And the “2011 Rewind” series continues. You can read our previous posts here (honest movie posters), here (Bollywood songs we looped), here (Non-bollywood hits of the year), here (exciting moments at the movies), and here (films which dared to bend the rules). Also, we are scooping some of the best year-end lists here.
Like last year, in this post we have tried to dissect what we learnt at the movies this year – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the questions that baffled us through out the year.
20 Things We Learnt At The Movies
1. Zoya Akhtar is a better filmmaker than Farhan Akhtar. 2/2 > 1.5/4. LBC + ZNMD > DCH + 1/2Lakshya
2. Nikhil Advani scored a dud hattrick and proved again that KHNH was indeed directed by Karan Johar. Patiala House.
3. Big B can’t sell tickets anymore. He is hit on the small screen but is a flop on the big screen. KBC. BHTB. Even when he was in his best commercial avatar, the excuses given were many – low budget, recovery before release, satellite rights.
4. Creative collaboration with spouses and family is not a bright idea. Dhobi Ghat. TGIYB. Mausam. Tere Mere Phere. Love Breakups Zindagi.
5. B for Bachchan. B for Bhagnani. B for Box Office. But you never know which way the last B will swing. Even Jackie B’s film can score better than Abhishek B’s film. Faltu. Game.
6. Tusshar Kapoor still can’t act. He was the odd man out even when the films scored – either critically acclaimed Shor In The City or commercial hit The Dirty Picture. His pillow dance in TDP can give nightmare to anyone.
Dear Ekta Kapoor, let him go. Even Aditya Chopra has given up on Uday Chopra.
7. You can’t calculate the target audience and then make films according to it. Otherwise Y Films’ Luv Ka The End and Mujhse Fraaandship Karoge would have been blockbusters. Pre-release claim – 60% (?) of theatre going audience is youth. Post-release – we recovered our costs.
8. Every filmmaker has one great film in him/her. Some people make their debut with that one. Tigmanshu Dhulia is done with it. Stop expecting. Shagird. Sahid Biwi Aur Gangster.
9. When it comes to Ramu, camera and dildo have the same purpose, interest and area of specialisation. NALS.
10. Prakash Jha creates political events but has no clue about political films now. Raajneeti was a joke, and we are not sure how to describe the awful Aarakshan.
11. Imtiaz Ali will keep churning out films based on his single template of romance. He knows it but doesn’t know what to do about it. Rockstar.
12. Himesh Reshammiya is not going to give up so soon. Let’s all pray. Damadamm! In 2012 he has more.
13. Dad + Sons > Mom + Daughter. Deols. Yamla Pagla Deewana. Tell Me O Kkhuda.
14. Remake is NOT a hit formula. Soundtrack was a mess.
15. We don’t need superheroes. Our heroes can do everything. Ra One. Zokkomon.
16. Bhai-porn is here to stay. We are still not bored. Ready. Bodyguard.
17. Indian Mens Are Hot. Courtesy Anil Kapoor. Mission Impossible : Ghost Protocol.
18. Sex and Shah Rukh Khan still sells. Ra One. Murder 2. Don 2. The Dirty Picture.
19. When an actress gets into film production, it means her career is officially over. Lara Dutta. Dia Mirza, Ameesha Patel. Shilpa Shetty.
20. We still haven’t lost A R Rahman to the west. When he delivers, he is the best. Rockstar.
10 Unanswered Questions
1. Will the real Abhinay Deo please stand up? Which one to trust – Game or Delhi Belly?
2. Who read the script of Game and approved it?
3. Who thought about changing Mimoh’s name to Mahakshay?
4. In which camera do you have the option of in-built subtitles? And for ghosts? Ragini MMS.
5. Who added extra ‘B’ in Bbuddah, extra ‘K’ In Tell Me O Kkhuda, extra ‘A’s in Mujhse Fraaandship Karoge and what purpose they served?
6. Is his name Bumpy? Just Bumpy? Really? Luv Ka The End.
7. In how many more films will we see Vinay Pathak in lead role and doing the same bumbling fool act? This year he had five releases. Yes, five!
8. Can G. One fly? If so, why does he need to travel in a plane? Ra One.
9. Always Kabhi Kabhi – Who is the brain behind the weirdest title of the year?
10. Who is Nagesh Kukunoor?
And what’s your list? What all you discovered or learnt at the movies this year? And what all remains unanswered? Do let us know in comments.
F.i.g.h.t C.l.u.b 
Amitabh Bachchan cant sell tickets anymore, this is indeed a good read
First of all,what great post dude.
Things which I learnt from movys this year :
Y-films suckiest production house.
We are proud of our lack of creativity. Official n unofficial remakes
Deols should start some other business.
First of all,what great post dude.
Things which I learnt from movys this year :
Y-films suckiest production house.
We are proud of our lack of creativity. Official n unofficial remakes
Deols should start some other business than films.
Shahrukh nd Salman are beyond logic n so r their muvys.
Our bolly stars behave lyk kids when they see hollywood stars.
UTV needs to hire better people. They are churning out bad aftr bad films.
5d is a vamp, it all depends upon director. Ramu vs Amol Gupte
If your dad hav enuf money, a bollywood muvy with u in a lead role is a candy. U dont even need to learn how to suck this candy. – paswan junior.
ALL ELSE IN BUSINESS ARE JUST BITCHY, TARAN ADARSH IS THE GREATEST BOLLYWOOD CRITIC EVER.
Come’on Tusshar was good in Shor in the city.
I know the answer to o of your questions 😀
correction – I meant one
Nice post..interesting read..again.
But yaar.. sahib biwi n gangster wasn’t really that bad..2nd half was convoluted..agreed.. also the climax let’s-murder-everyone was not really intelligent. Wo kehte hain na.. ‘raita phela to dia..samet nahi paye’… Yet..it was fine..
But I guess from someone who made Haasil..fine is not good enough. Would be tough for the guy to match Haasil’s status.
N yesss..
Bhai-porn…hahahaha..
Nice post… Gr8 Job!! And Rahman sahab rules…
One unanswered question: What is He making next- Deshdrohi 2? Love Story Of 3 Khans? Hostel Mein Item? Naukri Chahiye Chhokri La?
hillarious and true! spot on for tigmanshu…kuch logo ko sab kuch ek bar me hi haasil ho jata hai.
Sir me thinks u being too harsh on tishu. SBG was pretty interesting yaar.
3 more learnings:
1. A Dalit student leader in cow-belt CAN HAVE an American accent. (Saif in Jha’s magnum-oops.)
2. Chitrangada Singh was a false alarm.
3. People may buy any shit on Diwali, but not EVERY Diwali.
Agree that this lists on this blog are stupid? Need a better list? Here you go: ( http://mihirfadnavis.blogspot.com/2011/12/10-best-bollywood-films-of-2011.html )
Also visit my blog at ( http://mihirfadnavis.blogspot.com/ ) to stay tuned with latest updates and continuous celeb-bashing with spiteful propagandas. Also, on my blog you’ll find all my reviews, which lack in content but are funny to read nonetheless.
Follow me on twitter @mihirfadnavis where I’ll plug reviews at least 3-4 times a day to make sure you read them and my opinion is heard. Yes, I’m crazy like that, I am Rex Reed of India (exaggerated) and I am epitome of everything that is wrong with film-criticism(?) .
Mihir Fadnavis.
I forgot to mention that on twitter I bash and abuse celebrities but do not have the balls to tag them with their twitter ids. I am cool but got no balls.
Dear mr fadnavis.
Why this kolaveri Di ?
Fadnavis ka classy fan kaun hai yeh?
Bataane ka time bhi hai..mood bhi hai..lekin nahin bataunga, to kya kar loge?
Mat bataao yaar. Par aate jaate rahna! Achha lagega.
7- ” You can’t calculate the target audience and then make films according to it.” Desperately supported by Artistic people and highly opposed by MBA’s who are fed on the grass of Kotler.
11- While what Imtiaz Ali is doing the mass manufacturing of the films over his patented formula. And this formula is running out of steam. Music is only saving factor in his movies. He is going in Anees Bazmee way gradually..
Pyaar ka Panchnama atleast deserve mention in the list if himesh Reshamiya deserve a big photgraph in this blog post !
Excellent Post. Besssht Comments. someone who writes comments using someone else’s name has got the Balls! Wow!
1. No matter what you do, taran adarsh will keep on saying – Desi Boyz was chitrangdha’s ‘commercial film debut’
Ye saali zindagi was an art film? so was sorry bhai?…i give up
2. No matter how good a film does, Irrfan khan will appear only once or twice a year. Paagal saala! 🙂 W
[…] We were wrong about Tigmanshu Dhulia. See point no. 8 in our 2011 post. Plus, he is a terrific […]