Posts Tagged ‘Paanch’

Yes, not one, two, but three films. And so, we are back with a new conspiracy theory. First, it was Anurag Kashyap’s Paanch. Like everyone else, we also thought that after years of frustration the filmmaker must have leaked it out online himself. Then came Sudhir Mishra’s Tera Kya Hoga Johnny. And now a film titled Mr Singh Mrs Mehta by debutanat director Parvesh Bharadwaj. So, whats common between all the three films ?

Well, they all got leaked out online much before their theatrical release. And all these three films have a common name in the credit roll – Tutu Sharma. Conclusion ? Our guess is as good as yours. Is it him ? If yes, why so ? If not, why isn’t he taking any action ? And if not him, who could it be ? And if someone else, then why isn’t Mr Tutu Sharma bothered to find it out !

Time for Mr Holmes & Dr Watson ? Because we don’t have the answer. Or can anyone enlighten us please!

(PS – Mr Singh Mrs Mehta is making headlines because of a nude scene of Aruna Shields…much like  the way Kate Winslet posed and Leonardo painted her in Titanic. Here the painter is Prashant/Prroshant/Proshant/Whatever Narayanan.)

And you know where! If not, ask the pirates. If you still cant find it, then also its fine. Dont worry, wait for its theatrical release. But the news is shocking for sure.

If the big boys could not save Wolverine, whats the big deal about Johnny. Recently it happened the same with Anurag Kashyap’s Paanch also which was rumoured to be leaked out by the director himself because Anurag was tired of waiting for its theatrical release. Ashutosh Gowariker’s Whats Your Raashee was also leaked out before its theatrical release. Its another matter that nobody wanted to watch it for free also.

Tera Kya Hoga Johnny is directed by Sudhir Mishra and stars Neil Nitin Mukesh, Kay Kay Menon, Soha Ali, Shahana Goswami, Karan Nath and Sikandar who plays the lead role of Johnny.

But it seems both the director and producer are clueless about it. Or is it Sudhir Mishra who was frustrated waiting for its release, got inspired by his good freind Kashyap and leaked it out himself ? Or it got leaked out through a festival screener ? The film was doing the festival round. Aha, conspiracy theories and more! Whatever it is, but now Johnny seriously needs to worry ki ab kya hoga

2009 – The Master of Feel Bad started the year delivering his career’s first hit and the Master of Feel Good Cinema ended the year with a recording breaking monster hit! Aha, not that bad if we count only the boundaries. After the musical notes of the year, we sat down to discuss the filmy notes of the year. Here it is – the good, the bad and the fuglies!

1. Best Credit Roll – If ever a credit roll said something so simply and superbly, this is it. Luck By Chance. Also great debut by Zoya Akhtar.

2. Anurag Kashyap turned musical and how! More than a dozen songs and we discovered Amit Trivedi.

3. Anurag Kashyap – 2009 belongs to only one director. Dev D, Gulaal and even Paanch finally got a release, you know where. Whats more, he finished shooting his next film That Girl In Yellow Boots in just 13 days. Aur bolo ?

PS : The same Anurag Kashyap wrote the dialogues for Kurbaan ! Strange bedfellows remained strange.

4. Nobody, we repeat nobody, can save Harman/Hurrman/Harmann/Harrman/Whatever it is Baweja.

5. Wooden Film of the Year – New York. Three good looking woods with zero expression.

6. Ranbir Kapoor – Dude of the year! He is not only working with best directors of bollywood but delivering his best too. Cool & confused, fool & romantic, middle class & lost – he did it all.

7.Imran Luck Khan – The poster boy of 2008 is light years behind Ranbir. He only talks cool and acts still uncool.  Competition, whats that ?

8. Imtiaz Ali has only one story to tell. The journey of cool and confused lovers on the verge of marriage. First time, they were about to mary. Second time, they were close to marriage. This time, they finally married and then solved their problem. More here and here.

9. Samir Karnik got money to make one more movie. Who ? Where ? Why ? How ?

10. Rani Mukherjee’s career is over. Hadippa!

11. Multiplex cinema & hits are not everything. Its a big myth. Ask the makers of Wanted. Or is it only Salman Khan ?

12. And if its Salman Khan, why Main Aur Mrs Khanna packed up in just two days ? As they say, nobody knows anything. And what was UTV smoking ? 

13. Overrated Gimmicky shit of the year – Paa. More ramblings here.

14. R Balki should stick to making tv commercials. One idea and thats it. He also told the same story again. Smart & dying child bring lovers back together. Age gap somewhere. Check.

15. Akshay Kumar’s bubble busted and how!. He failed everywhere. Chandni Chowk, China, Hollywood, under water, inside or outside Tasveer.

16. The Invisible Director – Who is Anurag Singh ? Does anyone knows him ? The man who put the last nail in the coffin of Rani’s acting career. Hadippa!

17. Sanjay Gupta and gang (read Suparn) are still copying. Even the promos! Now the Unknown ones! More here.

18. Suresh Nair – the only writer to have two big films releases on the same friday. Aladin & London Dreams and both flopped.

19. Underrated Film – Sooni Tarporevala’s delightful Little Zizou, where all the possible parsis united to turn bollywood into pollywood! ( Missed Barah Aana, Mohandas)

20. Ripley’s Believe It Or Not – Sunil Shetty got an award for acting in Anant Mahadevan’s Red Alert – the War Within. Believe it, nobody has seen the film yet.

21. Most Subtle Expression of the year – In Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra’s Delhi 6, a man lands up with a mirror to show your andar ka kala bandar! Beat this!

22. Nagesh Kuknoor – Dont give him big budgests and big stars. He will go cuckoo-noor!

23. Vishal Bhardwaj delivered again. Five films in a row. And showed us Amole Gupte – the actor. More here.

24. Ajab Prem ki Gazab Kahani tried too hard to be Andaz Apna Apna. Insanity happens! You cant plan and design it.

25. ENG Filmmaker -Madhur Bhandarkar continued his expose and it finally flopped.

26. Smirk & Smug of the Year – Vivek Oberoi in Kurbaan. It was the ROFLOL film of the year where terrorism was wrapped in chiffon saree.

27. RajKumar Hirani lied to all of us and made the same film again. As a friend said, its Munnabhai B Tech. More here.

28. Couple Of The Year – Jaideep Sahni & Shimit Amin who delivered Rocket Singh – Sales Man of the Year! More here.

29. The only U-25 who proved us wrong – Ayan Mukherjee. Wake up Sid. Confident debut. More here.

30. Only 12 scenes, not 12 roles – Ask Priyanka Chopra. Easily the best performance of the year. Length doesnt matter, performanace counts. Vishal did it. Gowariker failed.

Bravery Awards  – Aftab Shivdasani turned writer and producer with Aao Wish Karein.

Someone directed a film titled Jai-Veeru!

Abhijeet Sawant turned actor.

LOL Titles Of The Year  – They said it all. No explanations required.

Kal Kisne Dekha

Do Knot Disturb

Fruit & Nuts

London Nightmares

Blue-s

Aa Dekhein Zara

Dhoondte Rah Jaoge

Ek Se Bure Do

(Tough) Luck

Shorkut – The Con Is On

PS. ENG – Electronic New Gathering.

Coming up next –  what to expect in 2010!

Ek-do-teen-chaar-cheh! The missing number from Anurag Kashyap’s Dev D has finally been found! Not officially! But you know where. And if you are smart enough to follow us on twitter, am sure you have already seen it by now. Its out since last two days. And those who dont follow us, its your loss! Ok, enough of cheesy self-promotion!

In the last few years, have met many die-hard fans of Anurag Kashyap who were willing to do anything to watch Paanch. The debut film of one of the most interesting filmmakers of our times. So, run! Google! Kill! Get it soon and bless the soul who did the good deed!

Few of us had the privilege of watching it on the big screem. The on-off talks of its big screen release is still going on. We doubt if it will ever get a theatrical release but even if you catch it through the Pirates of the Caribbean, make sure you pay the price when it releases.

For the kiddos who thought Rock On was all rock with a cool quotient, check out the grungy look and rawness of Paanch. Add to that Abbas Tyrewala of pre-Aditi days with his ankhiyaan chipki chipke ankhiyaan and the mindblowing main khuda…khuda hoon main! Enjoy!

BTW, here is what Sudhish Kamat, film critic of The Hindu, tweeted after watching the film…

Paanch: Raw genius!! Loved it. Near flawless except the end! KK’s fantastic! Music Rocks! What a debut, Anurag Kashyap! 

PS – if you are still clueless, look for our old tweets! We believe piracy is pro-socialism when you cant afford the film but still want to catch it. Or when there is no other option. No burgers@Rs99 and no #chetanblocks!