Archive for July, 2009

raavanMani  Ratnam’s Raavan has been in the news for all the wrong reasons. And if a lil birdie from Kerala’s jungles is to be believed, the film’s schedule is in a royal mess!

Ratnam has already shot for more than 100 days and when he saw the rushes, believe it or not, it turned out to be only 20% of the film. He chucked the rest. Some 600 cans have already been exposed and with so lil output! Now Ratnam has decided to re-shoot major portions of the film.

Shooting permission issues in Kerala & Ooty, had a heart attack and then he wasn’t happy with Manikandan’s work. Everything went wrong. Manikandan has been replaced with his old favourite Santosh Sivan.

With Reliance’s big money, he surely doesn’t need to worry about the finances but the problem is with the actors’ dates. The hindi version stars Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai, Govinda & Vikram. In the tamil version, Vikram potrays Abhishek’s role and has Aishwarya Rai & Prithviraj in the lead. The actors have been asked to give fresh dates.

Ratnam is going back to the jungles of Kerala soon to re-shoot the portions. And after that, there is shooting schedule of more than 180 days to be completed. At this rate, they should rename the film as Such a Long Road to Perdition!

The critics have thrashed the film completely but Akshay Kumar is quite gung-ho about it. He thinks Kambakkht Ishq is family entertainment, great timepass and has nothing offensive or vulgar. CNN IBN’s Rajeev Masand attacks Akshay Kumar directly, on the show To Catch A Star, and Akki defends the film completly. To read the interview, click here for the complete text. To watch it, click on the video. Its a six part video and the direct link to the video page is here.

He also explains in great details the funda of Kutta, kuttteeeeee, kutiya, dog & bitch. Its a must watch! 

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Like us, if you are googling and shouting out Dhen Tedan at regular intervals, we got something more. The complete lyrics of the title track of Kaminey – Dhen Tedan! Now sing along! Lyrics – Gulzar. Music – Vishal Bhardwaj. Singers – Vishal Dadlani &  Sukhwinder Singh.

For a change, we are putting something in hindi. So if you are not comfortable with hindi, bear with us.

Kamineyगीत : ढेन-टेड़ान
फ़िल्म : कमीने (2009)
गायक : सुखविंदर, विशाल डडलानी
संगीतकार : विशाल भारद्वाज
गीतकार : गुलज़ार

आजा आजा दिल निचोड़ें
रात की मटकी तोड़ें
कोई गुडलक निकालें
आज गुल्लक तो फोड़ें

तिल तिल तारा मेरा तेली का तेल
कौड़ी कौड़ी पैसा पैसा, पैसे का खेल
चल चल सड़कों पे होगी ढेन ढेन
ढेन-टेड़ान टेडाटेडान
ढेन-टेड़ान टेडाटेडान

आजा कि, वन-वे है ये ज़िंदगी की गली, एक ही चांस है
आगे हवा ही हवा है, अगर सांस ले तो ये रोमांस है

यही कहते हैं, यही सुनते हैं
जो भी जाता है, जाता है, वो फिर से आता नहीं

आजी आजा दिल निचोड़ें…

कोई चाल ऐसी चलो यार, अबके समंदर भी पुल पे चले
फिर तू चले उसपे या मैं चलूं, शहर हो अपने पैरों तले
कहीं खबरें हैं, कहीं कब्रें हैं
जो भी सोये हैं कब्रों में, उनको जगाना नहीं

आजा आजा दिल निचोड़ें
रात की मटकी तोड़ें
कोई गुडलक निकालें
आज गुल्लक तो फोड़ें

तिल तिल तारा मेरा तेली का तेल
कौड़ी कौड़ी पैसा पैसा, पैसे का खेल
चल चल सड़कों पे होगी ढेन ढेन

ढेन-टेड़ान टेडाटेडान ढेन-टेड़ान टेडाटेडान

And if you haven’t heard the song yet, click on the video link for the complete song.

Among the new breed, Dibakar Banerjee is one of our favourite filmmakers. Two films, Khosla Ka Ghosla & Oye Lucky Lucky Oye, and you know he belongs to a different tribe. Outlook magazine has done a cover story on the lovelogy of  indian cinema. There are essays by Sudhir Mishra, Paromita Vohra, Santosh Desai and others. To read Dibakar’s piece, click here or scroll down.

I Love You. Now Make Tea.

What film romances don’t talk about when they talk about love

dibakarMost of love is but a memory of it. How it used to be. How it used to feel. I was reminded of this while watching two of the most haloed Bollywood romances ever, late one night while researching for my next film—which is about love.

I choked, saw most of the films through a teary film over my eyes and my minus five glasses, then got up and spooned with my wife and partner of fifteen years and pretended I was seventeen again.

Now I’m told love conquers all. I have proof otherwise. Making tea in the morning conquers all. Coming back home early from work conquers all. Cleaning out the study conquers all.

But try making a film out of these things. Or even a memory. I dare you.

Hence, the memories of love long gone. Memories of when you were seventeen. When she walked into class, hesitant, shy. You looked at her face once and looked away. Memories of a knee-length skirt, perfectly waxed calves ending in a pair of Nikes you could never afford.

You never thought of touching her. She walked in a light of her own, glowing, carrying her own backlight and diffusion filter that made stars shine out of her earrings.

Some days you noticed her body, as she played in the basketball court. But you turned away, hot and confused. Most days you thought of dying of cancer in a luxurious hospital single room, while she wept quietly at your bedside, holding your hand and a thermometer. She could be loved, all your life, safe in your memory, tucked away, close at hand, and you could make a film on her anytime.

Bitch is, they had made them already.

How on earth could they know what you were thinking at night, nuzzling your pillow, alone, nursing a heart aching to be broken?

Which came first? These memories? Or the films that stole them?

More importantly, whose memories do I steal?

Could someone love someone like the following?

Nearing forty love As against Forever Seventeen love. You can see the wrinkles around her eyes. She works, earns more than you, cuts through your macho nonsense, is bullshit-repellant, has a potbelly, has married once and doesn’t want kids. Can she be loved? I mean superhit, six-weeks-running loved?

Dishwasher love She does the dishes. You do the home alone writing while your wife travels. It started with guilty, slum it sex. It’s become love now. She’s ready to leave her wife-beater husband for you. If only you gave her the guilty respect you give your wife. Can she, in all her rough-fingered, detergent-corroded glory, be loved?

She gave head once love At seventeen, she was caught on tape performing fellatio on her boyfriend in a bmw 7 series. She denied it, made a fool of herself, went away and is now back in Bombay with a hideous I-don’t-care grin on her face while trying to make it big in B movies. She’s not even that pretty now. Can she be loved?

Unfair, unlovely love She’s dark and pimply. She stands all day at a shop counter wearing an ill-fitting T, cheerfully trying to find you just the right shade of pink lipstick. She smells of sweat, cheap perfume and stale coconut oil. But she finds you your pink. Can she be loved?

Bitch left me love You picked her out of the gutter when she was ready to kill herself. You got her her revenge. You gave her the strength to go out and win. Then she leaves you because you’re a loser. Can she be loved?

Making tea for her in the morning after fifteen years love She loved you when you were boyish, funny, unknown and followed her like a pooch. Now she loves you when you’re overweight, stressed and daily late from corporate dinners because, once a month, you make morning tea. Can she be loved?

One day, they’ll spoon to these loves, you’ll see.

For most of love is but a film someone else made.

For Sudhir Mishra’s take on Devdas, click here. Also, Santosh Desai on the love story without baggage, Paromita Vohra on the love games, Prasoon Joshi on lovelogy songs and Naman Ramchandran on taboo love. Interesting!

Mallika Sherawat is on a promotional over-drive for her film Hissss. And her mantra is twitter twitter! So she is twittering about every move, every pic, every bit of news and videos of her. And if its Mallika Sherawat, who would mind! Here’s a new pic of Mallika Sherawat from her forthcoming film Hissss. Mallika going back to basics! The eve era. Enjoy!

Mallika Sherawat

For more on Hissss which stars Mallika Sherwat & Irfan Khan and is directed by Jennifer Lynch, click here and here. It got  the story/plot/synopsis and the trailer.

And we are loving it! Finally. Someone spoke out the truth. Mansukhani deserves it and much more.

Tarun Mansukhani directed Dostana which was a fart that achieved only one thing. An excuse for Abhishek Bachchan to win the award for the best actor in comic role in his Dad’s film award function IIFA 4( India International Film Award of Amitabh, Abhishek & Aishwarya Rai Bachchan). What more ? Yeh, it gave an anthem to all those mothers who don’t understand their gay sons, to sing & joke around…ma da ladla bigad gaya! And guess what, NDTV India was playing the same song when the Delhi High Court ruling came out decriminalising gay sex. What an irony! The song says exactly opposite of what the court said. NDTV India played the visuals of the celebrations with the audio of the Dostana song! The channel lost it long ago. So we are cool with that.

Coming back to the topic. Those of you who follow Pritish Nandy on twiteer, must have read his tweet. And those who don’t, take a look.

Pritish Nandy tweet2

Nandy’s tweet reads – Guess what, Tarun Mansukhani has just claimed that his film Dostana helped change the attitude towards gays in India. What a pompous ass!

As soon as the Delhi High court verdict came out, Tarun Mansukhani gave hundred interviews claiming how his film Dostana helped in changing the attitude towards gays in India. We thought it did the reverse. Made a big joke out of it. For one such interview, click here. And here is one more where he even talks about Brokeback Mountani. Guts!

Aamir Khan & Katrina Kaif

So is Aamir Khan all ready for the Guru Dutt biopic ? Well, he still has to say yes to the film. Ad filmmaker Shivendra Singh Dungarpur has approached Aamir for the same and Anurag Kashyap is writing the script. Nothing has been finalised so far. But it seems he doesn’t mind bit of dress rehearsal. The pic is from the cover of Cineblitz magazine. Aamir Khan as Guru Dutt, hmmm, ok, we don’t have much choice. But Katrina Kaif as Waheeda Rehman ? WTF!! We can’t be so desperate. Just look at her. If only make up & photoshop could get the right expressions. Huh!

And here is the original one.

Pyaasa pic

Talking of Guru Dutt, here is an absolute favourite pic from his other classic Kagaz Ke Phool. So much expression packed in a pic. Aha…pure magic! Waheeda Rehman may keep on denying everything, from scratch to finish, but then how do you get such expressions ? Just acting. Rumours for her, life & death for him. They don’t make them like him any more.

Kagaz Ke Phool

Rensil D’Silva ? He is ad filmmaker & screenwriter ( Rang De Basanti, Luck ) and is making his directorial debut with Saif Ali, Kareena Kapoor & Vivek Oberoi in the lead. The film is titled Kurbaan ( earlier titled Jehad) and is produced by Karan Johar’s Dharma Productions.

new yorkHere is the dope. Rensil recently checked out Kabir Khan’s New York, the new film from Yashraj Films. And he was shocked to see that two scenes in New York are exactly the same as it is in his film Kurbaan. Now how is that possible ? He quickly called up Karan to inform him about it. Karan generally sends all his scripts to Aditya Chopra for his feedback. Well, the dots got connected soon.

Now, Rensil D’Silva doesnt know what to do. He can’t go back and re-shoot those two scenes. And if he keeps the same scenes, it will look like he copied it from New York. Which scenes ? Read on.

1) The scene where Nawajuddin is driving the car and Katrina Kaif is sitting next to him. The police guys stops the car and asks Nawajuddin to show his license. He doesn’t understand english and so reacts violently thinking that police guys are harassing him because he is a muslim.

2) The second scene is the one where John Abraham introduces Neil Nitin Mukesh to his group. He picks out the traitor in the group and tells him to run away. And then John turns to Neil and asks him to take aim at the guy.

First was Suchita Bhhatia and now its from Karan Johar. what is Aditya Chopra upto these days ?

Strangely, K Jo sold the distribution rights of his two forthcoming films Kurbaan & Wake Up Sid to UTV, instead of Yashraj films who have been distributing his films for long. And now this incident. Will K Jo trust Adi again ? The answer isn’t difficult to guess.

….Ajj din chadheya. The rest of the album has big hangover of Jab We Met (all formula – ek club number, ek romantic, ek sad, ek  emotional ) and too much of punjabhi dhoom dhadaka! Makes it look like as if Punjabi is India’s national identity, culture, language, music, dance, food and everything else!

Twist & Aahun Aahun are peppy numbers for dance floors. That’s it. Ajj din chadheya‘s video is not out but to check out the complete song play the video link.

Lyrics – Irshad Kamil, Music – Pritam. Ajj din chadeya tere rang verga – original line by Shiv Kumar Batalvi.

And like us, if you care about the lyrics, do read on. Our favourite lines in bold.

Ajj din chadheya

tere rang varga

phool sa hai khila aaj din.

 

Rabba mere din yeh na dhale

voh jo mujhe khawab mein mile

usse tu laga de ab gale

tenu dil da vasta.

 

Rabba aaya dar de yaar ke

saara jahan chod chad ke

mere sapne sawar de

tenu dil da vasta.

 

Baksha gunahon ko

sun ke duwao ko

rabba pyaar hai tune

sabko hi de diya

meri bhi aahon ko

sun le duwao ko

mujhko woh dila

mene jisko hai dil diya.

 

Aas vo pyas vo

usko de itna bataa

Woh jo mujhe dekh ke hasse

pana chahun raat din jise

Rabba mere naam kar use

tenu dil da vasta.

 

Manga jo mera hai

jata kya tera hai

maine kaun si

tujhse jannat manga li

kaisa khuda hai tu

bas naam ka hai tu

rabba jo teri

itni si bhi na chali

chahiye jo mujhe

kar de tu mujhko ataa

jeeti rahi saltanat teri

jeeti rahe aashiqui meri

de de mujhe zindagi meri

tenu dil da vaasta.

 

Rabba mere din yeh na dhale

voh jo mujhe khawab mein mile

use tu laga de abb gale

tenu dil da vasta.

Rabba aaya dar de yaar de

saara jahan chod chad ke

mere sapne sawar de

tennu dil da vasta

 

Ajj din Chadheya

tere rang varga.

Its bit early but its a big one and so the reviews have already started trickling in.

Taran Adarsh (Indiafm) – Earth shattering opening weekend & historic week 1 – 3.5 stars

Gaurav Malani ( Indiatimes) – This one is dumb-akkht ishq! – 1 star

Raja Sen ( Rediff) – The pursuit of akkiness – 1.5 star

Mayank Shekhar (NDTV) – I dare you to watch it – 1 star

Mayank Shekhar (Hindustan Times ) – Surgeon genereal’s warning – 1 star (Is Mayank writing two reviews of the same film ?)

NYTimes – The bollywood sign.

Rajeev Masand ( CNN IBN) – Kambakkht Ishq is vulgar & offensive – 1 star (poor)

Kaveree Bamzai (India Today) – Punjabi family porn – 2 stars

Shubhra Gupta ( Indian Express) – Perfect for the undemanding-whats-new-at-the-plexes crowd. 

Minty Tejpl (Mumbai Mirror) – Crass N risque – 2 stars

Baradwaj Rangan (New Indian Express) – Old is cold.

As expected, its Taran Adarsh on one side and rest of them in other. That’s the differnce between a trade analyst and a  film critic.