So whats “very rare” in this father-son-son-father-whatever-it-is story ? Club ICB reports.

Posted: December 8, 2009 by moifightclub in Bolly Jokes, bollywood, cast & crew, cinema, film review, News, shit, Thoughts
Tags: , , , , , ,

Finally managed to catch Paa. The film which is touching every heart, making everyone cry, the “very rare” story. The “moving” film of the year.

Not sure what “very rare” exactly means. Beacuse we always felt that the word “rare” has “very” attached to it. May be Balki can explain it better. But here is the list of “very rare” things that we discovered in “Paa”.

1. The film moves in montages. Some 15-20 montages. No scenes, no dialogues. Everytime you are stuck, the answer is simple. So how does it happen ? Just play the background music and put the visuals. It doesnt matter, just increase the volume, it will flow. Father-Mother meet. Check montage. Father-son meet. Check montage. Politician goes for the act. Check montage. Kingfisher Airlines. Check Montage. The list is long and its boring!

2. Paa is the official theatrical trailer of Ramu’s next release Rann. Big B does it religiously, almost everyday, before going to bed. He blogs about it. The Small D has done it on the big screen. He suddenly goes for the big expose, which has no relation, no meaning to the main story. Media-bashing! And the way its done, we thought it looked like an internship project of  B-handarkar Woods International. Has B-alki done a short-term course from there ?

3. Paresh Rawal has one dialogue after every 12 minutes 52 seconds. And interestingly, it doesnt matter what he says, why he says and where he says. He is there to make you smile.

4. Balki is obsessesd with two things. Age – over age, under age, age difference. And over-smart kids who will mouth over-smart lines and will tickle your funny bones.

5. It breaks every rule of screenwriting. Even the eternal ones. Remember “dont say, show it”. Jaya Bachchan makes a special appearance to “say” the entire credit roll. Why ? Because its “very rare”.

6. Progeria ? Whats that ? Its a “very rare” disease. And ? And thats it. Synonym – Prosthetics.

7. The most important relationship in the film – Paa & Progeria. What do you feel when you see the bond ? Nothing. Because its cut to one more song. Check montage. There is nothing more to it. Where is the bond ? The relationship ? The “very rare” father-son-son-father-whatever-it-is ? Remember Masoom and that killer line – Kya main aapko Daddy bula sakta hoon ? The ever reliable Naseeruddin Shah & Jugal Hansraj at his career’s best. The montage works only when there is a pre-roll and post-roll to it. Otherwise, its nothing. 

8. A very-rare mutant creature on top of a clock. Is it a fish, a cockroach, a bird, a plane or a super-insect ? Every 15 minutes, there is a shot of it. Why ? Because its “very rare”. The most repetitive visual. Time’s running out!

9. Is Vidya Balan the new brand ambassador for FabIndia or some such brands. Every scene, she is in a new saree that reminds you of the previous one. Sometimes, even in one scene there are few saree changes. (Courtesy – my friend Deepak confirmed it). The film can be alternately titled Saree-spotting!

10.  Balki = Pure Gimmick = “Very Rare” talent. Give him 15 seconds and he will rock. His advertising background explains that. The promos of Cheeni Kum and Paa re-confirms it. Like Cheeni Kum, Paa is just 15 seconds idea with some smart one-liners. All that you need in advertising.

Everything else is a mess. A big mess, which is boring and is desperately begging for sympathy. Not sure if any kind of glycerine will also help in that cheesy death scene.

OR are we the only members left in the Club ICB ? Not actually, if you read the Guardian and The New York Times reviews. Click here and here to read the reviews.

And one thats not rare….

Arundhati Nag. She is still the same. Such natural presence. In every scene, whenever she is there, the keyword is effortless acting. Can we please see her more often!

PS : ICB – Inglourious Cynical Basterds. 

  1. Stone says:

    Exactly my point….father-son relationship? where ?? how??

    It’s all hype..and intelligently done teasers are drawing the crowd. Just plain curiosity to see something different.

    Auro is abt to be 13, and AB jr is 34, and that means AB jr was ard 20 when Auro was conceived. But AB jr hardly looked 20-21 in those scenes.

  2. Manu Warrier says:

    Great observation, i haven’t seen the film, but the film is full of writing blunders as pointed out on the article. frankly what I feel is our audience needs to have some basic film appreciation course before entering a theatre. Another case of an indulgent film maker trying to be different without a purpose or “very rare” as you point out.

  3. Arijit says:

    I agree with most of the things that are said in this. This is perhaps the first review which sort of demystifies the aura that has engulfed auro…:)…the film is mostly clunky and the only relationships worth talking about are the ones between vidya balan-amitabh bachchan and arundhati naag-amitabh bachchan…abhisek looks so hopeless in front of the other actors…and he has that “i am so cool” attitude stamped all over him…the ending is in fact quite pathetic…

  4. pardemeinrehnedo says:

    extremely unrelated comment. Apologies

    – we want the post on your goa experiences, and the tidbits on when Mani sir was put on the spotlight by moifightclub


  5. pardemeinrehnedo says:

    And yeah – this post makes me wanna check out the film now. Hmmmmm

  6. shailesh says:

    i think you have an inveterate hatred towards list all negatives of the movie..n leave out its biggest positive..transformation of bachhan into auro..because u being a cynical bastard chose to do that..agreed that paa is an average movie n not a great one..but it is better than azab gazab n ur kurbaan..while u were bored by kurbaan u r visceral in this u note u r becoming a bit like khalid though without an agenda..just because u don’t like the movie..n why the heck do i read nyt n guardian for review..are they benchmarks for reviewing hindi movie..u r just trying to be mean..visceral towards an average movie (none of reviwers any way gave it more than 3.5 anyway) and apathetic towards a great performance ( big B puts up a great least much better than hammed up black ) seems u r having a perverse joy that some reviewers have while ripping apart a chetan bhagat novel..u r being mean and it shows..not be cynic is ok..but u have ur prejudico-spectacled cynicism i am afraid towards one is saying movie is great they r saying ..its just very good/good/average..from ur writing it appears its worse than a “radio”..n how can u be apathetic towards the decidedly brightest point of movie..bachhan’s performance..ya balki’s movie has smart kids like adults but many directors use tools like that..balki wrote some quite entertaining lines spoken via kids n very boring adult tracks..neway
    ur this opinion review just makes me wonder about nature of ur it tinted mr. bastard?

  7. moifightclub says:

    @stone/manu/arijit – thnx. ya arijit, that smart n cool smirk is so irritating!
    @pardemeinrehnedo – shant gadadhari bheem shant. thoda time chahiye. btw, do watch the film.

  8. moifightclub says:

    @shailesh – ya, u r spot on. hate bachchan as a person but like million others, am also big fan of actor bachchan.
    transformation as auro ? that was the biggest gimmick. the film had nothing else. why we need a 67 year old to play 13 year old as the tallest progeria patient to ever walk on this earth. why cud not they make the film with a 13 year old ? cz then there wud b no gimmick.

    better than ghazab n “my” kurbaan ? i hated those two also. guardian n NYT are surely no benchmark but those two are by people who got nothing to do with bachchans. except baradwaj rangan, i feel almost all reviewrs are biased at some level or other and know most of them quite well. they all know bachchans at some level and need them for interviews and other stuff at some point. so even though many reviewrs pointed out the flaws of the film, they all rated it 3.5! why ? consciously, sub-consciously, it wud be politically incorrect to say it bad, its home production, its progeria, its “moving” everyone since the trailer came out. there was no way but to agree with Big B since he started putting out all those oh-so-sweet messages on his blog. smart. very smart strategy.

    more than 3.5 anyway! out of 5, 3.5 is lot my freind! i wudnt rate it more than 2 anyday.

    chetan bhagat novel ? where is this coming from ? whats the connection ? and please lets not call it novel. he sells burgers, not books, priced at burger rate.

    balki’s tools ? if only he cud have used other tools instead of overawed by what an “idea” sirji!

    and yes, its all my opinion. am not forcing anyone to agree and change their views. u take it or throw it, who cares.

  9. Rusted Rick says:

    and the dialogue of the year goes to…
    ” just because you donated you bloody sperm doesnt mean he becomes your bloody son”

    just came back from it…slept through 25 minutes in the middle..Ab jr’s hairstyle looks weird….Vidya looked HOT HOT HOT…dare if anyone says anything bad about her!!!
    the people around me were all in tears…reminded me of the TZP days….god knows whats wrong with the world!!!

  10. moifightclub says:

    @Rick – spot on! that was killer! think she looked so good after lonnng time, may b after parineeta this one! TZP is casablanca compared to this one. million times better!

  11. Prasun Banerjee says:

    I hate the Bacchans , I was sulking as i sat in the theatre since there was no other movie playing that i had not seen. the credits rolled and i cringed and sulked more. And then the film started and will say that i did like the film. Even though i did not want to. During the movie my worst nightmare did not come true thankfully. (The woman Paresh Rawal wanted AB jr to meet as potential suitor being the lady formerly known as Ms Rai). I was laughing on the floor at the dialogues in the scene between Auro and Vishnu where Vishnu was telling Auro about his father. Awesomely funny !!! Movie was overall worth the watch.

  12. ksmommy says:

    waah! kya baat hai! reviews ho toh aise! in short, I agree(as usual) to everything u have said-glad, I watched the movie in FF and still disliked it-I will reiterate what u wrote-“that was the biggest gimmick. the film had nothing else. why we need a 67 year old to play 13 year old as the tallest progeria patient to ever walk on this earth. why cud not they make the film with a 13 year old ? cz then there wud b no gimmick”-my sentiments xactly! keep up the good work!

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