Archive for May, 2010

The name is La-zmi. KhatNi La-zmi! She is known for starting her ”stars” count from three. Give her any movie to review and it will be three. We follow a simple thumb rule when it comes to her star ratings. La-zami’s 2 stars = zero. So, 3 = 0+1 = 1, 4 = 2 and 5 = 3. Try it out for any movie and it works every time.

Plus, she also has the distinction of being the only film critic in India who even plagiarised a film review!  Ooh la la! What a Tale it was, Shark Tale. And that too from Roger Ebert’s review. Aur bolo ? And if you were in your nappies those days, you can click here and here to read more about the scandal. If you are reading the first link, do check out the comment section (4th comment) for complete proof of her xerox machinery!

And after all this, she still has her job with India’s one of the biggest media group (ok, giant). Plus,  there is more! Remember how her Kurbaan review suddenly made it to the front page of Bombay Times on that bloody friday!

We are exactly not sure who get to make how much for every “star” that matters and for moving the review from Page 8 to 1st Page! But someone surely is busy counting.  And it cant be only her!  But here comes the best part – it didn’t help the makers and distributors of the film any bit. The film bombed and how!

Ask any Delhiwallah and they will happily tell you how exclusive screenings are held for her. Ok, she may be plus size (or XXXL or whatever) but she surely doesnt need the entire theatre to herself. Why aren’t other critics invited for the same ? Brownie “stars” & more! It happened during Paa too. And when some of the Delhi based critics raised their voice, Amitabh Bachchan apologised about the same. Now after all that history, here is the latest dope!

We are sure, cent percent sure! The makers of Raajneeti have already shown the film to her. Only her. Almost a week before the release. And she has confirmed her rating to them! Four fucking stars! Not sure who fucked whom, where, how and in what position but its gonna happen. We are willing to bet! Unless our blogpost manages to make enough noise for her/publication to change it from 4 to 3.5 stars! But if the group is involved and cheques have been passed, then aandhi aaye ya toofan, its gonna be four, fucking four!

And its not only her and the publication, the makers of the film are no lesser culprit. BTW, do we see a pattern here ? Its from the same production house! Have they cracked a “stars” subscription deal ? Looks like. As the dude sang, The Times They Are A-Changin’…..just that we didn’t realise that it will go to the other extreme!

UPDATE – We returned home and switched on the tv, it was Bambai se gayee Poona, Poona se gayee Patna n blah blah blah on SetMax. That was Juhi Chawla. But guess who else is singing…delhi se gayee bambai, rating meri bhi bik gayee! Same old Khat-Ni Lajmi. We got lil wrong on the location info. It seems she was shown the film in Mumbai and NOT in Delhi. And the makers flew her from Delhi To Mumbai to screen the film for her. Now, we are gonna bet its 4.fucking5 stars!

What ? When ? Where ? How much ? And why ?

Its an age-old debate. And things are changing now. In west, the new rule is “Forget the critics, Fear Twitter”! Plus, there are many popular bloggers now whom viewers trust more than many critics because they know that there cant be any hidden agenda there. And may be thats why many publications are in the process of doing away with critics.

Ok, enough of our review gyaan. Since we are putting it as VOTD, do check it out. Taran Adarsh, popularly known as Trash Adarsh for his movie and film reviews, discusses the issue with Minty Tejpal (Mumbai Mirror), Meena Iyer (Mumbai Mirror/TOI) and Rajeev Masand (CNN IBN).

Some candid confessions, some strong opinions, west versus east, do producers/directors try to influence them and why do they write/say, the way they do. And they even discuss Nikhat Kazmi!

(PS – Mumbai Mirror belongs to TOI group)

Is this a joke ? If so, a really cheap one! To sell the film and grab some eyeballs. Or are we only reading too much between the lines, ok, between the nasal twangs! If you dont believe us, just play the video and listen to the song.

The film has been long in the making and long time dabba-band too!It stars Shahid Kapoor & Kareena Kapoor and is directed by Satish Kaushik.

The film was shot when the Kapoors were together. Now that one Kapoor has moved on to Saif Ali Khan, producer Boney Kapoor must be scratching his bald head to figure out a promotional campaign for this one. And finally the culprits, lyricist “Sameer” and singer/composer “Himesh Reshammiya” must have come to his rescue. We are ROFLOL! Kuch nahi baki hai saab aur na hi koi milenge…wanna bet!

Aha, this seems like the perfect pitch for its theatrical release in India. We love it, except the title font and its colour, which looks little bland in the middle of all that chaos. For us, its “days of being wild & pains of growing up” and the poster seems to have captured that.

The lead actor is Rajat Barmecha, who looks a lot like Imran Khan and acts million times better than him. For our review of Udaan click here, for Vikramaditya Motwane & Anurag Kashyap’s video interviews here, for earlier poster/pics/synopsis of the film here and for all the Cannes jazz here.

After Chandni Chowk to China, Nikhil Advani has again paired up with Akshay Kumar for his new film Patiala House. And yes, cricket is at its core. The film is being shot in London and a reader of our blog alerted us about these two videos which are out now.The second video tells more about the film than the first one which has Akshay’s interview. Click on the play button if you are still interested in either Akshay Kumar or Nikhil Advani film.

No, we dont shy away from naming names. But the man whom we trust told us to look at the scene with little acid and more sanity! We argued for the sake of cheap thrills and tried to find a middle path. Plus we HATED the director’s last film, which the world seems to love! So, here we  are, back with our old game – Aao Guess Karein!

His (Z) last film was a big hit. And then, the man never remained same again. In one of the scriptwriting workshops he proudly declared that his film is the best structured hindi film in the last ten years! Our jaws dropped and since then we have not been able to pick it up.

Whats more, in his over-confidence he even gave an interview and pulled down one of the best films of last year, written by one of the best screenwriters we have in the current lot. Our jaws were buried!

Then came the announcement for his next film. He was offered never heard before amount for only scripting it. Plus there was direction fees too. And then the non-stop brag sessions started. For his next film, he would keep on bragging about the “number of drafts” he is writing. First, we heard about 17th draft, last we heard 25th and then there were few more. And its complete home production.

Its no surprise that he got a BIG budget for his new film. Even the amount spent on recce had our eyes wide open. The film was shot outside India and got completed last year. But still no release date has been announced. Wondering why ?

Well, here is the dope. It seems that his tyres have been busted this time. Problem – Main actor is dude but the actress is no match for him. The lead actor is more of dude and less of actor anyway! And the lead actress is IRREPLACEABLE! Because his tyres run her car too. And her mom’s car too.

So, after spending quite a bomb on the film, the producers got a big shock when they saw the film.  It wasn’t what they were expecting! The director has been told to re-shoot major romantic portions of the film to get that “jai ho” factor between the lead pair, much like his earlier film, as this one also is romcom! The director and everyone else have spread the news out that they are back to (pakhi pakhi) pardesh to shoot just a song. But thats not true! He is trying hard to get the punctured tyres re-paired now.

Bhagwan bhala kare – tu hame jaane ya na jaane, hum tere chahnewale they kabhi…before you made that silly stupid film! The desi high school musical….aha, that cribfest deserves a new post. Now guess Mr Z and the film! Its damn easy and is all here.

Trust the bolly starlets to go any distance to get any amount of possible mileage. And trust us to follow all their desperate attempts. Plus the word “nude” is always top on google list. So, here it is all. The nude pics of Sherlyn Chopra, which were posted by herself from her Twitter account. And surprisingly she removed all the pics later on.

Now the buzz is that she might pose for Playboy magazine soon. Aha, makes us all nostalgic about Katy Mirza! Though we are not completely sure if the pics have been photoshoped  or not. And if you are still looking for Sherlyn Chopra, you can follow her Twitter account here.