Archive for the ‘WTF’ Category

Fame Big CinemasIts all about the BIG idea! I understand. And business is all about BIG money. I do understand. But when you cheat me to run your business, I really dont understand. Blame it on BIG!

Sunday. 11 pm show. Quickgun Murugun. Fame Big Cinemas , Andheri (west). Earlier it was Fame Adlabs before Big Cinemas ( ADAG – Anil Dhirubhai Ambani Group) took over Adlabs.

At around 9 pm, I logged in to their website to check ticket availability for the 11 pm show. Tickets priced at Rs 180 and Rs 220. For 180, only first two rows were available. Rest all sold out. For 220, lot of seats were available. I thought will easily manage two seats (me and my friend) for the Rs 220 category.

Reached the theatre by 10:50 pm. Not much crowd. Asked the guy at the counter for two tickets of Quickgun Murugun. To confirm it, I asked him the status of the Rs 180 category seats. He said the same – Only first two rows. Showed me the screen too. I asked for two silver category tickets (Rs 220). On the screen, he showed me its the last row, centre seats.

We entered the theatre and were waiting outside Screen – 4. Not much crowd. Wondered how is it almost housefull. I dont see much people around. Entered the theatre, moved to our seats. From the last row, its easy to get the full view of the theatre. Except few people in the first two rows, I didnt see anyone in the gold category seats ( Rs 180). And for the Rs 220 category seats (silver), people were still coming in.

For a moment I thought may be its some group or corporate booking. And so i waited. But these are BIG liars! Someone must be making money thinking about these out of box BIG ideas to make more money. So, what their website showed me was wrong, what the guy at the ticket counter told me was a lie and its a case of cheating. And its all planned. Its must be what they call STRATEGY! I and am sure, many like me, have been forced to buy the Rs 220 category tickets.

No business like weekend business! 40 rupees ? Yes, its not a big amount but I do value it and I HATE to be treated like this. Because its NOT right. And why would you dare to cheat me when am going to see the truth in just a few minutes! Some guts!

Am sure this cant be just for one show and one screening. If its working, they must be doing the same for other screens. Since it was late night show, by the time the movie got over, the box office counter was closed. Otherwise I would have informed the guy at the ticket counter. Atleast he should know that I know about it. Am sure he will pass the info to his boss. And next time am going to do it. And make much more noise about it. Document it all, record it and take pictures. 

Since I dont have enough money to put half page ads on the front page of the newspapers (what a gas!) and ask people to voice their concern about what is right and what is wrong,  have put my thoughts here. Do spread the word, check the facts and make sure you dont get cheated. De-FAME!

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What Pratim has suggested in the comment, that might also be true. Only the first two rows’ tickets were priced at Rs 180. The ticket prices are different for almost all the shows and more so during weekends. Also it depends on movies too. Like recently, when Kaminey opened in Mumbai on monday, the multiplexes smartly charged the tickets at weekend prices. Because they knew that people are going to watch it anyway. Not sure if there are any guidelines about it. Though I remember that the website was showing it as housefull for the Rs 180 category tickets.  Have also seen other films in other rows for the same price. But then it doesnt gurantee anything. So, if thats the case then this post is invalid. If they can charge whatever they want, why would it they fake it ? This reason also makes sense. In this case, am wrong and my apologies. But if not, then it stays. Am going to be more careful next time and will check it properly.

 

WTF is this! Trust Bollywood to do it! And when its directed by Samar Khan, what else can you expect.

Its called “Make It Large – A Tribute to Michael Jackson”. If you are wondering whats the funda of “Make it Large”, then click here. If Shah Rukh Khan is here, can commerce be far behind. The video is produced by Shah Rukh Khan’s Red Chillies Idiot Box. Even in this s0-called-tribute to MJ, its Royal Stag Seagram selling thier brand philosophy! The Red Chillies homepage even has a quote from Royal Stag’s VP (Marketing) explaining their brand connect with MJ! Trust the marketing guys to sell a dead man too!

The song is written by Vishal ( Of Vishal-Shekhar duo), composed by Vishal- Shekhar and features Shankar Mahadevan, Shaan, KK, Shreya Ghoshal and Prabhudeva. The video also features Shahrukh Khan, Hrithik Roshan, Priyanka Chopra, Katrina Kaif, Anoushka Sharma, Shahid Kapur, and Yuvraj Singh.

We think this is the worst tribute to Michael Jackson! The lyrics redifne the word corny, music is horrendous and the voices are all over the place. No two voices in sync! We really could have done without it. Do let us know what you guys think.

Sorry for this overdose of Kaminey but few things we really canttoilet graffitti escape. Because these newbits make our day by making us ROFL. 

Today’s TOI has a damn interesting piece of news on Vishal Bhardwaj’s Kaminey. Its about “Apna Haath Jagannath“, the writing on the loo door in one of the scenes in Kaminey. The Puri priests think its a derogatory reference to their Lord Jagannath.

We are not sure whats the origin of this phrase but its very common loo graffiti across North India. Schools, colleges, public toilets or trains, you can spot it anywhere. Loo graphiti is a specialised art by itself and in India, it seems we have artists everywhere. 

Back to AHJ! The news is that a case has been filed against Kaminey’s producer for the use of the line “apna haath jagannath“. We wonder if the priests know the real meaning of the line and in what context it is used. Because according to this report, it seems the protest is only because there is a picture of a scantily clad woman next to the writing. Wish someone could tell them the ‘real’ meaning of the phrase…the fun be double!

Elesh ParujanwalaAnd we are ROFLOL!  So when was the last time someone’s marriage became BREAKING NEWS ? Just Imagine. And even for the holier-than-thou attitudewala NDTV India! Why blame only India TV ?

We admit we are natural born voyeurs. Could not keep ourselves away from Rakhi Ka Swayamvar finale. And what a show it was! Hand over the entertaining show of the year to Rakhi Ka Swayamvar. We have never been hooked to someone’s marriage so seriously. Intially, it looked like there are only counted few jokers in the world. But today I discovered that family of jokers do exist. The genes are not from some random planet.

So, the mommy, daddy, brother, sister and all the possible relatives turned up at the show to do naach-gaana  for their few seconds of fame and celebrate Rakhi Ka Swayamvar! But the one who caught our attention is Ram Kapoor. In a Lajpat Nagar sherwani which can bounce of light even in a black hole, he looked as if he could easily replace the elephant who is supposed to take out the couple for a post-engagement ride. 

Back to the lucky/unlucky boy of Canada. Elesh Parujanwala is a 30 year old Gujrati businessman based in Toronto. Runs family business and wants to get into entertainment industry in Mumbai. Seems like a perfect match. Rakhi will have deep pocketwala NRI and Elesh will find a getaway for his bollywood aspirations! And NDTV Imagine gets the TRP’s.

Whats next ? The couple plans to spend more time together to figure out if they really gel well or not. And the sati-savitri that Rakhi is, she has made it clear that there will be no physics or biology involved. Only chemistry!

Our suggestion – For second season, NDTV Imagine should go for Rakhi Ka Honeymoon. Canada Tourism will happily sponsor it. And we bet, they dont have to worry about the TRP’s. Or it will be new edition of Lost In Translation with Rakhi’s english and Elesh’s hindi! And who said marriages are made in heaven ? Rakhi has proved everyone wrong. Its made on and for TV! Imagine.

Himesh ReshammiyaAnd is it really possible ? Ripley’s Believe it or not! According to this report in Mumbai Mirror, Himesh Reshammiya went through a vocal surgery to get a new voice. WTF!?!? Well, to quote from the report…

Himesh has quietly put himself through surgery a couple of months ago and added one more voice, apart from his nasal voice. He has now become the only singer to have two completely different voices and the new voice will be heard in his forthcoming films. He has already recorded songs in his new voice.

BTW, the report doesnt have any reporter credit. We wonder why ? And reacting to the report, music director Vishal Dadlani  twittered..

Today, i read about someone having vocal-chord surgery to get an extra voice! What dumb faacks write this, and what suckers believe it?

And some more…

Questions re: surgery to get extra voices should be directed to the ‘tards at the m’bai mirror who wrote this crap! Who is this genius doc!?

And now Indiafm has put out a new song from Himesh Reshammiya’s new film Radio and its in his new voice! Woohoo…check it out. Mann ka radio! Surprisingly, Himesh is all quite so far.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

sanjay_leela_bhali2Woohooo! We are not sure who all have gone mad but we surely are going insane since we heard the news. And since its directly from horse’s mouth, we have no choice but to believe it.

Rs 35 crore!!!! And that too, post-Saawariya! Welcome to Bhansali Blues! Some men have all the luck to do all the Leela! And some like UTV make it possible too.

UTV is producing the film Guzaarish. The budget of the film will be Rs 60-65 crore and the major chunk will go to director’s pocket. It seems Bhansali also managed to convince Hrithik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai to take a pay cut and so extra goodies will go to  SLB’s account.

Btw, a huge set of the film has been erected in Mumbai’s Mehboob Studio. If gossipmongers are to be believed, the story is set in Goa.

Also, because of Guzaarish, Vibhu Puri’s Chenab Gandhi, to be produced by Sanjay Leela Bhansali has been postponed to next year. Vibhu assisted Bhansali on Saawariya. Chenab Gandhi will star Amitabh Bachchan, Vidya Balan and Rajeev Khandelwal.

We at FC, have an interesting history with Guzaarish. Click here and here to know more. Story, plot details, denials, headlines and some more.

Manas KatyalNo. You must! Manas Katyal ? One of the finalists of Rakhi Ka Sawayvar on NDTV Imgaine. The show that will baffle many generations of sociologists for sure. And Rakhi Sawant surely deserves the Lifetime Achievement Acting Award for this show. Because nobody can fake it better than her. And she also can’t do better than this. You have to watch the videos. With background music from bollwood. It doesn’t get funnier than this. Swayamvar moves to Delhi now. We are hooked and how!

And don’t miss the quote of the year – Item girl bahu hai, bahu item girl nahi hai!

Michael Jackson

Strange are the ways of this world. And stranger are the ways of the Censor Board in India.

According to this DNA report, there are nine censor cuts in Akshay Kumar-Kareena Kapoor starrer Kambakht Ishq.  And one cut is because of the crotch. In one of the songs, there is a shot of a dancer who looks at his own crotch. Censor Board doesn’t like it, even though one can’t see what he sees. One has to guess it seems. Now who doesn’t know what lies beneath! But according to the Censor Board its not for public viewing and so snip! View your crotch only in private.

WTF! Jacko can grab his crotch in full public view and dance all around the world. And here in India, an extra can’t even look down. Forget about grabbing it. Govinda, Prabhu deva & Chiranjeevi could only place their hands at the right place (or was it little above ? at the waistline ? ) and move it. Nobody dared to grab it like Jacko did and made it world famous too!

Monica BediWe are not joking. Those of you who follow us regularly, know it. But why would Universal Music go for Monica Bedi and make her sing punjabi prayers and do chanting? Of all the people, Monica Bedi ? What an idea sirjee!! Its a punjabi prayer album called Ek Onkaar.

We can understand Monica Bedi’s reasons for doing it. Desperate  times call for desperate measures. And an overweight purse is always good. It seems she went to a local gurudwara to train herself.

Monica Bedi oldBut from one extreme to other! We understand or atleast pretend to understand that she is also a human being and may be trying her best to forget her past. But we are not Ghajini’s Aamir Khan! Our memory is too sharp. We take time to forget things and more so if its all about skimpy clothes. We are just bastards (okay, we prefer Inglorious Bastards). Do let us know which Monica you prefer, old or the new ?

Rakhi SawantScroll down and take a look at the 16 pics. Does any of them look retard, psycho, mentally deranged, desperately horny, completely blind, fool, poor or without brains ? If not, why do they want to marry Rakhi Sawant ? What can be the real reason ? Is someone pointing a gun at their head or are they going to get fat cheques ? Or may be they are all ET, from some other planet and so have no clue about Rakhi Sawant. Or is this some kind of game ? We are quite baffled!

Scroll down the pics, more details posted. The 16 finalists for Rakhi Sawant’s Swayamvar. What next ? Rakhi Sawant ka honeymoon and then divorce ? Or the next seasons will depend on this season’s TRPs. Bring it on! We are not crazy enough yet!

Put the cursor on the pics for the names. For their age, location & profession, scroll down.

More details about Rakhi Sawant’s 16 prospective grooms. In clockwise order, from top. Age, location & profession.

1. Ali Bana – 30. Mumbai. Choreographer.

2. Aman Talwar – 21 . Haryana.  Father’s poultry business (21years ?? dude, control )

3. Ather Parwez – 33. Srinagar. J&K Police Crime Branch.

4. Ashwin Chaudhuri – 28. Nagpur. Runs marriage bureau.

5. Atirek Sharma – 24. From Kanpur, In Mumbai. Wants to get into cting.

6. Chitiz Jain – 26. Delhi. Garment export business.

7. Deepak Raghav – 25. Raipur. Fitness Trainer.

8. Elesh Parujanwala – 30. Gujarti NRI from Toronto. Family business. Wants to get into media.

9. Kapil Mathur – 28. Jaipur. In retail management.

10. Kripal Singh – 27. Mumbai. Stuntman.

11. Luv Khanna – 26. Delhi. Wants to get into glamour industry.

12. Manas Katyal – 22. Delhi. Media Professional.

13. Manmohan Tiwari – 25. Rishikesh. Lawyer. (wants to get into acting)

14. Pranav Damle – 26. Mumbai. Mechanical Engineer.

15. Raman Handa – 26. Saharanpur ( UP). Astrologer & Vastu consultant.

16. Rishi Dwivedi – 22. Kanpur. BSc Graduate ( Loves dancing & is a trained one)

Are these 16 best jokes or best jokers of the world ? Not bad at all. But we can’t figure it out. Interestingly more than half of them wants to get into media, acting or similar field. So is Rakhi Sawant their Ticket to Bollywood ? Hmmm…conspiracy theory again! 

The show Rakhi Ka Swayamvar goes on air on NDTV Imagine from Monday, June 29th 2009.