’t get it.
Your friend, I’m sorry- and there’s no polite way of putting this- sounds stunningly daft. Yes, film-marketing is done using wildly experimental reverse-psychology methods. Right.
But what bugged me most of all in the column is this bit:
The sheer level of condescension in that quote is alarming. As a member of your audience, Mr Khan, that quote just hurts. It is thoughtless, callous, dismissive and most uncalled for.
Really, Raja- since when did you, of all movie buffs and critics, become such a darling of the masses? You, who has spawned twenty-odd ‘I Hate Raja Sen’ clubs? You, who makes it a point to regularly diss moronic money-spinners (The likes of Rajneeti and my very own bête-noire Sajid Khan’s potty films) and casually throws in American pop-culture references in your reviews (and kindly also provides corresponding Wikipedia links to explain them)? Damn, I bet half the audience you are so bravely standing up for doesn’t even understand the language in your reviews.
Aren’t you the guy who ‘groaned’ a few weeks back, when audiences danced in the aisles watching Dabangg? And so- as someone correctly asked at an online movie forum- you have every right to be condescending to an audience, and Aamir doesn’t? At least Dabanng wasn’t pretentious. It delivered what it promised. This on the other hand is, and Raja, no disrespect, but um, this is total shit. You’ve beaten your friend @MallikaLA’s push-up bras and bustiers, when it comes to making a mountain out of a molehill.
I was tempted to ask: Did you write this column only because you’re dumb? I don’t believe so, because despite appearances, I’m not the founder member of one of those silly hate clubs. Despite your occasional pompousness and self-indulgent writing, (And facepalmy moments like when you award Ghajini’s music 5 star and hail Kisna as ‘a return to formby a director who knows exactly what he’s doing’ for and… well, let it be) the reason some of us liked your writing is that you were bold, fun, and irreverent. You weren’t a sell-out. Your reviews came across as passionate and with solid and convincing arguments- even when we disagreed with you wholeheartedly. Come on man, we are all condescending and elitist at some level, and you know it. Let’s at least not pretend otherwise and be apologetic about it.
#KThanxBai. Or better still- Good Night, and Good Morning, Mr. Sen.