Archive for the ‘WTF’ Category

WTF : Sonu Nigam is Sant Nigam now!

Posted: February 11, 2010 by moifightclub in Bolly Jokes, bollywood, life, News, Thoughts, WTF
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Otherwise how do you explain the following quote by Sonuji, oops Santji.

I’m not me. This is not what I am. I don’t want people to call me mad but I died last year. I don’t exist because what I thought existed, never existed. I realised last year that I’m an eternal creature. We say that life is eternal, the soul is eternal, and God is eternal. Do you really understand the magnitude of this statement that I will never die and I will live for ever and there is no separate God. There is no superior God. I’m not an inferior creature. I’m just a limited vision because I’m trapped in this body.

And if thats not the reason, we want to know what is he smoking! Because there are some more priceless gems by Sant Nigam. Sample this.

There is something happening inside which is silence but you can hear it and it’s only when you sit within or around yourself, that you realise that there is nothing.

All these quotes are from an interview published in Mumbai Mirror recently. Click here to read the full interview. And make sure you are not drinking anything while reading the interview. Chances are you will ROFL and spill it all over.

WTF is this ? Why ? What is this Phir Mile Sur Mera Tumhara ?

Bad video. Bad choice of celebrities/icons. Bad lip/voice sync. And all badly put together. Looks like as if we are still stuck in 80’s Bollywood. Like Ramu’s Sholay remake which turned out to be (Bh)Aag, this one fails on every account. As a freind said, it needed Bharat Bala. Period. Or as Zoom Channel’s punchline goes, isko mat dekho

Here are the two part videos of the Phir Mile Sur Mera Tumhara

BTW, do check out the comments on the video pages. Seems we are not the only one who hated it. And here is the one that cant be replaced, do anything. The magic of good ol’ DD days!

 

And you know where! If not, ask the pirates. If you still cant find it, then also its fine. Dont worry, wait for its theatrical release. But the news is shocking for sure.

If the big boys could not save Wolverine, whats the big deal about Johnny. Recently it happened the same with Anurag Kashyap’s Paanch also which was rumoured to be leaked out by the director himself because Anurag was tired of waiting for its theatrical release. Ashutosh Gowariker’s Whats Your Raashee was also leaked out before its theatrical release. Its another matter that nobody wanted to watch it for free also.

Tera Kya Hoga Johnny is directed by Sudhir Mishra and stars Neil Nitin Mukesh, Kay Kay Menon, Soha Ali, Shahana Goswami, Karan Nath and Sikandar who plays the lead role of Johnny.

But it seems both the director and producer are clueless about it. Or is it Sudhir Mishra who was frustrated waiting for its release, got inspired by his good freind Kashyap and leaked it out himself ? Or it got leaked out through a festival screener ? The film was doing the festival round. Aha, conspiracy theories and more! Whatever it is, but now Johnny seriously needs to worry ki ab kya hoga

Because he or she needs to be fired now! Dont belive us, check out the video from 5:22.

We dont follow any of these maha-muqabla or maha-sangram but a good friend mailed us this one and we could not understand the maths. If you cant play the video, here is what the anchor says….

Final round se pahle Shaan ki team thi 81 points par aur Himesh’s Warriors thi 78 points par… THREE points ka difference. 

Shaan’s Strikers ka is round ke baad final score hai 122 points. Himesh ke honge isse kam ya jyada?

Is round me Himesh ko mile hain 43 points. Jiska matlab hai  unka final total hai 123.5 points aur aaj ke winner hain Himesh’s Warriors. WTF!  78+43 = 121 or 123.5 ??

This doesn’t need a Maha Maths but  the show declared Himesh as Winners! Can someone connect the missing link!

Surprise! surprise! Someone has suddenly found a new love. Till yesterday he had a favourite hobby and every night before going to bed, he used to spare time and space for it. Just go to his blog and you can read all those lovely words dedicated to the hobby called media-bashing. Even the film Paa wasnt spared, though there was no sense to it.

Now that his home production Paa has managed to get some good reviews and making money at the box office, he has mailed love letters to media persons working in various newspapers, magazines, channels and portals, thanking them for their support and appreciation. All signed by him. Guess what happened to that good old hobby!!??? Though we cant reveal the person’s name but a good soul mailed us a copy of the letter. Have a look.

If you cant read the text of the letter, it says….

My Dear XXX,

I am writing to express my deepest gratitude towards you and your prestigious XXX for giving our film “PAA” support and appreciation.

The magnanimous affection demonstrated by the media has been most overwhelming. Our company and we wish to express our gratitude for this kind gesture.

                                                                     With warm regards

                                                                     Amitabh Bachchan

                                                                    Abhishek Bachchan 

Not very very long ago, the same Amitabh Bachchan wrote these lines on his blog…

You mention in your article under reference that I should not forget that the media has had a distinct hand in my stardom. Ho ! Ho Ho ! … now we are all laughing !

Firstly, I have never ever accepted or believed in this media created epithet of stardom or any other ‘dom’. And secondly, for 18 years under the ban of the media, Amitabh Bachchan ‘the actor’ that you admire, had his most successful run at the box office.  So get off your high horse and smell the dung. Media will be incapable of making or breaking an actor. Only the masses have that strength and you are still very far away from that criteria.

You can read the full post here. This was in reply to Abhijit Mazumder’s column in Mid-day.

Dear Mr Bachchan,

What happened ? Is the letter a mistake ? Why this change in stand suddenly ? Or is this a fake love letter ? An actor of your calibre surely knows how to fake it, and fake it well.

MFC

BTW, Big B’s next release Rann directed by Ram Gopal Varma also promises to expose the media. The remote controlled country! And he is the same actor who created that Patna based stupid monster SKJ, whose claim to fame is false reports, a mention by Bachchan on his show Kaun Banega Crorepati and Sonu Nigam! Talk about corrupting the media. Ho Ho Ho…now we are all laughing!

Beat this! This is called guts! Even when his recent release Radio has proved to be a big dud at the box office and has been killed by every possible sane reviewer, Himesh Reshammiya is again threatening us with a new film. Bhaag Bhola, Run Lola, Himesh Bhai is back!

The film is Kajraare, directed by Pooja Bhatt! T-Series is producing the film and its written by Mahesh Bhatt. A man trying to run away from his past….A woman trying to escape her future! Sounds like they are going to meet on the sets of new tv show “Raaz Picchle Janam Ka“.

Out of 12 pages of today’s Bombay Times, three full pages have Himesh on it. The first page, second page and one more. The morning chai rarely taste so better! Mr Pinky-dinky-lips! Take a look and enjoy!

And here is the third page. The list of critics you should never trust! Our favourite is Juginder Chuteja, oops, Tuteja!

 

Anupama ChopraNow, Picture This! Is it technical goof-up or peer pressure ? Or some readers might dismiss it as our conspiracy theory! But whatever it is, its interesting for sure. Read on.

Every friday morning we religiously do one thing. Check out all the possible reviews of the recent releases. Generally Indiafm (Taran Adarsh), Rediff (Raja Sen/Sukanya Varma/Chandrima Pal) and NDTV (Anupama Chopra) come out with the early reviews. Anupama’s reviews are first published on the website www.ndtvmovies.com and are generally out by noon. She speaks out the same lines on her review show Picture This on NDTV 24 X 7 at 20:30.

This friday when we put out the early reviews of Sujoy Ghosh’s Aladin on this post , we read Anupama’s review and realised that she has rated Aladin – 3/5 stars. Here is the google cache of the same page. Have a look.

aladin_review1

After that, slowly one by one reviews started coming out. And most of the reviewers thrashed the film completely, rating it between 1 and 2 stars.

There are lot of reviewers who know that they are wrong guys at the wrong place and so before rating any film they make sure to call up few other fellow reviewers and check if they are judging the film right or wrong. Trust us, it does happen. Or they end up making fool of themselves who even give good ratings to Randeep Hooda’s Love Khichdi, search Buzz18 reviews! But no, Anupama Chopa doesnt belong to the club! She is infact one of the most sane and sorted out reviewers who knows her subject quite well. Though sometimes she looks misfit for TV.

And thats why its a big shock and surprise to see the rating of Aladin going down from three to two stars. Here is the link to the new review page with 2/5 stars. Putting here a snapshot of the same page. Its UNBELIEVABLE! Do they think we are blind and they can get away with anything ? Naah, those days are passe! 

So, will the holier-than-thou NDTV explain this to us ?

Aladin new review1

On her show Picture This  she rated the film 2/5. So, did she change her rating after reading other reviews ? Or was it someone else’s mistake who added one extra star to Aladin ? If anyone can enlighten us on this issue, we will be much relieved! Do let us know. We are eagerly waiting to know why and how!

We understand shit about fashion! But we can surely spot the shit too. We rarely follow any fashion week but this one got us ROFL! At the ongoing Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week in Delhi, Jaya Prada walked the ramp for designers Ashima & Leena. Check it out!

jaya prada

We are still confused about it. What the fuck is it ? Its her Junglee queen or  flower vase or fruit basket avatar ? Or is it Lajpat Nagar effect ? To quote India Today – the showstopper for designers Ashima and Leena had the audience in splits with her (Jaya Prada) disastrous diva act on the ramp. You can read the full report here.

And you have to see her walking ? Click on the play button.

In the second video, she describes her experience about walking the ramp. She thought she was the QUEEN! Ok, so its confirmed. Its The Jungle Queen avatar. Enjoy!

SwadesAshutosh Gowariker’s Swades is one of our favourite films. And among those counted few films in which we really liked Shah Rukh Khan.

What we knew was that the film is based on a tv series. What we didnt know was the long story behind this long film! A reader of our blog mailed us some interesting info about it. Its in first person account by Mr V. On Swades, Whats Your Raashee, Lage Raho Munnabhai & more! Have replaced few names with their intials. Read on.

Hi…Last afternoon I was at a brunch hosted by AL to celebrate his birthday….As the wine, mojito’s and beer started doing the rounds and the guests were getting a tad reckless…..Sanjay Chhel who was seated at my table along with GB suddenly stated…Swades was V’s script…..we all knew it… It had come on Zee TV’s Yule Love stories as a 1.5 hour, two 45 minutes episode story in 1996!!!!!!!!! Ashutosh played SRK’s role in it as an actor….i was taken aback at this sudden announcement! It was a de ja vu.

Cut Back to:-

Swades Premiere. December 2004 at Fame Malad…. During the interval inside the smoking room of the multiplex… as I was puffing away along side Abbas Mastan and a few others… Anurag Kashyap walked in saying…. V- Bhai this is your script Waapasi on Zee Tv… I will never forget it…..Abbas-Mastan turn to look at me wondering who the hell i am… and also who the hell is Anurag!!!!!!!!!

That night post the premiere….Satya the producer of the Yule love story who gets the credit for story of Swadesh, Anand Subramanium, an alumini of FTII who directed Wapasi and myself were stopped by Ashutosh wanting to know our reactions as we were the original creators of the film according to him……..All we said was he fucked up a simple love story of an NRI who comes to pick up his Kaveri amma…discovers his roots in a village, feels guilty seeing poverty and exploitation of poor and also finds his soulmate and decides to stay back.

By trying to be in Appy’s words ‘A shantaram’ he went haywire with that electricity making incident which is incidentally a chapter in a Book titled Bapu Kutir… Bapu Kutir is a compilation of events & expereiences of some 10 people who gave up lucrative careers in the corporate world to follow Gandhian principles!!!!!!!!!!

The event in the film comes as tangent from no where… The Yule Love Story episode begins with the hero landingin Delhi looking for Kaveri amma and meeting the herione in the travel agency who gives him the wrong address and he takes a caravan bus to trace her and the story ends when his caravan leaves the village and the herione thinks he has left for good and turns to walk back and to her surprise he comes back in his caravan and honks behind her!!!!!!!!!

The character of Dayashankar Pandey of a village buffon wanting to go to USA in Swades is a character created by Naushil Mehta and myself in a play called Suitable Bride way back in 1996. Incidentally Suitable Bride is the inspiration for What’s Your Raashee…Its infact a straight lift of my play…. NM and I directed the play and also adpated it for stage from the novel Kimball Ravenswood. Seema Kapoor played 12 roles and Babbloo Mukherjee played Yogesh Patel…Darshan Jariwala plays the same character he played in the play!

Incidentally the play was a musical and had 12 songs… we had to drop the songs after the first 5 shows as the running time of the play was 3.5 hours and we realised audience were getting impatient. What’s Your Raashee is also 3.5 hours with 13 songs!!!!!!!!!!

There are 8 people who get the credit for screenplay in Swades and one of the guys told me that my dialogue script of Waapasi was photocopied and circulated amongst the 8 of them to change it from TV to a film script… Scene to scene, dialogue to dialogue ( i used to write dialogues in those days) were kept as in the original!

And exactly like Swades I am told I am getting a credit in What’s Your Raashee too in the begining acknoweldgements………You may ask why am i talking about it NOW!!!!! ST the producer of the show on Zee wanted to file a case against Ashutosh and UTV for cheating me of my credits and compensation… I didn’t want to file a case as i felt it was pointless exercise.

Ashutosh on his part had asked my permission to do the film saying he is using only the story and changing the screenplay….Well he did change the screenplay….By adding 40 minutes of NASA begining and end of film and a good 30-40 minute of the Bapu Kutir.

The reason I am talking about this today is I feel after what Amole Gupte went through…and more over… SC…whose idea Gandhi and Godfather… narrated to Mr. Dutt during the making of Khoobsoorat becomes Lage raho Munnabhai!

I feel there is no harm in giving the due people their credit or atleast let people know the real people behind these works…My name comes in the acknowledgements of Swades and Whats Your Raashee but I feel Swades is more Anand Subramanium than Ashu Gowarikar…..And Lage Raho Munnabhai is Chel rather than Hirani and Abhijat Joshi… and as for Taare Zameen Par… people in the know… know who directed the film 🙂

Wooohoo! Some revealations and it all seems so believable except the Lage Raho Munnabhai part! Whats your guess ?

BTW, according to IMDB, the writing credit of Swdes has nine names as follows.

Story – M.G. Sathya and Ashutosh Gowariker

Screeplay – Ashutosh Gowariker, Sameer Sharma, Lalit Marathe, Amin Hajee,  Charlotte Whitby-Coles, Yashodeep Nigudkar & Ayan Mukherjee 

Dialogue – K.P. Saxena

Sometimes its difficult to make sense of the world. Of incidents or people around you. And if they belong to the world of cinema, its more insane. Is that him? Is that for a role? If for a reel, why in real life too?

The recent pics of filmmaker Rituparno Ghosh have been quite baffling. He says its all for a role. Click  here to read more about the film Just Another Love Story and his role in the film. Scroll down to see the latest pic on the top left corner. The other pics show him in transition, more or less.

And if you can make sense of anything, put your comments. And if you cant, how does it matter? It’s only the cinema that matters, rite? But then how do you separate the cinema from its maker? Have not been able to do so.

He is one filmmaker whose work I have been following since his debut. Think  he is undoubtedly one of the best filmmaker of our times.  Always has an interesting story or unique take to share. Sometimes repetitive though, but a master at exploring the intimate space between two people. Aha..thats for another day! Check out the pics!