F.i.g.h.t C.l.u.b

Its that time of the year when we love making those lists. The best, the worst and the top ten. We sat down with some of our favourite music in non-stop loop and made our list of the good, the bad and fuglies. Whatever caught our attention, from every possible extreme. 

1. Ripley’s Believe It Or Not – We had Himesh Reshammiya in non-stop loop! He had Rekha Bhardwaj for company, but this Himesh is all new. Check it out, if you still havent!

2. Cuss Word Converter – Give a cuss word to him and it will never be the same again. The reason why Gul-still-Czar! Add Vishal’s vocals and you have the best title song of the year! Meri aarzoo kamini, mere khwab bhi kaminey, ek dil se dosti thi, yeh huzoor bhi kaminey!

3. Whats In  a Name Song – Earlier they had no names. It was kabootar ja ja ja and atriya pe lotan kabutar re! Rahman and Prasoon Joshi made sure that we all googled Masakalli. And you are still wondering whats in a name, that too of a dove!

4. Religion Converter Song – It seems that A R Rahman is hell bent on making sure that we go for religion conversion soon. First it was Piya haaji ali, then Khwaja mere khwaja and this year he gave us Arziyaan. If I ever convert, blame it on Rahman, only Rahman. For cheap thrills, we still try to count the number of times “maula” is there in the song. Whats your count ?

5. Killer One Song  – Shankar Ehsaan Loy had the complete album, Amit Trivedi killed them with just ek gaana called ek taara!

6. New Genrae – Piyush Mishra invented a new genrae of mujra, polticial mujra!  Jaise door desh ke tower me ghus jaye re  aeroplane. Gulaal. Now our only worry is if he can be denied USA visa for putting 9/11 in a mujra. 

7. Legends Should Retire – Dont attack us! But if this is what we get, legends should remain as legends. Illayaraja’s music did little for Cheeni Kum and it was the same for Paa. Except the theme tune nothing worked in Paa. The udi mudi judi or whatever it is, doesnt stay even for few seconds! or May be legends should never work with their fanboys!

8. Song ONLY for the Big Screen – It proved us wrong. Dhan tedan! Its only for the big screen, in a dark theatre. We saw it once. We went again. Watching it on tv, we were wondering why has Vishal shot a song inside a nightclub in such unimaginative way. We saw it on the big screen and ate all our words, twice!

9. Musical Aag of The Year – Is Ashutosh Gowariker’s music sense complete zero ? Was it all Rahman ? Like his film, the music CD was quite a fat one packed with 13 forgettable songs! And shot in similar way! Is this the same man who shot yeh jo desh hai tera & khwaja mere khwaja ?

10. Music That Was Hit in Fantasyland – The album was hit in twittosphere but shit otherwise. Aladin. The cast and the crew went on overdrive with their tweets but as Time Out’s Nandini Ramnathan wrote, it was all gone in sixty seconds!

11. Vishal Dadlani must be the only rock-star who writes nursery rhymes. Have you heard the “hey baby, you may be” whatever shit it is! But he can put his vocals to great use. Kurbaan hua had our Rocky in full throttle!

12. No Pun Intended Song – Pocket me rocket hai, pocket me. As a friend said, it sounds like a great jingle for sex toys.

13. Cheap-est Thrill-est Song – Only for Adults! Bold and bitchy! Dev D. Courtesy lyricist Amitabh Bhattacharya. Pyaar, emosanal atyachaar, bitch and (w)hooooore – all at one go!

14.  Best Installation Art in a song – Chandni chowk came close to New York, Gau Mata was near Gucci and we had our eyes wide open because Dil gira daftan.

15. Mohit Chauhan can do a masakalli and melancholy with equal ease! Can we now spare him! Why only rona dhona senti menti songs?

16. Best of 2009 – Bunch of kids got together in an “Audio Garage” and delivered the album of the year and the love anthem of our generation. Dev D. Music director, lyricist, singers – all new. Amit Trivedi, Amitabh Bhattacharya and the gang! ( If Rahman and Bhardwaj dont deliver, who will. So, would not put them here). 

17. A R Rahman gave us a musical note for boo boo. Its called Buuloooo.

18.  Best Closing Notes of the Year – Check out the last 2 mins of Rehna tu! Pure bliss. Can someone enlighten us what instrument it is. 

19. Underrated Songs of the Year – Pankho ko from Rocket Singh – Salesman Of The Year and Delhi Destiny from 99. Everything else gets so much overplay that the joy of discovering a good song is almost dead. Jaideep delivers one of the best lines of the year…..uljhe nahi to kaise suljhoge….bikhre nahi to kaise nikhroge.

20. Imtiaz Ali is going for formula in his music too. One punjabi bhangra for closing credit, one peppy number with english words, one sad song in Mohit or Raahat’s voice and blah blah! Partner in crime – Pritam.

21. Weirdest Words of the Year – Bhangra bistar! Courtesy – Jaideep Sahni.

22. Wannabe BPL Rock Album of the Year – London Dreams.

23. Worst Musical Import of the Year – Kylie Minogue with chiggy wiggie! whatever that means.

24. Worst Musical Export of the Year – Rahman with Couples Retreat. Why, O Dear Lord, why ?

25. Self-Flagellation Song of the Year – Bebo main bebo!

26. Musical Sucess Party of the Year – Dulha Mil Gaya! Yes, they threw a party to celebrate its musical success. Who is listening ?

27. Jingles of the Year – dil titli…dil titli….kabhi yaadon ka…kabhi sapno ka and Yeh kis pyaari hifazat me ho befikri ki haalat hai..yaara o yaara. First one is by Swanand Kirkire and second by Gulzar.

28.  Few things that never change – Atif still singing out of tune, here, there, everywhere. But its still working…tu jaane na ( Ajab Prem ki Ghajab Kahani )…nobody knows why and how! Confession – we also love it!

29. Cinematic Homage Song of the Year – Akira Kurosawa from Chintuji. Its a riot…Kapola kapola! Listen carefully and see how many filmmakers you can spot!

Coming up next is filmy fuglies of the year!

PS. BPL – Below the Poverty Line.