Posts Tagged ‘Ra One’

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The Ghantas (TheGhantas.com) celebrates and rewards the worst of Bollywood every year. The 2nd Annual Ghanta Awards rewarded the worst Bollywood films of 2011. And the only nominee who dared to be present was Sonam Kapoor. All RESPECT.

The nominees were decided by a panel of experts and voting for the winners was done through a public, online vote that was held between Feb –  March 16th, 2012. The awards were presented by @AmusedDouche, @awryaditi, @gkhamba, @varungrover and @iarevaboon.

Winners in BOLD.

Worst Film

1.    Ra.One

2.    Bodyguard

3.    Ready

4.    Mausam

5.    Don 2

Worst Holier-Than-Thou Movie

1.    Dhobi Ghat

2.    No One Killed Jessica

3.    That Girl in Yellow Boots

4.    Memories in March

5.    Shaitan

Worst Actor

1.    Salman Khan – Bodyguard, Ready

2.    Shah Rukh Khan – Ra.One, Don 2

3.    Ajay Devgn – Rascals, Singham, Dil Toh Baccha Hai Ji

4.    Sanjay Dutt – Ra.One, Rascals, Chatur Singh 2 Star, Double Dhamaal, Desi Boyz

5.    Vinay Pathak – Utt Patang, Tere Mere Phere, Chalo Dilli, Bheja Fry 2

Worst Actress

1.    Kangna Ranaut – Game, Miley Na Miley Hum, Double Dhamaal, Tanu Weds Manu, Ready, Rascals

2.    Nargis Fakhri – Rockstar

3.    Jacqueline Fernandez – Murder 2

4.    Gul Panag – Turning 30

5.    Bipasha Basu – Dum Maaro Dum

Worst Supporting Actor

1.    Tusshar Kapoor – The Dirty Picture, Hum Tum Shabana, Shor in the City

2.    Prateik Babbar – Dhobi Ghat, Aarakshan, Dum Maaro Dum, My Friend Pinto

3.    Anupam Kher – Every other film

4.    Om Puri – Don 2, Khap, Teen Thay Bhai, Bin Bulaye Baarati

5.    Shreyas Talpade – Hum Tum Shabana, Teen Thay Bhai

Worst Supporting Actress

1.    Hazel Keech in Bodyguard

2.    Giselli Monteiro in Always Kabhi Kabhie

3.    Mallika Sherawat in Double Dhamaal

4.    Charmy Kaur in Bbuddah Hoga Tera Baap

5.    Raveena Tandon in Bbuddah Hoga Tera Baap

Worst Breakthrough

1.    Chirag Paswan

2.    Rana Daggubati

3.    Zoa Morani

4.    Sarah Jane-Dias

5.    Nargis Fakhri

Worst Director

1.    Anubhav Sinha – Ra.One

2.    Anees Bazmee – Thank You, Ready

3.    Pankaj Kapur – Mausam

4.    David Dhawan – Rascals

5.    Rohit Dhawan – Desi Boyz

Worst Rip-Off

1.    Don 2 – every Hollywood action film

2.    Murder 2 – The Chaser

3.    Desi Boyz – Full Monty + all Adam Sandler films

4.    FALTU – Accepted

5.    Ragini MMS – Paranormal Activity

Worst Couple

1.    Kangna Ranaut and Ajay Devgn in Rascals

2.    Kangna Ranaut and Sanjay Dutt in Rascals

3.    Kangna Ranaut and Chirag Paswan in Miley Naa Miley Hum

4.    Ranbir Kapoor and Nargis Fakhri in Rockstar

5.    Shahid Kapur and Sonam Kapoor in Mausam

Worst Song

1.    Dhinka Chika

2.    Jalebi Bai

3.    Bodyguard title track

4.    Dum Maaro Dum

5.    Chammak Challo

WTF Was That

1.    Akshay Kumar going to Oxford University in Desi Boyz

2.    Ghost Rape in Haunted 3D

3.    The unexplained science behind the science fiction part of Ra.One

4.    Colourful holi song in the middle of a movie about Hitler & the holocaust in ‘Gandhi to Hitler’

5.    How Sonam Kapoor & Shahid Kapoor don’t manage to exchange a measly phone number over 10 years in Mausam

Thats Anything But Sexy

1.    3 girls conned by Ranveer Singh’s looks and acting abilities

2.    Ram Gopal Verma’s camera angles in Not A Love Story

3.    Anything involving Kangana Ranaut in Rascals

4.    Akshay Kumar as London’s most in-demand male escort in Desi Boyz

5.    Any time Shahrukh Khan says “Junglee Billi” in Don 2

And the “2011 Rewind” series continues. You can read our previous posts here (honest movie posters), here (Bollywood songs we looped), here (Non-bollywood hits of the year), here (exciting moments at the movies),  and here (films which dared to bend the rules). Also, we are scooping some of the best year-end lists here.

Like last year, in this post we have tried to dissect what we learnt at the movies  this year – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the questions that baffled us through out the year.

20 Things We Learnt At The Movies

1. Zoya Akhtar is a better filmmaker than Farhan Akhtar. 2/2 > 1.5/4. LBC + ZNMD > DCH + 1/2Lakshya

2. Nikhil Advani scored a dud hattrick and proved again that KHNH was indeed directed by Karan Johar. Patiala House.

3. Big B can’t sell tickets anymore. He is hit on the small screen but is a flop on the big screen.  KBC. BHTB. Even when he was in his best commercial avatar,  the excuses given were many – low budget, recovery before release, satellite rights.

4. Creative collaboration with spouses and family is not a bright idea. Dhobi Ghat. TGIYB. Mausam. Tere Mere Phere. Love Breakups Zindagi.

5. B for Bachchan. B for Bhagnani. B for Box Office. But you never know which way the last B will swing. Even Jackie B’s film can score better than Abhishek B’s film. Faltu. Game.

6. Tusshar Kapoor still can’t act. He was the odd man out even when the films scored – either critically acclaimed Shor In The City or commercial hit The Dirty Picture. His pillow dance in TDP can give nightmare to anyone.

Dear Ekta Kapoor, let him go. Even Aditya Chopra has given up on Uday Chopra.

7. You can’t calculate the target audience and then make films according to it. Otherwise Y Films’ Luv Ka The End and Mujhse Fraaandship Karoge would have been blockbusters. Pre-release claim – 60% (?) of theatre going audience is youth. Post-release – we recovered our costs.

8. Every filmmaker has one great film in him/her. Some people make their debut with that one. Tigmanshu Dhulia is done with it. Stop expecting. Shagird. Sahid Biwi Aur Gangster.

9. When it comes to Ramu, camera and dildo have the same purpose, interest and area of specialisation. NALS.

10. Prakash Jha creates political events but has no clue about political films now. Raajneeti was a joke,  and we are not sure how to describe the awful Aarakshan.

11. Imtiaz Ali will keep churning out films based on his single template of romance. He knows it but doesn’t  know what to do about it. Rockstar.

12. Himesh Reshammiya is not going to give up so soon. Let’s all pray. Damadamm! In 2012 he has more.

13. Dad + Sons > Mom + Daughter. Deols. Yamla Pagla Deewana. Tell Me O Kkhuda.

14. Remake is NOT a hit formula. Soundtrack was a mess.

15. We don’t need superheroes. Our heroes can do everything. Ra One. Zokkomon.

16. Bhai-porn is here to stay. We are still not bored. Ready. Bodyguard.

17. Indian Mens Are Hot. Courtesy Anil Kapoor. Mission Impossible : Ghost Protocol.

18. Sex and Shah Rukh Khan still sells. Ra One. Murder 2. Don 2. The Dirty Picture.

19. When an actress gets into film production, it means her career is officially over. Lara Dutta. Dia Mirza, Ameesha Patel. Shilpa Shetty. 

20. We still haven’t lost A R Rahman to the west. When he delivers, he is the best. Rockstar.

10 Unanswered Questions

1. Will the real Abhinay Deo please stand up? Which one to trust – Game or Delhi Belly?

2. Who read the script of Game and approved it?

3. Who thought about changing Mimoh’s name to Mahakshay?

4. In which camera do you have the option of in-built subtitles? And for ghosts? Ragini MMS.

5. Who added extra ‘B’ in Bbuddah, extra ‘K’ In Tell Me O Kkhuda, extra ‘A’s in Mujhse Fraaandship Karoge and what purpose they served?

6. Is his name Bumpy? Just Bumpy? Really? Luv Ka The End.

7. In how many more films will we see Vinay Pathak in lead role and doing the same bumbling fool act? This year he had five releases. Yes, five!

8. Can G. One fly? If so, why does he need to travel in a plane? Ra One.

9. Always Kabhi Kabhi – Who is the brain behind the weirdest title of the year?

10. Who is Nagesh Kukunoor?

And what’s your list? What all you discovered or learnt at the movies this year? And what all remains unanswered? Do let us know in comments.

AND?

Make him fly, make him cry,

make him stretch his arms, let him spread the charms.

And then give a latex suit. Aha, try that again.

It wasn’t very long ago when i had accidently discovered a picture of Shah Rukh Khan in my sister’s diary. Floppy hair, dimpled smile, casual attire – a working still from Darr which she had cut out from the newspaper and saved it in her diary (Do kids still write diaries?). And then there was a time when i would come back from school and would religiously play the entire soundtrack of Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge few times before settling down for lunch. Unlike others, I was never a die hard DDLJ fan but i enjoyed it till a teacher dissected it for us one day in college and said, he’s a sissy hero. Mama’s boy is here, he can’t run away with the heroine, he wants to impress her mom and dad. And over the years, SRK managed to do it in a better way – wooing the daughters, moms and mother-in-laws at one go.

Everyone loves the story of an outsider making it big in bad and bloody bollywood. But the problem with being big is that you start playing it safe – when bigger things are at stake, the mantra is give them what they want. In the last few years, if you have seen the kind of films SRK has done, it’s easy to predict that all they wanted him was to spread his arms, smile, nod his head and be the Prince Charming. Even the ham-fest was excused beacuse he could sweep you off your feet. Not us, ask your mom, sister, sister-in-law. It’s not that difficult to find a SRK fan.

His off screen personality is an advantage. He can speak at World Economic Forum and a jhopad-patti gathering with equal ease. Unlike other dodos of bollywood who have nothing much to say, SRK is spontaneous, can tackle any question and he just doesn’t get tired. And when the off screen personality becomes so huge, it’s difficult to imagine him in any character. Brand endorsements, appearances at events, tv shows, band-bajaa, 24 hours bollywood news, documentary on his life – he does it all and then uses the smartest trick to disarm his critics – self-deprecating humor.

The question is how much of SRK can you digest? Seems we can take it all and want some more. And if that’s the reason, why play around with your brand equity, SRK?

But if he doesn’t try anything new, we will say, enough of spreading those arms. If he does, it’s a mess. Remember Paheli, Ashoka, Swades to name a few which all turned out to be big duds at the box office. So is that the reason why Ra One is lets spread the arms, do the chamak challo and let’s try something new along with it? Maybe.

Problem is what do you do with a star like Shah Rukh Khan? Make him wear the latex suit, make him fly, and do endless jokes around the crotch? The only way to claim the throne?

But crass & crotch was never his mantra. He has often said in his interviews that he is not comfortable doing intimate (kiss/nude) scenes because he knows his audience is ma-behanbhabhi-family audience. And that’s why i failed to understand what forced him to go for such extreme shift of gear and in such bad taste. I am fine with everything on screen but when you target the kids, you don’t play around with the crotch, gay jokes, condom-condom and booby key tricks. Do Aryan-Suhana approve of this humour? If yes, great. The man who taught us that it’s all about the dil, when and how did crotch became the ‘main part’? Disturbing signs indeed.

Apart from the role of eternal lover who can stretch his arms and let the music play, the only roles which has been able to cash in on his brand value are of two kinds – the irreverent and the menacing one. Main Hoon Na (without the Indo-Pak bit) and Om Shanti Om are desi comic book films filled with irreverent fun. Nobody takes nothing seriously and what a fun it turned out to be! It might be bit too early to say that Don is all about back to Darr-Anjam days, a sleeker version, and without the streaks of a violent lover – he is bad because he is bad. The idea of turning our dil-ka-hero into a superhero-with-a-hart was a great idea but then you don’t mess it up so badly – comic book meets family entertainer meets super powers meets sufi alaaps meets sci-fi meets god-knows-what. Even Spiderman has family issues, right? First things first, sack the writing team, SRK. Four writers and they could not design a conflict for the Super-hero?

And then get out of that cocoon of friends and family friends and friends of families. Yes, they will always wish the best for you but they might not be the best in the business. Time to try out new partners. Remember Chak De India – Before the film’s release nobody believed that people will come to watch 13 unknown heroines with SRK in scruffy beard. So why not a Vishal Bhardwaj, Raj Kumar Hirani, Dibakar Banerjee, Sriram Raghavan, Imtiaz Ali, Anurag Kashyap or may be someone completely new. May be they have some better ideas to Un-shahrukh the Khan and that too without the latex suit. Or may be a better latex suit for you if you decide to go for the sequel. It’s easy to appreciate the effort, the intention, and the grandeur of some of the sequences but nothing beyond that. Even the story idea was good but that’s about it.

Do it Khan, do it. Do it before it’s too late. The new generation accepts and discards super-heroes everyday. My 2 year old niece is already glued to tv for a robotic cat called Doraemon. This week she took baby steps in bollywood nursery as i showed your pics to her and now she can easily spot Sarook Kaan. After watching the film, as an afterthought i taught her the Rockstar move. Now every time we say Rockstar, she does the kiddie version of headbanging by violently shaking her head in all directions and ends the performance by removing her unkempt hair from the face.

IPL is over. And welcome back to the movies. Here are the three new theatrical trailers. First one is Aamir Khan Production’s Delhi Belly. 2nd is Shah Rukh Khan’s Ra One and the Bhatts are ready with a new installment of Murder – Murder2.

Yes, it’s out. Click on the play button, keep on pausing every millisecond and see if you can see something more.

Directed by Anubhav Sinha, the film stars Shah Rukh Khan, Kareena Kapoor and Arjun Rampal.

And if you thought it was all blink and miss, then we have made things easier for you. Click on the play button to see a slower version of it – 5 times slower ? Not sure. But slow enough to catch everything that you missed.

UPDATE – And now a 30 seconds teaser.

Tip – Yashpal

Subrat, who ? If you know him, great. If not, Kartik Krishnan has an intro for him – He is The Guru-Mahaguru encyclopedia of film knowledge, pop (and other) culture, literature connoisseur from the Raymond Chandlers, Oscar Wildes to Ibn-e-Saafis, and expert on music, quizzing, food & alcohol (One would think in that order). Unlike most professors, his musings on cinema are non pedantic and yet rich with layers of subtle meaning (and humor). And as he says himself – he’s more a consumer than producer of creative output. He’s even introduced us to two of his legendary colleagues. Prof ATM Yadav – whom KRK so shamelessly copied saying , “Yadav kabhi Bhikhari nahi hota, hamesha raja hota hai raja“. And Prof Arthashastri. We do hope to see both of them soon. And if you thought that’s all the man does, his day job has nothing to do with any of his aforementioned passions.

Woohoo! Quite a long one! And since the intro has managed to over-hype the author, please read on….

It was an opening sequence that filled me with dread. A tiny sapling being planted into the soil by a female hand soon to be trampled over by an insensitive passerby. Was this “Rabbit Hole” or will I now espy a Guru Dutt sprawled in a park morosely observing the world go by? Is this Pyaasa with the oft talked about symbolic opening sequence of a bee hovering over flowers in an ‘all’s well with the world’ sort of a manner till a surprisingly careless foot precisely squashes it away? Thankfully, that was a minor aberration in Rabbit Hole as it went on to depict a heartrending yet understated story of loss and longing. Pyaasa, on the other hand, for all its hallowed position in the classics of Indian cinema, would go onto show an overwought story of poet who riles against this soulless world with barely a nod to subtlety barring Sahir’s poetry. Maybe I am being harsh to Pyaasa. In my opinion it was the subtler of the Guru Dutt films and it showcased his limited acting abilities rather well. The rest of Guru Dutt ‘tragic’ oeuvre has often left me wondering. When it comes to raw display of emotions, why do we love going over the top and then staying there. As the lawyer pleads NOKJ – kab tak chhat pe rahega. Ab to neeche aaja.

And, this is Guru Dutt – widely held to be one of our more understated filmmakers.

I have lost my appetite for melodrama. As more life happens to me (as opposed to I seeing more life), I realize nothing dramatic happens in ordinary life. And, nothing dramatic happens in things around ordinary lives. The background score to our lives is the drone of the whirring fan above our heads. You will be lucky to discern melody there if you hear closely and start humming to it. But, trust me, there’s no Salilda doing an Anand in that drone. But, why has this discovery eluded our filmmakers who claim to show ordinariness in our lives? Or, why do we as audience love melodrama so much that it is a ‘fix’ we need in every movie watching experience?

These are questions that crop up in my mind as I see the audience reactions around me on No One Killed Jessica. Admittedly, the film fell short of my expectations – an inconsistent screenplay, an over the top Rani and a poor supporting cast. However, what surprised me was the commonest reason cited for disappointment – the way the movie closed. Apparently, there wasn’t enough drama; a spectacular last reel of monologue, rousing emotions and the deliverance to all of us who invested our emotions in Sabrina.

We must love melodrama dearly to expect such a denouement and then be bitter about not finding it. Why do over the top portrayals win our hearts and then the awards? How does one bear Rani Mukerji in Black? Or, why should the last sequence of Sadma be so iconic? In my mind it spoils an, otherwise, remarkably restrained film. Or, take Dilip Kumar’s shtick through the decade of the 60s. How was it great acting? And, since I am getting these things off my chest, let me not forget the cringeworthy Karishma throwing stones into the lake while cursing her creator in Dil To Pagal Hai and finding a Filmfare and a National Award being thrown at her in return for display of such histrionics.

The reason I am often given is a version of ‘we are like this only’. That we love our emotions, the rona-dhona and our movies reflect them. I find this hard to accept. Firstly, we are not the most emotionally expressive race. I am sure the Italians, Spaniards or the Latinos will concur. Secondly, the arts that precede filmmaking like theatre and literature hardly betray any signs of our future love affair with melodrama. Read Premchand, Tagore or even the relatively pedestarian Devdas (that marker in melodramatic history of Hindi cinema). You will be surprised by the restraint, by what’s left unsaid. Even the early years of Hindi cinema rarely had the protagonist declaiming for long periods on social ills or the mythical mother with her gajar ka halwa.

So, where did we go wrong? I don’t know. May be the answer lies in the transformation of Dilip Kumar from a genuine brooding actor in intense portrayals in the early 1950s to a caricature of the ‘tragedy king’ that lazy directors made out of him in the 1960s. Is it any surprise that the most restrained of the directors of that era, Bimal Roy, didn’t direct Dilip Kumar after late 50s? And, once you had accepted Gunga Jumna, Dil Diya Dard Liya or Aadmi as great dramatic performances, how far is Rajendra Kumar banging the door down in Dil Ek Mandir and Manoj Kumar grating on and on about Indian culture in Purab Aur Paschim. Follow that linear process and you will reach Sunny Deol with a handpump and Shah Rukh Khan’s quivering lips in Devdas. And,eventually, to the million TV serials where each emotion is amped up a million times with the camera going berserk being lapped up by millions of us.

There have been signs of improvement though. Movies like Johnny Gaddar, Oye Lucky, Kaminey and, lately, Udaan, all had great drama without going over the top. Just as I was letting a sigh of relief, I find everyone around me sorely missing that dramatic closure in NOKJ. And, then I saw the Ra.One poster. Out went subtlety through the window.