Posts Tagged ‘Stardust’

FilmfareTry these three steps if you are in desperate need for some cash.

First – Pick up any recent issue of Filmfare.

2nd – Lets put the bet. You say – Filmfare sucks!

3rd – Open the magazine. You will win!

Because week after week, they suck! And they are getting better at sucking upto the stars. The recent issue is a fashion special (ROFL, do they know the meaning of “special”? ) and they prove it again. It got nothing except the great cover pic ( Imran Khan & Sonam Kapoor). DONT buy and waste your money. Trust us! 

And here goes our dissection ( not specific to this issue) –

Editorial – Jitesh Pillai’s editorial should get the Razzies immediately, if there is any such award for editorial piece! He still sound like a star-stuck kid, and issue after issue he has the same thing to say….how much hard work they have put in the current copy! His editorial sounds more like a press release issued by some star’s publicist. Dude, go watch some “cinema”, look beyond the stars, stop sucking them for a while and if nothing works out, get a job as some star’s secretary. Your sucking up will help you for sure.  . 

Gossip – they serve old thakela goss. Read Mid-day and Mumbai Mirror instead and you get the best gossip every morning. Why wait for 2 weeks and pay more! Just for the gloss. Naah, doesnt make sense

Cover Story – Their covers are only A-list stars. There are hardly 20 A-list stars. And Filmfare has to do 24 covers in a year. They repeat, its d same shitty cycle – SRK, Aamir, Kareena, Saif, Bachchan and the same set of boring oooh-di-la-lah questions with equally boring answers! What are you eating, have you lost or gained weight, what are you shooting, nothing beyond that.

Interviews – They got the worst team of writers. Its a serious competition out there, who can write the worst piece. Since last few issues they are trying to have a more personal approach but nothing adds up to the drab copy. Do they even have copy editors ?

Sneak Peek – Here they still score some points, sometimes. May be, once in two months. Because they have one thing for sure. Access to the stars.

Features – Not a single damn bright idea! You wonder if the smooth glossy paper will make your arse feel better if you can use it for toilet paper!

Trend stories – They are the last one to spot the trends, after its been done to death in newspapers,magazine and tv channels.

Photo feature – Yes, they get the biggies here and some great pics too. But whoever writes the text with those pics, needs to be fired! Now!

Shatrughan Sinha’s Q n A – Is there anything new there ? Ramu’s blogs and his answers are more entertaining. And you dont have to pay for reading blogs.

Last piece – Jitesh, you dont have to do it again! Front and back. Just do it once dude. Or you like it both ways ? Its anyway fuckall, we can do without the bad aftertaste of the concluding piece.

And if you dont agree, just pick up the recent fashion special issue of Filmfare and tell us if you think there is any bright idea there. We will surrender. One page pic, one page of shitty writing, the magazine is full of it. There is nothing that you dont know or havent read. They havent tried anything new. New feature, new way of presenting, new text, nothing!

empireFor all you Filmfare fuckall fellas, here is something tht you must die. Go and check out the latest issue of Empire Magazine, the 20th anniversay special. Its a cover to die for! And you will get what we mean by the “big idea”! Magazine ho to waisa ho, warna na ho!

And oh yeh, we got money from Cineblitz and Stardust to write this nasty piece on Filmfare! Atleast they are honest, they dont suck upto anyone!