F.i.g.h.t C.l.u.b

If you like Chetan Bhagat or if you think he is the best thing to happen to desi writing or if you are desperately waiting for his next book Two States, then this place is injurious to you health. Kindly move on to next blog!

In Bollywood and Mumbai’s first class train compartements, people read only two authors. Chetan Bhagat and Paulo Coehlo. People have only two favourite books – The Alchemist and Five Point Someone. And I hate the smell of both the books! Chetan Bhagat is the shittiest thing to happen in desi writing in recent time. He is, what i call, potty writer! You read it while doing potty, finish it by the time your potty is over and then use it as tissue paper! Pure junk like McDonald’s and priced also at the same range! If someone is willing to sign my cousin who is in 5th standard, do let me know, he can also write the same.

No imagination, no thought, bad writing. Period. But too much of publicity! The three books by him are three mistakes of his life! And according to news reports, Raj Kumari Hirani’s Three Idiots is based on Chetan Bhagat’s Five Point Someone. WTF!! How is that possible ? I could not digest the news. Spent sleepless nights. How could Hirani do it ?

Its official! Vidhu Vinod Chopra bought the rights of the book. Bus aur kya! Chetan Bhagat went on promotional over drive. Some million interviews on how the next Aamir Khan film is based on his book and blah blah blah. Pics in some million poses and more!

I was surprsied, confiirmed it and found that its just the setting and nothing beyond that. But on one side it was me and the other side it was Chetan Bhagat and his million interviews. Nobody was willing to believe me that VVC and Hirani bought the rights only to be safe, so that nobody can question them later on.

Finally, Raj Kumar Hirani has clarified in this interview (read the second last question. hav copy pasted it here also)  to Mumbai Mirror that the film and the book is only 5% similar! Yes, just five percent!

Q. How true are you keeping 3 Idiots to the book by Chetan Bhagat Five Point Someone?

A. 3 Idiots is inspired from the book but it is completely different. I would say just five per cent of it is the same. Books and films are different. So the moment you decide to pick up a book and make a film as it is, it will be a disaster. It’s a nice book, but it’s anecdotal and films can’t be anecdotal. It has to have a story. The reason I mention this is because people should not go to the theatre thinking, we are going to watch Five Point Someone and later find out that it’s a completely different film.

Game over, Mr Bhagat! Am much relieved. Now can that potty writer Chetan Bhagat just shut the fuck up! Enough of him and his mistakes!

UPDATE (1st Jan 2010) – Click here to read all the details and the dope about the credit controversy of 3 Idiots. Vidhu Vinod Chopra VS Chetan Bhagat.