Archive for the ‘bollywood’ Category

UPDATE – The tvc is out too.

Wow..what a deadly combo! Get ready to see the plastic and the pristine. The actor and the mannequin! And that rhymes too! Aha Kate, Wah Kate!

The third one in the pic along with Kate Winslet and Aishwarya Rai is Taiwanese model Chi-ling Lin. The commercial is being shot in Rome and its for Longines Watches DolceVita collection. The buzz in the blogosphere is that its based on the film La Dolce Vita. Hum dekhenge!

And the names are – Naseeruddin Shah, Irrfan Khan, John Abraham, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Russian actor Alexander Dyachenko, Annu Kapoor and Vivaan Shah (Naseeruddin Shah’s son). We were sure about the other five, but had no clue about Annu Kapoor and the name of the Russian Actor. Hindustan Times finally got the list. Aha, relieved!

And our Twitter Khabri Svetlana Naudiyal passed on some exclusive dope too, though we are not sure about it. It seems Ruskin Bond is also doing a cameo in the film. Wooho! The name is Bond, Ruskin Bond! And here is her tweet..

as told so by his (Ruskin Bond) bookshop owner friend in mussorie.. a shop that Ruskin Bond visits every saturday.. he said that Ruskin Bond didn’t come for last two saturdays since he is busy with Saat Khoon Maaf and that he’s doing a small role too in it.. probably of a father or something.. though i don’t remember any such character in the story..

There is more to her (Svetlana’s) story. She even met Mr Bond after her khabri dope but admits that she was too starstruck to ask him anything. Aha, Svetlana…..Kuch Kuch Hota Hai…hum samajhte hai!

Back to Saat Khoon Maaf – its based on a short story by Ruskin Bond titled Susanna’s Seven Husbands. To know more about the story/plot/synopsis, click here to read our previous post on the film.

BTW, Jahan Bakshi has got a damn cool idea to trend Saat Khaan Maaf on Twitter. How about #7KM ? Is anyone listening ?

And this one comes from far east. Or you can say far North, North of Bengal. Jahan Bakshi, a member of U-25 gang, is currently stuck in the tea gardens of Dooars. Bored with the smell of tea and too much green all around, he traveled to Siliguri (some 95kms) to watch Udaan. And thinks it was worth every penny. Since he was non-stop tweeting about the film after he saw it (No, he wasn’t paid to do so), we asked him if he can go beyond 140 characters and write a post for us. So, here it is…read on…

(And a clarification…No, he was never thrown out of Mayo College, Ajmer or Calcutta’s St Xaviers  College from where he graduated in Mass Communication. Current Status – Still flying high!)

Okay. Have been tweeting since the screening like a man possessed. Not, however out of bored frustration like @moifightclub during #Lamhaa screening. But because I take Anton Ego’s monologue in Ratatouille rather seriously. You see, unlike Mr. Amitabh Bachchan, I don’t think a critic is someone ‘who knows the way but can’t drive the car’, but someone who encourages the new, because the new needs friends. The new needs US – you & me. And hence before I talk about the film, I urge you to please (get over/ delay watching Inception and) go and watch this film. You’ll do yourself and good cinema a favour.

I genuinely haven’t felt the way I felt after watching Udaan this afternoon seeing any Hindi film. Forget about the emotional richness of the film- I’ll probably see the film again to absorb it fully. I was stunned by the maturity and delicateness with which Motwane crafts this film. As treatment goes, this is as un-Bollywood as it gets. As opposed to the Bollywood hammer and tongs approach, here is a film that feels like it’s been created with forceps. Nothing goes overboard or out of hand, thanks to the amazingly controlled direction. Each character and emotion has nuance and heart, thanks to some of the most sharp, sensitive writing I’ve seen in some time. Each frame breathes with life, and Jamshedpur becomes a character in the film, thanks to the wonderful cinematography. And each frame is allowed to speak, thanks to the absolutely exquisite pacing. This is a film with a texture (yes, Kartik Krishnan you can laugh) that truly echoes international cinema.

Rohan Singh (Rajat Barmecha, whose eyes speak volumes, and who I described earlier in the day as ‘twice as cute as Imran Khan and a 1000 times more talented’ and his ‘despotic’ Bhairon Singh (Ronit Roy, mind-blowingly brilliant, who knew he had this in him?) are both men with scarred souls. No one really understands them, and they certainly don’t understand each other. Rohan, however distills his pain into his writing and poetry (watch out for the hauntingly beautiful poems recited through the film), while his father chooses to drown it in, well, distilled spirits. He may be a well built monster on the outside, but inside, he is a lonely, pathetic figure, swallowed by his hopelessness and personal demons- a fact that comes through brilliantly in the end.

Troubled growing years are something that inevitably change you. Even if you come out of it as a healthy, ‘functional’ human being, you bear scars that people mostly can’t see or imagine. And even when those wounds occasionally surface to fester, you can’t expect other people to understand. But the amazing thing is- you feel you’re cursed, but what you may not realize is that it is the reason you can feel things and sense emotions no one else can feel. And in that sense, you’ve been blessed with something beautiful- the ability to appreciate beauty all the more. In my many moments of self-pity, I’ve often wished I wasn’t the mind-fucked creature I am, only to realize how all my bad experiences have only enriched me as a human being, and frankly I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Udaan is also such a magnificent story about fathers and sons. I wondered what Rohan actually felt more- the real absence of his mother, or the virtual absence of his father. I empathized with his feeling of being trapped, of having to bear the consequences of things that you have no hand in, and which you can do absolutely nothing about. I felt his humiliation, his helplessness, his anger. And I was touched by the power of his undying hope and spirit to overcome in the midst of this unending cycle of despair.

Udaan is truly a little film that says so much, that moves you on so many levels, that inspires you like nothing I’ve seen in a long time- and not in the ‘light a candle today, and piss on it tomorrow’ way. I said it before and will say it again: Red Bull doesn’t give you wings, but Udaan will.

P.S: I also must say that the film is pure poetry, not just in metaphor, but literally. The haunting pieces of poetry recited by Rohan through the film are so good, they’re worth the price of admission by themselves.

P.P.S: For those who can spare a good 15 odd minutes, do read this lecture by Orhan Pamuk, where he talks all about his father and being a writer.

‘For me, to be a writer is to acknowledge the secret wounds that we carry inside us, the wounds so secret that we ourselves are barely aware of them, and to patiently explore them, know them, illuminate them, to own these pains and wounds, and to make them a conscious part of our spirits and our writing. ‘

Makes for great reading.

Pic Courtesy – From making of Udaan

Mommy asked – what is Twitter ? Moi – Its a lazy man’s tool, must be invented by the laziest person on this earth. Mommy – How so ? Moi – You say everything in just 140 characters. Mommy – Wow! Me, your dad and Granny desperately need one Mr Twitter between! Moi – #JGrin.

And when lazy men like us are dragged to watch a film that they have no intention of watching, what do they do ? Tweet. Tweet. Fom the promos and the publicity material of Lamhaa, we felt like its going to be Kaante 2. Kashmir Ke Kaante! Don’t get us wrong, we are all for political films but not bollywoodized versions!

So, here goes our compiled list of all the live-tweets from Lame-ha ? (plagiarised from Varun’s tweet ). Plus, the key words in BOLD.

Sm1 dragged me to the theatres for #Lamhaa. BEWARE! If am getting bored, will flood d timeline. Ths seems 2 b d worst this week.

In #Lamhaa Sanjubaba is Gul DUDE Jehangir. Nt sure fm which angle he is Gul OR Jehangir bt DUDE fm every angle. Sudnly a song n he is Munabhai 2

It hs mor information than Inception bt nothing new RT @KausPD: @moifightclub jst 1 tweet in 35 mins, looks like you are enjoying lamha 😉

#Lamhaa Interval – it promised to tell the ‘untold story of kashmir‘. So far, nothing that i dont know/havent read/seen/heard

#Lamhaa – ok, m convinced. Kashmir just needs few Sanjay SLO-MO Dutts. And every problem will be solved. Am serious.

#Lamhaa is also subtitled. Every 5mins. Tells u d location. At one point, it read …village of half widows. Am i missing something ?

#Lamhaa – every 5mins, someone reminds you – yeh kashmir hai janaab n then blahblah. Yeh kashmir hai bhaijaan n then blahblah. more blah!

RT @jahanbakshi: @moifightclub: If you’re too bored, try and spot if Bips is sporting Reebok Easytone sneakers. #classicproductplacements

#Lamhaa – Bet Rahul Dholakia can write a gr8 thesis paper on Cash-mir. But not sure how many thesis paper can translate into decent script.

#Lamhaa – ok, now m LOST. Its more complicated thn #Inception. I swear. If u dont believe, try it.

#Lamhaa – d zee news reporter is suddenly reporting in english. When did they launch english news channel ? pls enlighten.

#Lamhaa – Kunal Kapoor’s azaadi and then ‘vapas aa jao’ speeches r hilarious. On dais u nid furniture but not wid a mike in front of them!

#Lamhaa -like Kashmir, boils dwn 2 nothing. Our films genraly lack resarch bt this one is surely over-researchd n still offrs nothing new

#Lamhaa – strts n ends wid so many info plates. Someone just nid to push d delete button for d film in between to go away. U dont nid a bomb!

RT @singh_dr so @moifightclub havin Lazy Lamhe in Lamha ?

RT @DannyBoy84 @moifightclub “Serious political” Hindi movies are good at telling you what you already know. Haven’t seen Lamhaa yet but same symptoms i c

RT @mriganayanika Don’t watch Lamhaa for anything. Its cherry was popped by a very haggard Dutt.

Conclusion – Dholakia is a far better Gujrati filmmaker (Parzania) than a J&K reporter (Lamhaa). Brave effort, noble intention, bad casting, hilarious acting and over-researched mish-mash leading to nowhere! Atleast, it connects with the Kashmir problem on the last point.

Is this the bestest friday we have seen in ages ? Seems so. The Baap of every mind-bending game is here! Christopher Nolan, with his Inception. Plus, there is Udaan by Vikramaditya Motwane, Tere Bin Laden and Rahul Dholakia’s Lamhaa. Ok, rest can wait. Back to Inception.

The year was 1997. He was “Chris Nolan” on the credits then. But as they, the signs were all there. Watch it, if you havent seen it yet – the short film by the master before the world discovered him through Following.

We are Nolan-bhakts since we saw Following and he still delivers and how! As we saw his latest release Inception, I flooded the Twitter timeline with orgasmic, or should we call it Nolan-asmic tweets! If you are not on Twitter, here is all our gloating, as friends called it, all in 140 characters……..

I.N.C.E.P.T.I.O.N. See you guys after the dream (Jackass grin) !

Interval – HOLY FUCKETY FUCK! NOBODY, nobody is gonna fuck you like this. Everything is explained slowly but you CANT even blink!

Inception – go with as much expectations as u want! Its a BET! Nolan plants an idea, gives u orgasm, ditches u and gives u hard-on again!

Inception – anyone try writing the spoiler alerts…its gonna be one fat book u cant even imagine. Am not sure what can Nolan do after this.

Inception – did i mention its a love story! Ur mind is d scene of the crime. But ur heart gonna pull the trigger!

Inception – at every scene u r given explanation. Sm call it dialogue exposition. But still, it defies all gravity!

Inception – am willing to sponsor Aamir khan’s ticket. He didn’t understand Memento. I want to see the expression on his face after this one.

Inception -not sure if any1 ever balanced matters of head N heart so perfectly well 2 get u into d trap. Oops, did he beat my God C.Kaufman. J.Grin

As i said, I Luv Hate Storys. Cue – J. Grin! RT @Rychyk: @moifightclub I HATE YOU…make that WE. 😦

Envelope? He pushed d whole post office! RT @vicramb @moifightclub Knwing him,Smthing evn crazier! Tht guy really knws how 2 push d envelope

Inception – as d movie is about 2 end n u think Nolan has done everything possible 2 u, he delivers a BIG punch in d last scene. V r still debating it.

now m still in d Nolanland. Bet u cant locate me! J. Grin! RT @Envyas @moifightclub OK,stop this gloating or I know where u stay. :p

Block me 😉 not sure when i will b able 2 do that again RT @ArtRevel @moifightclub I want to Block you till I watch it 🙂 Making me jealous

# Ok, one last one…after all d Inception tweets how many Nolanbhakts cant sleep 2nite…wanna count 😉 and i will be in a dream! Aha, life!

So, have you booked you tickets ? Don’t forget to book you brains too. Ok, get that over-booked! J. Grin (we just can’t get enough of it). Also, releasing this friday is Udaan. And click here to read our review of Udaan.

PS – Don’t forget to let us know what you felt about it. And what do you think about the last scene/sequence of the film ?

We are sure that by now everyone knows the hottest word after “Paul” is “Jackass”. And if you are one of those who are still in wonderland, click here and here to read what,why,when and how it happened!

And it seems that Jackass Kumar and Big Buddhu B soon realised their mistake. It was backlash from every side. And in order to cover up the mess, they score a WTF hattrick. Today Bombay Blunder Times carried a story on their last page stating that it was their idea. WOW! To quote from the article….

But the point is this: Akshay Kumar didn’t visit Laxman in hospital to promote his film. It was our idea. He is, after all, playing the great cartoonist’s Common Man in his next release Khatta Meetha. At 86, ailing for close to a month, deprived of speech, struggling to get back movement, Laxman welcomes visitors. The alert and curious eyes light up, the handshake is firm and he refuses to let visitors go. They make him feel better. His wife Kamala and daughter-in-law Usha report a difference in his progress when people are around. “Akshay’s visit really made him happy, he perked up,” says Usha.

Everybody is welcome to visit Laxman, he’s on the 7th floor, room 712 of the hospital. Akshay Kumar took the time to do so. Who’s next?

Click here to go the epaper version of TOI. Select Bombay Times and then go to the last page of  14th July 2010 issue. Of course, they had no choice but to take the blame because the whole world knows the keyword called “medianet”. And it means if we want to inaugurate our new potty with Jackass Kumar grining next to it, it can come on the first page of Blunder Times. One just has to sign a fat cheque.

And whats worse, they have put out a new pic. The grin has vanished! Jackass Kumar is now all sober. Take a look.

This is the worst possible idea after making that mistake. Its confirms that they also realised the crime they committed! And today  Madhavan Narayanan, journalist/columnist with Hindustan Times, tweeted…

A source close to Laxman family has mailed me saying they were “not happy” with Akki’s behavior.

He even put out a post on the whole issue and also clarified that he knows the family. To quote his previous tweet…

I used to work 10 feet away from Mr. Laxman in TOI and we used to watch him in awe. His son was a colleague as well.

Click here to read his kickass post on the Jackass controversy. So, whats next ? What will the combo of Jackass Kumar and Blunder Times deliver. We are waiting and how!

A few days back, Cameron Bailey, the Co-director of Toronto International Film Festival was in Mumbai scouting for films. And we have been trying desperately to read between his tweets, for any possible hint about any Indian film which gets selected for the fest. And our eyes popped out when he tweeted….

Found a film in Bombay. If it hits you like it hit me, it will leave you drenched with emotions you can’t quite name.

Woohoo! Quite strong words to describe a film! Which film it could be ? We started the “Aao Guess Karein” game on twitter soon. Many of us thought it might be some Marathi film, because of the way the industry is currently producing some of the best films. And what can you expect from Bollylalalalnd of Jackasses! Seems like the hint was in his previous tweet….

Rains, cows, spit, donkeys, gold, silk, oil, mustaches and lunch with a supremely gracious superstar: Day 2 in Bombay.

Hmmm. Gracious superstar, who would be interested in Film Festival! It cant be any Jackass Superstar! We knew that Aamir and Kiran have been trying to push Dhobi Ghat into the fest circuit for quite sometime. They have been meeting all those who can lead to the right contacts at the right places. Even getting the Academy Award winning music director Gustavo Santaolalla on board to compose the music of the film was a move in perfectly right direction. Cameron’s third tweet made our life lil’ simpler. He tweeted…

Also met a talented new filmmaker you’ll be seeing at #TIFF10

We just had to join the dots. But before we could guess it, a friend (Aseem Chhabra) confirmed that its indeed Dhobi Ghat. And later on, we also confirmed it through our sources. So, big congrats to Kiran Rao! Making a mark with your debut feature is any filmmaker’s dream come true!

Though we dont have much clue about the film’s plot yet but it seems the film is set in Mumbai and revolves around the lives of four characters, whose paths criss-cross at Dhobi Ghat and Aamir plays a painter in the film. Prateik Babbar plays the other lead. Its shot in real locations, with Mohammed Ali Road, Marine Drive and Dhobi Ghat being its famous backdrops.

And this year clearly seems to belong to debutants. First Anusha Rizvi went to Sundance Festival with Peepli Live, then Vikramaditya Motwane’s Udaan got selected for Cannes Film Festival and now Kiran Rao. Welcome the new kids on the block. Cheers!

And the irony is veteran filmmaker Mani Ratnam  is also getting honoured at the Venice Film Festival this year, the year when he made the worst film of his career. Post-Raavan, the joke is “woh kaun sa muh lekar Venice jaayega ? Arre, dus saar hai na. He can pick any one”. Sad indeed, but so true!

It all started with this picture.

We wrote about it here. It was a shameless piece of shit publicity idea to involve an ailing old man who has nothing to do with the film. Rajeev Masand tweeted about it saying…

Need innovative ideas 2 promote films in competitive times. But Akshay Kumar grinning like a jackass at RKLaxman’s hospital bed is a new low.

Guess who found the tweet offensive. Amitabh Bachchan. Why ? Because of the use of the word “jackass”. We think thats an understatement. Look at the grin on Akshay Kumar’s face. What do you call that ? Plus, Rajeev said “like a jackass”. And even before Rajeev tweeted his thoughts on the pic, blogosphere and social media was already buzzing with sharp criticism of the pic and the publicity idea.

So, the key word is “Jackass”. We checked Dictionary.com and according to it…..

jack·ass has two meanings – noun

1. a male donkey.

2. a contemptibly foolish or stupid person; dolt; blockhead; ass.

We bet Rajeev didn’t mean the second one. It has to be the first one.

Anyway, WTdoubleF is that Amitabh Bachchan who criticises media almost everyday on his blog doesn’t find the pic offensive. Infact, he doesn’t comment on it but puts the focus on “jackass”. Wow! Bachchan in Blunderland. And to remind Mr Holier-than-thou, here is what he commented on his blog about TOI journalist Bharati Dubey once….

Get married, if you are not already. Embrace your sentiment. And may you hold on to it till your old age without the use of any props ! When you get there, give me a call. If I am still around, we’ll talk !!

Ofcourse, thats not personal. Click here to read more – why and when. And this wasn’t the first time. He also commented on Upala KBR of Mid-day stating…

Upala, the affable and rotund by-line writer form MidDay is insistent on my responses to the utterances of Mr Sinha, Mr ShahRukh Khan, Mr Salim Khan, Mr Aamir Khan.

Mr Bachchan, what do you mean by rotund by-line writer ? Again, going back to dictionary.com, it means…

ro·tund –adjective

1. round in shape; rounded: ripe, rotund fruit.

2. plump; fat.

3. full-toned or sonorous: rotund speeches.

Well, its also not personal! You can read the blogpost here. Wow, Sir, you are surely getting better with age. And yes, you choice of words surely confirms that you went to Sherwood School.

And click here to read Rajeev Masand’s reply to Bachchan’s criticism.

BTW, Sir, what do you think of that publicity stunt of Akshay Jackass Kumar ? Knowing your Sherwood School background, you surely can come up with better word than “jackass”! We are waiting and how!

PS – We lost respect for the old man long long long back, though he still remains one of our favourite actor of all time. So, all you “jackass” fans of Big B, come, attack us!

UPDATE – And finally the Jackass Kumar has replied. Click here to read his reply.

We had no clue about this film. Who made it, when, where, why and how! Found this promo while surfing the blogosphere. And it looks damn interesting. Starring Vinay Pathak, Mahie Gill, Sourabh Shukla and Mona Singh, its directed by Srikant Velagaleti. Shot on a budget of 4 crore….its the indie gang!

In Bollylalaland, there is no word called shame! As they say, jiyega..marega…publicity ke liye par kuch bhi karega! Remember Aamir Activist Khan during Rang De Basanti. Well, its that time of the year again.

A new film of Aamir Khan Productions is up for release and wonder whom he is remembering – Asheem Chakravarty. Why ? Because it makes news. Because Indian Ocean has composed one song for Peepli Live and another old song of theirs is included in the album of the film. But where was Aamir when Asheem Chakravarty passed away ? Why we didnt hear anything from him ? And where was he when the documentary on Indian Ocean – Leaving Home released ? That was the best tribute to Asheem. Aamir doesn’t need to put one more tribute show! If only he had supported the film, that would have been enough. But strange are the ways of the world, so bear it.

The other one is about Akshay Moron Kumar. Guess where he went to ? Breach Candy Hospital to meet cartoonist R K Laxman. Why ? Because he has a new film coming up called Khatta Meetha, directed by another moron called Priyadarshan. So, the marketing guys must have hit upon a great idea – lets get Akki the common man to meet the cartoonist who created the great indian common man. Because according to the Bombay Times report, Laxman’s common man was the inspiration for Akshay’s character. Bloody liars! Its a remake of malyalam film Vellanakalude Nadu.

Just take a look at the pic, see both the faces and you don’t need any words to describe  the scene. You can read the full article here (select Monday- 12th July, 2010 and then Bombay Times tab – its on left corner) or check out the first page of Bombay Times (epaper).

And thats why we have been requesting Robert Pattinson (though we hate the vampire craze)  again and again to just bite us once. We desperately wanna suck some bolly blood!