KAUFMAN - "Or cramming in sex, or car chases, or guns. Or characters learning profound life lessons. Or characters growing or characters changing or characters learning to like each other or characters overcoming obstacles to succeed in the end. Y'know ? Movie shit."
Kaufman is sweating like crazy now. Valerie is quiet for a moment - from "Adaptation".
We are all about CINEMA. That movie shit.
NOTHING is sacred.
NOBODY is spared.
Because we talk about films, dammit.
Not your sex life.
Films, fests, unsung, indies, undiscovered - all that and some fun. If you have dope on anything related to cinema or you would like to share something, do write to us at moifightclub@gmail.com.
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This post is part of our small endeavour to spupport indie films and give them some visbility. We haven’t seen the film, have no clue about the makers, just a random mail and here it is. Do check out the trailer.
Shuttlecock Boys is a self-financed independent Hindi feature film produced by Pennywise Films and directed by Hemant Gaba. After travelling through some film festivals (Jaipur, Surat & Shimla) in India, it will have its International Premiere in USA at Chicago South Asian Film Festival followed by a screening in the competitive category of International Film Festival Ahmedabad in October.
The film tells the story of 4 boys Gaurav, Manav, Loveleen & Pankaj who embark on an eventful journey of “doing something on their own”, a decision that they take while playing badminton one night in their neighbourhood streets. This journey becomes the litmus test of their determination, courage, luck & spirit of the friendship.
The story originated from the director’s upbringing years in lower middle class, out of his personal experiences of being stuck in 9 to 6 monotonous jobs & his willingness to charter into unknown territory of doing something on his own that the middle class parents always dread. With a small sum of 35 lakhs mostly from his savings & small loans from friends and family, the film was shot handheld mostly with non-actors on more than 18 locations over a span of 22 days in Delhi & suburbs.
So the film has finally released all over India except Uttar Pradesh. Most critics have rated it between 1.5 to 2.5 stars ( Rediff 1st review- 1.5, Rediff 2nd Review – 2, NDTV – 2.5, Indian Express – 2, CNN IBN – 2, Hindustan Times – 2, Mid-Day – 2.5) with the few exceptions (Mumbai Mirror – 3.5 + the usual suspects). I still haven’t seen the film. But looking at the trailers of the film, it seems loud and very tacky, and can be best described as “from the makers of Raajneeti”. Or as Jayhind tweeted earlier, Prakash Jha is Madhur Bhandarkar with a JNU degree. That’s the best and the apt description of the filmmaker if you look at his last two films. Hilarious trivialisation of serious issues with stars masquerading in unintentionally funny characters. what a fall!
The film still hasn’t released in UP. And with a Dalit Behenji at the helm of the state, this might just be a power trip for her. Plus, the votebank. But don’t be surprised if it gets a release soon there as well. Though at this point Prakash Jha admits that he is not even getting a window to start the talks – what do they actually want? No communication. Behenji ne bola, toh darwaza bandh. But a photo-op and some chai-paani can make things move at any political quarter.
Whats more weird is the points raised by the Punjab Government’s 7-Member Committee who saw the film and asked for the following changes –
1. In the dialogue “humne aapki tatti bhi uthai hai“, it was felt that the “mull” can be substituted for the word “tatti”.
2. In one of the scenes, “hans chuggega dana tinka, kauwa moti khayega” is there in the background. The couplet should be removed.
3. In the credit roll of the film, a palm drenched in blood appears when the movie title appears. This needs to be removed.
WTF can be a mild reaction if you ponder over the cuts asked by the Committee. With our over zealous conspiracy theorist mind at work, many insinuated that it was all orchestrated. A tracking agency did confirm that the film’s buzz went up in the last week because of the controversies. But inviting ban? Three states, loss of revenue, fear factor. Some gyaan gurus on twitter also suggested that with its banning in three states, the revenue will increase multiple times in other places. Looking at the first day’s collection, that surely didn’t happen.
So?
My theory is the makers were smartly playing around the issue till the last week. Like all filmmakers do these days. Plant stories, theories, counter it, deny, get space for more stories. When the matter went to court, the reply from the makers spilled out the truth – it’s more about commercialization of education and less about reservation. But with a title called Aarakshan, who would believe it. By that time, P L Punia, Chairman of National Commission for SC, had made enough noise. And bollywood has always been a soft target. People came, shouted, made their voices heard, grabbed headlines and the film got some more buzz. With both the parties benefiting and without spending any single penny, its a win-win situation for both. It all went of hands in the last week. Nobody expected such extreme reactions and the ban. If the film had released without any political party making any noise against it, most of them would have been disappointed after watching the film. A friend who went for the special screening of the film, realised that most RPI party members who had come to watch the film, they never came back to their seats after the interval. Like the rest, they might have got bored.
Though Amitabh Bachchan poured his heart out in this post but Javed Akhtar made a very valid point in an interview – where were these sentiments when Fanna got banned or there were protests against Water? They are paying a price for being silent then. On Fanna’s release, I remember his stand clearly – What Aamir is doing is right, what the others are doing, they are also guided by similar principles. On asked to take a stand and criticise the ban, he said he needs to acclimatised himself with the situation as he is not completely aware of it. I guess it’s a complete circle now with Aarakshan. But you can’t blame him either. That’s the industry stand – don’t look around, don’t speak up till I’ m not hurt. Not sure what those Power Lists of bollywood means when some of the biggest stars of the industry can get together and take some concrete action against nonsensical hullabaloo. Or blame it all on their need for some more buzz.
Not very long ago filmmaker Hansal Mehta wrote a post on PFC about what he had to face during the release of Dil Pe Mat Le Yaar. Since the post is not online now, posting it here again. Do read.
Raj Thackeray – Get Well Soon
A few months ago Shiney Ahuja was arrested for allegedly raping his maid. Yesterday Karan Johar apologized for being raped. His rapists have emerged triumphant. In our law books there is punishment for physical rape. There is no law for raping our freedom of expression. There is only triumph for the rapists. Bravo, Raj Thackeray. You are a master rapist.
Nine years ago after the release of Dil Pe Mat Le Yaar, I was subjected to humiliation by moral police from some wing of the Shiv Sena, headed by ‘youth leader’ Raj Thackeray. His touts(a few thousand) vandalized my office. They thrashed me. They colored my face black. They threatened to burn down the home of Kishore Kadam, a wonderful actor and even more wonderful friend. I was summoned to Khar Danda and made to apologize in front of over 20,000 people and 10 MPs, MLAs and local politicians. I was made to touch the feet of a lady in the village to make amends for my mistake. My mistake? An innocuous line of dialogue from my film, misinterpreted, misunderstood and twisted to suit the publicity hungry touts hired by Mr. Thackeray. Touts who had not even seen the film save a couple of them who viewed a pirated VCD and smelt a great opportunity for titillation. Some called me a coward. Some called me spineless.
The truth is that I was a film-maker who was coping with the box-office failure of his film. I was a father who feared for the safety of his young children. I was a son who feared for the well being of his parents. I was a friend who feared for the security of his actor’s home. They threatened to burn down Kishore Kadam’s house if I did not show up at the village. They refused to stop thrashing me and painting me black until I agreed. The police did not want me to visit Danda village and apologize. They feared that they would be unable to grant me protection. But I wanted to move on. I wanted to erase all memories of this dastardly attack, this blatant violation of my human rights. I thought I had moved on.
The latest threat to Karan Johar about similar innocuous references to Mumbai as Bombay reminded me that whatever happens, the scars of that shameful week will never be erased. The wounds will never heal. It was a similar situation then. There was a Congress government in the state and the Shiv Sena needed to make it’s ‘marathi’ presence felt. Today the situation is doubly dangerous. A bigger film-maker. Not one but two cancerous organizations – the Shiv Sena and MNS. The jihadis have Osama. Gujarat has Modi. Maharashtra has the Thackerays.
I spent last night reliving the horror of nine years ago. I spent a sleepless night. I was tormented by visions of my cowardice. I awoke to find my being filled with anger. Once again, the blood suckers have succeeded. One more film-maker bites the dust. The vicious, self proclaimed messiahs of the marathi manoos have triumphed. They persecuted me. I apologized. They harassed the Bachchans. They apologized. They threatened Karan Johar. He apologized.
Today, I apologize. I apologize for being a selfish, cowardly citizen of an impotent country. I apologize for pretending to express through cinema. Who said cinema is a powerful medium of expression? Who said that it reflects society? The only cinema in our country is the political drama that unfolds every day. The only real protagonists are the goondas who portray such convincing politicians. And the antagonists are all of us who retreat into their supposedly secure lives, happy to carry on living as persecuted citizens of Bombay. Sorry Mumbai.
Dear Sirs, where were you then ? Dil Pe Nahi Liya?
And both the trailers of one thing in common – No respect for Fonts.
Soundtrack is directed by debutant Neerav Ghosh and stars Rajeev Khandelwal, Soha Ali Khan and Mrinalini Sharma. Saregama India Ltd., the company which delivered a dud of EPIC size last year with Jhootha Hi Sahi, has produced it. The trailer looks like Dev D meets Shaitan. Is there no other way to show drug abuse in cinema? And “what the F”? Really? That’s the best they could think of? All for adding some cool quotient.
With no other options left Mommy Hema Malini has now directed a film to save the career of daughter dearest Esha Deol with desi version of Mamma Mia. And it looks like this will be the final nail in that career coffin. Try adding one more “K” in that Kkhuda. The film also stars Dharmendra, Vinod Khanna, Rishi Kapoor, Arjan Bajwa and Chandan Roy Sanyal.
Anurag Kashyap’s next release That Girl In Yellow Boots finally gets an official poster. Not sure if it’s the same agency which has designed the posters of Dev D, Shaitan and now TGIYB but some design hangover seems to be there…similar elements, colours and that garish touch.
Sanjay Leela Bhansali is also ready with his next production, My Friend Pinto. Directed by debutant Raaghav Dar, it stars Prateik, Kalki Koechlin, Arjun Mathur, Divya Dutta, Raj Zutshi and Shruti Seth.
And the third one is Malegaon Ka Superman. This one comes from the cottage film industry of Malegaon. Do check out its tagline.
Lalit Marathe’s debut feature Shabri is finally going to release on 26th August. Starring Eesha Koppikhar, and produced by Ram Gopal Varma, the film was made long back, and was ready for release since last 2-3 years. But for some weird reasons it never manage to reach the theatres.
Lalit also directed the tv serial Rajuben, which seems to be similar to Shabri, at least the basic story. Haven’t seen Rajuben, so can’t comment much.
At a time when RGV’s films are all about horny camera movements and ear blasting sound, Shabri looks like it’s back to the old school of story telling. Do check it out.
And here’s the director’s note on the film…bit surprising…
DIRECTOR’S NOTE
Gangster films do not interest me including the ones Mr. Ramgopal Varma has made. I have never known a gangster in my life, man or woman. But the process of a tormented mind resorting to violence, the moral choices made in taking the first step on the path of no return have always fascinated me.
The intensity, the concentration of intent in these choices can be scorching. But if we see a ‘to be’ gangster in a room making that choice, withdraw and include his neighbour bathing her child, step further away to see a man selling his wares on the street beyond the wall, traffic piling up, kids going to school and so forth, the magnitude of that choice can be devastating. Shabri is an effort to portray a woman next door who has made this choice and where that choice leads her.
Shabri supports a family by working in a flour mill in a slum. She becomes this girl with a gun in a man’s world and ends up threatening the biggest corridors of power in the Matka gambling underworld of Mumbai. Shabri’s quest in the film is similar to a resourceful working woman rising to challenge a superior. Despite her daily struggle to survive and keep her family afloat deep within all that Shabri has desperately wanted to do is to stand up and be counted. And this is the biggest trigger for the fateful choice she makes.
Most achievements are directly proportionate to the ferocity of hunger and the finality of the pangs. Shabri feels raw hunger. She is driven as much by the passion for vengeance as the terrible desire to live her life her own way.
When inspired nothing in the world can stop what must rise. When everything is at stake there is nothing to lose. Shabri is an underdog whose stubbornness to have her way against all odds will touch a chord in all those who dream to soar.
Like in Hollywood, this is the year of 2,3,4 in Bollywood too. Murder 2 is still going strong at the box office, and now the first trailer of Don 2 is out. And it seems D2 is going to be exactly like the earlier Don. The film is directed by Farhan Akhtar and stars Shah Rukh Khan, Priyanka Chopra, Lara Dutta, Kunal Kapoor and Boman Irani.
Tigmanshu Dhulia is back, again. And we are again hoping that this time he will be back as the good ol’ Dhulia. Not the one who directed Shaagird. Even as his last film Paan Singh Tomar is yet to get a theatrical release, trailer of his new film Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster is out. It stars Jimmy Shergill, Randeep Hooda and Mahie Gill.
Remember Parvin Dabas? Yes, the actor is now director. And remember Preeti Jhangiani? She is now producer, and they are married. Here’s the trailer of directorial debut of Dabas, Sahi Dhandhe Galat Bande.
Sometimes it’s quite a difficult task to find the right word to describe a person. And when i can’t rely on cusstionary any more, i take the easy way out. Coin a new term. So we have dodos, then we have ch#@ths, and when someone is beyong all these, I have coined a new term for them – Dodooth (D+C). If you click here and read this column called Reflections, am sure you will agree with my idea of Dodoothness.
Nothing is original, this logic is as old as Adam & Eve. And that doesn’t that mean there is nothing called copyright and IP. Strange that we have so much news space in this country that all kind of garbage is dumped in the name of journalism. And even in this weird dodoothness, it’s hard to believe that Ram Sampath managed to win a copyright case against Rakesh Roshan. Thank God, the Tutejas are not in the judiciary system of this country.
And here is @diaporesis‘ reply to Mr Tuteja’s Reflections.
Mr Tuteja, your article is entertaining. Can I sell it as mine?
Sometime yesterday, Bollywood Hungama, the trade-portal masquerading as review site, happened to accidentally publish a page from Joginder Tuteja’s personal diary. In it, Mr Tuteja, coming to terms with what is, presumably, a speech disorder, explains at length how he has difficulty pronouncing words such as चुग्येओग्जा(please leave eyjafjallajokull for greater gods) . Even though the piece appears to be a legitimate article meant for the general public’s consumption, do not be fooled. It is quite clear that the man is writing to himself.
Here’s an example of his pitiable rant to his Dear Diary:
“Ok, now think of a film called The Chaser, the literal English translation (I guess) for the Korean word on which you just gave up. Yeah, The Chaser; not Chase, Chastity or Chatur. It is plain and simple – The Chaser. Can’t think of any, right? Well, why don’t you try hard.”
As you can clearly see, our delusional diary-writer is addressing himself. He has never heard of The Chaser and conveniently presumes that the rest of the world is as ignorant as he is.
Without going into the details of why such rants (because the entire piece is, overall, a rant and not argument) make no sense, I pose a simple piece of logic before you: if nobody has heard of the movie (extending his logic), how did the comparisons arise in the first place?
At a slight tangent, my gripe with Mr Tuteja’s argumentation is the way in which he cannot produce reasonable arguments to even convince himself. Through most of the piece, Mr Tuteja’s words flail like a broken pieces of a raft on a stormy ocean, alternately despairing and alternately cursing the sea for being so watery. For example, in his piece he says that he’s still trying to locate a certain DVD therefore others couldn’t have seen that movie either. In the next few lines he mentions how piracy is rampant. Um, Mr Tuteja suffers from a joining-the-dots disability as well?
He does not stop at his pitiable laments about his inability to pronounce a certain word. He goes on to prove that he’s unable to employ the faculties of logic and reason as well.
I need not go about arguing against Mr Tuteja’s endorsement of plagiarism. But I do have three serious charges against him: 1) He seems to think it’s fine to copy works of art as long as it’s done entertainingly. I’d love to see his reply to the title of this piece as far this point is concerned. 2) He totally discounts the fact that original creations, however raw, are always more rewarding for the masses and the makers. Ask Anurag Kashyap or Dibakar Banerjee and their fans for evidence. 3) He claims that because he isn’t the thief, he’ll gladly visit a thief’s home and admire the valuable pieces or art etc he has stolen. I, for one, do not even want to provide further arguments about why this is such an asinine argument. Moreover, he goes on to say 99% of us think like him. Really, 99%? Where does he get such fantastic numbers from?
In his rather dreamy rant, he also claims that QT said Kaante was better than Reservoir Dogs. I will save my breath and point you to this piece that Mr Tuteja presumably refers to and challenge you to prove his claim correct.
Dear Mr Tuteja, your arguments are bullshit anyway. You get paid to write about movies that earn lots of money. Not movies per se. There’s a huge difference. Understand that. Appreciate the work of other knowledgeable, hard-working critics who, in India, undergo unfair trials by fire when they praise cinema that is meaningful, honest and well-made rather than crass entertainers that you promote. We can agree to disagree about what cinema should be. But at least, please, get your facts right. Especially when you’re addressing yourself, learn to be honest.
The last point I wish to make is about movies that deserve to be seen but perhaps aren’t seen because viewers assume that since the remakes were shitty, so were the originals. This is far from the truth. Take Oldboy as an example. Zinda was, at times, a frame by frame copy of the movie. But it was an exceedingly passable piece of cinema. Oldboy, on the other hand, is a rivetting and nerve-wracking film that shakes you by the guts and stuns you into shocked silence: an accepted masterpiece of modern Asian cinema. I don’t mind our filmmakers looking for “inspiration”; my problem is that they don’t accept that they looked for inspiration. And, Mr Tuteja, there’s a reason why “inspiration” and “plagiarism” are two different words. Let me point you to dictionary.com if you lack the usual Oxford at home.
As for you, dear reader, spare yourselves the pain of anger. Be kind to him. He knows not what he writes.
And Mr Tuteja, henceforth, please keep your diary private. We cannot be bothered by you being dishonest to even yourself.
(I really shouldn’t add a disclaimer to this piece, but here goes: My own views, my impressions, my right to express them. Not intended to slander etc etc.)
(PS1 – Dear Mr Tuteja, you don’t need a dvd to watch Miracle Worker. There is popular site called youtube.com. Little googling and youtubing doesn’t harm anyone. So click on the play button and enjoy.
(PS2 – This is not the first time that Mr Tuteja has made it to our blog. Click here to read about his other credential. As they say, honhaar birwaan ke hoth cheeknay paat.)
Starring Mahie Gill and Deepak Dobriyal, the film is inspired by the Maria Susairah-Neeraj Grover case. Directed by Ram Gopal Varma, the film is “cinematographed and edited by FX School”. Can someone please explain this to us?
If Rangan can, why can’t we? So, here it is. All in bullet points.
Dil Chahta Hai released in 2001 and this year marks the 10th anniversary of the film. My friend Kartik Krishnan is among those counted few who doesn’t like the film. First grudge – three guys who don’t even say bhainchod. Not even once. While the rest of us claimed it to be new bollywood’s coming of age film, KK still believes DCH is NOT us. Delhi Belly scores there at least. It took 10 years for three friends to come together and say bhainchod. Oops, three came for Rock On and three more are coming soon for ZNMD too. But that’s trilogy from Farhan Akhtar brand of cool and confused characters’ coming of age without the cuss words .
In order of their appearance – Fucking, fucker, balls, dick, chooth, bainchod, bastard, fuck, chootiye, gaand, asshole, dumbfuck, teri maa ki, bhosdike, gaand marane. I hope these words are not new in your cusstionary and you don’t giggle every time someone says balls. Because in Delhi Belly, it’s all there. Seems I missed “thevidiya” – tamil word for whore.
So what’s your mother tongue? And is it the same as the language you speak everyday? No, right? Well, that’s the case with most of us. English is not a phunny language any more, desi characters talking in English is phunny. Or at least bollywood made it phunny. Add Rahul Bose and it’s super funny. Remember Before The Rains? Delhi Belly scores here too. The film is in Hinglish, which seems natural for a film like this, and the actors are comfortable in it. No accent too. Like us, they walk, talk and sleep in Hinglish without any kind of baggage.
No interval. This is about 96mins long. But since we contribute to the revenue more via cold drinks and popcorn, am sure the theater will keep on reminding you about this. Buy, buy, buy. Not every producer can demand a no-interval screening. And even if they demand, nobody will care to listen. With Aamir, it’s a different game. You Don’t Mess With Aamir. Nobody will say it but that’s the truth. Even for Dhobi Ghaat he managed to screen the film without interval. A refreshing change, hopefully others will follow soon, and hopefully we will still keep on contributing to coke, samosa and popcorn so that the theater revenue doesn’t go down.
And the movie? 3 guys, 2 girlfriends, 1 husband, his ex-wife and 1 Don along with some really good character actors in small roles. Stool sample and diamond pack gets mixed up, lots of confusion and farts of every possible kind, some cuss words, few kisses and bhag D K Bose. It’s nothing that you haven’t seen before but in a country where it’s difficult to think of one good film which released in the last six months and has repeat value, even a timepass entertainer scores high.
Shehnaz Treasurywala has lost her “wala” but her treasury is very much intact. She is still selling “peek-a-boo-b”. Remember MTV’s Most Wanted where she would come close to camera, bend a little and you could feast your eyes? Well, she does the same in at least 2 scenes.
For a person with a weak tummy, the farting sounds were really uncomfortable that kept on reminding me that I might need a loo break soon. Luckily i survived.
If you are looking for layers, I would suggest you go for Buddah Hoga Terra Baap which should be having layers and layers of make-up.
Dear Aditya Roy Kapoor, Y U NO GO TO KUNAL ROY KAPOOR SCHOOL OF ACTING?
Is it the same Abhinay Deo who directed Game? Again Aamir Khan will walk away with the credit.
Dear Cunnilingus, welcome to Bollywood. No, knowing you doesn’t make us look cool but it just validates your existence. Good luck on the debut. Hope you survive.
Dear Akshat Verma, hopefully you get to direct your next one. I know you wanted to direct this one.
Shock value? That’s just the marketing pitch, there is nothing shocking if you have been to Chan-Wook Park’s school of incestous studies. or even if you know Lars Von Trier.
90minutes. No songs (Ok, almost no songs). No interval. Adults only. It works. Watch it.
(PS – Was there more to Vir Das’ love story? Chop-chop at Khan’s editing table?)
F.i.g.h.t C.l.u.b 