Posts Tagged ‘maid’

Om Puri Nandita PuriFirst lesson : Don’t marry a journalist if you are famous and have lots of bones in closet. Because once a journalist is always a journalist.

Second lesson : And if you marry a journalist, never ask him/her to write your biography!

Jokes apart, three cheers to Nandita Puri for the tell-all biography of her husband Om Puri. Not everyone can dare to do so. And its almost impossible when you are related to your subject. The book (Unlikely Hero : Om Puri) is not yet out, and we are not sure if its really going to reveal all, but if the film is going to be anything close to what the teaser is promising, we are looking forward.

In an industry where everything is in closet and where we are all holier-than-thou you can only expect some fakeographies! And so this is going to be refrshing change.

Tehelka has published excerpts from the book. Scroll down to read or you can click here. And yes,  Shiney Ahuja is not the only bai-sexual! Ask Mahesh Bhatt, he can give you few more names.

Of a pump and a bed

Om grew up in an environment almost devoid of women. His mother, Tara Devi was the only woman he knew for years until he reached his Mamaji’s place in Sanaur. [T]here were no girls of his age and the only women he knew were his maternal aunts and the maids. So it was but natural for Om to take a liking to older women. He must have been around fourteen when he was ‘deflowered’. A fifty-five-year-old woman, Santi, used to provide general help in his maternal uncle’s house. Twice a day, water was drawn into the house with a hand pump and Om was asked to assist Santi in the job. Days went by and Om kept pressing the pump backwards and forwards, till one day he realized that Santi would first touch, then caress and finally fondle him during the task. The young boy began to get turned on without knowing what was happening to him.

One day there was a power failure and in the dark, Santi grabbed Om, who was by then totally aroused. They slept together and the fourteen-yearold felt really great having ‘come of age’. Dark, greying, with a toothless grin, always dressed in half-torn salwars, Santi was Om’s first lover.

The fourteen-year-old’s lust for Santi spilled over into a kind of attraction towards another older woman. This was his badi maami or older maternal aunt, Gomti Devi. It was perhaps this infatuation that led Om to caress the exposed navel of his other aunt, Satya Devi, one summer night on the family terrace under a moonlit sky. Though it was the younger aunt he was physically caressing, it was actually the aura of his older aunt that had overwhelmed him…

Whatever the reason, his naïve act led to his shame and expulsion from the Kapoor household and Om was left to fend for himself.

The maid he almost married

[In 1986, when his girlfriend Mala left him, Om was living in an apartment in a complex called Trishul where his] staff consisted of a mother and daughter duo from Andhra Pradesh, Amma and her daughter Lakshmi. When they first came to Trishul, they stank a lot as they used to work in the local Versova fish market. It took a lot of coaxing on Om’s part and several rounds of scrubbing with soap on their part to get rid of the stink.

Initially, Lakshmi and Amma used to serve part-time but seeing Om’s hapless predicament with his nephews after Mala’s departure, they stayed on to work full-time. Between them, they did all the housework and Lakshmi took pains to manage things well. Also, whenever Om was at home, she made an extra effort to cook special food for him and walked around the house coyly. She even flirted with him playfully. Om did not fail to notice all this.

Lakshmi had a dark and voluptuous matronly appearance and Om found her suitably attractive. Thus, their short-term physical relationship began. A few months later, Om realized that Lakshmi was getting quite attached to him. And since he was feeling grateful to her, on the spur of the moment, he decided to marry her… Om thought he too could set an example for society. Or maybe he felt his reel life, where he acted out socially meaningful roles, should spill over into his real life.

‘Thank God I woke up quickly from my idealistic stupor and did not commit to Lakshmi. We had nothing, absolutely nothing in common,’ Om says. Lakshmi soon began to get very possessive about him… Om did not like this and decided to terminate their short affair. Lakshmi, however, was not one to take it lying down. [She] tried to climb onto the terrace rail and announced she was going to jump seven storeys down. When Om pulled her back, she yelled hysterically, ‘Nahin, mujhe marne do! (No, let me die!)’ Om could not have asked for a more melodramatic scene of a break-up than this!

First smell of money

On a holiday to Delhi, Naseer prodded him to go to Pune, but funds were the main hindrance that kept Om away. He applied for a Punjab government scholarship which did not come immediately. In the meantime, a friend from NSD, Neelam Mansingh asked her friend, a businessman, Jugnu Singh to sponsor Om. Jugnu agreed and on that assurance Om joined FTII. But Jugnu’sfunds never materialized…

Om got in and was able to manage the two years’ acting course in Pune due to the kindness of some friends and teachers. One such person was Girish Karnad. During the interview, students were asked to recite two passages, one of their choice and one that had been sent by the institute. Om’s passage was Mark Anthony’s speech from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar. Om was good. But the interview board wondered why they should take Om as a student. ‘He doesn’t look like a hero, nor like a villain, nor a comedian. What use will he be of to the industry?’ they chorused.

‘‘That is not our problem,’ Karnad, who was then the director of FTII, insisted… During his first summer vacation, Karnad recommended Om to B.V. Karanth to play the lead in his hour-long children’s film, Chor Chor Chhup Jaaye. That was Om Puri’s first film and he played a vagabond. His first co-actor was a monkey called Ramu. He made friends with Ramu and sported an unkempt look to go with his character in the film. When the payment was handed to him, Om did not know how to react. He had never seen so much money together – all of three thousand rupees! But he ensured that the money saw him through the entire FTII course.

Tehelka has also done an interview with Nandita, and when asked if she had to hold back anything, she said “Yes, I guess so. I’m used to profiling people, but it’s different as a wife. Even though I did reveal a lot, I did have to hold a little back. At first, he was very apprehensive. He was not very keen that I do the biography. He had asked me to do it in the beginning when I was a young journalist interviewing him. He was just conspiring to spend more time with me. Once I became his wife, he didn’t need such ploys. Later on, it was my decision. Om is constantly talking, so in a way it is more like an autobiography than a biography. I’m saying all the things Om has been meaning to say all these years.

You can read the full interview here.

In today’s Mumbai Mirror, Om Puri has given an interview to SKJha and reacted to his wife’s book and all the stories of his sexual adventures. But since its by SKJha, we take everything with a pinch bowl of salt. To quote Om Puri…

I don’t care  if she’s my wife. I won’t let her get away with it. My wife has reduced a very important and sacred part of my life to cheap and lurid gossip. I had shared these dark secrets with my wife as all husbands do. If she chose to make them public at least she should’ve made sure to maintain a dignity about experiences that are a valuable part of my life. Has she forgotten that I have a standing in society and I’ve worked hard to achieve all that I have today? I won’t allow her to throw it all away for the sake of sensationalism.

You can read the full interview here. This all seems like great publicity and buzz for the book just before its release. We are booking our copy for sure. Because Om Puri still remains one of our all time favourite actors!

It seems the world is full of people who belong to IB Club. Sickos like us, the Inglorious Bastard Club. Because we thought we were the only ones making jokes on Shiney Ahuja and his infamous case – rape of his maid! And now there are some more jokes floating around. Enjoy!

What does Shiney Ahuja like to ride the most?

Bai-cycle

What is the favourite bedroom line of Shiney Ahuja?

Good Bai!

Who is Shiney Ahuja’s favourite football player?

Bai Chung Bhutia

What kind of food does Shiney Ahuja like?

Home Maid

Which song did Shiney Ahuja sing with N’Sync?

Bai Bai Bai

Why did Shiney Ahuja hang out with Snoop Dog??

To make rape music

What disease is Shiney Ahuja suffering from ?

Shwiney Flu

For our earlier post on Shiney Ahuja jokes, you can click here.

Anu AhujaShe has come out in public in support of her husband Shiney Ahuja. On television channels. Anupam Ahuja or Anu Ahuja, even organised a press conference today. She got her freinds and neighbours together and tried to made it look like a false case. The rape of her maid by Shiney Ahuja. She says that Shiney is completely innocent and he has been framed!

But here is the real dope. Direct from the horse’s mouth. We ofcourse can’t name the horse but here is the goss.

Off the record Anupam Ahuja has confessed that she knows the truth. She thinks Shiney is a dumb guy but he is not a rapist. He surely had sex with the maid but it was with her consent. It was consensual. But Anupam Ahuja will not make the confession public because her priority now is to get Shiney out of jail. 

Anu AhujaShiney Ahuja’s wife Anu Ahuja came out in public today to support her husband who has been accused in the rape case of his maid. She did some telephonic interviews on news channels and was also present in the court. Her full name is Anupam Ahuja but she is known as Anu Ahuja among her friends and colleagues.

On Shiney Ahuja raping his maid :

Anu Ahuja – Its all rubbish. He has been framed. I am proud to be Mrs Shiney Ahuja and I don’t think that he could have done this even for a minute.

She also dismissed the news about Shiney’s confession in the police station and said that any such confession doesn’t exist. Though she didn’t give much details about her husband’s point of view but its clear that she is by his side.

Who is Anu Ahuja ?

Anu Ahuja used to work in Text 100, a public relations agency specialising in Technology PR, in Mumbai. Soon she moved to New York to join as the Marketing Head of the Office Tiger, a KPO company. Shiney and Anu were already married then. Recently she quit her job and moved back to Mumbai to start the family. They have a two year old daughter called Arshiya.

We are sick! Really sicko bastards (ok, we prefer to be called Inglorious Basterds IB )! Why ? Well, otherwise how do you explain the fact that we are sharing Shiney Ahuja jokes. Here are two sms jokes that we received, one from a writer friend and other from an EP. If you belong to the same IB Club, read on.

Q. Whats Shiney Ahuja’s favourite song these days ?

A. Maid In India, Maid In India…Yeh dil chahe bas ek Maid In India!

Q. What’s Shiney’s sexual preference – Straight, Gay or Bisexual ?

A. He is now Bai-sexual!

We got one in our mail box, from a reader.

Q. If Sudhir Mishra teams up with Shiney Ahuja again, what will be the title of the film ?

A. Hazaroon Khwashein Waisi

For more such sicko bolly jokes, select “Bolly Jokes” under the “Categories” header in the right hand panel. Its just below the “Recent Comments” header. And if you have something to share, mail us at moifightclub@gmail.com 

Shiney Ahuja accused of rape – WTF!!

Posted: June 14, 2009 by moifightclub in bollywood, Breaking News, News, WTF
Tags: , ,

Shiney Ahuja ( Sins )We could not believe the news when we heard it. We quickly checked the calendar. No, its not april fools day. Its for real – Actor Shiney Ahuja has been accused of rape!

Shiney’s maid has accused him of rape and has registered a complaint with Oshiwara Police Station. Mumbai Police has taken Shiney in custody and will present him at the court on monday

Shiney is married to Anu Ahuja and has a daughter. But his wife mostly stays outside India because of her work.

We knew that the actor has a roving eye and it wasn’t all well between him and his wife but Shiney raping his maid, thats too extreme to believe! According to initial reports it was sex with consent but later on the maid turned against him.

Blame it on our sick sense of humour but we could not stop wondering what Shiney Ahuja realised after commiting the crime – Sins! Sins! Sins!