F.i.g.h.t C.l.u.b

…he rambles on and on and on. Signs of being senile ?

Those of you who follow Buddha B, oops, Big B’s blog, you know what we are talking and those who don’t, read on. Mid-day, the Mumbai based tabloid is known for giving finger-fucks to celebrities and they make sure that they give their best. And their latest love is Amitabh Bachchan.

Recently Mid-day’s Tushar Joshi did a story on Amitabh Bachchan, how he doesnt practice what he preaches. He supports going green but drive in SUVs, the gas guzzlers. You can read the full story here. Phir kya tha ?

The finger-fuck did the trick, Bachchan went on a rampage on his blog and came up with the lamest reply through a blogpost. He attacked the reporter (Tushar Joshi), Entertainment Editor of the tabloid (Sarita Tanwar) and rambled non-stop without making any sense. And even took digs at Karan Johar. Here are some gems from his post…

I am aware that my acumen in keeping the press happy and co operative is abysmal. I am not generous enough in entertaining them to either media jaunts to out of town activities, especially those in foreign lands, and neither do I have the required savvy to invite them to social gatherings and parties like a Karan Johar does for his birthday to Sarita Tanwar and others of her ilk.

And his biggest lie…

If media needs to be nurtured for personal gain I would imagine it would destroy their very tenets of unbiased reporting, would it not. In keeping with that sentiment, if I have desisted, is there some error being committed on my part ?

(Can someone ask him about the pest called Subhash K Jha ? The whole world knows that Jhaji is Bachchanophile. Jhaji is the point person for Bachchan family to plant their news pieces and so he gets every exclusive news about Amitabh, Abhishek and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. In return, he just has to keep on sucking upto the Bachchan family. ) 

BUT… dearest Sarita Tanwar of Karan Johar party invite… I have a suggestion to make. When the removal of my one such SUV will save the world from hundreds of years of existence, would it not be worth its while to extend the life of our planet even further. I mean think of your grand children to the power of infinity pushing yellow pencils for Mid Day in cyberland !! Thats an exciting proposition is it not ? Or would you rather let good ol’ smsed Tushar do the noble deed ?

And.. I say… tell this chap Tushar to stop using his mobile. Have you any idea what the radio activity each call and sms sent, creates for the environment ?It all adds up deary !! Lets start at home first, no ? So this is fixed then.. no mobile phones ok ? When you need to communicate, just walk across to AB’s house and ask him the question. What is a couple of kilometers ? Nothing ! Will help burn the calories, keep you fit.

This Maharashtra Police, I tell you, they are second to only the Scotland Yard of Britain. Right now they are smarting because of 26/11. You need to treat them with care. All of them use the Bolero SUV and the Qualis SUV. You mess with them baby, they run you over with them SUV over your chest. Think of your walking journalistic future Tushaaar !! They do not make guys like you any more !!

And some more…

No plane , no Union. Simple no ? Stop King Fisher, go meet Vijay Mallya at his pad in Goa. In Goa eh.. remember Goa ! I tell you why. The beach in front of his gorgeous palace is being eaten up with the sea coming in… because of what, Tushar, Sarita… whoever is listenning… global warming !! Go stop Jet Airways ! They are retrenching heavily. They will love you for this.

Sarita and Tushar… get rid of your mobile, your electricity, your air travel, your cars, your news paper, push yourself back to prehistoric times and show me the way to progress so that we are not referred to as a developing nation a nation that is referred to insultingly as the third world. We want to compete with the world, to bring our standards up.

Finally….

STOP PRINTING MID DAY  MATES IN YOUR PAGES….!!!

Sarita, I know that you have published today a rejoinder to your yesterday’s headline, where you have tried to nullify the damage done by your previous article. But remember always if you have the right to be the keepers of society so do I. If you have the right of cynicism, so do I. If you exercise the right to pull my leg I shall pull yours as well. And every time you shall abuse me wrongly I shall rightfully correct your abuse.

Mr Bachchan, what are you eating, drinking or smoking these days ? Mid-day will be Mid-day. Why get dirty with them ?

And if you still have some patience to read the full post, click here. Don’t say that we didn’t warn you. Never before a celeb blog been so boring and nonsensical.