Posts Tagged ‘Salman Khan’

And here are the Ghanta winners

Posted: March 19, 2012 by moifightclub in Awards, bollywood, News, pics
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The Ghantas (TheGhantas.com) celebrates and rewards the worst of Bollywood every year. The 2nd Annual Ghanta Awards rewarded the worst Bollywood films of 2011. And the only nominee who dared to be present was Sonam Kapoor. All RESPECT.

The nominees were decided by a panel of experts and voting for the winners was done through a public, online vote that was held between Feb –  March 16th, 2012. The awards were presented by @AmusedDouche, @awryaditi, @gkhamba, @varungrover and @iarevaboon.

Winners in BOLD.

Worst Film

1.    Ra.One

2.    Bodyguard

3.    Ready

4.    Mausam

5.    Don 2

Worst Holier-Than-Thou Movie

1.    Dhobi Ghat

2.    No One Killed Jessica

3.    That Girl in Yellow Boots

4.    Memories in March

5.    Shaitan

Worst Actor

1.    Salman Khan – Bodyguard, Ready

2.    Shah Rukh Khan – Ra.One, Don 2

3.    Ajay Devgn – Rascals, Singham, Dil Toh Baccha Hai Ji

4.    Sanjay Dutt – Ra.One, Rascals, Chatur Singh 2 Star, Double Dhamaal, Desi Boyz

5.    Vinay Pathak – Utt Patang, Tere Mere Phere, Chalo Dilli, Bheja Fry 2

Worst Actress

1.    Kangna Ranaut – Game, Miley Na Miley Hum, Double Dhamaal, Tanu Weds Manu, Ready, Rascals

2.    Nargis Fakhri – Rockstar

3.    Jacqueline Fernandez – Murder 2

4.    Gul Panag – Turning 30

5.    Bipasha Basu – Dum Maaro Dum

Worst Supporting Actor

1.    Tusshar Kapoor – The Dirty Picture, Hum Tum Shabana, Shor in the City

2.    Prateik Babbar – Dhobi Ghat, Aarakshan, Dum Maaro Dum, My Friend Pinto

3.    Anupam Kher – Every other film

4.    Om Puri – Don 2, Khap, Teen Thay Bhai, Bin Bulaye Baarati

5.    Shreyas Talpade – Hum Tum Shabana, Teen Thay Bhai

Worst Supporting Actress

1.    Hazel Keech in Bodyguard

2.    Giselli Monteiro in Always Kabhi Kabhie

3.    Mallika Sherawat in Double Dhamaal

4.    Charmy Kaur in Bbuddah Hoga Tera Baap

5.    Raveena Tandon in Bbuddah Hoga Tera Baap

Worst Breakthrough

1.    Chirag Paswan

2.    Rana Daggubati

3.    Zoa Morani

4.    Sarah Jane-Dias

5.    Nargis Fakhri

Worst Director

1.    Anubhav Sinha – Ra.One

2.    Anees Bazmee – Thank You, Ready

3.    Pankaj Kapur – Mausam

4.    David Dhawan – Rascals

5.    Rohit Dhawan – Desi Boyz

Worst Rip-Off

1.    Don 2 – every Hollywood action film

2.    Murder 2 – The Chaser

3.    Desi Boyz – Full Monty + all Adam Sandler films

4.    FALTU – Accepted

5.    Ragini MMS – Paranormal Activity

Worst Couple

1.    Kangna Ranaut and Ajay Devgn in Rascals

2.    Kangna Ranaut and Sanjay Dutt in Rascals

3.    Kangna Ranaut and Chirag Paswan in Miley Naa Miley Hum

4.    Ranbir Kapoor and Nargis Fakhri in Rockstar

5.    Shahid Kapur and Sonam Kapoor in Mausam

Worst Song

1.    Dhinka Chika

2.    Jalebi Bai

3.    Bodyguard title track

4.    Dum Maaro Dum

5.    Chammak Challo

WTF Was That

1.    Akshay Kumar going to Oxford University in Desi Boyz

2.    Ghost Rape in Haunted 3D

3.    The unexplained science behind the science fiction part of Ra.One

4.    Colourful holi song in the middle of a movie about Hitler & the holocaust in ‘Gandhi to Hitler’

5.    How Sonam Kapoor & Shahid Kapoor don’t manage to exchange a measly phone number over 10 years in Mausam

Thats Anything But Sexy

1.    3 girls conned by Ranveer Singh’s looks and acting abilities

2.    Ram Gopal Verma’s camera angles in Not A Love Story

3.    Anything involving Kangana Ranaut in Rascals

4.    Akshay Kumar as London’s most in-demand male escort in Desi Boyz

5.    Any time Shahrukh Khan says “Junglee Billi” in Don 2

How many Bhais do you need to change a lightbulb? Fatema Kagalwala tries to dissect

Posted: September 3, 2011 by moifightclub in Bolly Jokes, bollywood, movie reviews, reviews, WTF
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Bollywood has only one Bhai-jaan. Then there are the Bhai-fans, Bhai-trolls, Bhai’s Being Human fans and now there are Bhai-films too. Films which are critics-proof, meant only for Eid release & weekend business, and any kind of criticism of the film means You-Don’t-Mess-With-Desi-Zohan warning from Bhai-trolls. Bhai is our Bay (Michael). He is our Transformers, our summer tentpole movies, our 3(bodydguar)D and our Pirate Of the Arabian, all rolled in one. His films represents everything that’s big, bad and means only box office these days. Fatema Kagalwala tries hard to dissect his latest one – Bodyguard. Read on….

“Strength doesn’t come from the ordeals that are thrown at you, but from crossing them. And surviving to tell the tale”

Not some gyaan-guru, it’s the higher self that kicked in with this gem to help overcome the devastating sheerkhurma that Bodyguard made out of her Eid.

But then, I wonder if something is a medium of spiritual insight as powerful as this, can it be bad?

(I see one Mr Siddique and one Mr Shirt-utaro Khan desperately saying no, but my higher self is sushsh-ing them vehemently right now. Not that they will listen I’m sure. Our collective higher selves haven’t stopped Anees Bazmee and Sajid Khan either, have they?)

As I step back and mull with an objective mind, my intuition tells me that Bodyguard is really not what it seems. You know there is a real crisis at the heart of the story, which we, the self-important, ivory tower vultures of meaningful cinema are overlooking. The hint lies in the name itself.

Bodyguard is about identity. Why else spend two+ hours going round and round in circles but begin at a Sallu-Bodyguard and end at Sallu-successful-something? Why else go ALL the way to Pune and Lonavla and climb the tallest hill stations of Maharashtra to make the point? Why get Kareena Kapoor, an almost style icon (Sorry dear word ‘style’) and pin her into the tackiest Linking Road outfits? Why would Salman Khan do a seemingly meaningless film ? Because, didn’t you know, Salman Khan can do no wrong?

So the identity crisis, yes. It begins with Divya who becomes Chhaya. She wants to throw this newly-dumped-on-her bodyguard and does so by impersonating as a swoonie in love with Shirtlessji. How that was supposed to help is left unexplored (or maybe it is one of those deep mysteries of the Universe we as humans are meant to solve? Paulo Coelho would’ve loved this riddle.) So Divya-turned-Chhaya actually falls in love with Hulk Hogan. And Chhaya becomes Divya when Divya is actually Divya. But Divya cannot be Chhaya as long as she is Divya because Mr Muscles (chhee, not the toilet cleaner, I meant Sallu) won’t accept Chhaya if she is Divya. Get the identity crisis bit now?

It is all about becoming. This would be the tag-line if Osho had made this film.

But it is not over yet. Chhaya is yet to become fully. So Dancing Muscles keeps joking around with a terrible fat man who is so-not-funny-it’s-not-a-joke. (There you have a sub-text for another identity crisis. A non-funny funny man trying to be funny so hard that he is anything but funny. Poor guy but brilliantly thoughtful writing) But neither do the muscles run out of proteins nor is Mr Siddique’s Eid biryani getting cold, so everyone takes their own time finding themselves and each other.

While they are at it, we shall look at other peripheral (but important!) characters weaving this very meaningful theme together. There is Raj Babbar, the Maalik and karta-dharta and the most terrible actor we have seen in a century barring his son of course. His identity crisis is subtle, metaphysical even, wherein he is struggling ever-so hard to prove to himself (not us, mind you) that after all these years he hasn’t lost his touch in the art of hamming and he can outdo even a stammering King at the job! His efforts at desperately trying to regain his forgotten identity are touching. And kudos to the director for giving him a chance. What compassion to his fellow human beings he has… Mother Teresa would have been so moved.

Back to the Chhaya search. The metaphor in the name itself is enlightening. Chhaya is an image, not the reality. And then she becomes Maya, an illusion. An explosively intuitive use of language and semantics makes Bodyguard Cannes material. And it is That Girl in Yellow Boots that gets to do festival rounds. Pathetic and shameful is the state of Bollywood.

But then Maya soon gets some debilitating disease (which I am assuming should be the ever-dependable cancer or TB, the good old 60’s-70’s devil since the film is so pre-historic too) and becomes an illusion herself. Her identity now remains only in the pages of a diary she has written for her little son a-la Tina and Anjali in Karan Johar’s “Its all about loving your friends.” (Double-meaning beast! And he claims he makes family entertainers) Maya also runs on the station platform to catch the train that toilet cleaner oops Muscle-man is on. Like the millions of youth who got an identity crisis after watching Soooo Romantic Khan (gag) pulling his girl onto the train, Six Sigma Servant gives out his hand too and invites this cute little chashmish illusion into his already confused life. It is inter-texuality and cinematic references such as these that make Bodyguard a deep, meaningful film. I guess I interpreted my intuition right after all.

So Maya becomes Chhaya just like Bairan became Bhairon but their lives don’t remain narrow. They multiply. But Siddique is a Gandhian (dunno if he follows Anna Hazare though, do you? That’s another identity crisis there but for another day). He believes in change being the only permanent thing, so Maya’s illusions end with her death but our troubles don’t. The new and improved Bodyguard goes back to HAMare maalik for his blessings before he flies to Australia. (Why not US? Oh it’s not a KJo film, silly). Son finds Divya and since Maya said she is Chhaya he wants to dump himself on her. Divya is torn, oh poor girl, but the ISO-certified naukar ‘accepts’ her and agrees to marry her. Was there anyone so dedicated? Why don’t our customer service centres learn something from him?

The end is a beautiful tryst of irony and fate in meaningful cinema wherein it is the ‘hero’ who finds himself and ‘becomes’. He learns of Divya’s identity as Chhaya and is moved (as much as Sallu’s face muscles can move that is) beyond words. So Divya does become Chhaya and Body lets his guard down to accept Divya as Chhaya and Chhaya as Divya and everyone forgets Maya. Sab khaya, piya, pachaya. (Burp!)

(Oh, there is also a villain who used to be a hero but continues to think he is still a hero, he even claims it onscreen. This bloomingly creative touch strengthens the very well-defined theme of identity crisis and finding oneself. I am too moved by the very deep spiritual journey of these characters that has been revealed to me and I need to do some soul-searching to connect with my real self ‘within’. So long! Until my higher self kicks in again, that is.)

Bigg Boss 4 – The list of new inmates is out and here is their claim to fame!

Posted: October 3, 2010 by moifightclub in News, television
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Here it is – The list of 14 inmates who are gonna entertain us for the next few weeks in Bigg Boss’ house. Two models to serve as eye candy, superchor, super dacoit, lawyer, two MMS scandal toppers, one motormouth, one beefy boy who made national headlines for wrong reasons, a cross-dresser, an actor & actress who were linked once, a non-controversial actor & actress to play the nice guy/gal roles – wow! It can’t get more colourful than this. And add Salman Khan as the new host of the show. Perfect.

Put the cursor on the pics to know more about them and their claim to fame.

She was 14. He was the first man to take her breath away. He is back in form. She is back in love. But something is missing says Fatema Kagalwala

Posted: September 16, 2010 by moifightclub in bollywood, film, film review, reviews
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Why ? Read on.

Let’s call it observations…

I love paisa vasool cinema. The front-bencher, seeti-maar type. The brazen ‘I am what I am, take it or leave it’ type. And if it has Sallu in an earthy, small-town part then I suck my teeth hard in anticipation. After all, at 14 this was the first man in my life to take my breath away.

Over the years, especially the last five or so he began to take my mind away and I relegated him to a parenthesis in my Bollyland likes.

But when the news of Dabangg hit the film circuit my ears perked up. No, I am not a dog, what I meant was I was all attention. Unusual name, small-town setting, earthy appeal (It looked like that at first!) and Sallu in a mouche! Touché! (No, I am not KM either.)

So the wait was a WAIT. Long-time since I had really waited for a film to release. Hud, hud Dabangg, Dabangg, Dabangg and Munni Badnaam Hui were playing endlessly in my mind.

Cut to stalls in a single-screen theatre, first day first show. I was tucked in quietly like an abla naari in a corner seat among jeering, leering, cheering crowd unable to hide her own enthusiasm. The audience was on an incredible high, catcalling and hooting much before the film had started. Even on trailors. If a director of those films had sneaked in to see audience reaction to his trailor, they just might have gone home thinking he has struck gold. No, the fact is Abhinav Kashyap, Salman Khan and Dabangg have struck gold.

Dabangg turned out to be an unabashed entertainer in love with its own gimmickery and un-self-conscious style. Sallu made me fall in love with him all over again, mouche and all.

He came striding against the sunlight in slo-mo against a thumping ‘Hud., Hud’ score and I knew I loved him again…you know that feeling…when you have loved with the gush of first love, heart beating at every phone ring, blushing-by-his-mere-mention type of love everyone scorns but secretly wishes for…and then you grow up and become all like a dry leaf with a stone for a heart pretending to be ‘mature’ but one day you meet that guy who made you understand the magic of spring…he looks different but that boyish charm is still there and you don’t know if he has changed…or forgotten…and you don’t know if you have forgiven…but then he smiles and you smile back and in that moment you love him again…a different kind of love that will remain and will now keep beating silently next to your heart asking for nothing…Well, I got carried away there, but you understand. Yes, I was back in love with Sallu. With that kind of love.

And Dabangg IS Sallu.

In marketing terms it means a repeat of the mad success of Wanted but in cinematic (I cringe to use a dignified word as that but I can’t find an alternative) terms it means Salman can get away with whatever he does.

I smiled and grinned as much at his antics, silly, stupid, oddball, endearing and all along enjoying the audience antics too. (This guy in formals sitting next to me evidently had bunked office to watch ‘first day first show’ kept dancing and laughing his guts out and every time he laughed he looked at me to share the joke. Quite cute. The ‘mature’ woman that I am I never looked back.)

But Dabangg works not because Sallu can get away with anything. It works because only he can do what he does. And he does it best here, by far. THAT is charming.

We have enough superstars who think they can get away with murder because their name sells, (AK, SRK, this K that K) and Sallu was one too until Dabangg happened. I mean, not that he is humbled or anything, anything but. I mean he kept committing murder till now and after a long long time has redeemed himself. Somewhat.

So what if it was with a film that had no story.

I can hear you waiting to shout, ‘you expected a STORY?’ What’s WRONG with you?’

But I thought that was the minimum I could expect, nai? Especially from a dhamaal, chavanni chhaap entertainer like Dabangg? (To be frank guys, I was expecting a LOT more but I always give credit where it is due.)

But I was willing to give up anything but not the small fact that it had a story missing…because it not only killed the film for me (I am a big girl, I can handle disappointment, you know.) but it killed itself. You know when a child has brilliant potential but he squanders it as he grows up by making the wrong choices? How do you feel when you look at that grown up? I felt the same way…

And why did I feel it let itself down when it promised dhamaal and gave dhamaal? I will illustrate with an example, the only one that has been continuously on my mind since I watched it. The 90’s saw a class act in the form of David Dhawan’s ‘Aankhen’. It starred three monkeys but what a show all three of them put up! As silly, stupid and oddball as it could get. Sometimes so slapstick you wanted to slap your forehead in frustration. But the film worked like a charm. Was it because of the charm of the central monkey who is still that generation’s Hero No.1? Not quite, it was because the film had a story and a crafty screenplay.

Dabangg did not have a story or story idea leave aside a screenplay. Its creative brief was ‘Salman Khan as he is’. For a ‘Coolie no.1’ or ‘Aunty no.1’ its ok. But it would have been criminal if ‘Aankhen’ went that path. All of us still love ‘Coolie no.1’ and ‘Aunty no.1’ (Oh, shut up, we all do. Next time, you are drunk tape yourself and listen to it the next morning!) but not as much as we love ‘Aankhen’. I loved Dabangg as much as I loved ‘Coolie no.1’ when it could have become an ‘Aankhen’.

Story-telling is an art fast dying in Bollywood. Style, technique and botoxed heroes are taking care of the gap.

But what was it that made kitsch so cool back then? Indraneel, one of the commentators makes a great point here. Kitsch entertainers were so superbly entertaining because side-characters were equally well-fleshed out and supported the hero every step. Same goes for the villain. In Dabangg neither the side-characters left an impact (and that was because of the way they were treated) nor did the villain. The enmity between the characters of Chhedi Singh and Chulbul Pandey was almost an after-thought, because the romance angle and father-son trouble angle ran out of steam. But WHY did they run out of it steam when each angle hand enough potential to contribute to making a complete enetertainer? Because the focus was the hero and nothing else.

Sad, when Salman Khan can be so much more than Salman Khan is. Oh, keep the chappals in control, he can. Of course he is not great, is often lazy but he is not as limited as he has been type-casted as. Not only is he a malleable actor, he is also is a class entertainer. He has vulnerability, can cry MUCH better than SRK and get into a character MUCH better than Aamir (even if its only of ‘Prem’, its STILL a character). Oh, and Sonakshi Sinha and he make a great pair I must say. Well, mostly because the way she has been styled. That sex appeal was electric and I was wondering, was it the same woman who looked so ‘saas-bahu’ type in pics??? And Dimple Kapadia and Vinod Khanna made me interested to watch the dynamics of a small-town middle-class family. Arbaaz Khan was err…never mind, and Mahi Gill made me cry. Not because of her great acting, but because of the miniscule role this super-talented girl was relegated to. Does the industry really have to be so unfair? I won’t even talk about Anupam Kher, Om Puri and Murli Sharma’s roles…

And so after, all my rambling the point is, the film is a super-hit, the audience tore a lot of clothes (and my eardrums) and Sallu is a hit hero again after a series of flops.

But there is also a tiny point we miss out on, in this hullabaloo about Sallu. (Hey, it rhymes!:D) Dabangg is made by a debutante director whose first film is so assured it does not seem a debut at all. The choices he makes in story-telling (or rather whatever is there of it) are discussions of another day but the promise he shows is a gleaming hope for the otherwise gloomy Bollywood horizon. Because this kind of film is the toughest to make AND pull off. You see, all of the old guard have become senile and the new guard knows nothing but malls and the other section who knows tons more will not touch Dabangg type cinema with a barge pole. So it’s heartening to see that there is still some hope for the regular badnaam masala Hindi film.

Just next time, Abhinav, please remember to put in a story. More than anything else, I think you deserve better.

And Sallu, you deserve much better too. And so do we. Keep our hopes alive!

First Look : Abhinav Kashyap’s Dabangg (Trailer) – Wanted Redux ?

Posted: July 22, 2010 by moifightclub in cinema
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One more directorial debut. Abhinav Kashyap, writer and brother of Anurag Kashyap is ready with his directorial debut – Dabangg. It stars Salman Khan, Arbaaz Khan and marks Shatrughan Sinha’s daughter Sonakshi Sinha’s debut.

We had heard lot of good things about the script and the film but when we got to know about the cast, were very skeptical about it.  And  surely we werent expecting this..it looks like Wanted Redux! Plus, Salman Khan’s firangi accent with seeti maaro dialogues and a story which is set in hinterland of North, with a filmy treatment that looks like typical South spice – complete mish-mash! But as the distributors say, hit hai sirji, hit hai! Naah, we are not the audience!

Thanx for the tip Sreeni_k.

First Look : Koochie Koochie Hota Hai’s trailer, Salman Khan is MIA & no hotdogs here!

Posted: February 15, 2010 by moifightclub in bollywood, cast & crew, first look, News, songs & videos
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As if one Shah Rukh Khan wasnt enough, now we have a doggie version too! Awwwww…wwwwful! Or is this the Aamir’s doggie who was named after King Khan ? Koochi Koochie Hota Hai is the animated (read doggie) version of Karan Johar’s Kuch Kuch Hota hai.

Its directed by Tarun Mansukhani and has voiceovers by Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol, Rani Mukherjee, Sanjay Dutt, Riteish Deshmukh, Simi Agarwal, Anupam Kher, Uday Chopra and Sajid Khan. Guess who is not here ? Salman Khan. Missing In Action. And you dont need to be genius to guess the reason.

And whoever thought about the “Koochie Koochie” title, needs to get into doggie avatar soon. Woof teri ada, woof tera badan, woof woof tera ya title! The trailer looks, sounds and feels terrible! And more so, because in a year when UP makes it to the Oscar nomination in the Best Film category, we are still rewinding back to Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Spare us. We are not buying the tickets! Feels like its made for Under-5 category! Take a look.

  

Film Reviews : Salman Khan’s Veer

Posted: January 22, 2010 by moifightclub in bollywood, cast & crew, cinema, film review, News, reviews
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This friday, its the attack of the Pindharis! Anil Gadar Sharma returns with Veer starring Salman Khan, Zarine Khan, Mithun Chakraborty, Sohail Khan and Jackie Shroff. The story is by Salman Khan. Beat this!

Here are some early reviews which suggests that Veer belongs to that rare dud tribe who die on their birthday! Born to die friday Species.

Anupama Chopra (NDTV) – The best thing about Veer is that it is comic book cinema no pretensions. Without a trace of embarrassment or apology, Sharma goes full throttle on speeches to the motherland, honour, mardangi. And as Manmohan Desai told us decades ago: Mard ko dard nahin hota, so Veer snarls and slices through men without pausing for breath – 2.5/5

Raja Sen (Rediff) – The son of a legendary hero grows up and attempts to follow in his father’s footsteps, however bloodthirsty this road may be. It is standard Bollywood cliche, but Salim Khan, one of our most iconic screenwriters, deserves a better tribute than son Salman, credited for the film’s story, churning out this unbelievably hackneyed period disaster – 1/5

Gaurav Malani (ET) – Salman Khan gives a powerful performance in real sense. He is so prominent in the film that not even his brother Sohail Khan gets one consolation scene. Mithun Chakravarthy is the only one who stands on his own other than Salman Khan. Zarine Khan is a replica of Katrina Kaif and using the same dubbing artist adds to the analogy. Lisa Lazarus is absolutely wasted in a 2 scene role. Jackie Shroff is repetitive in his villainous act. You have to be a braveheart to watch Veer – 2/5

Shubhra Gupta (India Express) – Salman is the last Khan standing. It makes not a whit of difference to him and his directors that the space for retrofitted 70s packages has shrunk to nothing : Salman, In and As Veer, defiantly dances, romances, and bests his enemies in combat— hand-to-bare hand, and because `Veer’ is allegedly a period film, sword-to-clanging sword – 2/5

Taran Adarsh (Indiafm) – VEER drives home a few hard facts…No amount of gloss can substitute for an engaging story. Not all directors are capable of pulling off a period film. No star – howsoever strong his rankings are – can infuse life in a comatose script – 1/5

Khalid Mohamed (PFC) – A battle’s on, followed by much prattle. How they rattle on about the British Raj and a desert-principality presided over by a king, mostly garbed in outfits which are crow-black. Quite tack. In effect, then, Veer is a waste or resources, talent and of course, our time..and ticket money – 2/5

Rajeev Masand (CNN IBN) – Even if you’re willing to forgive all the historical inaccuracies and the complete disregard for detail, Veer starring Salman Khan, is still an impossible film to appreciate.Unacceptable in these times. From Cameron’s Pandora to Anil Sharma’s Pindhari, we’ve come a long way baby – 2/5

Nikhat Kazmi (TOI) – Now no one’s doubting the fact that Salman Khan’s a thoroughbred veer. For, it does take a whole lot of bravado to pick up a blast from the buried past and present it an age when everyone is determined to tell a brand new story in Bollywood. Of course, films like Lagaan and Jodhaa Akbar did manage to strike a chord with the newbie viewers too, but they were more like exceptions to the rule. By and large, the scheming Brits and their grab-India story has been confined to the creative bin when it comes to modern Indian cinema, song and literature – 2.5/5

Mayank Shekhar (HT) – It belongs more to Bollywood of back in the day: a song designated for smokers every few minutes; crispness, hardly a narrative virtue; three hours, the accepted clock-time. And yet in trying so hard to win acclaim and scale, the film goes all over the place – *Gladiator, Troy, Braveheart* – complicating matters for its easy viewers – 1.5/5

Minty Tejpal ( Mumbai Mirror) – Veer is a very, very terrible film, which has lots of thudding hoofs, bloodstained swords, chopped-off heads plus brawny men hooting and fighting. What Veer doesn’t have is any kind of a script or a director, forget about any other related sense or sensibility. The film is a brutal assault on all your senses, with lousy direction constantly competing with mediocre acting struggling with a garbled period story, and one has to indeed be very ‘veer’ not to cry and run away in sheer fright – 1/5

Seems like Veer is already headed for Veer-gati!

Film Reviews : Blue, All The Best and Main Aur Mrs Khanna

Posted: October 16, 2009 by moifightclub in bollywood, cinema, film review, News, reviews
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Its diwali time! And though there is no SRK release this diwali but there are three big releases. And all multi starrer films. We are yet not tempted to watch any of the three but lets see who scores how much. The early reviews…

BlueBlue, the 100 crore film directed by debutant Anthony D’Souza stars Akshay Kumar, Sanjay Dutt, Lara Dutt and Zayed Khan.

Anupama Chopra (NDTV) – Clearly Anthony D’Souza has ambition. He set out to give Indian audiences a new type of exotic thriller. But he got so busy orchestrating the king-sized stars, the equally big sharks and the blinding bling of the film that he forgot the basic connective tissue: the script. Blue is all washed up. See it if you must – 2/5

Rajeev Masand (CNN-IBN) – Blue, directed by Anthony D’souza is a brainless, forgettable action-thriller that quickly sinks without a trace. Let me say this right away: anyone expecting anything other than the sight of Lara Dutta in a skimpy bikini, or indeed Akshay Kumar with his shirt off, is going to be very disappointed – 1.5/5

Minty Tejpal (Mumbai Mirror) – This one could turn out to be as big a disaster as the Titanic. By Titanic, I mean the actual ship that sank, not the film that soared to the sky. Industry reports say that Blue cost over Rs 120 crores to produce and it seems that none of that fancy moolah went into script development. A large amount must have gone towards singer Kylie Minogue, whose appearance is a mere marketing gimmick  – 1 / 5

Chandrima Pal (Rediff) – Blue was supposed to be a thriller. But if you made Captain Haddock of Tintin fame watch it, I am sure he would exclaim : Blue blistering barnacles! – 2/5

Jaya Biswas (Buzz18) – Blue could have been much more shorter. Come on, audience would rather watch all about the marine life on NatGeo or Animal Planet. Feeling blue? – 1.5/5

Taran Adarsh (Indiafm) – On the whole, BLUE has style as well as substance. The film has everything going in its favour, right from its incredible star cast to the superb action scenes to the hitherto unseen marine life to the tremendous hype and hoopla. At the box-office, BLUE will strike like a hurricane in the festive week – 4/5

Khalid Mohamed (PFC) – Blue is one bloomer of a movie. Don’t even think of all the crores spent on this kiddish enterprise. That’ll just leave you with one helluva sinking feeling – 1/5 and that’s being generous.

Gaurav Malani (ET) – Blue doesn’t glue you to the seat. Rather its corniness can make you see red – 2/5

Nikhat Kazmi (TOI) – Amongst the lead players, Sanjay looks a bit out of shape, Zayed is fresh and adequate, while Akshay keeps you guessing about his ethical moorings. The girls, Lara and Katrina, sashay down the screen with aplomb, adding the requisite oomph in this high-on-visuals drama. Go, feast your eyes on brawn and cheesecake – 3.5 / 5

It seems Blue is going to make you feel blue this diwali!

All the BestThe other big release of the week is All The Best directed by Rohit Shetty (Golmaal, Golmaal Returns) and stars Ajay Devgan, Sanjay Dutt, Bipasha Basu, Fardeen Khan and Mugdha Godse.

Anupama Chopra (NDTV) – All the Best is gleefully and unpretentiously moronic. I know film critics should set the bar higher but honestly, this is probably the most fun you’ll have in a theater this weekend. Go for It – 3/5

Taran Adarsh (Indiafm) – On the whole, ALL THE BEST is fun and laughter unlimited. At the box-office, the festive period coupled with the solid track record of Ajay Devgn and Rohit Shetty and also the strong merits will ensure ample footfalls at cineplexes, making its investors laugh all the way to the bank. Recommended! – 3.5/5 

Rajeev Masand (CNN-IBN) – Tucked away beneath those pointless songs and some ridiculous, overblown action scenes is a silly yet surprisingly enjoyable tale of misunderstandings and mistaken identities. Like most Bollywood comedies these days, All The Best is far too long, but it has a winning combination of cleverly crude humour and genuine sweetness – 3/5

Khalid Mohamed (Khalid’s Spot) – To be sure there are sight-`n’-sound gags which do pay off in Rohit Shetty’s All the Best, adapted from Paritosh Painter’s stageplay Uncle Samjha Karo, which itself was cadged from the 1960s farce Right Bed, Wrong Husband. Add to that a touch of Come September (1961) and you’re likely to gobble down one helluva fusion cuisine mishmash. Hang on though. In fact, the yay-yay news is that the result is digestible, perfect for a couple of laughs, a few titters and a haw-haw bellylaugh. Hyuk nyuk – 2.5 / 5

Minty Tejpal (Mumbai Mirror) – Once you are in the stupid comedy zone, story or logic becomes irrelevant, while the main idea is to be as foolish as possible, in which endeavour this film succeeds. What fun it must be cooking up these stories – 3/5

Nikhat Kazmi (TOI) – By far, this one’s not a rip-roaring comedy, but does make-do for some Diwali masti – 3/5

Parmita Uniyal (Hindustan Times) – Overall, if your doctor has advised you laughter therapy, then go watch All the Best. Ingredients of the medicine? Hilarious moments, rib-tickling dialogues, crisp editing, mind boggling situations, minus double meaning dialogues this time – 3/5 

Anand Vaishnav (Buzz18) – Despite a shaky start, All The Best works well as a comedy. It’s a clean sitcom packed with clever punches and witty one liners. This one’s for the entire family during the festive season – 3/5

Gaurav Malani (Indiatimes) – Supposedly based on an American play Right Bed Wrong Husband , Rohit Shetty’s All The Best is modeled as a comedy of mistaken identities finding its desi -siblings in Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s Chukpe Chupke and Anees Bazmee’s No Entry . Though not as simple as the former or smart as latter, the comedy still clicks with its unstable blend of story, style, sense, slapstick and stunts – 3/5

Main Aur Mrs KhannaAnd the third one is Main Aur Mrs Khanna by debutant Prem Soni, starring Salman Khan, Kareena Kapoor and Sohail Khan.

NDTV (Anupama Chopra) – Not surprisingly, the film sinks like a stone. Much of the action in Main Aur Mrs Khanna takes place at the airport. But thats not the only reason you will feel like you are stuck in transit. Steer clear – 1.5/5

Rajeev Masand (CNN-IBN) – Main Aurr Mrs Khanna is what they call a “home production” in Bollywood slang. It’s the kind of film a star agrees to do in exchange for a fat salary that pays for his or her dream home. When the deal is so good, you don’t raise questions about the script – 1/5

Taran Adarsh (Indiafm) – On the whole, MAIN AURR MRS. KHANNA is weak in merits. At the box-office, the BLUE wave, followed by another strong opposition in ALL THE BEST will sideline MAIN AURR MRS. KHANNA completely. It’s a non-starter – 1.5 / 5 

Rediff – We wonder what made Salman say yes to Prem Soni’s directorial debut when he had already done a film on a similar topic in Shaadi Karke Phas Gaya Yaar. Surely it’s not to revive his brother Sohail’s (he is the producer of MAMK) flagging career ? Well, whatever the reason, don’t hold your breath : Main Aur Mrs Khanna is a failed attempt – 1.5/5

Minty Tejpal (Mumbai Mirror) – What a slow, strange, boring film which starts with nothing and then gratingly proceeds to go nowhere. Directed by a debutante, Main Aurr Mrs Khanna is like a little moral fable that could well have been summed up in a simple greeting card. They sure as hell didn’t need the entire movie, and certainly not stars like Salman Khan and Kareena Kapoor.Did either of them even read the script before signing on, or was it all for brother Sohail Khan? – 1 / 5

Suranjana Nandy (Buzz18) – Main Aurr Mrs Khanna is not entertaining in the accepted sense of the word. But it’s a neat little film which teaches a lot about life. It’s not fun, it’s meaningful. It definitely isn’t Oscar material, but it (and I’ll use this much abused phrase here) has its heart in the right place – 3/5

Nikhat Kazmi ( TOI) – For, Main aurr Mrs Khanna seems to have no passion at all. Neither love, nor anger, nor pain, nor envy. In an attempt to create a low key drama, debutant director, Prem Soni divests his film of all energy. Truly, this must be Kareena’s most thanda performance which fails to strike a single chord. So unlike the feisty actor! – 2 / 5

Huh! Looks like this diwali there is no fireworks ath the box office! We are dialling our video rental library. What are you doing ?

Film Reviews : Dil Bole Hadippa and Wanted

Posted: September 18, 2009 by moifightclub in bollywood, cast & crew, News, reviews
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Dil Bole HadippaTwo big releases this friday. Though neither my Dil Bole Hadippa nor my dimaag WANTs anything. Few early reviews are out. Check out!

Dil Bole Hadippa is directed by debutant Anurag Singh, produced by Yashraj Films and stars Rani Mukherjee and Shahid Kapoor.

Anupama Chopra (NDTV) – Dil Bole… is worth seeing for the sweetness and charm that Rani and Shahid conjure up. Catch it if you have nothing else going on this weekend – 2.5/5

Sukanya Verma (Rediff) – If you can discount some of the Veer-Zaara inspired cheesiness to follow along with terrible exercises of humour – namely broken Hinglish exchanges (You Kaala bhainslo, yadda yadda) and gems like, ‘Yeh Indian dil hai. Cello tape se nahi Judta and a reaa-llll-yy long climax, your ‘Dil’ might just find enough strength to mutter ‘Hadippa’. Ha, like that’s ever going to happen – 2.5/5

Anand Vaishnav (Buzz18) – It’s a long weekend ahead. And Dil Bole Hadippa is just the kind of movie you will enjoy with your family. This one is an easy watch – 2.5/5

Gaurav Malani (Indiatimes) – Dil Bole Hadippa comes as another feel ‘good’ film from the Yash Raj banner but off late audiences have upgraded to ‘better’ narratives – 2.5/5

Taran Adarsh (Indiafm) – On the whole, DIL BOLE HADIPPA is an ordinary fare. At the box-office, the film has some chances in North mainly thanks to the Punjabi flavour. The holidays ahead may help its prospects at plexes essentially, but the single screens will be dull – 2/5 

Rajeev Masand (CNN IBN) – it’s a crushing bore of a film that’s neither thrilling in its cricket scenes, nor entertaining in its humour. What’s it going to take to expect some originality and inventiveness from one of the biggest players in Bollywood? To be honest, dil bole sudharjaa! – 1.5/5

Minty Tejpal (Mumbai Mirror) – For Rani fans, it’s a must watch, the rest can go see Wanted instead – 2/5

Kaveree Bamzai (India Today) – What do you say to a movie which is a cross between Veer Zaara and Chak De! India? With large dollops of Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge thrown in? YRF has developed a niche niche now-Punjabi films about sports and involving Pakistan -2/5

Khalid Mohamed (Aslibaat) – Next time around, you do wish the Chopras would show more of Punjab than its mustard fields, dupatta-cholis, trucks and tractors. Till then, this cricket balle balle makes for a fairly engrossing matinee – 3/5

Mayank Shekhar (Hindustan Times) – As an idea, this remains still a full-on film festival designed around the female lead. She is decent. She usually is. But, what is this film? – 1/5


WantedWANTED is directed by Prabhu Deva and stars Salman Khan, Ayesha Takia and Prakash Raj.

Taran Adarsh (Indiafm) – On the whole, WANTED rides on Salman, Salman and only Salman Khan’s star power. A masala film that’s aimed at the masses, WANTED is backed by tremendous hype and hoopla, which will result in the film taking an earth-shattering start at the ticket window – 4/5

Anupama Chopra (NDTV) – Yes, there is plenty here for action buffs, including a ripped, shirtless Salman going on a killing spree in the climax. The rest of us should just steer clear – 1.5/5

Raja Sen (Rediff) – Khan might be having fun, but the fact a film like Wanted underscores is how badly Bollywood needs a breed of younger leading men. And how the existing lot need roles that fit – 2/5 

Rajeev Masand (CNN IBN) – For die-hard fans of the star who don’t have a problem with extreme violence and juvenile comedy, this might be a treat. For others though, it’s strictly average entertainment. Carry cotton for your ears and a Crocin for the headache – 2/5

Minty Tejpal (Mumbai Mirror) – In a nation where crooks sit in Parliament and mammoth corruption scandals are made to disappear conveniently, Salman Khan is the real poster bad boy, an Indian icon far truer than most other created ‘brands’ around. So let us celebrate the self-man, instead of constantly denigrating him – 4/5

Kaveree Bamzai (India Today) – The question why occurs to you several times during the movie. Why was it remade in Hindi? Why did Salman work so hard for a film that was so obviously coming after Ghajini had been there and done that? And why did Boney Kapoor spend so much money on making this? – 1/5

Khalid Mohamed (Aslibaat) – Sure, Salman Khan strives to be uber cool;  it’s only because of his star presence that you watch this potty pourri. Otherwise, for most of those seeking three hours of a chill-out at the multiplex, Wanted is about as desirable as bullets-‘n’-guns in your boudoir – 2/5

Mayank Shekhar (Hindustan Times) – The hinterlands will be happy. But what’s the story? Well. That’s what producer Kapoor paid up Rs 12 crore in copyrights for, by the way. Such s**t, better be hit! – 1.5/5

Jaya Biswas (Buzz18) – An out-and-out entertainer, Salman is sure to enthrall you not only with his action but his brilliant dance steps – 3/5

Gaurav Malani (Indiatimes) – There are times when you care a damn for nutrition and want to indulge in some lip-smacking junk food. Wanted is just that recipe. Never mind some extra calories! Try watching it in a single screen – the cheese melts faster there – 3/5

So, its 2.5 for Dil Bole Hadippa and Wanted has scored on both the extremes! 

First look : Vipul Shah’s London Dreams (theatrical trailer)

Posted: August 25, 2009 by moifightclub in bollywood, cast & crew, first look, News, songs & videos
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The first look of Vipul Shah’s big budget London Dreams is out. The film stars Salman Khan, Ajay Devgan and Asin. The video quality is not very good but if you are too curious, do check out.

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