Archive for the ‘gossipmongers’ Category

Katrina-KaifIts because of Aditya Chopra. The new mentor of Katrina Kaif.

It seems Katrina Kaif called up Aditya Chopra to get his feedback on the script of her new film 7 Days In Paris. As Salman Khan can’t do that one thing. He can surely call up his freinds and ask them to sign her. But he can’t make her quit a film unless she is doing a film opposite Shah Rukh Khan.

She had already signed the film and given a green signal to Sanjay Doom Gadhvi. Aditya Chopra read the script and realised that its a wrong film for Katrina. Because the first half of the film is all about walk the talk & talk the walk. Loaded with heavy dialogues. And so it will be much difficult for Katrina to carry such a role. The first half is much like Before Sunrise & Before Sunset.

Aditya Chopra told her to leave it or she might get really exposed. She is and should remain as Barbie Doll. The dialogue bit should happen haule haule…haule haule like love happened in Suriji’s life in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi.  Katrina understood the situation and backed out of the film just a few days before the shoot.

Sanjay Gadhvi immediately tried his luck with Priyanka Chopra, who asked for Rs 5 cr. It was a straight NO. Kareena Kapoor and Asin were also approached but they said a polite no. Now it seems Genelia D’Souza has been signed to play the lead oppposite Imran Khan. The Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na pair is back again!

Click here to read our other post on 7 Days In Paris and why we think Imran Khan should be worried about this film.

Michael Jackson

Strange are the ways of this world. And stranger are the ways of the Censor Board in India.

According to this DNA report, there are nine censor cuts in Akshay Kumar-Kareena Kapoor starrer Kambakht Ishq.  And one cut is because of the crotch. In one of the songs, there is a shot of a dancer who looks at his own crotch. Censor Board doesn’t like it, even though one can’t see what he sees. One has to guess it seems. Now who doesn’t know what lies beneath! But according to the Censor Board its not for public viewing and so snip! View your crotch only in private.

WTF! Jacko can grab his crotch in full public view and dance all around the world. And here in India, an extra can’t even look down. Forget about grabbing it. Govinda, Prabhu deva & Chiranjeevi could only place their hands at the right place (or was it little above ? at the waistline ? ) and move it. Nobody dared to grab it like Jacko did and made it world famous too!

Monica BediWe are not joking. Those of you who follow us regularly, know it. But why would Universal Music go for Monica Bedi and make her sing punjabi prayers and do chanting? Of all the people, Monica Bedi ? What an idea sirjee!! Its a punjabi prayer album called Ek Onkaar.

We can understand Monica Bedi’s reasons for doing it. Desperate  times call for desperate measures. And an overweight purse is always good. It seems she went to a local gurudwara to train herself.

Monica Bedi oldBut from one extreme to other! We understand or atleast pretend to understand that she is also a human being and may be trying her best to forget her past. But we are not Ghajini’s Aamir Khan! Our memory is too sharp. We take time to forget things and more so if its all about skimpy clothes. We are just bastards (okay, we prefer Inglorious Bastards). Do let us know which Monica you prefer, old or the new ?

Govinda 2If Manoj Night Shyamalan ever decides to make a sequel to The Sixth Sense, we would pray hard that Govinda gets the title role. Cole Sear can grow up into a chubby & funny man. Why ? Because Govinda is born to say that popular line – I see dead people! Believe it or not, but Govinda believes so.

Check out this story in today’s Mid-day. How Govinda and his brother Keerti talk to their dead mother. Ripley’s Believe It or Not or ROFL! For more colourful & bizarre Govinda stories, click here , here and here. All about Govinda slapping, abusing, cancelling shoots for the weirdest reasons you have ever heard.

And this is not the first time. The stories are many and here is one of your recent favourites. Govinda was in London shooting for Tigmanshu Dhulia’s King Con, which he wanted to name Show Man. One day suddenly Govinda called up the dialogue writer close to him, slapped him hard and asked him why he is conspiring to kill him. WTF can be the only natural reaction of any normal being. The writer complained to Dhulia and walked out of the film.

That was just the beginning. Next day,  there was a metal pole by the roadside at the shooting location of the film.  Govinda demanded that the pole be removed or he will not shoot. Why ? Because the pole is giving bad vibes. Now how to explain to Govinda that London is NOT India and he can’t just remove anything from any public place because its giving you bad vibe. Pole remained there. Shoot cancelled. Location change.

And more such incidents followed. He felt that the name King Con is not lucky and when Dhulia decided not to change the title, Govinda walked out of the film. He also refused to shoot in front of the Buckingham Palace because he was a sitting MP then and so he would not dance in front of London’s Royal Family Palace. Hehehehehohohoho! He even refused to dance in front of a Queen’s lookalike. In this scenario, calling him “Insane” will be under-rating him.

Last we heard, Dhulia has patched up with Govinda and have decide to work together. Terms and conditions will be according to Govinda’s ghostly interpretations. Boo!

Why is Shah Rukh Khan digging his own grave ? Is it difficult to get the star quotient out of your head or is it impossible to hear anything beyond the voice of your cronies! That’s what it looks like. Reminds us of the film Luck By Chance and Hrithik Roshan talking to his image.

Raj Kumar HiraniRaj Kumar Hirani – Greed killed it. Hirani approached Shah Rukh Khan for Three Idiots. Khan offered to produce the film, pay him Rs 25 cr for writing-directing fees and asked Hirani to leave Vidhu Vinod Chopra. Lil did he expect that some people have the guts to say NO to Rs 25 crore. And a NO to Shah rukh Khan. Vidhu Vinod Chopra even asked Hirani to take the offer if Hirani wants it. But Hirani knew what he wanted. When Hirani said NO, Chopra wrote a letter to Shah Rukh Khan and made his views clear. Then the twist happened,  Hirani got Aamir Khan for the same film. Who is having the last laugh ? Need we say more.

Vishal BhardwajVishal Bhardwaj – Ego killed it. Some time back, Bhardwaj approached Shah Rukh Khan for a film. He narrated the script. Khan wanted changes. Disagreement. Vishal was trying to find a way. But Khan’s cronies made it ugly. As if the world moves according to Khan & his cronies, the script should be exactly what the King wants. Vishal left him. According to today’s Mumbai Mirror, now Hrithik Roshan is doing a film with Vishal Bhardwaj. We are waiting to hear more.

ashutosh gowarikerAshutosh Gowariker – Dumbness killed it. We are not great fans of Shah Rukh Khan – the actor. We love him for his intelligence & the great rise from being an outsider to the top. Swades & Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na – are the only two films of Khan which can tolerate. Rest is beyond us. But it seems Shah Rukh doesnt think so.  He wants commercial success.

According to this report, Shah Rukh doesn’t want to work with Ashutosh Gowariker anymore. Has he really lost it ? We think so. And hope that Gowariker gets someone better soon.

That leaves Shah Rukh Khan with only three directors – Karan Johar, Farah Khan & Aditya Chopra. And they will recycle him in same kind of dead boring roles.

Now compare it to Aamir Khan & the the directors that he has worked in recent past..

1. Raj Kumar Hiri – Three Idiots

2. A R Murugadoss – Ghajini

3. Amole Gupte ( writer/creative director ) – Taare Zameen Par 

4. Kunal Kohli – Fanaa 

5. Rakeysh Omprakash mehra – Rang De Basanti

6. Ketan Mehta – The Rising : Mangal Pandey

7. Farhan Akhtar – Dil Chahta Hai

Its not very difficult to guess that Aamir is willing to work with anyone who can convince him. Unlike Shah Rukh, he is not looking for “freinds” who can direct him. He is looking for “directors” who can direct him. And this is surely working in his favour. Shah Rukh, are you listening ? 

And the credit goes to Shiney Ahuja. Kanti Shah ? Shiney Ahuja ?

RapeWhat ? You don’t know Kanti Shah ? Never heard of Kanti Shah !! He is the director who made the cult classic Gunda. If you are a cinema buff, Kanti Shah’s Gunda is a must watch. Lambu Ata, Pote, Chutiya, Ibu Hatela, Bulla, Bachubhai Bhigona – they are all legends. The film is rated 8.0 out of 10 on IMDB

Now, the Shiney Ahuja connection. Indiafm has done an interview with Kanti Shah where he Chamak - The Shinyhas confirmed that his new film Rape is inspired by Shiney Ahuja’s rape case. And it has the hero raping the heroine. 

 And there is more. One more R-grade film is inspired by the same case. Its titled Chamak – The Shiny.  The film exposes the darker side of Bollywood, how people are exploited for roles in the films. Oh yeh, we are waiting! Gimme R-ed! Gimme more!

BTW, for all of you who havent seen Gunda yet, here is a scene from the film. Munni meri behan Munni! Enjoy!

Sanjay Dutt LuckBut filmmakers ko mangta hai toh mangta hai! Sanju Baba or Sanjay Dutt. The old haggard actor, the beefy body which has turned into a booby body now is still here. The style n tantrum quotient is still high. Or he likes to believe so. But we dont see that turning into ticket sales. Not sure why the producers and directors still queue up for him. So what was his last hit film ? Hmmm…ahhh…nooooo….leave it!

Coming back to the topic. Check out the three promotional videos featuring Sanjay Dutt. From Soham Shah’s Luck (aazma song), EMI and C KKompany. Tells us whats common in all three videos.

Got it ? Its Sanjay Dutt’s dance steps. The great footwork of Sanjay Dutt is the same in all three videos. 

He doesn’t move. Its the chair or the king size sofa! Imagine this. The choregrapher has to choreograph a song with Sanjay Dutt. The poor soul must be trying to figure out how to move the chair/sofa, in which direction to move it, to make Dutt look cool. Since Baba can’t dance, he sits on the chair/sofa, stares into the camera & just poses. The chair/sofa is put on a moving stage and is moved with the overweight Baba on it. And he charges a bomb for this. Plus the tantrums. Sitting and posing on a chair was never so expensive.

To make sure that it doesnt look boring, throw in some foreign extras in skimpy clothes and its done. Enjoy the videos.

 

LuckIts DOOMED.

The weather was cloudy. But still no signs of rain. We went to Juhu beach to have some chana zor garam. Ripley’s Believe It or Not ! As we unwrapped the pack, we discovered that its the first page from Luck’s script. Imran Khan’s new film directed by Soham Shah. It also stars Sanjay Dutt, Mithun Chakraborty, Danny Denzongpa and Ravi Kishan.

We ran back to the chana-wala and asked him for some more chana. And as chewed more chana, the complete script came out, page by page.

We first wrote about it here and now we got the proof.

The script seems to be one of the earlier drafts. But in terms of story/plot/synopsis, there is lot of similarity (read plagiarism) between Luck and the two films 13 Tzameti and Intacto. Yes, Soham can take credit for killing 13 Tzameti.  The screenplay is credited to Rensil D’ Silva and felt like reading five episodes of reality tv show Khatroon Ke Khiladi back to back. And a boring one.

If  the hero and heroine are participants in a game where you can survive only by winning, you don’t need brains to figure out who will win the game in the end. Its hindi phillum.

Last time when we wrote about the script of Guzaarish and put up this post ( read here & here) , it made headlines and lot of readers questioned us. So this time, here is a scene of Luck from the script. Need we say more! We don’t lie.

The scene summarises the film. We are guessing Ram is Imran Khan and Khan is Sanjay Dutt.

Ram

You know about…

Khan

I told you. Khan knows everything. (He takes some notes and shoves them into Ram’s hand.)Luck is a crazy thing Ram. Not many people have it. It’s more valuable than all that money you’re holding in your hands. Because, luck is what makes money for people. For you. For me.

Ram

Who are you?

Khan

You could say I’m an invester.

Ram

Invester… like in the stock market?

Khan

No.

Ram

Property…real estate?

Khan

Not really. You see I invest in something far better (leaning close to Ram now). I invest in luck. People’s luck.

Dear Imran,

After all those big talks, you signed this film ( read this shit)!  Aapka to bad Luck hi kharab hai unless it turns out to be one more surprise hit like Race or Ghajini. You can never figure out the audiences IQ. So hope for the best that the dumbs turn out in hordes.

As we read the script while chewing chana garam which seemed more interesting than the script, we could hear only one dialogue. Remember Kidnap. Imran & Sanjay Dutt.

Sanjay Dutt – Go to hell.

Imran Khan – Hell is right here Raina!

(This one is no different. And yey like Minisha Lamba in bikini, this one got Shruti Hassan in swimming pool.)

We surely arent buying the tickets. Give us 13 Tzameti anyday anywhere!

fightclub

A friend from Kolkata mailed us some pics to beat the Monday blues. And we are ROFL since we opened our mailbox. Take a look at the pics.

We hope you guys know who Claudia Ciesla is.  CC  ? Yeh the 38 DD babe! She made headlines because she knows Salman & his family, because Abhishek was ogling at her at the Cannes Film Festival and because she had some D-grade film release recently.

soumitra c

soumitra c2

soumitra c3

Apu is back and how! We love and respect Soumitra Chatterjee for everything he does. But this one came as a big shocker! These are stills from a new bengali film Dus-ta dus ( as in 10:10).

And Claudie Ciesla in Tollywood! We had no clue. BTW, take a closer look at Soumitra Chatterjee’s Godfather T-shirt covering his pot belly. Whoever thought this, is surely drinking & smoking something ET !  

But the big question is where the hell is Mallika Sherawat ? The motor mouth siren who hit the headlines with bold statements has vanished from Bollywood these days. Hissss is the new ssshhh in her life. It seems she is in Los Angeles, trying her luck in Hollywood and is busy with her new film Hissss in which she plays an icchadahri naagin! Wooh!

And the dare bare actress is smart enough to keep herself in the news and make the right buzz. She was spotted with musician Yanni and well known music composer Ric Wake recently at Ivy Restaurant, Los Angeles. And if rumours are to be believed she is in serious discussions with Yanni and Ric as she wants to perform a snake dance during his next concert in India.

We wonder if Yanni will play the naagin dhun for Mallika Hissss Sherawat to dance ? If nothing else, she is hitting the right notes atleast.

BTW, Hissss is directed by Jennifer Lynch, daughter of David Lynch. And the cluless bald man with Mallika is Govind Menon ( of Khwahish, Kis Kiski Kismat and Bachke Rehna Re Baba shame)

There are four pics and a video of Mallika Sherawat with Yanni and Ric Wake. Check them out.

For Hissss trailer, click here. And for first look/plot/story/synopsis click here.