Heroine : Can you DARE to crack the ‘Bhandarkarism’ code?

Posted: July 26, 2012 by moifightclub in Aao guess karein, bollywood, film
Tags: ,

How many times can you make the same film?

Or at least with the same template?

Only Madhur Bhandarkar can answer that question.

But one thing is for sure – Deja vu should really be Madhur Bhandarkar’s middle name.

And looks like his latest film “Heroine” is not going to be any different.

It started with a tweet by Mihir Fadnavis.

And then came the trailer of the film.

So does it follow the Bhandarkarism theory of filmmaking? You don’t need a high IQ to figure that out. But will there be any surprises? Are we missing anything? Or as DrDang pointed out in his tweet..

So no gays in the trailer so far. what else is missing?

Here’s the contest. You have to guess the story of Heroine. At least the main plot points. What happens next? The one who can guess the maximum number of plot points, will be the winner. We are not sure about the prize now but hopefully it will be something good for sure. If nothing, let’s play for cheap thrills! Because not everyday you get to apply the Theory Of Bhandarkarism. Just remember – every frame (of trailer) counts!

Post your answers in the comments section. We will declare the winner the day the film releases.

  1. binu nair says:

    kareena gona do a showstopper in one shot

  2. binu nair says:

    she will sleep with n number of ppl

  3. binu nair says:

    madhur himself in one shot

  4. Mahi Arora, an innocent/ conservative or/and small-town girl or/and star-stuck but from a non filmy background. Dreams of becoming an actress, sorry, a HEROINE . Parents disapprove. She runs. Mumbai. Struggles to get her portfolio made. Acquaints with a friend cum mentor (Shahana?) who ‘knows’ Bollywood Inside Out. Who also gets her somehow inside the industry. A meeting with a Director/Casting Person/ Agent happens. He acts fresh/rude in the audition. She gives it back to him. This ‘X’ factor quality gets her a part. Darling Tere Liye releases. Media loves her, fans mob her. Overnight Superstar. She forgets all her friends/mentors. Parties happen. Events happen. She starts smoking, drinking(occasionally), exposing. The works. She is on a roll. At one of these she meets star cricketer Hooda a la Yuvraj Singh. Sparks fly. Media reports. With time romance fizzles. She meets Rampal the Superstar a la Akki and they somehow become ‘Just Friends’. Media Reports. Talks of a film, epic romance film together. Gayatri Reddy (Godse?), leading lady senses competition (Probably Mahi steals a role or hero from under Gayatri). Both are cordial in person. Cat Fights/ Mud Slinging in the media. Reddy pulls some strings. Mahi becomes controversy’s favourite child. Annie press conference. She lambasts media. Suddenly things start to go wrong. Downhill. Rampal cheats, dumps her. (Rape?). Everyone dumps her. She goes ‘Kangana-tic’. She turns to all addictions full-time. This story probably is a flashback and Mahi is already dead, mostly a suicide.

  5. BTW shouldn’t the trailer by default go directly to your WTF section

  6. vml says:

    Is this even worth trying? MB is the laziest writer/director (followed by Imtiaz Ali) in the industry rehashing stuff and selling them as realistic cinema. It’ll be a sad day if Kareena wins a national award for this movie. Likely not, she has competition in Vidya Balan.

    • Dev Chand says:

      Imtiaz Ali isn’t lazy exactly, but I think his scripting standards have gone down recently.
      And do you mean to say that Vidya Balan is a bad actress?

      • vml says:

        I’ll change my mind about IA if his next movie is any different than his usual love stories. I’m not saying he’ll prove to be good (for me) if he makes something that is not a love story. Either his understanding of inter-personal politics/emotions between a couple is terrible or he’s plain lazy, and Cocktail proves it.

        Sorry, I didn’t mean to say Vidya Balan is a bad actress. What I meant was Kareena may not win national award for Heroine because Vidya may continue to have an edge over Kapoor for her performance in Kahaani.

  7. Filmy Dikro says:

    Firstly from what I had heard it when Ash was in the film that the basic plot is that this girl runs away from a brothel & lives her dream of a Heroine. (a la Miss Katherine Turqotte) And I dont think the script is changed.

    Secondly, her character is of a schizo! So she is in love with Arjun & he cheats on her & this coincides with her gradual downfall, she then finds solace in Randeep Hooda. He is rumoured to be playing a cricketer with grey shades. So its use & throw from both Arjun & Randeep. (& guess many more)

    Shahana Goswami must be playing the unconventional types like – Rani Mukherji or Vidya Balan (if you call her unconventional).

    And the trailer was thanda, not great, but saala yeh log khud ka hi pol kholte hain :

    Aap media waalon ko toh film scripts likhni chahiye.
    Agar Heroine ne Gaadi li – toh Businessman ne gift kar di. (Ameesha Ben)
    Diamond khareeda – toh Engagement ho gayi. (Miss Bimbo herself)
    Hospital gayi Check up ke liye – toh Abortion ho gaya. (Shilpa in late 90’s)
    LA gayi – toh Plastic Surgery karva li. (Kats, Plastic Chopra)
    Aur God forbid Dubai gayi – toh uska Rate Card ban jata hai. (Lolo)

    • vml says:

      I’ve decided not to watch Heroine because of those cheesy C-grade lines. KK performs like they are the best lines of her career!

    • asa says:

      exactly……….wonder how bimbo felt while saying the line on dubai

  8. Filmy Dikro says:

    And to add, Divya Dutta must be Kareena’s secretary or publicist, etc. The scene where Kareena & Shahana are dancing together seems to me like Manisha Koirala & Pooja Bhatt’s twosome parties.

    It is inspired from many bwood celebs – Katrina Kaif, Manisha Koirala or even the women of ”substance” Preity Zinta also!

  9. ramanand says:

    As the joke goes (h/t: my friend Salil), what would a MB film on dinosaurs be called? “Dinosaur”.

  10. there might be a dialogue made up with words ‘heroin’ and ‘heroine’

  11. Gita says:

    Story – born in a brothel – eyes big – gets into mainstream movies sleeping around – makes it big – becomes a sensation – her moody, attitude ways brings her down – she fails to understand good and bad people – to take revenge and get her position back – makes a false accusation on somebody – manipulation in short is heroine!

  12. saddahaq says:

    Shahana Goswami is either lesbian (a big leap from the stereotypical lgbt portrayal in his films) or is going to back stab Kareena by sleeping with some producer/actor fellow.

  13. His films are not films. They are just a collection of scenes that are aimed at shocking (supposedly) the audience bu showing the partial (but not complete) lifestyles of certain people in a certain environment. Yet, he claims it to be a realistic and ringside view of people in whole of that environment.. Things this film will show more than 2 or 3 of the following:

    1. Gays (either makeupmen or costume designers) – check
    2. Child abuse – check
    3. Casting couch or rather… Mothers/Fathers/Uncles of wannabe actress taking her to a hotel to meet the producer – check
    4. Drugs – check
    5. Smoking/drinking as a weakness arising out of insecurity – check
    6. Double-standards of actors who praise some old/veteran directors but do not accept their films. – check
    7. Fake humility – check
    8. Actors doing charity for publicity – – check
    9. accidents while drunken driving – check
    10. Heart of Gold – Major check
    11. Service to Politicians out of helplessness – check
    12. sleeping pills – check

    I might be missing many more. but the truth is that, Bhandarkar must have listed out things just as I did and then must have weaved a script around these things. So there is no organic construction of story. The story does not develop for the sake of story, but for the sake of including these elements in order to pep up stuff under “realism”. Realism my foot. While i dont mean to say that these elements do not exist in the industry, mere their existence doesn’t make a compelling story/execution.

    His next films:

    Hospital – The nexus between politicians, doctors (and nurses)
    Municipality –
    College – The nexus between teachers, exampaper leaks, students etc.
    Supermarket(the inside view) – A realistic view of oppression of workers there.
    Airport – Pilots, Ministers, Airhostesses,
    Railway station
    Lawyer – The ringside view of corruption in Courts and the rise of sleaze within the system
    Shopping mall
    Ration shop

    …. And many more.. All films shall explore their inner worlds realistically!

    Realistic director my foot!! Even A B-grade film-maker is better than this farcical director! Atleast he claims he is selling B-Grade stuff, unlike this Bhandarkar, who sells only TimesofIndia as films!

  14. Rachit says:

    1. kareena will see a meteoric rise in her career 2. she will bed numerous ppl 3. she ll have a genuine gay friend 4. she will become too big for her shoes 5. she will have a steep downfall 6. she will find solace in drugs n booze

  15. pratul_editor says:

    hav u guys seen ‘traffic signal’ ? . its d worst film dat has evr come in india n it got national award ..wtf

  16. amar khan says:

    really like reading this blog as film studnt bt dis is d first time im hating it,sab comments aise kr rhe hain jaise film bhandarkar ne nai inho ne likhi ho aise tou duniya ki almost har story same hi hoti hai,n dnt frget madhur made sum great films like satta ,chandni bar and fashion wen no word like realistic cinema existed.ye criticiam sesion tab create krna tha jb rowdy or bol bachchan jaiseeeeee shitness release hone wali thi.This film might b crap or wt evrrrrrrr bt it has d best ass ov bollywood kareena kapoorrrrrrrrr so anifin for her as she said in her press conference no one can fit into my size(balan).so kareena haterssss go dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:@@

    • SSD says:

      “it has d best ass ov bollywood kareena kapoorrrrrrrrr” This is perhaps the best argument I’ve read in support of the film. Lage raho bhaiyya!

  17. JB says:

    She goes to mumbai to become, not a star, but a super-star.

  18. How to do a Bhandarkar trailer mash-up?
    Just change the TITLE!

  19. ar says:

    like the lowest point in Pc’s life and the highest point in fashion was her sleeping with a black guy, I’m sure Kareena sleeps with an extra/ background dancer.

    • vml says:

      He should be thankful that he wasn’t accused of racism for the obviously racist scene in Fashion.

  20. Aman says:

    Madhur Bhandarkar is the Ravi Shastri of cinema

  21. Filmy Dikro says:

    I just cant bear this Bimbo Bebo. She was good in JWM. Thats it. Otherwise, what does she know except pouting, head tilting & her trademark narcissist dumb smile. I too am not going for this. Its like – been there done that. And her blind fans, uff, are really blind.

  22. Supertramp says:

    I notice your oeuvre is monochromatic.

  23. Sanju says:

    I think there is absolutely no point in criticising Madhur for his movie that hasnt been released as yet,i guess this also shows that how accurate we want ourselves to be in judging a book by its cover,i am sure we all feel some kind of a pride in doing that.If tomorrow Madhur makes a movie which would be completely opposite to the kind he makes then it would be the same people who would say noo..he shud stick to what he does the best.So why not shud he be doing what he’s good at…and ppl is it about madhur or Kareena you have issues with.

  24. asa says:

    KK will win a national award for this movie somehow…
    how about showing a lesbian instead of gay??
    drugs booze, sex with the wrong guy like priyanka had sex with a black male in fashion..

  25. drsapna says:

    How about some redemption? You’ve not got that in the mix yet 🙂 Also since the publicity machine will go overboard and the film will make money, this discussion will be redundant. So don’t even waste your time.

  26. MB made good movies. Chandani Bar , Satta, Page 3 .But i fail to understand why is he returning to his 1st one. Trishakti… He made a formula film . It bombed. Now he has devised his own theorem (read formula), and plainly following it.
    He dared once and succeeded ( Chandani Bar). Why can’t he dare once again ?
    Heroine doesn’t seem a daring attempt. It looks , feels, seems, what we know already… A script made of bits and pieces from Stardust, Filmfare and a bit of Mayapuri…

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