Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

Now that the post header has made you curious enough to book your tickets, do give the film some time and space. Its not your corn and cola cinema. For that you can wait for pottymaker’s Housefull!

As I returned home after the screening and looked at the bucketful of water in the bathroom and the reflection of the light on its surface, I could not look beyond. A bucketful water never meant so much. Never held my attention. When you go to a theatre to watch a film, its entertainment but when you come back home with a cinema inside you, you know its a masterstroke.

Vihir is one such cinematic masterstroke. Directed by Umesh Kulkrani and written by Girish Kulkarni & Sati Bhave, its devastatingly gorgeous, warm and heartwrenching tale of two freinds and their adolescent days. Of lost and found. Of life and death. Of hide and seek. Of love, lost and longing.

According to the official release, the synopsis of Vihir is as follows…

A story of two adolescent boys Sameer and Nachiket (cousins who are best friends) standing on the crossroads of life… to choose between the life that leads to petty worldly small existence or the life of free existence that would let them spread their wings and soar high in open skies…

They play a game of hide and seek in a rather unusual way. Where one cousin hides in death and the other is looking for him in the life around him. . . . Samir’s search leads him towards the experience of oneness where he can unite with Nachiket again!

Scratch the surface and you will find that the water runs really deep. There is family politics, pain of growing up, existensial crisis, chinese whispers, detachment and finding that “best friend” during one of the most difficult & exciting time of life – adolescent days. When suddenly one day you spot some soft hair strands slowly making a thin line just below your nose, you dont remain the same anymore. You want to talk to someone who belongs to the same club. You try to make sense of the world.

And like me, if you have spent your summer vacations at your nanihaal or mamabadi or mamaghar or Grandma’s place, you will instantly connect with it. Uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents – all under one roof. Things that you should not have known, tales that you should not have heard and incidents that you should not have been part of – you grow up then and there. You become Adult. Vihir moves in similar territory as Sameer & his Nachiketdada try to decipher the meaning of life around them. They are not only cousins but best friends too. One (Sameer) idolises the other but the other is lost. He is also trying to find himself. And its through one’s loss, that the other discovers himself.

But what kind of loss is it ? Is it just being invisible ? Or more than that. Here comes the maturity in the writing and direction part.  And now slowly all the dots connect. The simple game of hide and seek & chinese whispers dont remain the same anymore. Dont want to write more here to spoil the experience for you.

The character actors are all familar faces of marathi cinema. Lead actors Madan Deodhar (Sameer) & Alok Rajwade (Nachiket) say it more through the silences and gestures than the dialogues. Alok was also the lead in Siddharth Sinha’s FTII diploma film Udhedbun which bagged the Silver Bear at Berlin Film Festival in 2008. Shot gorgeously by Sudheer Palsane, the camera takes you straight inside the family affairs. The acting across the board is so natural that it looks like someone just put a camera there. Am not sure if the actors spent some time together before the shoot or what lead to such strong bond on screen but its pure magic.

When the first half got over, I was bit lost wondering if its the end of the film. And it could have been a superb end there. As i came out and met few other film buffs, realised that others also felt the same. So now what ? What will he do in the second half ? How will he wrap up ?

Fuck Syd Field and fuck all plot points. Umesh Kulkarni’s second half is pure visual delight. Mood piece. At one point, some 20 minutes of the film is complete silence. No dialogues. And once you are with the character, you know what that silence means. If you have ever loved and lost someone, you know its difficult to find a way out.  You dont want to hear people talking. They just dont make sense. You need no gyaan. You need that journey to nowhere. Remember last year’s Dev D ?

In the secod half, I felt the same once again. When “the well” scene comes, I thought here is one more end. But then there is some more. Its a journey of self-discovery. So, no point trying to figure out an end to join the dots. Let it go on.

And as a killer line in Rocket Singh song goes…Uljhe nahi to kaise suljhoge…bikhre nahi to kaise nikhroge. Nobody grows up in years, its always in deeds.

Water is life. And death too. In every drop. Everywhere. The subtle hints, the subtext and the layers – by the end it seems nothing is as simple as it looks.

(PS – Its great that AB Corp produced it. All respect. Hope they do more such films. And those of you who still think that am biased against the Bachchans, doesnt this post say enough to shut you up! We all love to champion a film that we like. Rest doesnt matter. It seems Jaya Bachchan was the key person for making this happen. This surely is one tight slap on the face of Raj Thackeray and his supporters who claimed Guddi buddhi zali, tari ajun akkal nahi aali. And do watch it on big screen. You need to dive into that water. The dark theatre and the big screen sets the perfect mood. )

Click on the play button to see the opening scene of Vihir

For more on Vihir, click here.

Are the Sony Music guys waiting for the album to hatch golden eggs ? They dont. And even if they ever do, they can do only when its out in the market.

Dibakar Banerjee’s new film Love Sex Aur Dhokha (LSD) is releasing on 19th March. Not even 10 days left and the music is still not out. Wake up Sony! Smell the coffee. Generally the music of a hindi film is released a month before its schedule release date and every week a new song is aired on tv channels to build up the hype. 

In recent past, T-Series did a superb job with two film albums which had no big stars and not big budgets. Dev D and Ishqiya. And it helped both the film’s box office performance too. Dev D was  sex + shock + songs, it jazzed up the  curiousity factor immensely! Rest all depends on how good or bad the film is. Similarly, Ishqiya’s dil to bachcha hai ji & Kaminey’s Dhen Tedan hyped the film and gave it a strong recall value. 

The problem is big labels need big stars. And better if the big stars lipsync the songs. Otherwise they dont have any clue how to market the album and the songs. And they are least bothered. So, the super giant Sony is sitting-thinking-shitting-pondering-ruminating-supershitting.

The music of LSD is by Sneha Khanwalkar who delivered a killer soundtrack with her last album Oye Lucky Lucky Oye. Rustic sound, lesser known singers, all packaged with a power punch. And interestingly, Dibakar has turned solo lyricist with LSD. He co-wrote few songs for Oye Luck Lucky Oye also. But this time, its all solo. Not one or two but he has written three songs including the now popular title track Love sex aur dhokha darling love sex aur dhokha. The second one is – I cant hold it any longer, an English-Rajasthani fusion!

The third song is Tu Nangi Acchi Lagti hai and there is another version of the same song- Tu Gandi Acchi Lagti Hai. Both versions have been written by Dibakar. No, there was no Censor locha as reported in the newspapers. One version is used in the film that goes with one of the characters (nangi) and the other version (gandi) is in the album.

Not sure when will Sony realise that there are people out there who are waiting for LSD music! If only management graduates knew everything about films and music, we would have an Auteur Club passing out of IIM’s every year!

Here is the title track sung by Kailash Kher.

Stars do strange things for film promotions. And during the pre & post-release they are also asked to be in their character! Say, see, act, behave, believe in what your character does in the film. And so Shah Rukh Khan had to bear the baggage of Rizwan Khan for My Name Is Khan. He could not go against it. The controversy followed and now it seems there is no end in sight.

The latest one involves the other Rizwan. Remember Rizwanur Rahman. He was married to Priyanka, Ashok Todi’s daughter and the Todi family was against the marriage. Few days later, his dead body was found near the railway tracks. The promoters of Lux Cozi innerwear, owned by Ashok Todi, were accused in abetting the suicide of Rizwanur Rahman.  Here is the wiki link to the complete story of Rizwanur Rahman. And more here. Also you can visit www.rizwanur.com . Do read.

And here is the connect. Shah Rukh Khan is the brand ambassador of Lux Cozi. Lux was supposed to sponsor the uniform of SRK’s team Kolkata Knight Riders. So, Rizwan’s team would wear uniform sopnsored by Rizwanur’s murderers ? And you expect Bongs to accept it and cheer for the same team! Unlike the intelligentsia in Maharashtra whose voice we havent heard much on the marathi manoos issue, thank God, even with their laziness, Bengali intelligentsia hasnt lost their sane voice! Amidst protests, Shah Rukh Khan has decided to call off the cozy deal. Great!

But if we are not wrong (we would be happy to be proved wrong though), Lux will be part of KKR’s off field merchandise. Come on Mr Khan, why play hide & seek ? You can easily let go few crores! For all the gyaan that you spread and the books & authors names you rattle off at 5am in the morning, does all this boils down to only business ? You surely can do better!

Between Life & Death, what I am most scared of ?

Posted: February 18, 2010 by moifightclub in life, Thoughts

Remember those scrapbook questions. What You love, what you hate, your favourite colour and blah blah. For one question, I never had any answer. What do you fear the most ? Girls would go for rats, spiders, cockroaches. Boys would say nothing. Few would admit that its ghost. Those who grew up more than their age would fill the place with “losing loved ones”. I would wonder if its ghosts ( would love to meet), loneliness ( enjoy it infact) or death (wow. chapter over. what a relief).

Then I discovered Albert Camus. Made me feel I am not guilty. Not the only one who wouldnt put “loved ones” in that blank space. Ryan Binghman in Jason Reitman’s Up In The Air made me realise that am not the only one bragging and selling detachment. Acting too smart, even with life. Wait till life plays the smart game on you. And it seems it has started playing it. Because now I know what I am most scared of. Not life neither death. Its when you are in between. You cant live, eat, drink, shit, scream and you cant even die. You just wait. There is no option. No button. No choice. You life is based on all the choices you made and then, there comes a full stop. Its one of those days.

We know her end is near. Some of us have started muttering it too. Its good for her, good for us, we all agree. Cover our selfish wish with an excuse for her relief. Or may be its the opposite. But she always said its not decent to talk about death. We stop midway. Everytime I get a call from that number, it scares me. Thoughts starts running in all directions. Have just been informed about her status. I give few quick fix solutions. Adult diapers. Wheelchair. This food. That liquid. Those kind of loos. Far away from her, its easy to suggest. Am just emotionally bothered. Those close to her, have lot to worry and more to do. Even the simple gesture of making her sit with a back support is daunting for everyone. The rest is not even easy to imagine.

 The phone is passed on to her. In frail voice, she asked me how I am. My eyes well up. Said am fine. Asked her how is she doing. Could not hear her voice after that. Some signal problem. Just few months back, I was there. When I was about to leave, she held my hand and tears started rolling down her wrinkled face. I acted smart and detached. Arre, am coming soon. Why are you acting ?

On the way back, Deepa Mehta’s Water came to mind. Yes, the same film that sold desi exotica to West. But I liked it. It was only for that old lady who wanted to have a laddo which she wasnt allowed to eat, and one day she gets it, next day she is no more. I remember her telling me so many times that when the end is close, you want to eat all those things that you havent tasted in ages. Food that you arent allowed. That makes you feel guilty because of social norms. In the end, you dont care. You want to taste it one last time. She is scared that she may want to eat non-vegetarian food on deathbed. She lost her husband quite early. Since then, havent tasted meat. Its been quite long. I again acted smart. Said it doesnt happen like that. And if it happens, I will make sure that I feed you the same and make you happy.

And am more scared. In my three decades of existence, I havent seen too many people on deathbed. May be, just six weddings and no funeral. Have always stayed away. From every kind of social functions. They scare me. They bore me. Hate crowds. Hate remembering all those important dates. Can live with the tag of “anti-social”.Infact have started enjoying it. Many say, leave him, he will not come. I nod happily.

So, why the “anti-social” is going all “senti-menti” this time on “social” media. Because it has happened before. Something similar. It was someone else. One more person who was close to me. I came back, wrote a post and it did happen. The end. For a change, am willing to be superstitious.

PS1 – She is there in a script of mine. Few liked it, some appreciated it. And those in power said it promotes superstition. I said its called magic realism. I have seen it all. But its stuck with a corporate house. I dream many times of making it some day and dedicating it to her. The days are counted few now. Hopefully some day it will happen. She will see it from wherever she will be.

PS 2 – BTW, if you havent read the gorgeous feature on Roger Ebert yet. Click here and read it. Its must must must read. 

First it was Madhuri Dixit and now its Kartik Krishnan. Rarely do people manage to get a film title based on their name. No, we dont want to count Ramu here. Thats for another day.

The 70 min film has been directed by Srinivas Sunderrajan. The cast includes Kartik Krishnan, Vishwesh K, Swara Bhaskar and D Santosh. Its shot by Hashim Badani and is written by Srinivas Sunderrajan & Vijesh Rajan. While trying to pitch his feature, Srini has been told by few that tu toh bachcha dikhta hai (which he does. 26 ka hai bus!), abhi film kya direct karega. Well, now he can throw the dvd on their face. 

So while we wrote blogs, spread goss, struggled with writing and did tweet-twat, the bachchas got together and shot this film in less than 70k.  Its been shot on Sony HDV Z1 in 30 days over a period of one year. And there are more twists in its making than in the film. Read on. 

Many of you must have already seen the trailer. If not, click on the play button.

Over to KK.

Flashback
The 1st draft of the script was ready and emailed to me on Feb 20th 2009 by the director and my friend Srinivas Sunderrajan with a instruction in CAPS saying ‘BANIYAN KHAREED” (helpful in attaching the lapel mike to the actor). We begin the actor rehearsals. The screenplay is in place but no dialogues. “Why?” I asked. “Because I want to improvise it”

Preparations

When the Locations would be available for say a Saturday, the actors would meet on a Wednesday for a reading and rehearse under Srinivas’ instructions. If some interesting lines came about in the reading, they would be kept. A framework would be developed with the actors being given a free hand to fill in the meat. No sticking to lines, but simply improvising, but being in the scene, being in character.

Shoot begins 
All wide shots, long takes. Minimal cut-aways. Not necessarily adhering to traditional style shooting of covering a scene from all angles. Also this was done because we used to get the location for not more than 2 hours (read: Location). And there used to be at least 4 scenes (average) per location. The lapel mike works sometimes, and sometimes you have to keep the battery cover pressed down for it to work. So someone off-screen would do that (Mostly the director himself)!

Slowly it is falling into place.

Crew

Barring the actors, there used to be max. 3 people on the set – Srinivas (director), Hashim (Camera), and sometimes a friend to just help us out. But most of the time, it used to be just the two of them. Some locations, had one guy for lights.

We are our own costume designers, makeup men, location in-charge, food & catering. We lose our cool most of the times due to the high level of multi-tasking, but Srinivas’ level headedness kept us going. All actors/crew (except Srinivas) having day jobs and other assignments, postponing a day of shoot meant waiting at least for a week for the same location & all our dates to match. 

Locations

There were 4 main locations in the film – KK’s flat, KK’s Office, Drinks Bar, Coffee shop. Coffee shop turned out to be an expensive affair so we had to settle in for a “sweet mart” which also had seating space for customers. With the help of Srinivas’ friend, we barged into one and finished two huge scenes in a span of 2 hours and before the owners could even realize what was happening – we vacated the premise.

For the drinks bar location, we had to visit the bar a couple of times, befriend the waiters, and then bribe them into letting us into the place to shoot early in the morning. So basically, 5am shifts wherein we used to enter the location via the backdoor, and then complete shoot before 9am because that’s when the main owner opens the front door shutter! We again had 3 long scenes at this venue and so we had to re-visit the location twice till Srinivas got everything he wanted.

KK’s flat was the cinematographer Hashim’s grandmother’s flat in Mohd.Ali road. Hashim had to basically trick the building people into saying that it was a student film and Srinivas’ ‘I’m still in college/school’ look came in handy! It was the most difficult location because the house was very near to the JJ Flyover and the sound pollution levels were maximum. To top it all, the house was on a slant so we had to basically balance ourselves while delivering our lines.

Intermission point
60% of the scenes are shot at this location in Mohd. Ali Road. The location is crucial because that’s the house of the protagonist, Kartik Krishnan.  

Due to some major ‘postponements’ and ‘date issues’, we could not finish the 40% as pre-decided. Srinivas, by now, has spent half his year trying to get us all under one roof for a very crucial scene of the film – the ‘film shoot sequence’. Just when things try to brighten up, a call from Srinivas – “One section of the 3rd floor (our shooting floor) falls onto the 2nd floor. The building has been cordoned off by BMC and will be broken down in the next 6 days”.

We’re in a fix – Whether to risk our lives and finish the 40% in those 6 days or just figure out another location. Risking life seems stupid but the only “indie solution” here! Srinivas is in two minds about the whole film now since any other location would break the whole flow-chart.

Time lapse clouds

I don’t hear from Srinivas for quite sometime. I guess no one from the crew has any news about him or the film. What to do when you have completed close to 60% of the film and a location in continuity is unavailable and you have a completely absconding director? Drink booze? We do. Luckily our director is a tee-teetotaler (edit: And still is!)  

Few months later 
I’ve moved on to a new job. Also to a newer house. I get a call from Srinivas saying “I’ve cut a scene from the film – do you want to take a look?” Hell yeah!

Srinivas comes home and shows me the first interaction scene between Kartik Krishnan and Srinivas Sunderrajan. I like it. He seems positive of finishing the film – we talk about my dates etc. Things look bright.

A few days later, another phone call from him. “Dates clashing”, “Crew unavailable”, “Life moves on!”

Welcome 2010, bye 2009

Fresh look. Use the existing footage. Shoot something else. Build a new story around it. See if it works. It does. So it seems. But not all actors are available. REWRITE according to the available resources. Film becomes something else. 

“I’ve got an idea to finish the film without involving everyone. I’ve already edited the film and written a rough script for the new version. You game?” – Srinivas

Shoot begins – again
Early morning 4am in local trains. 10 am versova beach. 11.30 local train to panvel. My house. Montage shots. Stock shots. B-rolls. Painful edit process.

Shoot complete 
Post production which was simultaneously happening, now needs to be addressed single mindedly. Does it all fit? Does it hold attention? Does the new story work? Is the VFX looking tacky? Inhibitions and doubts.

Screening for the cast
I saw it twice the same night. Seemed to hold. Long Takes kind of work. Don’t know what the audience will say. 

CUT TO – PRESENT 
Some talk about the festivals. Undecided. We are trying to spread the word. FB, twitter, mails. We’re hoping the film finds its own course.  

So, she sat down, pushed the rewind button, compared notes with other films and wrote this post for us. Fatema Kagalwala is the girl on the bike. Thats an easy way to spot her. Atleast we dont know any other girl in Mumbai who is happy to give us a bike ride anytime. In between ADing and writing, these days she is bit busy with pati and ghar-grasthi but like many of us her first love remains cinema. Read on. And like us, if you loved Rocket Singh, attack her!

”You know what I feel about these new-age ‘realist’ kinda movies, they put a complete honest effort into developing the whole film and when it comes to the climax its like they have lost all interest and want to just wrap it up hurriedly.”

These words were said to me by my husband introducing Rocket Singh, the salesman of the year, before I watched it. After I watched it, it made me think. Sadly because I tended to agree with them whole-heartedly about our so-called ‘new-age’, ‘multiplex’, ‘slice-of-life’, ‘realist’ cinema.

I finished watching the film with these words in mind. I did not agree with the analysis with respect to this film but still have chosen to open my piece with it as the problem with Rocket Singh, I believe, is not sincerity or honesty but simply a lack of balance.

Balance between dramatic reality and reality, entertainment and truth. In the cinema of some makers these dimensions are polarised. But when it comes to what I term as ‘filmy realism’ the tight-rope walk is do or die. Sadly, in these days it is becoming more die than do.  

At the end of Rocket Singh, I missed Hrishikesh Mukherjee, Basu Chatterjee and his likes with a pain. Generally, I crave that era wistfully but this time I missed it with a bit more vigour. Because, filmy realism began with them and ended with them. And try as we might we are unable to  recreate that world try as we might with whatever talent and money we can muster.  

Why do I compare both the world of Rocket Singh with that of Hrishida is not because of simple idealism or old-world values. I do so from the pov of story-telling, plain and simple.  

The drama of melodrama as a genre is easy to achieve insofar as one knows its boundaries and does not go the ham way or over-emphasize too much. There has been an established formula for melodrama for years which has successfully played out and will continue to do so. No blancing act required there except to keep in check over-emphasis.  

The drama of brutal, raw realism comes from itself. No holds barred, reality gets more real by this token. There is no limit to drama here as long as it is raw, brutal and stark. There are no balancing acts here that put demands on the maker vis-a-vis the value of his film, the choice only determining the nature. 

But filmy realism is a tricky thing. It is ambitious too. It straddles the world of reality and tempers it with a light-hearted note that might or might not be true/real, takes on the baggage of entertainment and even a note of drama to spice up the proceedings. All this within the construct of strict everyday reality yet keepng the fourth wall intact. Reality that is charming yet real yet engaging enough to keep you hooked yet unreal enough to keep you suspended in that ‘story-world’, yet layered enough for you to identify with every motivation, yet interesting enough to keep you rooted and at the end of it all real enough to be believable. Tall order, which Hrishikesh Mukherjee and his likes seemed to do effortlessly. And which our bluest-eyed boys fail at miserably time and again.  

Rocket Singh, according to me failed there. It did not have the correct balance of all ingredients. To spell it out, it relied too much on the truth of the character and sacrificed all the spice to it. The climax was beautiful in its honesty to the film, to reality, to the film’s reality and the world of its characters. But it left us cold. It left me cold and the person who I have quoted in the beginning. And millions of viewers who rejected it, which is painful.

Because it is not a bad film at all. In fact it is a good film. Far better than Chak De. Far braver too. But the idealism of the climax (and I don’t mean Rocket’s idealisim, I mean Jaideep’s idealism as a writer) not to compromise the truth of his character to drama and entertainment, not to pander to our baser and easily-fulfilled sides of our minds that would demand that. Brave decision. And in doing so he has made sure he has maintained the soul of the film. It is one film start to end and does not become something else altogether in the end just because a climax has to be certain way and story-writing conventions say so.

But, and now I will contradict myself. It is still not one film. Because it holds out two promises to us. One of idealism winning by its own gumption, the other of a nice light-hearted but deeper film, like Khosla ka Ghosla. It does not deliver on both accounts. 

Let’s examine the first one – Rocket Singh, the character is one of pure idealism, one who is forced to be honest, almost as though he is congenitally diseased by it. This idealism is doubly fuelled by his confidence in himself, his abilities and then later in his values and  to an extent, revenge. These were the very attributes that made Rocket Singh a hero, a real hero, even though he espoused what would seem today unrealistic values. These very values stood by him to give him strength in all his endeavours and weaknesses. So what happened in the end? What happened in the end, the breaking down of the man, in front of circumstances yet not bending his values yet being destroyed himself by his choice is I think a brilliant characterisation. It’s far more layered and telling that any our cinema has seen in a long-time. But, the promise the writer makes to us right from the beginning is that this man’s values are his strength. And so we expect him to derive strength from those. But that does not happen. What happens is a Gandhian ending where suffering is epitomised and ‘satya’ compels the ‘enemy’ to bend. Very idealistic and touching. But we were not promised a Gandhi’s story and so we felt cheated.

We felt even more cheated because the impact of this Gandhian ending left us miserably shaken out of our light-hearted mode (no it did not do anything to our consciences or anything, nothing RDB type of shaking up) but a rude awakening or say let-down. Like as though DDLJ had ended like  a Tezaab!

Not to say that a writer cannot suit his endings to his ideology. That he cannot subtly make his character do what he wishes him to do if it is within the parameters. Of course he can. But then do not promise a character that is different from that. Or do not scultp the tone of a story such that the legitimate conclusion would not fit in with your aspirations. I think Oye Lucky Lucky Oye did that brilliantly in recent times. Trippy, the film made no misleading promises, just sit back and enjoy the ride, it said. It’s an episode. Rocket Singh promised not only a joy-ride with a meaningful end but also an entertaining 2 and a half hours full of real-world charm and old-world values. But with the tone of the ending changed the complete tone of the film. Something that it was not building upto all this while. That’s why it was not one film. That is why even though it may have been true to its character it still was not true to its film.

Agreed, the questions were serious and choices life-defining even. But throughout the film not only does the tone of the film but the central character also promises me that life will be defined in a breezy way. More or less. And then a Hrishikesh Mukherjee film becomes a Shyam Benegal film. (Don’t take it literally, I am talking about the cinema they represent.)

On a more massy level, I would attribute the lack of drama in the climax to its failure. Maybe there are more such reasons with what was wrong with it. And if there wasn’t much, then lots is wrong with the audience that rejected it so brutally. 

– FK

PS – And to read more of her filmy thoughts, you can visit http://filmsandwords.blog.com/

WTF : Sonu Nigam is Sant Nigam now!

Posted: February 11, 2010 by moifightclub in Bolly Jokes, bollywood, life, News, Thoughts, WTF
Tags:

Otherwise how do you explain the following quote by Sonuji, oops Santji.

I’m not me. This is not what I am. I don’t want people to call me mad but I died last year. I don’t exist because what I thought existed, never existed. I realised last year that I’m an eternal creature. We say that life is eternal, the soul is eternal, and God is eternal. Do you really understand the magnitude of this statement that I will never die and I will live for ever and there is no separate God. There is no superior God. I’m not an inferior creature. I’m just a limited vision because I’m trapped in this body.

And if thats not the reason, we want to know what is he smoking! Because there are some more priceless gems by Sant Nigam. Sample this.

There is something happening inside which is silence but you can hear it and it’s only when you sit within or around yourself, that you realise that there is nothing.

All these quotes are from an interview published in Mumbai Mirror recently. Click here to read the full interview. And make sure you are not drinking anything while reading the interview. Chances are you will ROFL and spill it all over.

Time to get scared! Very scared. Because Rahul Mahajan is back on tv. And this time for his Swayamvar. Its Season2 on NDTV Imagine. As soon as the show was announced, we were busy wondering just one thing – Why would someone want to marry Rahul Mahajan ? We still dont have an answer but have one more question that should explain it. Why would anyone want to marry Rakhi Sawant ?

But who knows, may be there are women who just love S&M! Otherwise, why would anyone want to marry a wife-beater and divorcee who is known for substance use! Its just S & M. So, here is the list of 15 lucky (!?) finalists!  Out of 15, three are from Delhi, three fom West Bengal, two each from Maharashtra, UP & Haryana and one participant each from Jammu, Punjab & Gujrat! Wow, so much love from North for this Marathi Manoos! And no entry from South!

Click on the pics to know their age, location, profession and more!

Also, fresh goss from Udaipur has started pouring in. Gossipmongers are saying that the woman who won the contest refused to marry Rahul Mahajan. She wanted to win it for some publicity, quick fame and cash in on it. She ran away from the show. So, the producers of the show are busy planning a re-shoot of the final episode of the show! But isnt that obvious. We can already see the sequel in the making…Mujhe Iss Rahul Se Bachao!

Abhishek Chaubey has been working with Vishal Bhardwaj since Makdee days. As a co-writer and also assisted him on almost all the films that Vishal has directed so far. When Vishal decided to produce Abhishek’s debut film, how can it go wrong! Chaubey graduates from Bhardwaj School Of Filmmaking with distinction.

Ishqiya stars three of my favourite actors. Naseeruddin Shah, Arshad Warsi and Vidya Balan. The film is completely “fun on the run”. And its the badlands of UP, with crime, love, lust, deceit, gang war and conspiracies making a delicious rustic mix. Taste it. Except few filmmakers, Bollywood rarely explores the rustic charm and the desi flavours in the era of multiplexes, suave urban heroes and NRI money!

It opens with the husky voice of Rekha Bhardwaj. Aha! Though it took me some time to adjust to her voice on Vidya Balan. And then enters the Mama-Bhanja, Kalujaan & Babban. Add Krishna (Vidya Balan) to the gang and its teen tigada kaam bigada! Love triangle was never so much fun! With Bhardwaj’s dictionary & dialogues, he can say the most mundane thing in an interesting way! Tumhara ishq ishq aur hamara ishq sex! This is Love Aaj Kal! Mr Imtiaz Ali, are you listening ?

The first half is almost flawless. Never a dull moment. Vishal Bhardwaj’s killer dialogues takes care of the writing. Arshad got the best lines and delivers one of his career’s best performance. Have always felt that he is underrated and underutilised except for Sehar & Munnabhai series. This one does justice to him. Naseeruddin Shah doesnt need lines. He says more with his silences and pauses. The look, the smile, the charm, its all so perfect. Just watch him in the song dil toh bachcha hai ji! And the de-glam Vidya is the “laundiya waisi nahi hai jaisi tum soch rahe ho! ” Surprise!

Abhishek Chaubey – what an assured debut! Not a single weak patch anywhere! In an industry where filmmakers like Sagar Bellary (Bheja Fry) andManish Acharya (Loins of Punjab Presents) are applauded endlessly for their debut efforts, both the films which I didnt like, am not sure where would I place Abhishek Chaubey then! Mr Chaubey, get ready for the offers!

The only locha seems to be the climax of the film, much like Kaminey. It gets convulted, too many twists and some far-fetchd connections. The seeds have been planted from the start of the film and it all comes together to form the end.  But when the time comes for the close, the expectations grow so much that it seems jarring in trying to be over smart. But again, when the journey is such a joyride, you dont mind compromising with the destination. If only there was a better way to deal with it, it would have hit five out of five! 

In Ishqiya, there is no great story. Its screenplay and dialogues all the way. As they say, its not about the story but all about the storytelling! And brillant acting by the ensemble. Cant say much or will spoil the fun.

Watch it to know why Vishal Bhardwaj is the best dialogue writer in the country. Nobody even comes close. My favourite remains the dialogue from The Blue Umbrella where Pankaj Kapoor explains why he needs the umbrella. Pahadi ke picche se sooraj ko ugte huye dekha hai kya ?  Watch it to know why Naseeruddin Shah is still the God of acting! And watch it to know why you might end up liking that irritating song dil me baji guitar!

And if you are a fan of Bollywood’s golden oldies, you will smile more than once. Go, book your tickets.

Now that I have written some really good words about the film, can I get this T-shirt, Mr Bhardwaj! Saw someone wearing it, could not resist from clicking. He happily posed for me.

PS1 – Dont miss the beginning. Vishal Bhardwaj production got a new kickass logo, unlike any other. Its live action!

PS2 – Why Boney Kapoor’s company logo BSK needs to match his size ? 

PS3 – If kisses & smooches are still signs of growing up, Arshad & Vidya go for a full throttle & quite long smooch by hindi film standards! Bring it on, guys! Its ADULT film! Welcome to small town S & M! 

Because its not Agyaat!

And look at the irony! The man who went out to expose the media, got himself exposed! Courtesy writer Sonal Mehta.

First, lets kill the rumours. Sonal Mehta is no journalist. Was never a journalist. All you journos get you facts right! She comes from advertising background and has experience of more than ten years. She met Ramu and assisted him on James.

What we know – Here is the way Ram Gopal Varma works. He gets an idea and tells the same idea to 3-4-5-6 writers and ask them to write story/treatment. None of the two writers get to know that they are writing the same. It doesnt happen at one go. First one writer, then second, third and so on. Sometimes they get paid, sometimes they dont. Nobody knows the reason. May be he gets bored soon. He changes writers faster than his girlfriends!

Based on the treatment notes, Ramu decides which way to go. And he would suddenly call up the 7th writer and tell him the same one line and some more ideas from one of the treatments without telling the 7th writer about other six and their notes. This is not new.

We have been following Sonal Mehta’s case quite closely and here is all the dope that we got from our journalist and writer friends.

– After James, Ramu asked Sonal to work on his one line idea of media expose and all that holier than thou gyaan. She wrote the script. Ramu liked it.

– Sonal was told that she will direct it as well.

– Sonal’s script/film was titled Break ke Baad.

– She was even working from Ramu’s office.

– When she got to know about Rann, Ramu denied it first saying that its a completely new script. She was kept in the dark.

– When she confronted him again, he offered her to direct a new film. And that was the end.

Sonal Mehta went to FWA ( Film Writers’ Association). When the matter wasn’t solved there, she went to the court. And click here to know how the case was settled. Though our sources confirm that its not 55 Lakhs but the case was settled for 20 lakhs. Thats not bad too! And coming from Ramu, who is known to pay peanuts to his writers.

But Ramu is not happy with the way the producers have settled the matter. According to the official press release, Ramu states….

I hereby want to state that the Producers – Sheetal Talwar and Madhu Mantena have taken a decision to settle the dispute with that Mehta girl without my consent. The Honorable High Court has not passed any judgement or granted any injunction in the said dispute in any parties favour. As delaying the matter could cause irreparable loss to them they have taken this step to end the matter so that they can concentrate on release issues.

This settlement should not amount to any misconception that I was involved in the discussion regarding the same. I hereby by want to make it clear that Absolutely NO Credit will be given to her with regard to the story, screenplay or whatever of RANN.

I am hereby stating that I am just the Director of the film and the script has been written solely and wholly by Rohit G. Banawlikar and that Mehta girl is nothing but a fraud and a scamster and an opportunist. I will proceed with action on her to teach her and the likes of her a strong lesson as soon as I get free from my work.

Ramu ki dhamki!! Hmm. So why did the producers went ahead and settled the case out of court ? Well, simply because her case was stronger. Here is what she had with her…

– All documents proving every kind of official communication. Sms and mail exchanges between her and Ramu/his secretary/company.

– Comparative notes showing similarities between Rann & Break ke Baad.

– Letters from actors stating that she had narrated her Break Ke Baad script to them.

– No, she had NOT signed any contract and it worked her in favor. Beacuse mostly all the contracts state that in case of any conflict, all rights belong to the producer/director. So, even without the contract, she had much stronger evidences to prove her claim.

This is surely a landmark case. And when the other party is so strong. Not everyone manages to get their dues. Any knows what happened to Sajit Warrier’s case ? That was again Ramu!

So, all you writers, make sure that you don’t fool yourself. And if you are working with Ramu, make sure that save all possible evidences. Hope it never happens to you, but you never know! And if it happens, pray that you manage to get 20 lakhs!