Archive for the ‘movie reviews’ Category

The day I got to know that Vishal Bhardwaj was adapting another Ruskin Bond short story for the big screen, I went to all the possible book stores, searched desperately for the book with the story Sussana’s Seven Husbands, found it, bought it, read it and then heaved a sigh of relief. How else can you claim to be a Bhardwaj Fanboy!

The short story (just 5 or 6 pages) by Bond is a mood piece, sets an atmosphere where you don’t feel comfortable and there is an eerie feeling that something is lurking around the corner. Things are not explained, deaths are without any reasons and everything else is left to your imagination. Once I and other B-fanboys finished reading it, we all wondered endlessly about how Vishal is going to adapt it for the big screen. Knowing Bond, it should have been easy to predict. Rewind to Rusty days.

But what will compensate for the lack of central drama ? Add to that, our cinema habit of enjoying a “destination film” more than a “journey film”. If the last 20 minutes doesn’t satisfy us, nothing can compensate for the price of the ticket, no matter how brillant the rest of the film is.

And every fear came true with 7 Khoon Maaf. In CBSE curriculum, we had a short story in school titled “Curiosity Killed The Crow”. In case of 7 Khoon Maaf, I was the Crow. Not sure how different my reaction would have been had I not known about all the spoilers. Since the announcement of the film, have been following every bit of news, forcing every possible source to spill out the beans and I even knew about the spoiler in the film. The film’s official synopsis made matters worse where it gave out every detail about the plot. The only thing left to know was – How ?

The film opens with a scene where Priyanka is holding a gun close to her head. And the first thing I noticed was the patchy make-up on her face. You don’t expect to see such a face in a film directed by one of the country’s top five filmmakers. And things got worse from there. Not sure on whom the blame should be put but you can almost feel the layercake of make-up put on Priyanka’s face in many scenes.

If you follow the blog, am guessing you know more than enough about the story. Sussana. Six Marriages. Husbands. Dead. Neil’s character had so much potential but if only fake moustaches could save the day, we all would have been roaming around with those. John, well, I don’t have too many adjectives for wooden blocks. More or less, he remains the same. Naseeruddin Shah doesn’t have much to do, Russian actor Aleksandr Dyachenko has a charming presence and as always,  Annu Kapoor is effortless. Irrfan Khan – benign by day, beast by night and he can go no wrong. But the one who gets to be the dude is Shah Junior – Vivaan. Not conventional good looking but confident and how! An assured debut. Unlike other first timers, not self-conscious of his body language at all. Blame it on the Shah-DNA. But to imagine him as Konkona’s husband, and again with that layer-cake make-up, that was the toughest part. Priyanka is spot-on, whatever she is expected to deliver, she does it well. If only she could get rid of that school-girl giggle, she would be more likeable.

If I ever murder someone, I’ll put the blame on Coen Brothers. Because they make killing look so cool. Wish I could share the blame with Bhardwaj too. But he goes for the emotional baggage. Justifiying every killing of the “dukhi-bechari-badkismat” Maidyum. Looking for love. Settling for blood. Killing just for the sake of killing, what a delicious dish it is! Like that war of whip-lashes (Neil Nitin Mukesh) in an open muddy ground.

And what’s the big picture ? 1,2,3,4,5,6 and then go for the sublime sufi swirls. Count that 7 and bingo!

The brillance of Bhardwaj is there, but too little, the way scenes are set and lit ( Double woot for Ranjan Palit).  The master who has penned some of the best dialogues in the last few years, also drops few few lines here and there. Shaadi jaldi jaldi aur pachtao araam se. But it all boils down to nothing. It’s packed with so much stuff and yet offers so little.

The worst – even the song Tere Liye is not there in the film. At least that would have compensated for some of the pain of seeing one of your favourite filmmakers falter this way.

The real battle in storytelling is with the cliches. You sit down to write a different ‘coming of age’ story. You pick a female protagonist, an unlikely location and you paint a grim picture of life addled with addiction, poverty and a fierce sense of kinship. You think that’s distinct – the trunk and branches that should hold the narrative seem real – so, you start arranging the leaves of the tree. It is then the hard work begins. These leaves look no different from the leaves you have seen on many other trees. Then begins your battle with the cliches. Fortunately for us, this is a battle that Debra Granik wins with aplomb in Winter’s Bone. In her dual role as writer and director, she scripts and brings to life on screen a searing coming of age story that’s original, disturbing and filled with arresting details.

There are two templates of coming of age story in modern literature. The most famous of them is Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye. Holden Caulfield’s three days in New York after being expelled from his school where he confronts his sexuality, reconciles to his delusions of being the saviour of his generation, deepens his relationship with his sister and discusses life with his former teacher is the most adapted mould. There is no specific external event that triggers Caulfield’s actions. In fact, most of the external world is actually inert to his condition. The strife of Caulfield is internal as his soft idealism dashes against the granite hard reality that is the world outside. As Caulfield hurtles through the three days, the reader is constantly searching for a motive for his martyr without a cause behaviour. There’s none except you discover at the end that the motive was to have him accept adulthood – that living for cause than dying for it is the mark of coming of age.

The simplest example of the other template is ‘Barn Burning’, a short story by Faulkener. Here the catalyst to the coming of age of Sarty Snopes is his disgust at the life of crime and pyromania his father leads. Sarty has to question the only way of life he has known, discover his moral compass and break free. Again, there’s no added motive to Sarty’s actions. It’s his journey of self discovery; of finding his innate idealism in conflict with the principles (or the lack there of) that have reared him.

The second template is the closest that Winter’s Bone gets to as a coming of age tale. It’s a template that Udaan, one of the finest coming of age tales in Indian cinema, follows as well. What Winter’s Bone does beyond the template is to invest in a motive that would have been a story in itself.

Ree Dolly, the seventeen year old protagonist, has her hands full managing her two younger siblings and her ‘not quite there’ mother. There’s a certain elan and economy with which the Granik eases you into the film. There’s a folk song about Missouri that’s playing at the back as the film opens and the radio cackles with the newscast talking about a spell of really cold weather in the area. The stark landscape of Ozarks is quickly established as is the poverty of the families living there through the opening montage of run down houses, disposed cars and the lack of options for feeding the Dolly family dog. Ree is a woman too early – as she takes charge of the breakfast for her siblings, combs her mother’s hair and then walks the siblings to the school while testing them on their spelling and math. This is unlike any America you have seen on screen for a long time. There’s poverty of the kind where the next meal is uncertain, lurking lawlessness around and the class that’s running when the teenaged Ree reaches her school is on parenting which sums up the social environment. There’s also a strange kind of kinship that’s established quite early when the neighbour brings in meat and potatoes for the Dollys with the purpose of knowing why the police (or the law as it’s referred to through the film) had visited them that afternoon. There’s benevolence in here as also a fierce instinct of self preservation; two forces that drive the story forward. Ree accepts both these forces with a line that sums up her own view about the kinship – ‘never ask for what ought to be offered.’

The arrival of the law sets the things in motion. Ree’s father, Jessup, who’s out on bond on charges of ‘cooking’ meth has gone missing a week before his court date. This wouldn’t have meant much to the family except he has pledged the house and the farm to the court. Finding Jessup is the only thing that will keep the family from being out in the cold. The motive for Ree is established. She has to find her father before the week’s up.

This isn’t an easy task. As Ree goes looking for him, she finds an almost mafia-like code of silence pervading the community. She’s constantly advised to stop looking for him for her own good. There are ruses set up to leade her to believe he may be dead including a burnt barn (that’s when you first think of Faulkener) which seems to have gone up in flames because of the meth exploding while cooking. The reactions to her search range from angry but well meaning advice from her uncle Teardrop to active support from her friend (a teenager who already has a baby which makes the parenting class shown earlier in the film quite appropriate), threat of violence from others involved in the meth trade and finally, violence at the hands of women of the house of the local ringleader. Through all this Ree doggedly pursues in her quest. On the surface this is for her family and for a roof on their heads in this particularly harsh winter. But underlying it is Ree’s desire to understand the lives around her and her own life as it would be. By the time Ree finds her father you know she won’t remain the girl she was before she started this search.

This is an incredibly nuanced film. The cold weather and the landscape of Ozarks are used to create a cold, detached mood through the film. Meth is an all pervading character in the film. You see people addicted to it, dying of it, peddling it and living off it. There’s a matter of fact acceptance that eventually everyone will take to it when you find Teardrop asking Ree if she’s developed any taste for it. There is also chauvanism of the kind that would make khap panchayats proud. The distinct sense of discomfort is not only from the nature of Ree’s questions but the fact that she is a woman who is going about seeking such information. And, when things come to a pass, it is the women of Thump Milton’s house (the local ringleader) who get violent with Ree. The men couldn’t bring themselves to be harsh on a girl.

The film rests on Ree’ shoulders and, this is, quite possibly, the best written female character seen on screen for a long time. Ree is remarkably assured and level headed for the kind of world she lives in. It was easy to make her precocious but she isn’t. She has preserved a set of ideals that she lives by and they give her the fortitude to shoulder on as well as the vulnerability to break down when she finds the seizing of the house by court imminent. You could almost see they way life could have turned out for her when she goes to the Army recruitment centre. The singularity of purpose in the face of odds and the moral courage that she demonstrates would have been attributes of a fine young soldier. Those attributes aren’t lost. They eventually help her discover the truth in a test of grit that’s almost mythical.

Winter’s Bone is a poetic film. There’s lyricism amidst dirt, hunger and betrayal. There’s hope and optimism at the end that juxtaposes with an eerie sense of what Ree might become eventually. It’s poetry because it doesn’t wait to explain. It flows and takes you along till the final sequence. Ree on a rowboat on a pond on an inky cold night along with Thump Milton’s women. There’s a surreal beauty around that pond that hides the macabre truth that Ree already knows but is about to ascertain.

The water’s icy cold and the moment the chainsaw cuts to the bone, you know why this is a mould-breaking coming of age film. You also discover why it’s titled Winter’s Bone.

Until very recently I was quite unaware of a concept called creative diffidence. Or let’s say creative insignificance. I always thought talent was immeasurable. Everyone had their own share and it’s really upto you to do what you will with it. And even if you had been passed up your share then passion, intellect, skill or some such thing made up for it. Then one day I was speaking to a copywriter friend who is an ardently devoted worshipper (notice the redundancy, its purposeful) of Frank Zappa. This friend plays the guitar, composes and also has set up this small studio at his place to further his passion for music. That night along with waxing eloquent on his studio he was going on about Zappa too and he caught my breath (yes, note that disjunct too) when he said that listening to Zappa makes him feel totally disheartened. Why? The bewildered me asked. He replied, ‘Because I feel so inconsequential as an artist when I listen to his genius. I mean, here is Zappa who is a genius and here I am, doing what I am doing which doesn’t even compare. So why I am doing it at all?’

The stubbornly optimistic, idealistic girl inside me refused to understand what he said then. But those very words and that drowning sort of sentiment in his voice kept coming back to me as I watched 127 hours.

I knew Boyle is a genius. And so is Rahman. I like Franco and loved the premise. It had got spirit, adventure, optimism, fight, survival written all over it, things that make me go very smack-my-lips even in real life. In all truth I went to watch the story of Aron Ralston, not a Danny Boyle film. What I got threw me off with a 50,000 mph force of a meteorite, probably the same ancestor of Ralston’s boulder…

I went in with the expectation to be ‘inspired’ by the story but kept getting awe-struck at the shot-taking. All throughout, right till the end I kept thinking, ‘How the fuck did he shoot that? How the fuck did he execute that? But before execution comes thinking. Imagination. Every time I am bowled over by genius I always ask myself this bewildered question, ‘How did he even think of this?’ Ralston’s story has courage, human spirit, and all elements that have the 100% potential of the drama kind of romance. But Boyle chooses to tell the story just how it happened. Or must’ve happened (I’m not googling now, you do it.) No yarn about spirit, no yawn about courage, no senti about spirituality, no unnecessary emotion. When I first heard of the story and the digital medium and the approach I told myself, ‘Documentary-ish! No, I don’t think I am gonna watch this.’ Oh, dear meteorite in heaven, am I glad I did?

As soon as Ralston gets stuck, I was like aaah, now he is gonna get heroic. He didn’t. Then I thought now he is gonna get emotional, he did a bit but so not hysterical. Then I thought now, its just time for him to get all super-human. In a sense he did otherwise he couldn’t have done what he did, but that was so loaded with sheer desperation and that very vulnerably human wish to live that it all fit in so beautifully. Actually it was a revelation…of realism. At every step my melodrama/drama-fed/trained mind kept getting pleasantly surprised at being second-guessed and being told, ‘Wait, THIS is how a young man trapped by a boulder in a crack in a canyon without a hope for survival would react.’ And yes I agree, that was indeed how a man would react…Funny how a film can take you closer to real life.

While Boyle was keeping me enthralled with the brilliant character disclosure layer by layer he was also doing his own thing on the sly. Ace-gimmicker (I know that’s no word but you know what I mean and its all GOOD!) his aces in his sleeves kept falling out one after the other like Ralston’s hope. His dreams, his hallucinations and his attempts to rescue himself. To completely cliché myself I have to say those are set-pieces of cinematic brilliance that we don’t see often. With the razor-sharp editing Boyle blends the reality, unreality and surreality of Ralston’s situation such that all one is left with is a breath caught in one’s throat. Like when he blends Ralston’s dreams of being rescued by the rain and the other brilliant illusions he sets up for that catch of breath. How did he even think of those?

Like everyone, I had tons of issues with Slumdog and it wasn’t all to do with the portrayal of India. That’s why when I read, Screenplay – Danny Boyle and Simon Beafuoy, I was like, ‘ahem’. But this time it is sheer brilliance. The character arcs, plot points, drama and suspense are perfectly poised. At the same time retaining the essence of the story and telling it with complete honesty and respect.

I am no encyclopedia on film-making but I’ve never watched an exposition of the film as brilliant as this one. Tight, concise and full of adrenaline. And unlike most films who bother a little too much about story or experience this one was all about character. He did not need to but he did. We know Ralston as a carefree, sanguine young man in love with his expeditions. Canyon is his world he has been here many many times. Watching his exuberance at doing what he loves doing we feel, ‘Yes, this is how a man in love should be like. Happy.’ And it is this sense of security that is shattered but without shattering the man behind it. Was it that Ralston had genes from Krypton? Maybe. But what Boyle shows us is clearly a psychological study of a young human with, well, a very vulnerably human wish to live.

I thought I’d come out all blushed about the spirit of survival and all that but in fact I came out gushing about the sheer artistry with which this has been crafted. There is no mood to evoke, just the starkness of events as they happen. Not documentary re-telling but sharp, precise and edgy narrative. Not soft at the edges but yet blurred with the in-n-out surreality to suck us deep into Aron’s desperately befuddled senses.

It is tempered throughout by Rahman’s music like a perfectly matched couple doing a tango and then ballroom and then ballet. And the use of silences was almost post-coital bliss-like…He doesn’t miss a beat like Franco doesn’t. It’s unimaginable to believe he is acting or he is being filmed…the tenseness, the fatigue, the pain and the desperation, it’s palpable without a false note.

The film ends on a soft note of Aron living a happy and fulfilled life today, still doing what he loves that is adventure sports. But again, it is the part-quirky, part tongue-in-cheek, part-sentimental note it ends on that showed me Boyle for the genius that he is. It could have easily ended dead-pan or dramatically. Or it could suddenly put a sentimental spin given the climax is quite cathartic. But Boyle chooses a lighter tone yet conveys so much more! For all those who have watched it you know what I am talking of. For all those who haven’t, please watch it and experience it for yourself.

To come back to my opening para and heading. The film made me dazzlingly optimistic about human genius and the explosive talent that we as a race are so capable of. You know the kind that totally makes you proud to say you are a homo-sapien if you met an alien from Mars? It made me believe that its so possible! There IS vision, there is talent, there is imagination and there is skill and there are also those rare moments in history when all of these come together in all the men/women working with you and you make something like this. Maybe someday even I will discover this dazzling genius inside me and the product of my creative imagination will be my nirvana because if I made a film like this I’d happily die and go to heaven. But then I look at our geniuses again and think, ‘Here they are, these geniuses and here I am, doing what I am doing which doesn’t even compare. So why I am doing it at all?’

FC Ed – Click here to see the real Aron Ralston narrating his story.

Not sure when was the last time it happened – so many extreme reactions to a film. From pretentious, fuck boring to one of the best debuts, even best thing that happened to Indian Cinema in recent years.  They said it all. And the critics’ ratings varied from 2.5 to 4 stars. Click here for all the ratings.

Sunayna Prabhu loved every bit of it. When she did cinema journalism in Bombay, she bothered least about films. And when she had nothing much to do after moving to USA, she got so interested in films that she surprised us all. And when she decided to go for screenwriting course at UCLA, it was hard to believe that she was the same ‘dihadi‘ colleague we knew. Now she just loves her everyday struggle with words. She saw Mumbai Diaries ( Note – its not Dhobi Ghat there) recently and blames Kiran Rao for making her so nostalgic about the city. Read on…scattered thoughts from her diary….

Any one with an aversion to evocative text can stop right here. This post is as much an intellectual masturbation as the movie that sent me out groaning to my husband “I’m leaving you for Pratiek Babber”. ‘Mumbai Diaries’ released in Hollywood this Friday and I ran to see it merely for nostalgia but it pierced through my gut and took a bit of me in every beat.

The movie seduced me despite the desolation it portrays. I yearn to return to my city against the threat that I might never have a real friend on speed dial and chances are I’ll empty my heart to a rickshaw driver. I even had a heated argument with a roommate who called it dark, depressing and disjointed! The moment I learnt her favorite movie is ‘Yaadein’, I pushed her out and slammed the door. “Movie whore” she yelled at me.

Character is You

Once I had locked myself in my studio apartment for two months. No cellphones, no radio, no TV, just writing a story that wrapped my whole existence. When I wrote like a reclusive creep, I literally became that woman in my story. I wore reds, smudged more kohl in my eyes and spoke in a husky voice that wasn’t mine. I lived her! When Aamir’s character Arun, wears Yasmin’s silver chain and ring, I get it! When he goes to the beach and writes on the sand, I get it. When she dies, a part of her that he’s been living, dies. He becomes his own muse and that’s why the storm in his stomach! He bursts out the door to seek someone, but cringes and mourns like a baby in front of a neighbor who won’t even blink.

Mumbai is not Madhubala

So many times I’ve walked the streets of Mumbai after a fight with a bare face to the world “No one cares.” Yet, there’s always the flower girl at the traffic light who’ll stare into your eyes like she knows, the Eunuchs who’ll bless you without a penny, and the rickshaw driver will play Burman in the rain. The city has it’s own morphine. Just like the movie, scattered with images of people that make it livable. Whoever says the filmmaker should have shown a bit of Mumbai’s beauty, go take a flying fuck because Mumbai is not Madhubala. Mumbai is that dirty, raunchy, intoxicating temptress who’ll whip you to tears of ecstasy.

“Mumbai my love, my whore!” Don’t all artists ejaculate their inspiration and breathe like they’ve had an orgasm? I do!

Aah Aamir, Ooh Prateik

Also loved Kiran’s choices, except Aamir Khan. Why does he arch those eyebrows and bulge pupils into the camera to prove he’s intense? Leech. He sucked the flesh and blood of his own character. Oh the long drags, perfect rings of smoke, the pompous Marc Jacobs and Calvin Klein’s and that cocky grey hair. A twit- stuck-in-Ghajini murdered a delicious, fragile, sensitive character! Aah Aamir – You give men blue-balls and the reason why women never hit the big O! Exhale honey, will you?

Few, very few, snippets of Yasmin Noor’s dialogue through her ‘Mumbai darshan’ videos were corny, but they were true to her character. Yasmin, an immigrant like me, tries to introduce the beauty of a foreign land eagerly to her family that probably has taken her absence for granted. She’s that “outsider” within many of us. I often get philosophical while saying the most trivial things about America. I’ve recorded the streets of Hollywood and Miami while ‘Des mera rangeela babu’ played the background score in my car. Yasmin’s background score is her ‘voice’ “Yeh samunder sab kuch apne aap  mein samet leta hai’ although cringe-worthy, it’s real! Perhaps the director nailed it! My heart flipped out when she talks about the taste of mangoes in the city versus her hometown. Agreed it’s not poetry, but I get it. When I walk into the aisles of American grocery stores and find hormone-injected produce everywhere, I lose my appetite. “yahan ke aam mein wahan jaise taste kahan” That voice is real.

Munna! I don’t care who he bangs – rats, clothes or hideous women. Pratiek is my “bitter-chocolate boy.” Irresistible. Unstoppable. A guy I’d love to remake ‘9 ½ weeks’ with. He’s not just going to eat up those blue-blooded run-of-the-mill kapoors and stone-faced Imran’s, he’ll hopefully force great writers and talented filmmakers to surface. Hope he won’t drink n drive and kill people on the sidewalks, rest assured, in all my dreams I’ll have his babies.

Shai is an Indian-American like me. She doesn’t rely on subtext; she just knows her shit too well. She’s just being a true friend to Munna hoping not to polarize him like her maid Agnes who brings tea in a separate cup for him. Shai connects with Arun but doesn’t ever impose herself into his life. I saw a typical liberal woman, confident of her sexuality. That’s not as rare in Mumbai these days, or is it ?

Loving Strangers

Loved the neighbor. Such a strong metaphor for the people who live next door. None, I mean it, none of my neighbors in Mumbai ever spoke to me. I saw them only in the mornings putting garbage bins out the door. I didn’t care. There are nosey neighbors, but who is committed to your daily life? No one! The mute neighbor runs like an understated theme throughout the timeline of the movie. Gorgeous.

‘Mumbai Diaries’ is a rare mood piece to indulge in. Like the gooey, viscous chocolate lava that makes your hands dirty and leaves a flavor in your mouth that keeps you drooling for days!! Here’s last few words for those who hate this movie like my roommate who called me a movie whore–aahhh aaahhh aaaahhhh yes yes yessss…OMG that was so good! Suck it bitches.

(PS – Just plugged in the “Lovely Strangers” song once more)

The sequel to East Is East is here. The film is being screened at the ongoing Toronto International Film Festival. Starring Om Puri, Aqib Khan, Linda Bassett, Ila Arun and Jimi Mistry, its directed by debutant Andy De Emmony. Click on the play button to check out the trailer.

And here is the official synopsis…

Manchester, Northern England, 1976. The now much-diminished, but still claustrophobic and dysfunctional, Khan family continues to struggle for survival. Sajid, the youngest Khan, is under heavy assault both from his father’s tyrannical insistence on Pakistani tradition, and from the fierce bullies in the schoolyard. His father decides to pack him off to Mrs. Khan No 1 and family in the Punjab, the wife and daughters he had abandoned 30 years earlier. The sequel to East is East, West is West is the coming of age story of both 15-year-old Sajid and of his father, 60-year-old George Khan.

And click here and here to read two early reviews, published in Screen Daily and The Hollywood Reporter.

Mommy asked – what is Twitter ? Moi – Its a lazy man’s tool, must be invented by the laziest person on this earth. Mommy – How so ? Moi – You say everything in just 140 characters. Mommy – Wow! Me, your dad and Granny desperately need one Mr Twitter between! Moi – #JGrin.

And when lazy men like us are dragged to watch a film that they have no intention of watching, what do they do ? Tweet. Tweet. Fom the promos and the publicity material of Lamhaa, we felt like its going to be Kaante 2. Kashmir Ke Kaante! Don’t get us wrong, we are all for political films but not bollywoodized versions!

So, here goes our compiled list of all the live-tweets from Lame-ha ? (plagiarised from Varun’s tweet ). Plus, the key words in BOLD.

Sm1 dragged me to the theatres for #Lamhaa. BEWARE! If am getting bored, will flood d timeline. Ths seems 2 b d worst this week.

In #Lamhaa Sanjubaba is Gul DUDE Jehangir. Nt sure fm which angle he is Gul OR Jehangir bt DUDE fm every angle. Sudnly a song n he is Munabhai 2

It hs mor information than Inception bt nothing new RT @KausPD: @moifightclub jst 1 tweet in 35 mins, looks like you are enjoying lamha 😉

#Lamhaa Interval – it promised to tell the ‘untold story of kashmir‘. So far, nothing that i dont know/havent read/seen/heard

#Lamhaa – ok, m convinced. Kashmir just needs few Sanjay SLO-MO Dutts. And every problem will be solved. Am serious.

#Lamhaa is also subtitled. Every 5mins. Tells u d location. At one point, it read …village of half widows. Am i missing something ?

#Lamhaa – every 5mins, someone reminds you – yeh kashmir hai janaab n then blahblah. Yeh kashmir hai bhaijaan n then blahblah. more blah!

RT @jahanbakshi: @moifightclub: If you’re too bored, try and spot if Bips is sporting Reebok Easytone sneakers. #classicproductplacements

#Lamhaa – Bet Rahul Dholakia can write a gr8 thesis paper on Cash-mir. But not sure how many thesis paper can translate into decent script.

#Lamhaa – ok, now m LOST. Its more complicated thn #Inception. I swear. If u dont believe, try it.

#Lamhaa – d zee news reporter is suddenly reporting in english. When did they launch english news channel ? pls enlighten.

#Lamhaa – Kunal Kapoor’s azaadi and then ‘vapas aa jao’ speeches r hilarious. On dais u nid furniture but not wid a mike in front of them!

#Lamhaa -like Kashmir, boils dwn 2 nothing. Our films genraly lack resarch bt this one is surely over-researchd n still offrs nothing new

#Lamhaa – strts n ends wid so many info plates. Someone just nid to push d delete button for d film in between to go away. U dont nid a bomb!

RT @singh_dr so @moifightclub havin Lazy Lamhe in Lamha ?

RT @DannyBoy84 @moifightclub “Serious political” Hindi movies are good at telling you what you already know. Haven’t seen Lamhaa yet but same symptoms i c

RT @mriganayanika Don’t watch Lamhaa for anything. Its cherry was popped by a very haggard Dutt.

Conclusion – Dholakia is a far better Gujrati filmmaker (Parzania) than a J&K reporter (Lamhaa). Brave effort, noble intention, bad casting, hilarious acting and over-researched mish-mash leading to nowhere! Atleast, it connects with the Kashmir problem on the last point.

Is this the bestest friday we have seen in ages ? Seems so. The Baap of every mind-bending game is here! Christopher Nolan, with his Inception. Plus, there is Udaan by Vikramaditya Motwane, Tere Bin Laden and Rahul Dholakia’s Lamhaa. Ok, rest can wait. Back to Inception.

The year was 1997. He was “Chris Nolan” on the credits then. But as they, the signs were all there. Watch it, if you havent seen it yet – the short film by the master before the world discovered him through Following.

We are Nolan-bhakts since we saw Following and he still delivers and how! As we saw his latest release Inception, I flooded the Twitter timeline with orgasmic, or should we call it Nolan-asmic tweets! If you are not on Twitter, here is all our gloating, as friends called it, all in 140 characters……..

I.N.C.E.P.T.I.O.N. See you guys after the dream (Jackass grin) !

Interval – HOLY FUCKETY FUCK! NOBODY, nobody is gonna fuck you like this. Everything is explained slowly but you CANT even blink!

Inception – go with as much expectations as u want! Its a BET! Nolan plants an idea, gives u orgasm, ditches u and gives u hard-on again!

Inception – anyone try writing the spoiler alerts…its gonna be one fat book u cant even imagine. Am not sure what can Nolan do after this.

Inception – did i mention its a love story! Ur mind is d scene of the crime. But ur heart gonna pull the trigger!

Inception – at every scene u r given explanation. Sm call it dialogue exposition. But still, it defies all gravity!

Inception – am willing to sponsor Aamir khan’s ticket. He didn’t understand Memento. I want to see the expression on his face after this one.

Inception -not sure if any1 ever balanced matters of head N heart so perfectly well 2 get u into d trap. Oops, did he beat my God C.Kaufman. J.Grin

As i said, I Luv Hate Storys. Cue – J. Grin! RT @Rychyk: @moifightclub I HATE YOU…make that WE. 😦

Envelope? He pushed d whole post office! RT @vicramb @moifightclub Knwing him,Smthing evn crazier! Tht guy really knws how 2 push d envelope

Inception – as d movie is about 2 end n u think Nolan has done everything possible 2 u, he delivers a BIG punch in d last scene. V r still debating it.

now m still in d Nolanland. Bet u cant locate me! J. Grin! RT @Envyas @moifightclub OK,stop this gloating or I know where u stay. :p

Block me 😉 not sure when i will b able 2 do that again RT @ArtRevel @moifightclub I want to Block you till I watch it 🙂 Making me jealous

# Ok, one last one…after all d Inception tweets how many Nolanbhakts cant sleep 2nite…wanna count 😉 and i will be in a dream! Aha, life!

So, have you booked you tickets ? Don’t forget to book you brains too. Ok, get that over-booked! J. Grin (we just can’t get enough of it). Also, releasing this friday is Udaan. And click here to read our review of Udaan.

PS – Don’t forget to let us know what you felt about it. And what do you think about the last scene/sequence of the film ?

Sigh! Never felt so bad, sad, sleepy and my (single) head spinning at the same time! Blame it on Raavan’s ten heads! But where were they ? Remained all inside Ratnam’s head only.

First a confession – Its not a review. As usual, just some ramblings. Because a movie so bad and that too coming from one of the best filmmakers of our country, am not in my senses yet.

Second confession – Since my nappy days, as long as i remember, have fallen asleep in a movie theatre only thrice. First, it was Haan Maine Bhi Pyaar Kiya Hai. Second time, it was Saawariya and third time, its Raavan. Falling asleep during Ratnam film, its blasphemous! I know, guilty as charged! But do watch the film and then, lets talk.  Anyway, after coming out of the theatre, i quickly called up a friend to figure out what i missed during those precious minutes, and realised that it was a high point of the film’s (poly)graph!

Am still not sure how and where to start. Yeah, credit roll looks superb. And so do, lot of shots. You can take that as a guarantee for any Ratnam film anyway. And this time he teams up with Santosh Sivan. Has to be magic! But how many picture postcards can you stare at ? Plus, there is distraction by Abhishek Bachchan’s growling (reminded me of Anil Kapoor’s irritating dialogue delivery style in Tashan) and Aishwarya Rai’s shrieks and screams in squeaky voice! And poor Vikram (was expecting so so much), he is just the RayBan guy in slo-mo! Even Govinda and Ravi Kishen have more lines than him and are actually best suited for their roles.

You get to see Raavan’s much hyped ten heads only in the credit roll. After that, its only Rahman’s african sounds main-ghumanjalo-aaa -ghumen-jaloooo or whatever it is. The entire first half is only chase sequence. It starts with a bang, grabs you instantly and then drags on and on and on and on till interval. In between, suddenly there is a flashback sequence in Vikram’s voice and it seems he is narrating his own story to himself. (BTW, has anyone still figured out who was narrating Raajneeti’s flashback sequence  and to whom and where he suddenly vanishes! If you know, do enlighten)

Am guessing we all know the basic plot of the film. But the funniest part is the way Raavan falls in love with Sita (or Ragini). Its her free fall from the cliff and he falls in love with her! Never before has “falling in love” being shot so literally.

Have always believed that when it comes to shooting songs in Hindi films, nobody can beat Mani Ratnam. And this time, he proves that theory wrong too. You dont remember a single song after coming out of the theatre. Infact, I was ROFLOL when the romantic number between Vikram & Aishwarya played on screen. He is eating, she is dancing, he is sleeping, she is  dancing, he is staring, she  is dancing, he is having drinks, she is dancing, he wants breakfast, she is dancing and making it, he wants to make love, she is still dancing. And all in weird poses! This is suppose to be the love quotient of Vikram-Aishwaryaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh! Give me that Arvind Swamy-Manisha Koirala’s hide & seek dance anyday! A stare here, a peek there – aha, magic!

Coming to Raavan’s politics, this time also Ratnam has played it all safe. The place, setting, language, customs, clothes –  its all vague. Where is Laal Maati ? Who are its native people ? Tribals, villagers, naxalites ? Why is Abhishek Bachchan’s name Beera Munda ? Is it a take on the tribal leader Birsa Munda ? Otherwise, who are these Mundas ?

Post interval, the story moves a little bit taking plot points from Ramayan. Shurpanakha’s naak is pulled and they even try to create a  Bivishan. And then all of a sudden, its dhoom-dhaam-dhadaap and i went to sleep….zzzzzzz. Woke up to realise that Ratnam has proved how Ram can be Raavan and Raavan can be Ram. Blame it on the character (poly)graph in the story. The best joke in the film. And as they say, rest is history.

Feeling much bad for the cast and  crew. Because you can see the rough terrain in which the film has been shot. Add water to  those rough locations, Ratnam-Sivan gets a hard on, making it more strenuous for themselves and everyone else! Its easy to spot that how much effort has gone into it. The bridge scene is one of the best scenes ever shot in a hindi film because its all real location…its takes your breath away. But then, you come back to the BIG picture and it doesn’t make any sense in any way.

Mani Saar – What were you smoking, drinking, doing ? Even if its untrue, please declare it just once that you didn’t direct this film. Put the blame on someone else. Just a fictitious name will also do. Will  feel little better and will be able to sleep peacefully tonight. I still can’t believe its you!

(PS – I can bet that the first half of the film has been made on the edit table. Have confirmed it too. There is not a single scene which makes sense. Its only montages, which jumps from one to another, and looks choppy without making sense of any kind of narrative. )

Thats what Fatema Kagalwala is wondering.

I saw the film recently and came out of the theatre with mixed feelings. Happy, that its doing good at the box office. Sad, that it seems like intelluctual Race. Bus jhatke pe jhatke. Dialogue pe dialogue! Its just a thrill-pill with political mask. And I still have no clue who was narrating the story to whom in the beginning of the film and then, it suddenly vanishes! Anyway, back to Fatema’s review. Read, discuss and dissect. Have underlined my favourite lines.

When the film began I was all agog with anticipation. ‘Fan-girl’, you’ll smirk. No.  I like Jha’s films and I think he is a great story-teller (well, sometimes) but am not a fan. At least in the usual sense of the word. And even if I were, I generally watch all films removed from expectations, impressions or pre-conceived notions, (which is how they are supposed to be watched in the first place, it’s something else, giving yourself up to a film) well, the latter sometimes get heavily influenced by trailors/promos mostly misleading but that’s not my fault!

Secondly, I had read so many bad reviews about Rajneeti and from people whose opinion I respect and that does not include the Sens and Chopras of the world (Not the beauty queens but then they might as well be, they are no different, just brand names). So, I went expecting or wanting nothing. Just with curiosity.

And I got an extremely entertaining commercial thriller posing as a serious political drama made by a man known for everything that he has not shown in the film. Bad acting apart, bad adaptation apart, bad (terrible) writing apart, Rajneeti stood out for me as a classic example of a story well-told, the story itself be damned. I itch to rip it apart threadbare but a Manmohan Desai film cannot warrant the same analysis as a Bergman film, can it? And Rajneeti, for whatever it is, is not a Jha film, is not a serious film and it is not a film to be taken seriously either. Still, I will still rip it apart because it is so much fun to do. And this is not a review so please don’t cry.

Before I do that, time for another disclaimer. I liked the film. (I can even sit through it for a second time.) And everyone who is itching to bang the comment section with red-hot full caps words like ‘How could you like the film, blah, blah bloo blee’ should understand that the fact of a film being good is exclusive from the fact of someone liking it or not. Yes, the assumed perception is that we ‘like’ only those things that are good (Really?) and so if I liked it, it must be good. Well, thank you for giving my tastes so much benefit of doubt, but I like lasagna as much as yesterday’s stale pizza fresh from the fridge and biryani as much as road-side Bangalore chaat. (Bangalore’s got the worst road-side chaat on earth.) And I would continue to do so even if I were a food critic.

So, Rajneeti. It is an engaging film.The narrative, even though flawed in its ideology, flawed in its character graphs, in the exploration of its context and setting, trivializing serious issues to profit dramatic and even melodramatic moments etc, is punchy. It keeps the audience hooked, edge of the seat excited right till the end when it trips upon itself and becomes incredibly silly.

And till now I believed that if a film was engaging it was a good film. But Rajneeti proved me wrong on that. It is a strongly told narrative, grabbing attention by force while never looking forced (unless the performances are, case-in-point the Kunti-Karan-Kavachh-Kundal scene. The alliteration is not mine. Blame Ved Vyaas for it.) But does it come together as a satisfactory cinematic experience? To me it didn’t. Amar Akbar Anthony still does, if one is looking for an example of engaging films that are good. (We will discuss what’s a good film some day here.)

If it is engaging, a story well-told then what goes wrong for the film? We shall begin with writing, my favourite. That’s always the culprit, in most bad ones. The film is structured like a historical droning on and on, packing as much as it can, yet where crispness turns shallow under the disguise of economy. This saga is woven together for this very sake of economy by older than Mahabharata (or as old? ‘Main Samay Hoon?’) tactic of voice-overs. The charter of film-making (we should have one) should declare any film using V/Os anymore be banned unless done differently. In an attempt to pack back-stories and backgrounds, the film rushes through years in the first fifteen minutes with a tacky after-thought of an exposition and settles around the issue of winning one election. Which takes more than two hours and multiple deaths on-screen to be finally won. Surely, there was a better way to structure it?

Like a historical, the film pretends to be important, as important as its epic counterpart Mahabharata, from which it borrows heavily and gives back nothing. That pretence becomes all the more petty when Godfather steps in for good measure. All promotional brouhaha (more about that later) about Sonia Gandhi’s story aside, a film that puts together Godfather and Mahabharata, two of the most powerful stories ever told, in itself makes for interesting viewing. But, if you cannot respect the classics by leaving them alone do not insult them (and us) by cut-paste-copy jobs. Rajneeti, by far is just that. The initial referencing seems a bit too obvious but can be taken as lengthy exposition given the scope of the story. But as it winds (down) it just borrows plot points after plot points, even unnecessary ones in a hastily stitched patchwork of a film. Right down to the unnecessary deaths that subsume the bloody drama into silly melodrama.

While we are talking about bad writing we shall talk about the epitome of all bad characterizations which is Samar. All others play out crosses between their Godfather selves and Mahabharata roles in various degrees of ability and inability but it is Samar’s character, though portrayed ably by Ranbir Kapoor, is the single undoing of an otherwise strongly-held commercial film. Like Padmaja Thakore’s review on PFC so very well put it, he is the most menacing of all criminals who after orchestrating tons of bloody deaths turns around in the end and says none of it interests him anymore. But for me, it is worse when he justifies it by spewing gyaan on how dirty politics is and how ‘andar ka jaanwar bahaar aa jaata hain’ and all that jazz. In one stroke it killed the whole film, (something that even Arjun Rampal’s or Katrina Kaif’s desperate attempts at acting could not do). That take, suited Shakti of ‘Virasat’ but not our confused Arjun-cum-Michael (zyaada) Samar. It is but only a reflection of a lack of political, social or ethical strand that the film had or even pretended to have reducing itself from what could have been a significant political film to a revenge family drama.

Realism was never a thought that crossed the maker’s minds despite the genre of his repertoire and his first-hand experience of the politics and hence the drama operates in a bubble, much like My Name Is Khan did, in a never-land which has the look and feel of the UP-Bihar belt but neither has its grit, its dirt, its earthiness or even its dialect, leave alone its politics. Moreover, the use of dalit politics is almost a shame as cursorily as it has been used. Everything, the politics, the land, the people and the context are a gaudily and hastily painted backdrop, much like the ones seen put up at Filmcity for B-grade film songs. So even if you are just talking about politics as a game, don’t reduce it to mere kabaddi!

Jha and Rajabali play some more kabaddi with their unique treatment of relationships, love, familial or sexual. It is surprising, or interesting, or both to note the flippancy with which romantic and sexual relationships are treated in the film. We will leave aside the moral issue of the stand the film takes or doesn’t by its strange portrayal of sexual relationships by giving benefit of doubt to the fact that maybe the makers hadn’t heard of protection or birth control. (Considering the writing technique is so old the film may have been written decades back, much before Copper-T and its setting sun ads hit the market). It is not a cause of real concern here as the film takes no stand on it just makes a fool of itself. But on a cinematic level it is a cause of concern as visually the scenes are presented as referentially as the relationships they are born of, are treated. Why I choose to make a point of it is because this guilty exploration sexual relationships in our movies is irritating the hell out of me. Sex scenes exist in a movie (commercial films) for two reasons, titillation or to define the romance. First of all, a film like Rajneeti needed none. (Its films like ‘In Mood for love’ that can use it but wont but that sensibility is something else!) Secondly, even if you use it for titillation the go all out and give the first benchers what they came for! And if you are pretending to do it aesthetically then do it like Mani Rathnam, no one does it better than him! And he doesn’t even have to pretend!

Here I am venting to my hearts content about a film I had no expectations about, which I even enjoyed! And I know scores of people who, fooled by the publicity of the film are actually raving mad. And this publicity angle really makes me raving mad too! It is like a promising an orange and delivering an apple! The blatancy of this deception makes me wonder, is it that the makers never have the faith in what they have made to publicise it as what it is? Or is it that the opening weekend is all that has begun to matter in a world of fast-decaying cinema?

The film could have sold on its own steam and did not need false alarm PR tactics that only led to depress certain sections of the audience. With its eye on commerce its sensibilities are purely commercial too. From that standpoint, Rajneeti works beautifully. Three hours of complete pop-corn crunching time-pass which has its repeat value. So what are we really cribbing about?

PJ – As a reviewer wrote, ” Perhaps Prakash Jha is just punning on his initials, and laughing at us all”. We thought its priceless and deserves to be QOTD! But who knew that PJ would really get down to play dirty and stupid politics. First story is our conspiracy theory and second, our sources say, is cent percent true. And if second story is true, then we are sure about the first one too.

Here is the conspiracy theory. Padmaja Thakore posted a review of Fart-neeti on PFC, and in not so kind words. Two days later, the post vanished. No reason was given, where and how. And if you have been following Padmaja Thakore’s posts, then its not difficult to figure out how strongly she defends her reviews. Suddenly withdrawl symptoms! Why ?

We were curious and tried to put two plus two together. We found out that she is married to filmmaker Manish Tiwari who made his debut with Dil Dosti Etc. The film was produced by Prakash Jha. According to our theory, PJ must have got to know about the review and didn’t take it lightly. Ghar ka bhedi Bivishan, ok, Bivishan’s wife ( Yes, if they can take Mahabharata route, we are going Ramayan way). And thats why, without any reason Padamaja Thakore removed her Raajneeti post from PFC. If you are still interested in reading it, click here to read the post. Courtesy – Google cache!

Now, the fact. We have got to know that PJ has been calling the big bosses of one of the popular websites and has threatened to sue them and their reviewer. Reason ? Their Fart-neeti review and the reviewer’s hilarious pricesless quotes on him and his Fart-neeti film. It seems PJ, unlike his intials, doesnt have a funny bone. And our sources say that this news is cent percent true. If this is true, we are sure that our conspiracy theory is correct too.

Whats more, this is not the first time that PJ is doing it. When his film Apaharan released, something similar had happened. The film had a tie-up with one of the major hindi news channels. But when the channel gave a bad review to the film, PJ called up the person concerned and got into an altercation, on how they can give bad review to the film when they are channel partner! Since then, the two have not been on talking terms!

Someone need to tell Mr PJ that any kind of partnership doesnt mean that you own the editorial right over any kind of content! Unless, its Khat-Ni LajMi ! And yes Mr PJ, now we know why you lost the elections, not once but twice. Think big, play politics at bigger level, not dirty & petty ones!

PS – And after all this, we read a profile of PJ in the latest issue of Tehelka that portrays him as a man born with instinctive love for risk! Yawwwwnnn…..we have happily moved to Open!

PPS – Dont get us wrong, we also used to love his films. But then, his “films” used to deal with politics and not “him”! Now its all just a PJ!